Forum menu
People who drive in the right lane on a dual carriageway when the left lane is clear and don't move out of the lane when you come up behind them.
They must be taking screaming kids on an airplane as it can't be a coincidence can it?
People who walk up to a pelican crossing and press the button without checking if it’s actually clear to cross without using the traffic management lights. They then realise it’s clear, cross the road only for the lights to turn green for them, red for the traffic after they’ve long gone forcing the traffic to stop with no one crossing.
Karens who put their push chairs into the road when trying to stop traffic... it's you bloody child for god's sakes!
Being issued a Lenovo laptop where the power LED is built into the centre of the power button, but you can't see what the light is doing when you're pressing the button to switch off/on/reset, and the light status (on / off / pulsing / flashing three times) makes a difference to what you do, so you have to get a narrow poking stick to hold down the button instead of your finger 😠
People who don't push the button at pelican crossings because they'll have already crossed by the time it the delayed light change happens. Use it or lose it.
People who have gone around and defaced all the new 20mph speed limit signs in my city by spraying them black
People overtaking cars abiding by said 20mph limits
People who see a zebra crossing and instead of stopping for the pedestrian, beep their horn and accelerate
Yes I live in a 20mph near a zebra crossing.....
Anyone who describes themselves as a 'patriot'. Even worse if they're wearing a football shirts whilst doing it and/or chucking out some racists symbology or chants.
Melamine-faced chipboard 😡
What a dick.
People who have music speakers playing stuff whilst out walking or riding - no one else wants to listen to your taste in death metal whilst the rest of us are trying enjoying the country side.
Use of the word "apartment" to describe a dwelling in the UK. It's a flat. Flats can be lovely and flat is a perfectly good word, no need to use an Americanism you mouth breathing property developer / estate agent.
Americanisms seeping into 'our' English is generally something than makes me disproportionately cross. For some reason another one that is totally pathetic but really sets me off is use of tux/tuxedo in place of dinner jacket / dinner suit.
Maybe my Northern is showing, but today is the first day of my life I've ever heard (well, read) the term "dinner suit."
Insurance companies, banks et al who do not let you manage your policies online if you don't have a 'bank' account with them. Idiots.
Melamine Faced-Chipboard used to be the captain of our cricket team, absolute ledge, we used to call him Melly Chipps, and then once he shat in q kebab shop so everyone called him Smelly Chipps. Moved out to Abu Dhabi a couple of years ago, heard he's Head of Net Zero at the state oil company!
Insurance companies
I got my house insurance renewal through last week. It's gone up 40% for no reason. I thought that shite was illegal now? I rang them up and they unapologetically knocked about £20 off it. Looks like I'll be talking to that **** with the moustache or those bloody wombats again then.
It's seemingly easier to stop an army of 1000 advancing soldiers than it is to stop a printer from printing something mid-print.
The op: “not big stuff”
35 pages later…
Why are the streetlights angled over the cars?
Is the council trying to prevent peoples pet cats from squanching in the central reservation?
For actual pedestrians, we’ve now got to contend with uneven pavements, leaves, darkness and auto-asphyxiating felines.
Just how lethal/ illegal would it be for the public to twist these lights ninety degrees?
My coworker eats lunch at his desk and apparently can’t chew with his mouth closed.
If I were to be on the jury at your your trail, I'd found you not guilty.
I berated a pair of (petrol) scooter riders after arriving at the advanced cycle box with my seven year old on her bike, finding they hadn't left enough space for us to pull into to wait to perform our right turn at the junction. ****s.
Traditional sugary doughnuts?
All that I find in the supermarkets and greggs are the jam or custard filled variety.
A bit ott and messy, tbh.
I still find the old skool versions in McDonald’s.
But they’re overpriced and not particularly fresh.
If I was a cop. Oh Lordy!
For actual pedestrians, we’ve now got to contend with uneven pavements, leaves, darkness and auto-asphyxiating felines.
Round this way people park their cars on the footpath to help prevent pedestrian injury.
