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"I'm going to bed, can you do the washing up for me?" Sure. Both items? We get through more washing-up liquid than petrol.
Especially if you do everything twice.....
Can I add people who delete duplicate posts and make my comments look daft
the fact that contractors for well funded housing development companies are allowed to dig up perfectly good road surfaces to put down services and when they have 'finished' the road looks like its been re-laid by Del Boy and Rodney. Not only does the resulting patchwork quilt of tarmac trenches and patches look awful but it obviously splits apart a couple of years later resulting in massive potholes we have to pay for. In a sane world (like say the Netherlands) the road has to be put back in a better condition than it was before or the company gets a massive fine....grrrrrrr
linking into the sobriety thread, the fact that guinness zero is (slightly) more expensive than yer common and garden guinness. would have been nice to drink a bit less alcohol and feel the benefit in my pocket as well as my body.
The fact that pi is not a whole number. Ruddy irrational nonsense. 3.14159265 my arse
linking into the sobriety thread, the fact that guinness zero is (slightly) more expensive than yer common and garden guinness. would have been nice to drink a bit less alcohol and feel the benefit in my pocket as well as my body.
Was reading the other day somewhere that the alcohol free process is more expensive, though this was written by a brewer justifying the price of his alcohol free beer.
No duty on it tho. It should be cheaper. Alcohol free gin is the same price as real gin
Can I add people who delete duplicate posts and make my comments look daft
Isn't this a bit like "do these jeans make my bum look big?" No, it's your fat arse that's doing that, love.
😁
Screaming children. How can something so small make so much noise?
We're currently experiencing a full-on meltdown from a 2-year old which could be heard from low Earth orbit and why? Because it's naptime. My ears are bleeding and my over-ear headphones are broken.
Is the pub open yet?
American Pie
I absolutely hate the fact that the phrase will now always be associated with a series of awful bratty low brow US movies generating a sexist guffaw and not the beautiful album I've just listened to (for the umpteenth time) by Don McLean.....and American Pie isn't even the best song on the album
Listening to American Pie, it's a genuinely terrible song that drones on for far too long, is far too pleased with itself with lazy rhymes and coded lyrics that refer to things and people from more than a half century ago. Turns out that the jester is Bob Dylan (another total arse) and the King is Elvis...How would we have ever figured it out? At least Carly Simon has never said who it is who's so vain...
And really, at the end of the day it's a pitiful reactionary whiney song about how Don doesn't like it that music moves with the times, and that hippies have ruined everything. (at least he got that right)
'Pleasing patina that adds character to this rare item'
No,no it doesn't , you're just too lazy to do a proper restore job,done a half assed Google search,and it looks like it was dropped out of a plane.
At least Carly Simon has never said who it is who's so vain...
I thought it was Warren Beatty
Sitting on a cold wet campsite in Northern Spain when the UK is basking in sunshine.
It has been variously through the years; Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Cat Stevens and David Bowie. Simon herself has said that the song isn't about 'a' man, but men in general.
Still a better song that American boring Pie
****stan and India having their little war. There are enough problems in the world at the moment without this, and when you've razed yourselves into dust you'll look towards the Himalayas and see China sauntering towards you, and *then* you'll actually have something to worry about.
I'm not a fan of violence but I really want to put the leaders of both countries in the same room and then slap them repeatedly around the head with a dead salmon until they've grown up a bit.
Edit: I just want to make it absolutely clear that it's not me choosing to do that ridiculous censoring.
Edit: I just want to make it absolutely clear that it's not me choosing to do that ridiculous censoring
Is it making you dispropotionately cross?
No, I just don't want people to think that I have something against one and not the other when, as I said, they've both equally entitled to the wet fish slap.
Finding riders from all over the world that have joined every Strava club know to humankind, despite at least some being clubs for riders in a very localised area. When I come across them, I go to their profile (which often takes ages to load because they have joined hundreds of club) and they join my blocked list.
If I'm looking at my local clubs activity list, often looking for inspiration for a route, I don't want to know about your rides in India; Brazil etc.
Me: Explains what I’m going to do for a customer to fix their issue.
Customer: OK, please can you also [repeats back verbatim what I’ve just told them I’m going to do] *copies in their boss*
Tried to book a hotel for November.
Credit card expires in Sept, so computer says no.
Requested a new card and explained why.
