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Having Nigel Farage pop up on my Facebook feed, and only being able to snooze the **** for thirty days.
Where is the option to ratchet strap him to my bonnet, wrap him in raw steak and drive through a safari park lion enclosure?
Where is the option to ratchet strap him to my bonnet, wrap him in raw steak and drive through a safari park lion enclosure?
South African Facebook?
When the dog runs into the back of your legs sending you over like a skittle first thing in the morning. Especially when it curtails riding plans for the day and it's lovely and sunny.
Speaking of ATMs, some of them are really slow between people. Infuriating.
Especially the Halifax one for paying in, good grief. Card comes out, next person walks up, has to stand there about 10 minutes for the machine to stop thinking and be ready to accept the next card.
And the one at the local Asda with the slightly broken card slot, which spits out your card at snail pace. Standing there watching it inch its way back out of the slot bit by bit with a grinding noise until there's enough to grab hold and pull is enough to make you scream.
I think that's just ASDA cashpoints, the one local to me is the same.
My wife and her family being seemingly unable to manage to set up a three way video call. They've been doing this every week for 2.5 years and every week my mother-in-law somehow screws it up. Neither of the daughters seem to be able to just do it in her place.
I just don't understand, I manage to use Teams/Zoom/Meet multiple times each day at work with no problems. Doesn't directly affect me, it's just incredibly frustrating.
or we all unwittingly live in the same place, because it’s the same at my local Asda too.
Do they have those green sticky-out bits on the card slot too, which make it really $%^&ing awkward if you're left-handed?
Being unable to set up a three way with my wife also makes me disproportionately cross….video or no video
Barriers at the station - especially the ones where the computer says no. (Return from Dunblane always was an issue at Waverley and I often had to get moving to get the onward train). It was great when they were taken out in the 1980s.
Making an offer on ebay, I accept, and THEN you start asking questions about the item to see if you actually want it. No mate, you've actually already bought it, now pay up you low feedback count chancer.
Hiya,
Guys with Noise Cancelling earphones, that walk in the middle of cycle paths, and don't hear my bicycle bell. Then when you finally get past them, they look at you as if you have the problem...
JeZ
Tesla and Range Rover headlights.
Them folk who dig out a crusty old bed sheet, spray paint 'happy 40th Dave' on it, go to the local pedestrian flyover, attach it to the railings.... then don't bother to take it down after Dave has had the birthday of his life.
Also see any signs/banners for events or festivals that are still up months after the event.
You made the effort to put them up, make the bloody effort to take them down again!
oh and after riding the Downs Link yesterday, folks that look at you like you have sodomized their gerbil, just because you would like 1/10th of the SHARED path for you to cycle past them on (at a sensible and civil pace, after shedding 95% of your speed, cos you know, you aint a dick).
Cops are the worst for it
Fat cops who look like they've dressed in the dark in clothes that are either 3-4 sizes too small for their giant lardy arses or shapeless sacks that are creased and make them look like bin men/women. I mean, I know that modern cops uniforms are all about the utility these days, but getting trousers that fit you (even if you're 5'6" and close on 18 stone) shouldn't be that hard, surely? There goes the 'majesty of the law' hitching up its strides as they waddle betwixt car to Greggs with barely a glance for anything but pastie
Being unable to set up a three way with my wife also makes me disproportionately cross….video or no video
I'm sure it won't be too difficult to find an accommodating guy to help with that.
Screaming kids on aeroplanes and parents who can't control said kids.
Screaming kids on aeroplanes and parents who can’t control said kids.
Don't have kids, eh?
Well being a parent I can tell you that A) we enjoy this situation just as much as you do, but with added embarrassment and B) "controlling" a screaming child who is in a strange situation making them overexcited, overtired, nervous or scared (or all at once) is just as easy as refraining from hitting the insufferable bar steward 2 seats over who is tutting and sighing and rolling their eyes.
There, that's my disproportionate anger for the day out of the way 🙂
Some adverts have been getting to me.
1. Nissan electric car ones! "Who said excitement isn't the new progression to living gracefully?" - "Who said electricalness wasn't the best thing since sliced facial features?" - "Who said money doesn't grow out of bees anuses?" - NO-one! NobODY Ever said any of THSOE ****ING THIngs!! SHUT UP!
2. Welsh throbber advertising some comparison site. Trying to turn the annoying git into a celebrity. Please go away
3. LG fridge... please tell me nobody on earth has ever needed a fridge that lights up so they can stare inside without opening the bloody door!
there are more but I'm too annoyed to think of them
Nissan electric car ones! “Who said excitement isn’t the new progression to living gracefully?” – “Who said electricalness wasn’t the best thing since sliced facial features?” – “Who said money doesn’t grow out of bees anuses?” – NO-one! NobODY Ever said any of THSOE **** THIngs!! SHUT UP!
