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Colleagues who ordered a McDonald’s for themselves and didn’t feel the need to ask the other members of staff if they might have wanted anything
Reminds me of an ex-colleague, we’d arrange to meet, and I’d drive us to site in the company vehicle, he’d be late more often than not. Not hugely but 5 mins or so..
He’d either turn up with a shop bought coffee, or want to stop at the services “for a piss” and come back with a coffee and/or snack fo himself.
Disrespectful knob.
He didn’t last very long with us as, ok I’ll give him 5 mins quickly turned into bollocks to you, you’ve had 30 secs and training you actually makes my day harder anyway.
.
dyna-ti has modelled himself on Tony Soprano thrusting the ice cream in Kevin's face
If you are ever invited to a poker evening at his pad be very wary
Forgetting to pick up my actual wallet, remembering I haven't set up a Google wallet on my phone, and realising the change in my pocket is only good for a meal deal for lunch or a posh frothy coffee, not both.
My most first world out of touch problem of the day.
Festive themed...
- Fairy lights where the "Steady On" mode requires 17 pushes of the button. It should be the default.
- Pound Shop sticky tape.
Mini-roundabout at a small crossroads.
Two cars come at the same time from opposite directions, both wanting to turn to their right.
Great! This is what mini roundabouts are made for, right? We can both go around each other in a glorious ballet with barely a pause.
BUT NO
I get halfway around just as the muppet opposite decides to cut the corner, going around the wrong way. We both screech to a halt, nose to nose, and stare at each other. After a second I gesture to him to circle the roundabout clockwise and shrug, he tuts (yes I can see it, THAT kind of tut) rolls his eyes shakes his head and goes around.
Idiots are idiots and the roads are full of them. It's the attitude that makes me so cross.
Buying a cheap game (because it's cheap) for a Nintendo Switch only to find out it requires a subscription! In the bin the game goes.
You can add “why does everyone seem to think their vehicle is 16 foot wide?” to your list. So many times I’m stuck behind someone who won’t drive through a gap, even though something like a tipper lorry has just gone through it in front of them.
I use a semi secure multistory place when i'm at my partners. The speed that some tiny hatchback driving plonker rolls through the 2.6m wide door, because it's at a "slightly" funny angle is infuriating. Get two or three of them in a row and it causes gridlock because it's just off the roundabout. I've even seen one person backing up for another go, in a Polo.
You can get a large SUV through there without issue.
I know you can.
Because i've done it, repeatedly.
People that don't know how to merge at roadworks correctly.
There's some long-running roadworks near where I work that takes a dual carriageway (40mph road not that it really matters) down to a single carriageway (left side closed) about 200 metres after a roundabout. So many idiots block both carriageways off the roundabout or just a bit on by trying to merge straight away. And then people in the right-hand lane think anyone in the left lane is trying to queue jump. So rather than it working efficiently and people zip merging at the cones it's utter carnage and I usually have to queue even to get onto the roundabout (frequently nothing moves as the roundabout is traffic light controlled and idiots coming from the right just block the roundabout (it's yellow hatched but there's no enforcement cameras).
They need a TV ad campaign along the line of the old space invaders one where they get the message across everyone should merge in turn (although at least 75% of drivers seem to be complete morons so it likely wouldn't help)...
Police force round here did a social media ad explaining how zip merging should work and bellends still argued the toss. With the Police RPU.
Should be 6 points and £100 fine!
Airports that put passport control just before the boarding gates.
I travelled through Berlin last night. New airport to me, ultra nice, quiet, clean and otherwise lovely airport. Did bag drop off, breezed through security and sat down for some food and a drink. Kept a close eye on time, screen said 5 mins walk to gate and gate closed at 1700hrs. So, at 1645hrs we saunter off to the gate, got around the corner and met by a huge snaking queue for non eu passports. Queue was full of panicked people for multiple different flight all stressed to the eyeballs.
Not sure whether to blame the airport designers or brexit voters, or both. But why can't passport just be by security so you have done your queuing by the time you kick back and relax with food and shopping? I can't think of a single benefit of moving passport control to Berlin (and some part of Malaga) set up.