#not sharing is caring
Dinner Suit is the correct UK term, Tuxedo is very much from the ol’ U.S of A
Probably been done, but people who ignore important emails. Specifically colleagues at work, and mums on the gymnastics chat group. Gym finishes Wednesday and restarts 4th January. As per all the many emails, WhatsApp posts and announcements at the Christmas shows....
sorry, does anyone know if gymnastic club is on this week?
Drivers at traffic lights, congestion, junctions etc who haven't the first clue how to use a handbrake, thus blinding the driver behind with their brake lights. Usually brighter-than-the-sun LEDs and always at night. No, wait. They do have the first clue, however, because they are selfish tossers they choose to not use said handbrake.
sorry, does anyone know if gymnastic club is on this week?
Every day, right through Christmas and New Year. Make the 10 mile journey and someone will be there to let you in.
The fact that you can't get a decent bacon roll and a decent cappuccino in the same place. You can get a decent bacon roll but some 2000 degree shite from powder, or you can get a decent coffee but some messed-about with bacon and mushroom open sandwich brioche nonsense.
Surely a bacon sarnie needs a mug of tea though? Greasy spoon has that covered.
Poncy coffee and a bacon banjo just doesn't feel right
If you think a cappuccino is "poncy" you must think the M6 J42 McCafe is some kind of palace!
The fact that you can’t get a decent bacon roll and a decent cappuccino in the same place.
Can think of 4-5 places that meet your requirements within a 10 mile radius. You need to relocate to Ilkeston, of all places.
I'm genuinely getting my blood up to a nice rolling boil every time I drop my kids off at school, and some lazy idling SUV mum or dad just parks up on teh double-yellow lined corner, or on teh zig zags outside the school gates.<br />****ing idiots...
I'm actually going to buy a bunch of free standing signs - partly for the school, partly because a few hundred quid is worth it to prevent me going to jail for smashing up a windscreen and slashing tyres...
<br />DrP
Some folk doing their weekly shopping at a petrol station or getting a coffee but struggle to operate the machine whilst taking up a fuel pump space. Then the tossers that squeeze past rather than wait another minute or two but can't park their motor closer to the pump and then blocking the exit out
some lazy idling SUV mum or dad just parks up on teh double-yellow lined corner, or on teh zig zags outside the school gates.**** idiots…
I don't know where you live but my local police force will prosecute zigzag parkers if you provide video or photo evidence. You just upload it to the website. Helps if the photos are 1-2 minutes apart or if there is 1-2 minutes of footage. No special equipment (or window smashing) required.
Also, my local community policing team and council have been really good about sending out officers to patrol/ticket at problem times - esp if the school asks.
(If you want a school to do something, you have to help them by giving them the info and prepping the email for them - there's no point in just saying "can't someone do something about this?")
Dinner Suit is the correct UK term, Tuxedo is very much from the ol’ U.S of A
I thought a dinner suit encompassed more than a tuxedo - a tuxedo being one type of dinner suit
Probably been done, but people who ignore important emails.
Similarly,
Self-important multi-channel messagers. They'll email you, then a minute later you'll get a text going "did you get my email?" Two minutes after that the phone will ring with them going "just wondering if you've got my message" whilst you're halfway through typing a response.
There's a few of us who might like to vent on the "Shite Parking Watch UK" FB group.
Recent special cases have been cars blocking the pavement displaying "I need 2m for my wheelchair" stickers, and a spate of driving instructors posting pics of students who have passed their test, in front of a car that is across 2 spaces, or parked in the road 4 foot from the double yellow lines....
being severely colour blind but still ( after 27 yrs together) being asked for my opinion on :
1. potential new colour schemes in the house
2. *cushion / *rug / *lampshade / *curtain combos ( *delete as appropriate)
- only for them to be rubbished . Again
Love her dearly though.
