Subscribe now and choose from over 30 free gifts worth up to £49 - Plus get £25 to spend in our shop
Apart from "Good job it was a quiet day at Southwaite Services" I can't think of anything not rude to say about this
Apart from “Good job it was a quiet day at Southwaite Services” I can’t think of anything not rude to say about this
Even as someone who follows "Shite Parking Watch UK" on FB, that is special!
“The Bike Farmer” on YouTube. I can’t be arsed to write down all the things I find really irritating about him. Have a look at some of his videos and tell me I’m wrong!
Sounds like he's tried to turn the audio into coal. Awful.
Cougar2Free Member
Oh, trip is there. I know how many miles I’ve done since I last (ahem) tripped over the reset control by accident, but not total mileage.
For sure both Trip and Odometer are there, they just changed the names to Total distance and Long term distance, as far as I can tell.
I’m less annoyed about it now, however the heater and volume controls are craptastic.
FedEx's new billing website.
People who come to work on site without even their own frikkin pencil ffs, then leave offcuts on the saw every single time they use it and put gripfill covered things and all sorts of crap on every single horizontal surface that you've set up as a workstation and sling their car in the middle of the large drive, blocking it without a thought to all the other people that need to fit in and constantly drop their guts in the room you're working in.
Aaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhh!
I'm ok. I've just executed him with the pencil I lent him.
Help desk that contacts me during my night so that they can put the "wait time" on me. When they finally contact me, they haven't read the case notes, do all the same things as every previous person than say they will escalate within the team. Rinse and repeat every day for 3 weeks.
If only I had an admin user id! All that needs to be done it to uninstall VBA completely and reinstall from scratch. (not my choice to use VBA, I use a terminal emulator that relies on it) (and the terminal emulator is rubbish but we're not allowed to use the good one that we used to have from a German vendor because having fewer but worse emulators is better)
Apart from “Good job it was a quiet day at Southwaite Services” I can’t think of anything not rude to say about this
To be fair, it looks like it was a quiet day. If the car park was near capacity I'd have more sympathies.
the terminal emulator is rubbish but we’re not allowed to use the good one
How locked down is the PC? Stick PuTTY on a pendrive?
Stick PuTTY on a pendrive?
My toddler did that once. I wouldn't recommend it.
(Yes, I know what you really mean 😉 )
PuTTY doesn't support 6530 block mode so not an option sadly
I have no idea what that is, but PuTTY's author is a friend of mine so I could always ask.
‘Do you want anything from the shop’
Does not mean I’ll do your weekly shop or hunt out specific brands of thing, especially tobacco products,
6530 block mode is the protocol invented by Tandem Computers for their bespoke slightly intelligent terninals back in the day - so logically like IBM 3270 but completely different. It's only used by HPE NonStop (the current name for Tandem) so probably not worth developing support for but thanks for the thought Cougar.
The word 'Schedule'
It's pronounced SHED U AL not; SKED U AL
It causes me to shout at the telly or radio.
It causes me to shout at the telly or radio
As in Rad-e-oh, not Ray-de-oh?
Fireworks. Currently dog2 is enjoying a valium and hiding under the sofa. 1 night is a pita but a couple of weeks is hateful.
American voters.
Oh, and those who've had enough of experts.
Elections... Start off with a mild worry, then get hopeful only to be royally pissed off when the results roll in. The UK GE this summer less so but I'd like a feeling of joy on the day after an election at some point...
Broadband/media provider companies...
Convo something like this via webchat:
Here's the best deal we can get you. Now, it's what you have said you need and more than what you have at the moment, and £105 p/m.
OK - let's look at the detail...oh, so it's the same as I have now?
Yes
But its £35 a month more?
Yes
And I can renew online for only an extra £2 a month?
Yes
Have I misinterpreted something here?
I don't know what this means.
I'll leave it thanks.
Hello, can you clarify how you wish to proceed?
I'll leave it thanks, as I'm not ineterested.
Oh, ok, can you fill out this survey?
FML
Cookery programmes - when did they all start saying tewmrick instead of turmeric?
Makes me tut quietly every time.
And why do chefs always put a redundant "off" after words? Fry off, seal off, roast off etc.
I've never listened to GB News before. This morning someone had it on in the background so I was idly listening.
.....
Can't even formulate a sentence properly about it. Let's just say it explains a lot.
The world's really going down the drain, isn't it.
And why do chefs always put a redundant “off” after words? Fry off, seal off, roast off etc.
"Fry off" at least makes a nominal degree of sense. If you fry something, you cook it with oil. If you fry off something it implies some sort of reduction. Maybe.
A few tractor drivers. I know you're in a hurry but driving at 20+mph around a blind corner on a single track road isn't on. And whilst you're very skilled I'm sure the giant trailer really needs more than 20cm clearance from the cyclist who's now in a hedge.