Luckily I'll have my Irish passport by the next time I travel, but I might get in trouble if I leave my wife behind in the other queue!
This is niche and some may not get the relevance of the annoyance but I've noticed a trend of the subjects of official MOD social media being tagged in the comments by friends/family.
Clearly the principles of PERSEC and lessons of Op Telic/Herrick have been forgotten. Boils my piss.
Seems odd. Do the MOD not clean that up?
Not so far, I wish they would get wiser to it, I appreciate for many serving now it's a different playing field but the rules still apply. Bad dudes with bad intentions don't care if you're a blanket-stacker or steely-eyed dealer of death, they'll take it as a win.
MI6 openly stating they've taken their eye of islamic fundamentalism to focus on peer threats I would have hoped it would trigger some more robust policy.
Some of the 'plots' briefed by 'security services' in our op tour prep will stay with me forever.
I had my first electrical cable slung across the pavement encounter while out for a jog last night. It was in a particularly dark spot, away from street lights and shaded by a high hedge on an overcast night. Luckily it was at (my) chest height and I was on a slow run, though I still hit it pretty hard.
Speaking of zip merging, I had this just the other day. There's a junction near me which has 2 lanes merging into one just after it, quite a long distance for zip merging but no one ever does it and just sits there in one long queue. Weird.
Anyway, I went up the empty left hand lane and instantly a Golf pulls halfway over to block me. The builder's van behind him (and slightly behind/beside me) revs up and accelerates hard 3 feet forwards so as not to let me in either. Meh. I just slot in behind him and amuse myself with the fact that the Golf's plate starts with KY and the van's with PN15. Let them get on with it 😉
'So, are you all ready for Christmas then?'
I had my first electrical cable slung across the pavement encounter
... for what? xmas lights, car charging, just used as a weapon, ... ?
BBC sounds podcast narrators WHO emphasise every OTHER word because they THINK it's bringing an AIR of gravitas.
Just read it.
You can do it, because when the audio switches to a recorded interview, the same person is speaking normally.
There's a wealth of interesting subjects on there but I can rarely get past the, "THIS is a story of INTRIGUE and MYSTERY..." in the first minute
There are people who WRITE like that also. It's really grating.
People who stand unnecessarily close to you while waiting for something.
I was dealing with a fairly mundane issue with a ski pass, and this much older gentleman came and stood very close to me. It kind of made it look like he was with me, so none of the other available attendants called him over. I imagine he would have gotten taken care of more quickly had he waited at the "Wait here" sign.
"the event is at 06:00pm".
No, it's not. It's at 06:00 or it's at 6pm. It can't be both.
‘So, are you all ready for Christmas then?’
I haven’t had one of those yet, should I do so, the reply will be “No. I don’t care about Christmas.”
Also, phükwits who seem to be pathologically incapable of nudging the little stalk on their steering wheel that operates the flashing orange light that tells other road users what direction they’re going in at junctions and roundabouts. [img] 
[/img]
Johnners - the time you are referring to is 18:00 pure and simple - stops there being any confusion.
“the event is at 06:00pm”.
No, it’s not. It’s at 06:00 or it’s at 6pm. It can’t be both.
I saw one the other day for an event starting at 18:00pm.
It made me cross and a little sad.
"the event is at 06:00pm”.
No, it’s not. It’s at 06:00 or it’s at 6pm. It can’t be both.
Oh god yes. I can't effing stand that. A perfect example of the disproportionate influence some ****wit American programmer can have on the world.
Johnners – the time you are referring to is 18:00 pure and simple – stops there being any confusion.
Er yes. He knows that. But whichever ****er did the time formatting didn't. PerhapsJohnerrs should have written " people who write 06:00 am are complete..."
Johnners – the time you are referring to is 18:00 pure and simple – stops there being any confusion.
Well, quite, but there's no point telling me!
A Labour party communication btw, originating from central office. I'm going to blame Wes Streeting.