You don't need to be colourblind for that. In my house I now ask for clarification - do you actually want my opinion, or do you want me to guess which one you like (and if so why can't you just tell me and avoid the risk of me guessing wrong and being in the dog house as a result)
fazziniFull Member
Drivers at traffic lights, congestion, junctions etc who haven’t the first clue how to use a handbrake, thus blinding the driver behind with their brake lights. Usually brighter-than-the-sun LEDs and always at night. No, wait. They do have the first clue, however, because they are selfish tossers they choose to not use said handbrake.
you do realise that many if not the majority of new cars with some form of auto hold braking will always do this at lights ? Ours both do, seems pretty standard now.
you do realise that many if not the majority of new cars with some form of auto hold braking will always do this at lights ? Ours both do, seems pretty standard now.
I do. Doesn't make it right. I noticed this on my Passat. Nothing to stop you engaging the actual parking brake button, however, which removes this issue. 😉
Nothing to stop you engaging the actual parking brake button, however, which removes this issue.
Indeed. My approach is often to pull up a little way behind them and 'accidentally-on-purpose' hit the full-beam stalk when I put my handbrake on. It rarely gets the result I want, but I feel I've at least tried.
you do realise that many if not the majority of new cars with some form of auto hold braking will always do this at lights ? Ours both do, seems pretty standard now.
On autohold - if I put the actual handbrake on (electric) my brake lights go out.
^^ if I put mine (also electric) from auto hold, which is does itself, to P by moving the selector, the lights will go out, but why would I, when the car is safely secure and ready to drive of by just pressing the pedal - that's what auto brake is there for surely ?
if I put mine (also electric) from auto hold, which is does itself, to P by moving the selector, the lights will go out,
Your car is obviously waaayyy too posh then 😉 (only kidding) no need to move lever to 'P' just pull up on the little parking brake paddle/switch/thingemejig and Bob's your auntie's live in lover 🙂
While there's a small amount of amusement to be gained from observing the inability of millennials to sit down at a cushy desk job all day without their special metal water bottle to keep hydrated with little dainty sips (no tea - something about carbon footprints, colonialist capitalism or toxins), but there's a dark side too - that ghastly hollow metallic noise they make as they weakly hold it up to their face, and out of breath from the exertion, they exhale as they take on more organic H2O, producing that irritating noise.
Airports.
Or more specifically, the people who have not realised they need to check in online, who wait until they get to the security desk before unloading liquids, lighters and all manner of other random crap, who wait until they get to the scanner before fumbling around for their passport ("but I know I gave it to you, you're looking after the kids ones....") and generally seem utterly unable to function.
Apparently the big notices everywhere saying "please have your boarding pass ready" only apply to other people...
Guess where I am right now.... 🙄
Your car is obviously waaayyy too posh then 😉 (only kidding) no need to move lever to ‘P’ just pull up on the little parking brake paddle/switch/thingemejig and Bob’s your auntie’s live in lover 🙂
What little parking brake paddle/switch/thingemejig?
FWIW I used to rail against brake lights being on whilst stationary, then I decided life was too short and I was just going to drive the car how it was designed. My last three cars haven’t even had handbrake paddle/switch/thingemejigs. You use the foot brake to put it in hold, which puts on the ‘handbrake’, and either press the accelerator to go which takes it off, or press the park button to put it in park, or just get out the car and it does it for you.
That’s not a parking brake. That’s to put the gearbox (not that it has one) in park. All the brakes have been put on by the car before you press that. Really it doesn’t even need that button, because as soon as you open the door or lift your arse off the seat, it does the same thing.
I will usually put my (electronic) parking brake on when stopped at lights. I havent actually checked the brake lights go out...
Means I ca npull away just by pressing the accelerator. Unlike using the shifter (or a button) to go into P, as that generally requires you to put your foot back on the brake pedal to get it back in D.*
Unwillingly I have an automatic now, I guess this is why the majority of people are now just sitting on the brake pedal. While I like the automatic as a whole, it is most annoying in slow/stop start traffic. I would actually prefer a manual in these situations.