New card arrived with new number, new CVC but same date 🙄
Explain situation to bank, they tell me only way to get a new card is to cancel my old one and send another. Various scheduled payments fail due to card being cancelled.
New card arrives. Guess what ****ing date it has on it.
Explain to their online chat people. Their solution? Book my wife's 50th birthday trip several months early instead...

Being blessed with knackered sinuses.
I appreciate it's hardly terminal cancer, but when it flares up it hurts like hell. Currently feels like someone has rammed an ice pick through my right tear duct.
Ow.
People who call eBay "the bay of e" and the like. So ****ing tedious.
(See also "Faceache", "Book of Face" etc.)
Leaf blowers.
WTF? Using fossil fuels to pollute the atmosphere whilst blowing leaves from one place to another place… not to mention the noise pollution for hours on end as some fectard keeps going at the same area where a slightly moist leaf has stuck to the paving slabs.
Drivers who don’t know the width of their car.
Driving through a local town the other day with a Transit and a Micra in front of me. A delivery van parked on the side of the road causes a slight narrowing of the road. The Transit drives through the gap quite easily but the Micra driver decides their car is too wide and slams the brakes on. Despite several vehicles coming the other way stopping to allow the Micra to go ahead, the driver wouldn’t move for a good 5 minutes.
Eventually Micra driver edged through the gap at about 0.0000000005mph with a good 1.5m clearance.
A minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things but it made me disproportionally cross.
Leaf blowers.
WTF? Using fossil fuels to pollute the atmosphere whilst blowing leaves from one place to another place… not to mention the noise pollution for hours on end as some fectard keeps going at the same area where a slightly moist leaf has stuck to the paving slabs.
People who don't know that leaf blowers can be powered by electricity....
We're they blowing them into the road , so the magic tarmac elves who roam the streets at night could collect them to use as bedding and avoid the leaves blocking the drains causing localised flooding?
MrsMC has been away for a weekend with friends. I gave the car a good wash before she went to get rid of the ladt months accumulated dust and pollen.
She appears to have parked all weekend underneath a tree full of incontinent seagulls who'd been out for a few Guinness' and vindaloos. Which has baked on in the sunshine.
People who call eBay "the bay of e" and the like. So ****ing tedious.
(See also "Faceache", "Book of Face" etc.)
I think it's acceptable, once.
People still write things like "Micro$oft Windoze" despite not having touched it since WFW 3.11. Pass the needle and thread, my sides have just split. Bore off back to your iMac.
'Selfies'. Still.
The word alone makes a little bit of vom come out. Absolutely sick to death of seeing people's gormless faces spoiling the view in photos. Why do we need to see your idiotic face every time you post a photo you colossal frikkin div?! Stop being so self obsessed and/or stop thinking you have to conform to this horrendously vacuous habit of current times. Showing me the view? Lovely. Showing me your miserable, stupid looking grille alongside the view? GTF! The fact you took the photo is evidence enough that you were there ok! Arriving at a beautiful spot only to see two terminal ****wits huddled face to face with arm extended into the air and a ridiculous grin on their punchbags for faces.
Stop it. Please. Just stop it.
😚🤳
Thread should be renamed to things that make you an intolerable ****. For me, it's being forced to listen to shitty bone average music from which there's no escape. Its cycling everywhere. Oh look the weather is nice let's force everyone else to listen to dull arse crap ache balls music. Oh I want to go to the ship to buy some came here listen to this warbling bastsrd homogenous tune.
Weather forcecasts for rain that suddenly change.
Showers were expected in Hampshire from ~2100 and then went out to 2300+, so planned to ride early evening when it's a bit cooler, but out of nowhere we are now expecting rain from ~1830... Four forks snake!
Weather forcecasts for rain that suddenly change.
Showers were expected in Hampshire from ~2100 and then went out to 2300+, so planned to ride early evening when it's a bit cooler, but out of nowhere we are now expecting rain from ~1830... Four forks snake!
Just look here and see what the clouds and wind are actualy doing... https://zoom.earth/maps/radar/#view=53.06268,-1.73111,8z
People that ridiculously over exaggerate stories to make a point.
Also; people that get shitty when I stop to allow people to pass parked cars SAFELY. Which means without having passing each other at 60mph relative speed and 0.00001 micron clearance between wing mirrors.