There was a serious accident on the A46 near me today. The police posted on FB to advise people to stay away, but many people were stuck stationary for many hours, and amused themselves by contributing comments under the police post. Mixed in with those comments were several like this
Very sad.. It happened right in front of me ? _ https://dodgydomain.com/NewsUpdate
Disgusting spammers.
Mixed in with those comments were several like this
Very sad.. It happened right in front of me ? _ https://dodgydomain.com/NewsUpdate
/span>
Disgusting spammers.
Fails the "disproportionate" test IMO.
fails the “disproportionate” test IMO.
Fair.
Family members
Wham
More seriously the use of the term “sad” as an insult for folk who don’t always follow the flock , like them what get about rough places on bikes
“the event is at 06:00pm”.
No, it’s not. It’s at 06:00 or it’s at 6pm. It can’t be both.
How would you write quarter past six in the evening?
How would you write quarter past six in the evening?
6.15pm.
Not 06.15pm.
Or just read it from the context. "I'll see you at 6.15 for dinner", someone who shows up at 0615 will get a smack 😉
Gormless * ers out and about in public spaces playing life in half speed. Mainly to be found in supermarkets clogging up aisles or stood two abreast going DOWN an escalator slowing everyone behind down to their pace.
Had an absolute belta today mind picking up some stuff for my daughter in Hobbycraft. Lass in front of me in queue for checkout when asked her post code (not sure why this was needed) she said “eeeee I don’t know I’ve just moved house”
”well what’s your old post code?” Said the lady on the checkout.
”eeee I’ve forgotten it”
Well * off then you useless bastard. Presumably this person is actually employed to do a job and she doesn’t know her own postcode. **** me man.
Any **** that uses the phrase "bad boys" when referring to anything other than a naughty pack of dogs.
****wits.
I am pretty sure that I posted about this before but I need to vent again.
Packing.
A city mini-break requires only hand luggage. Not a 23kg bag, each. And, if you insist on booking hold luggage and I still pack like a normal person and bring only 5kg of stuff, it is not an invitation to then fill my bag up with even more of your stuff! You do not require five pairs of shoes for a four day break.
When the detergent "eye ball" doesn't fully dissolve in the washing machine and you get that residue on the back of your pants.
Farmer moving multiple trailers of manure into his completely sodden field and tracking vast amounts of mud onto the road on a 90 degree bend. I'm cross but not as cross as the person who crashed due to the mud, causing the road to be shut for half a day.
HR
Disproportionate or entirely justified?
ElShalimo
HR
+1 if only because it should be "Personel" not Human Resources - how Matrix is that?
The person(s) in our office who has not learned how to properly open a milk bottle - unpicking the bottle top and balancing a tiny frisby on top is not how it's done. Push it in gently with your thumb biasing it to one side and you have a sealable close fitting lid. It's not ****ing hard! How do these people not learn from all the good examples? Do they not spot that their pathetic and time consuming effort falls on the floor at every opportunity and that there might be a better way?
If a colleague asks me (specifically me, starting the sentence with ‘Tom…’) a question at work, invariably one of a couple of other colleagues will start answering that question before I’ve even started speaking. Often the answer will be 50-75% correct, before asking me for the final bit, at which point the asker thanks us both for our help.
Getting more and more pissed off the more it happens.
^This.
Although I'm not called Tom.
The person(s) in our office who has not learned how to properly open a milk bottle ... How do these people not learn from all the good examples?
Because almost nobody has milk delivered in bottles to the front door these days, so they never get exposed to proper foil tops as kids. It's a sad indictment on the state of the nation. I'm keeping the tradition alive in The Lawman household, but looking around the neighbours, this is a one-man-stand.
Car salespeople - how can they all be so useless? its been 10 years since I bought a car but now I need 2. I'm a cash buyer and ready to commit.
I've been to about 6 main dealers over the last couple of weeks to ask questions about EVs - cars that sell up to 50k!!!