Elections… Start off with a mild worry, then get hopeful only to be royally pissed off when the results roll in. The UK GE this summer less so but I’d like a feeling of joy on the day after an election at some point…
I've got some great news for people like you living in the US. You won't have to worry about elections ever again.
After recent events I'd have to say Americans.
When Strava doesn't record a ride. I had it started on both my phone and Samsung smar****ch. The watch ran out of battery (it's old) and the app didn't save on the phone.
A few tractor drivers.
People following tractors.
Behind a tractor, you'll have a line of traffic half a mile long dribbling along at 10mph. Yet behind a bicycle they'll cheerfully fling themselves into oncoming traffic with nary a care in the world. And gods help you if you're next-but-one behind a tractor, not only will the driver in front not consider an overtake until the heat death of the universe but if you think "I can pass both of these" then they'll actively pull across to obstruct you for queue-jumping. ¬!"£$%^&*(ards.
The bloke who nicked cutlery from Pedalabikeaway at FOD on the weekend because he didn’t bring any in his van. Don’t be a ****
When Strava doesn’t record a ride
What ride?
When "Pie" turns out to mean soup with a pastry lid.
Bake, or rather bakes, used as a noun
E.g. Bob bakes (correct) some delicious bakes (get f*cked)
I feel quite strongly about this. Who's with me...
Auto correct on messaging apps/keyboards. If I wanted to type 'hit' I would have typed 'hit'...what I actually typed was 'got' because I wanted to use the word 'got'.
Edit: I'm aware I can turn this off, but that means navigating through 6 screens to get to the deactivate button. Having a bad day 🙁
my newish phone, when i want to download photos to the computer by USB, it says to tap the notification saying your phone is being charged by USB. But now that its 100% full, theres nowhere to tap/connect
More cars in front of you, that slow down when the lights are green, so theyre the only ones that can get through
chicken pies, they all have bacon in them, i dont eat red meat, I need chicken pies with real chickens
Bake, or rather bakes, used as a noun
You can blame the likes of Greggs for that... it's not a 'steak bake' it's a meat pasty FFS.
The horrible whiny space ship noise of a neighbour’s Tesla numerous times a day - her Green credentials would be a lot greater if she got off her ample backside and did trips to the local shops and the school run on foot and not by lining that right wing cretin Elon Musk’s pockets
Cookery programmes – when did they all start saying tewmrick instead of turmeric?
Jamie Oliver. Just shut up. Just shut your freekin mouth. Please.
People on eg Facebook who assume that everyone is in the US. “Where’s the best place to buy x?” Well, I dunno, there’s a little shop down a back street in Ulam Bator. How dis that work for you?
American voters
Well, it makes sense they voted to not have abortions, cos they also voted to not have health insurance. So at least they’re consistent.
"when did they all start saying tewmrick instead of turmeric?"
My girlfriend says tewmrick and I am cross with myself for not having the balls to correct her.
^^ see also bay-zil, oreg-en-oh and urrrrbs generally!
Braking bumps especially on berms. I don't understand why you'd be braking on a corner anyway.
Rode the new Flat White today which I believe has only been open after been rebuilt and it is already showing signs of wear. Still amazingly good fun though.
Mild or mature cheddar that doesn't taste of anything. Go extra mature or go home.
Milk that isn't cold on cereal.
People on eg Facebook who assume that everyone is in the US.
You can guarantee that whenever someone is talking about a place on social media without actually saying where it is, it's either the US or London.
Braking bumps especially on berms.
After the preceding post, I had to read that three times before I worked out that you weren't talking about a large bread roll.
Having my brummie way of speaking English corrected by Scottish people. The same Scottish people who do don't pronounce their 'T's or 'L's (I give you 'Fitba'), pronounce the letter J as 'jie' (rhymes with tie) and can't say purple burglar alarm.
And I don't even have that strong a brummie accent ;)
don’t pronounce their ‘T’s or ‘L’s (I give you ‘Fitba’)
How does fitba not have a T in it?
Scottish people who do don’t pronounce their ‘T’s or ‘L’s (I give you ‘Fitba’), pronounce the letter J as ‘jie’ (rhymes with tie) and can’t say purple burglar alarm
I pronounce Ls and Ts, don’t say jie and can even say purple burglar alarm.
How many Scots are digging you up about a brummie accent in reality? One?
English people who call lochs locks.?
I would agree that extra mature cheddar tastes best but if you need to slice it or grate it then it just disintegrates so going slightly younger is a compromise between taste and structural integrity
I don't get the l & t non pronunciation but I do say fitbaw and J rhymes with tie or pie even slightly
Jay is a corvidae to me
Predictive text sigh
How many Scots are digging you up about a brummie accent in reality? One?
In my 22 years of living in Scotland I haven't counted but it is definitely more than one, at a guess 5-6. Once by a lecturer in Inverness college, because I said J as Jay.
Obviously it's not all Scottish folk who don't pronounce their 'T's but some definitely do (or should that be definITEly).