*even worse on cars that have the traditional PRNDL layout, going from P to D takes you through R, briefly flashing the reversing lights. Not conducive to the the car(s) behind you moving off efficiently when the lights go green.
Nissan Jukes.
yes, but also "crossover" / mini SUVs of all kinds.
Customer has just gone full gammon on me after turning up for a job that last week I said I'd try my best to do this side Christmas but it would more likely be the new year. Didn't phone before hand to see how I was going, just rocked-up expected them to be ready.
He seems to have forgotten the conversation and suddenly it's vital he must have them today. If it wasn't Christmas...
People not accelerating up to a reasonable speed on motorway slip roads, 30-40mph is not a safe speed to merge onto a motorway ffs! <br />And now you’ve got me stuck behind you, forced to merge at the same speed! 🤬🤬
While we are on that - people who slow for motorway junctions before they are off the main carriageway.
Can I also add people who abandon shopping trolley across an aisle, rather than tucking it to one side, while they peruse for which cheese they are to buy.
Doing someone's shed guttering for them and believing them when they say they've got all the bits.
Guttering. More standards than mountainbiking 😭
Can I also add people who abandon shopping trolley across an aisle, rather than tucking it to one side, while they peruse for which cheese they are to buy.
I hope there is a special place in hell for these people.
Can I also add people who abandon shopping trolley across an aisle, rather than tucking it to one side, while they peruse for which cheese they are to buy.
Surely it’s not just me that simply moves said trolleys? Ideally to the next isle if I can get away with the person not noticing.
Half the parents at the primary school I work at!
And people who say "for free". Have I mentioned that yet? I'll do it again anyway.
A million stickies at the top of a forum taking up more than a full page of space. Just stop it.
Ideally to the next isle if I can get away with the person not noticing.
I fully approve of this idea, and the typo. Isle of Wight would work in a lot of cases.
people who slow for motorway junctions before they are off the main carriageway.
People dribbling onto the motorway from the slip road at sub30 mph...But currently; just driving standards in general. The amount of folks "sneaking" through red lights has reached epidemic levels.
People not accelerating up to a reasonable speed on motorway slip roads, 30-40mph is not a safe speed to merge onto a motorway ffs!
100%. However,
And now you’ve got me stuck behind you, forced to merge at the same speed! 🤬
Only if you buy into their idiocy. Drop back, stop if you have to, give yourself clearance to step on it and merge at a relative speed.
People who creep at junctions
When you're on a motorbike especially, and somebody waiting to pull out creeps forwards slowly, preempting your passing, it's effin scary as of course you think they might suddenly lurch out having not seen you.
Just stay the f still!
Also, on the motorbike, as I was just on mine. People who think that two motorbikes are always together.
I was just following another bike towards a junction, the bike guy indicates to turn left and starts doing so. I'm heading straight on. The car waiting in the junction starts pulling out.
Two bikes. They've gotta be together right?
No you twonk. Wait.
Being banned from websites with no explanation or remembered bad behaviour. (not here, I must emphasise)
Drive Thru instead of Drive Through.
When you start renovating your house and some of your plans go to shit because the previous owners either bodged their DIY or hired traders wearing Stetsons.
Good job we watched enough Grand Designs to ensure our budget has a f🤬🤬🤬ery margin built in.
Good job we watched enough Grand Designs to ensure our budget has a f🤬🤬🤬ery margin built in.
Only question is - which one of you is now carrying Kevin's baby.
Food labelling madness.
Sweetcorn. From the cob . N S S . Where else is sweetcorn going to come from ?
Or the pre emptive descriptive . Tasty , flavoursome, hand prepared. That is up to me to decide if the " amazing fish cakes" really are amazing , or run of the mill Pollock with too much potatoe binder.
People who take After Eights straight out, leaving the little sleeve in the box
A post-Christmas classic !
Sys-admins who ask what browser you’re using when you’re having problems then laugh at you for choosing the wrong browser.
People who spell potato potatoe