In seriousness. I hit a cat a because it ran out from between parked cars, and it made me think what if?
I then didn't hit a kid another time that just stepped out from between cars because I had slowed down and was allowing a decent distance between me and the line of parked cars, even if it meant oncoming cars had to slow and wait. It's saved me on the bike from being doored too. I make no apologies, my safety and the safety of a vulnerable road user come above 'making progress'
People that ridiculously over exaggerate stories to make a point.
Also; people that get shitty when I stop to allow people to pass parked cars SAFELY. Which means without having passing each other at 60mph relative speed and 0.00001 micron clearance between wing mirrors.
In seriousness. I hit a cat a because it ran out from between parked cars, and it made me think what if?
I then didn't hit a kid another time that just stepped out from between cars because I had slowed down and was allowing a decent distance between me and the line of parked cars, even if it meant oncoming cars had to slow and wait. It's saved me on the bike from being doored too. I make no apologies, my safety and the safety of a vulnerable road user come above 'making progress'
Assuming you are getting disproportionately cross about dove1's disproportionate crossness above 😉
Exaggerating for effect or not, I certainly come across that kind of driver fairly often. Of course every driver should go through gaps like that safely, that goes without saying. But there's a difference between going at an appropriate speed and stopping entirely, thinking your car won't fit when it clearly can. And it's often a tiny car like a Micra or Aygo or something, stopping at a gap which you could fit a Transit through.
I get that not everyone is great at judging distances. But seriously, if some of these people are that bad then they shouldn't be allowed to drive in public. I wouldn't trust them to be a safe driver in other circumstances.
(And yes I am talking about the extreme cases such as, literally, Aygos and Micras through Transit size gaps. Obviously there are many more cases when it's better to play it safe, unless ofc you're a driving god like me 😁)
People that ridiculously over exaggerate stories to make a point.
For when exaggeration itself isn't enough?
Writing what you think is a witty post only for it to be the last on a page and not to be noticed
That (other) men's haircuts now take so f____g long. I'm on my lunch, I need what's left of my hair shortening, so I nip into the barbers. Two chairs in use, both look like they're not far off done, excellent.
Oh no
There's been about twenty minutes so far of faffing with razor blades, trimmers, steam things, and nothing, hair cut wise, seems to be much different to when I walked in.
'Selfies'. Still.
I've posted this before but, people holding phones in a stupid manner.
I walked past a young lass yesterday, she was on the phone (because of course she was) and was holding it horizontally flat, screen pointing skywards and the microphone pressed up to her ear so the phone was jutting out from the side of her head. Why? Just... why?! It makes absolutely no sense.

so I nip into the barbers.
Isn't this what appointments are for? I don't think I've "just nipped into the barbers" since I was in school.
I go to a hairdresser rather than a barber - I figure, they're more experienced at dealing with my gorgeous flowing locks - and I have to book weeks in advance.
Isn't this what appointments are for?
Well, when the average mail haircut took about ten minutes, appointments weren't necessary. Now the hairstyles themselves seem to be the same, they just take four time as long...
I walked past a young lass yesterday, she was on the phone (because of course she was) and was holding it horizontally flat, screen pointing skywards and the microphone pressed up to her ear so the phone was jutting out from the side of her head. Why? Just... why?! It makes absolutely no sense.
You don't see it anymore cos of Bluetooth, but I used to love when you'd see someone with a wired 'handsfree' earpiece in their ear, one hand holding the microphone bit to their mouth, and the other hand holding the phone. I always wanted to go "here, mate, let me show you something that will free up one of those hands..."
Well, when the average mail haircut took about ten minutes, appointments weren't necessary.
You make a fair point. I go for a haircut broadly annually so it's a bit more work than taking a number 4 down to a number 2.
Back on the topic of hotels...if you say breakfast is served from 6.30am, have all of your breakfast offering available from 6 chuffing 30am... Some of us have to go to work!
I always wanted to go "here, mate, let me show you something that will free up one of those hands..."
And then they called the Police...
Crappy earworm songs. Watched a film the other week, had "Bette Davies' Eyes" at the end. Can I get that crappy old song out of my head? Well yes, because now, after reading this thread I've now got the song I probably hate more than any other in my head. American sodding Pie. Argh!
Have we done toothpaste tube sizes?