So far EVERY question I've asked has been answered incorrectly by EVERY dealer. Now admittedly I'm not asking what colour is it or how many wheels does it have but questions like can it take roof bars, if so what's the roof loading, can it take a tow bar, if so what's the towing capacity, can I spec it with smaller wheels, can I spec it without a glass roof, Does a particular spec have a particular feature (V2L)......FFS these are questions a dealer should know or at least know where to get the answer.
And stand up Renault Southampton today who couldn't even give me the right price and told me a brand new vehicle price that was totally wrong, even when I queried it and asked were they sure and that was great because it would come in under the 40k luxury car tax........it wasn't and it wouldn't as I checked when back home.
And I mean 'sales people' ? Literally no salesman(woman)ship was seen at any point
If you work in car sales, I'm sorry but your industry is a joke.
When people call electric bikes “eeb”. What does the second “e” stand for?
It's vocative or onnematterpayic or something. I can't remember the bloody word..
Fonnetick perhaps.
Although I’m not called Tom
exactly - any ****er calls me "Tom" they can get stretched.
Yeah, eeb doesn’t stand for anything.
surely it's just the 1st "syllable"/bit of ebike, unless anyone pronounces that with a hard e
Huge que in screwfix, all tills maxed out, waited best part of 20 minutes, almost and till, guy in front ‘do you have anything for a leaky tap?’
JC!!
This! Bugger off to B&Q.
I ended up changing my membership so I can use the Electrifix counter, no diy bastards.
Yeah, eeb doesn’t stand for anything.
surely it’s just the 1st “syllable”/bit of ebike, unless anyone pronounces that with a hard e
Yeah, but it doesn't stand for anything as in it's not an acronym.
"Friendly reminder"
People , mostly women who try to enforce the joy of Christmas onto others.
All they seem to be able to talk about is "the big day" what the plan is , what they are cooking , who is coming to their house etc etc etc .
Then they get all deflated when I say I hate Christmas , wish it didn't exist and , if I was allowed to would have zero participation in the whole shit show.
Getting quoted $1000 to regas a 4 year old home AC split system that cost $1300 to buy and install.....
I hate this kind of shenanigan. Probs due to the fact it's Summer and it's 3 days before Christmas though.
Fortunately, I'm in no rush despite the 40c we had today. It's 9pm now and still 34c.
Being asked to enter my PIN Number. Watching people pay with contactless by putting the card on the machine. Watching people drive towards you at a roundabout but turning left without indicating. Noisy eaters...... I mean I can go on!!!
Restaurant noise. Now very much a thing
Power cuts
It's 2024!!!
Socks that are badly sewn/finished on the inside.
It should be enough,that a man of a certain age can stand (perfectly) balanced on one leg during a sock fitting.
However,this process can quickly turn into a very dangerous (and high risk) manoeuvre, when a toe catches mid pull.
People who can't walk in a straight line.* It's a 2m wide pavement and I can't get past from behind you because you're veering all over the place like a shopping trolley with three wheels.
(* - disabilities excepted of course, I'm talking about folk who are plainly just being crap.)
Being asked to enter my PIN Number.
I didn't realise until recently that card providers only allow a certain number of consecutive contactless purchases before you are asked to input a PIN. I think to stop a ne'er do well going on an extended shopping spree.
I think some of you really need to stay at home more 😉
- it works well for me.
I call it my personal identification PIN number.
RAS Syndrome.
I didn’t realise until recently that card providers only allow a certain number of consecutive contactless purchases before you are asked to input a PIN.
... which is weird because that used to be the case when contactless was first introduced but it hasn't been required in years.
Old one (Fair chance I've posted this before); but anyone who uses "nom" to describe something pleasant to eat should be fired into the sun.
Newer one; Use the phrase "..give your head a wobble"? Please don't breed.
Brown loaves from the bakery section at a supermarket; they're either made to the usual 'loaf' shape, but of a size that would only be useful in a doll's house, or they're made in some weird pseudo-artisanal shape that is basically useless if one wishes to, say, cut a couple of slices to make a sandwich.
Just make a normal sized, normal shaped, brown loaf you knobbers!