...And there's today's post giving me a hernia trying not to laugh at work 🤣
3. LG fridge… please tell me nobody on earth has ever needed a fridge that lights up so they can stare inside without opening the bloody door!
Scratches magic door fridge off list of "things to buy when I've won the lottery..." 😬
Don’t have kids, eh?
Good advice.
please tell me nobody on earth has ever needed a fridge that lights up so they can stare inside without opening the bloody door!
Disproportionately crossmaking: people in supermarkets who open glass freezer doors in order to look what's inside.
Donating blood. I love the NHS but why does evrry donation session have to involve Classic Hits FM at 500 decibels so you can't hear anything the staff say and there are ads every 30 seconds? The music these days is just noise, you can't hear the words etc etc...
Myself for not being able to understand why people don't answer the questions you ask them when they have asked for help to debug a problem. I often ask questions to eliminate what the cause isn't but that is clearly confusing so they tell me something else instead. Drives me mad but it's not their fault
Donating blood. I love the NHS but why does evrry donation session have to involve Classic Hits FM at 500 decibels so you can’t hear anything the staff say and there are ads every 30 seconds? The music these days is just noise, you can’t hear the words etc etc…
I doubt I'll bother again after my last visit, it was like the Spanish inquisition...
What blood type is it?
Who's blood is it?
Why is it in a bucket?
I see what you did there. But the clue is in the name 'god'father.
I cremated my mum recently. (Well, not personally.) Any bloke in a frock present would have been a lifestyle choice. These ceremonies are what people choose.
I see what you did there. But the clue is in the name ‘god’father.
I think many people, especially 50 years ago, perhaps nominated people close to them but unrelated, more out of recognition of that closeness and a sense of tradition, rather than devout faith in a deity. My parents have never been religious but myself and my two siblings all had godfathers/mothers.
Kind of like picking a best man, but for your baby, and someone who might stand a chance of being responsible should the worst happen.
These ceremonies are what people choose.
Indeed, I fully respect that, and that is my proportionate side.
My disproportionate side however, would much rather just hear about his life without the frequent plugging of the big man.
@ossify,We made sure our
kids were old enough to understand that they were going on a completely new experience before we took them on an airplane and that they would have to sit in one place for a few hours. But then if you want to drag young kids on a plane before they are ready so you can have a holiday that's up to you
the frequent plugging of the big man.
... or woman.
@sargey, we took our son on a plane at six months so that his grandmother could meet him before dementia took too great a hold of her, not exactly a holiday.
I have a pretty special photo of my oldest kid aged nine months, being held by his great grandma the only time she met him. The biggest smile on her face. 24 hours of flight time to enable that one meeting.
Couldn't give a **** what anyone else on the plane thought.
I think something has disproportionately irked reeksy 😛
People who complain about young children on a flight. If you want peace and quiet while flying you should have worked harder and taken your corporate jet. It's public transport FFS.
4 way temporary traffic lights with about a ten minute cycle on the way to drop the car off for an MOT this morning. <br /> <br />what’s worse is I know I’ll have to go back through them later to get the car from that industrial estate.
Drivers speeding
Drivers parking their vehicle on the pavement.
Hmm, two for the price of one
Oh and "cyclists dismount" signs on cycleroutes. WTF - they have no legal standing at all and are a sign of a badly designed cycle route
Screaming kids on aeroplanes and parents who can’t control said kids
Kids cry and are annoying. You were a kid once. You cried and annoyed people once. Soon you'll be dead. Circle of life, mate. Get over it
People who complain about young children on a flight. If you want peace and quiet while flying you should have worked harder and taken your corporate jet. It’s public transport FFS.
i cant remember exactly where it was, some internal flight in the US. i got sat next to a mother with two small children, one on her lap, one in the seat next to me. it was a full flight.
once everyone has boarded, she asked me very nicely if I'd mind swapping with her husband, who was sat on his own, much further up the plane. she thought I was a charming english gentleman for agreeing, he looked proper pissed off when I tapped him on the shoulder and told him. I think he'd booked a seperate seat deliberately...
🤣 Oh, I do hope so.
People who complain about young children on a flight. If you want peace and quiet while flying you should have worked harder and taken your corporate jet. It’s public transport FFS.
I'll remember that next time I'm halfway over the Atlantic, when I blaze up a joint and drop some phat beatz at full volume on my phone.
Drivers speeding
Drivers parking their vehicle on the pavement.
Hmm, two for the price of one
Speeding whilst parked is impressive. Does the limit say "reverse only"? 😁