Typical brand toothpaste size was always 100ml
Brand changes size to 70ml and there are no other options on the shelfs. 70ml is now the normal size. But the price is the same as the old 100ml.
Brand now makes 100ml tubes again and markets it as 'NEW XL SIZE' and charges more.
Corporate bastards! I hope they all shit a hedgehog backwards.
I've now got the song I probably hate more than any other in my head. American sodding Pie. Argh!
and my work is done.
Try mellowing out and listening to the whole album - its actually quite good, especially on vinyl. Slow music for a gentle Sunday morning.
Kim Kardashian. Goes without saying really, I suppose.
so I nip into the barbers.
Isn't this what appointments are for? I don't think I've "just nipped into the barbers" since I was in school.
I go to a hairdresser rather than a barber - I figure, they're more experienced at dealing with my gorgeous flowing locks - and I have to book weeks in advance.
Ive given up on haicuts. Nearly 4 years now.
* flicks luxuriant locks *
so I nip into the barbers.
Isn't this what appointments are for? I don't think I've "just nipped into the barbers" since I was in school.
I go to a hairdresser rather than a barber - I figure, they're more experienced at dealing with my gorgeous flowing locks - and I have to book weeks in advance.
Ive given up on haicuts. Nearly 4 years now.
* flicks luxuriant locks *
You're worth it
so I nip into the barbers.
Isn't this what appointments are for? I don't think I've "just nipped into the barbers" since I was in school.
I go to a hairdresser rather than a barber - I figure, they're more experienced at dealing with my gorgeous flowing locks - and I have to book weeks in advance.
Ive given up on haicuts. Nearly 4 years now.
* flicks luxuriant locks *
You're worth it
When I walked out of my hotel room this morning there was a used towel on the floor at my door. Not between the two rooms but right at my door. I've stayed in hotels a lot and I've had this happen maybe a couple of times. Once with a bag of fast food containers. My question is why? It seems like more effort than just leaving it outside your own room and calling housekeeping. Anyway, I'm now disproportionately cross, but also confused.
Neighbour been jetwashing her drive for last 4 hours, constant noise and utter waste of water.
Neighbour been jetwashing her drive for last 4 hours, constant noise and utter waste of water.
4 hours for a drive? do you live next door to Balmoral, or something? 🤣
When I walked out of my hotel room this morning there was a used towel on the floor at my door.
I think that means someone is planning to steal your dog.
Decided to watch something on amazon tv. Rings Of Power, I thought, I'll either enjoy it or I'll enjoy slagging it. While waiting, an advert for Molly Mae, whoever the *** * that is, plays in the background. Choose the option, have to sit through an advert for Molly Mae whoever the * that is, teh same advert that I've already seen every other time I turn on amazon tv. Show starts- at the start of series 2, even though I've not seen series 1 it defaulted to the most recent one. Who does that?
Exited show, selected series 1 like a sane person would, and... had to sit through the advert for Molly Mae whoever the * that is again. At least show me something else instead of the same advert 3 times in 5 minutes.
👆 To be fair to them, they got you talking about Molly Mae (whoever the * that is). 😉👍
The red text in the post above making my eyes go all funny.
The red text in the post above making my eyes go all funny.
So does watching too many adverts for Molly Mae, whoever the * that is
When you go to the ice cream van and all they have is Mr Whippy style nonsense.
When you go to the freezer, and discover the kids have eaten all the ice cream including the Mr Whippy style nonsense.
The red text in the post above making my eyes go all funny.
That also made me disproportionately cross, what happened there, I thought I'd selected italics. And all my asterisks came out randomly different.
Stuff left 'in the way' unnecessarily. Previously we've had examples like shoes not on the rack, and clothes next to the laundry basket. This morning's example:-
Why not just put it in the convenient hole about 4" to the left?
(This may turn out to be a double post. Forum playing weird atm)
Firms that advertise 48 hour tracked delivery and then
a) don’t put the item in the post for several days
and/or
b) (and I think I’m looking at you, Galibier) don’t send you the tracking number
"Cutter" - It's pronounced Qat-Ar you lazy ****ing Yank
When I walked out of my hotel room this morning there was a used towel on the floor at my door.
We went as a family to see a university, which meant an overnighter. We found a drunken 18-year old on the floor at our door (not our 18-year old)
He woke up with a bit of a start and wandered off to look for his own door, just in time for breakfast