But there's no need to get all defensive for other Scottish people being fannies, there's plenty of English people who are also unpleasant to Scottish folk, like Londoners calling them 'Sweaties' (sweaty socks - Jocks).
TBF though it rarely comes up in conversation.
True, not in every day chat. I pretty much like how Scottish people roll their 'R's, there is only one way to say "there's been a murder" and that's like it was on Taggart.
But there’s no need to get all defensive for other Scottish people being fannies
I didn’t call them fannies for having their own dialect, but you did. That’s something for me to be disproportionally cross about!
Jay is a corvidae to me
I was thinking of something else.
When I lived in Wolverhampton, I was often taken for Scottish and sometimes this was taken further to outright hostility. Apart from the fact that I was from 60km to the southwest and had a Black Country parent. It was of course having a Scottish education and partner and inevitable usage of certain vocabulary that did for me.
The way some folk say drawring for the word drawing is never heard in Scotland but Simon and the nice pair of knockers Blue Peter presenter must have been a bit middly class and from down sowf somewhere
It's just drawing for me
English spelling - it's a game of guess the vowel and you often end up writing something that is totally unlike the way the word is spoken. I rely on spell checking to spot failed guesses. However there are sneaky obscure homophones out there that will defeat the spell checker. There is so much judgement and snobbery about it too, so if you cannot get it right 100% your life can be made very difficult.
The way some folk say drawring for the word drawing is never heard in Scotland but Simon and the nice pair of knockers Blue Peter presenter must have been a bit middly class and from down sowf somewhere
It’s just drawing for me
Conversely, the way people write 'draw' when it should be 'drawer'
The fact I was trying to do a good turn and now I'm going to end up in TK maxx on a Saturday afternoon. I predict grumpiness in the near future.
Oh and somehow I've messed up the curry recipe so it tastes a bit flaccid
Close the door and drift away
Into a sea of uncertainty
Where all your hopes and dreams
Have faded out of reach.
Remember all the bad dreams
Are not far from reality
Would you write again for me?
Microsoft Word and its ‘kin pita method you have to follow to make the occasional page in a document be landscape orientated.
The fake reductions on SportPursuit’s own-brand items. I shouldn’t care; I’m obviously not going to buy any of them. They still annoy me though.
All those mouth-breathing dawdlers who wilfully refuse to apply Highway Code rule 2 on the urban and suburban paths I walk, run, and cycle on. It’s almost impossible to travel correctly and predictably along any path with them. Perhaps our new Labour government could instruct England’s schools to take a break from exploring the finer details of the fetid depths of Michael Gove’s fundament to give an occasional refresher on how to ****ing walk in public.
People who use the word 'oriented' when they mean 'orientated' (this is certainly not directed at the post 3 above, where the correct word is in use. That just reminded me of the irritants)
Anyone else deeply curious as to what a flaccid curry might taste like?
I like curry - whatever that might taste like I'm pretty sure I don't want it anywhere near me!
Anyone else deeply curious as to what a flaccid curry might taste like?
Not sure, but a closely related situation would have been a Major problem
Has anyone mentioned maps that when you zoom in the features get bigger but the text doesn't? As I get older this is a growing source of frustration.
Driving an hour each way to collect a bargain eBay purchase of a nice Technics HD560 stereo and speakers, securing it in the car for the journey, only to drop it on the floor whilst trying to open my front door..... is what I've done this evening!
(two broken side panels and a speaker grill damaged - but it still works!)
It'll be deployed in the shed once I move home.
This is plastic glitter confetti. A neighbour had a party and thew this plastic rubbish, littering the pavement. Muggins here gets the brush and shovel to sweep it up, before it ends up in the grid and water course. Arrgghh.
That would make me cross too Bunnyhop. The same kind of people who release balloons into the sky without a thought as to where they will end up.
I was disproportionately cross about the driver in Milton Keynes with their rear fog lights on this morning. It wasn't foggy, there was the lightest of mists. And there's no need to have them on in town anyway.
EDIT - I am aware that Milton Keynes is a city these days
Sultanas with the stalks still on.
Drivers sat with their foot on the brake pedal for extended periods when parked up. FFS put it in park or put the handbrake on or something! I’ve no idea if you’re about to drive off or be there another 15 minutes. Best one was the bloke sat with his foot on the brake AND in reverse while stationary the entire time I was in the local supermarket. F me man.
Sultanas with the stalks still on.
Yep, can agree with this wholeheartedly
I've another cold. Granted I work in GP surgeries - the very next best thing to children attending a nursery for passing infections but seriously? It's only Nov, it's going to be a long winter season if its going to carry on like this.
Also: recently installed bike lanes where I live, should be a "yay" but in reality, they're now just the lane that any old tit uses, going in any direction they feel like regardless which side of the road they're on and what vehicle they're using.
Anyone else deeply curious as to what a flaccid curry might taste like?
A korma without the coconut.