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Push plates on doors never seem to be where people push.
Well, the plate is obviously in the wrong place then. Does the workshop employ small children?
TBH, post-covid I actively avoid high-traffic handles; like, coming out of the toilets I'll use the very top or very bottom of a door bar-handle where someone is less likely to have had their paws than the middle. There's little point in me washing my hands just to stick them straight into someone else's piss.
the fact that my phone cant track our flights on google maps like i see other people do.
look over at other people, they have the blue dot over croatia or whatever, i look at mine and nothing. it has location/GPS switched on but nope. i ask them how theyve got the blue dot, they just say it appears automatically. annoyingly last year it appeared on both mine and my wifes maps, just for one flight, so its capable, but nothing since.
tried airplane mode on and off, checked location is on, yep, but....... nothing.
disproportionately cross 😡
I have a GPS watch but I only use it when exercising, and have most of the notification stuff disabled.
I'm helping a mate test a smart-watch app and he's leant me a Samsung watch to use for it. How people wear smart watches without hurling them into the sun, I'll never know.
I'm sure there's settings I can adjust to change how chatty it is, but I'm stunned at how needy it is
- Ooo you've been walking for 10mins, who's a good boy
- Your mate just sent you a message
- You've done 3000 steps today!
- You've just ridden your bike for 3mins, well done!
- You slept for x hours last night.
- Would you like me to save that 3min bike ride for you?
- Your mate's sent another one!
- Shouldn't you get up and move about a bit
- Can you put me on charge please?
It's been like having Clippy attached to my wrist!
People (i.e. neighbours) who park on the grass verge - their whole car, its a wide verge - when there is space to park cars on both side of the road, and still get a bus through the middle. I assume they are (disproportionally) concerned about someone smacking a wing mirror on their way past but totally unconcerned about preserving the small patch of grass and underlying tree roots outside their house. Boils my wee.
Rushing to leave the house as my train is on time, getting to the station 10 minutes later to find its now running 16 minutes late.
And the young lady waiting on the platform next to me - smart professional from the ankles up, but wearing white Crocs.
Well, the plate is obviously in the wrong place then. Does the workshop employ small children?
Don't shoot the messenger 😉
People parking half a cars length from the end on an on street parking zone, either leave enough space for another car or park right up to the end you thoughtless knobs.
The cost of everything in there, you'd think they'd give you the other hair of the bag ffs!
Natwest. Has a Xsolla purchase on my CC. Nothing to do with me so declined it in the app and received all the red warning text and klaxon saying "if you think this is a fraud report it" so spent 5 minutes with the AI slop app Cora who is even more stupid than most of these apps, then got sent to login to natwest on line because you can't report fraud from the app, then got directed to a number which is mostly an ACD telling you to go away and use the app because "they are experiencing a high volume of calls"*
After that and entering various security details through the keypad, we get a message saying "we are doing an upgrade and can't answer any calls" followed by dial tone.
I'm not angry. not really. Just disappointed. Freeze card, go through the same sequence tomorrow. I mean it's a £19.99 charge I declined but if someone had just been scammed for thousands and had that experience you wouldn't be sleeping so well!
*or I suspect they outsourced most of this stuff off shore, cut CS to the bone and pretended their on line rubbish would take up the strain.
Extravagant, wasteful and inappropriate use of kitchen roll. And not the cheap & cheerful stuff either, but the pricey stuff they keep advertising on telly.
- a sheet folded up under a teacup, to catch drips ("cos I hate drips")
- a sheet to dry the worktop after wiping it down with a wet cloth ("cos I hate smears")
- a sheet to dry the sink and drainer after wiping it ("cos I hate drips and puddles of water")
To be fair, the last two have been less of an issue recently, as we now have a teatowel dedicated to wiping worktop, table, drainer etc. But every time I hear the rip of kitchen roll perforation, I wince
because "they are experiencing a high volume of calls"*
The one that grips my shit is "we're experiencing an unusually high volume of calls..." You're not, are you.
Extravagant, wasteful and inappropriate use of kitchen roll. And not the cheap & cheerful stuff either, but the pricey stuff they keep advertising on telly.
I've started buying whatever's cheapest in the supermarket for exactly this reason. The expensive stuff is the same size roll so if the sheets are twice as thick then there's half as many of them. (With apologies to actual maths, I know this is wrong because Circles.)
Anyway. My DC for today: buying shit we already have because she "doesn't have time" to go looking for things. Or indeed seemingly the time to ask me where something is; whilst my immediate short-term memory is shot to the point of probably being ADHD I have a near-photographic positional memory. If she's been cooking I can tell which herbs/spices she's used because they've moved. Someone asked me the other day what my first PC was so I went and got the receipt (from 1993) and scanned it in, I didn't need to go looking for it because I knew precisely where it was.
There are, that I'm aware of, nineteen toothbrushes in this house. Granted, two I use for general cleaning rather than for brushing teeth, and there are three kids she looks after during the week, but that's still 17 brushes for five mouths.
'Can I get', assuming it's not already here. No, you cannot get. The barman can get, the waitress can get. You don't work here. You can have, and the staff will get it for you.
people who suck any left over food/crumbs off their fingers. With real vigour. Then end up with spitty fingers. So they wipe them on their trousers. Who taught you this? Morons.
And people that eat and the fork or spoon clatter into their teeth as they close their mouth around the food. What is that all about? Why are you making excess eating noises. Morons.
The steady stream of (spam) emails telling me I need to visit Alabama.
Oh,an the amount of hair I found with my baguette
😉
Similar to the toothbrushes above. In our house, it's towels. A couple of weeks back, she brought some washing in from drying outside,to leave in the airing cupboard for a while. "I can never find space in this airing cupboard to hang stuff up, or put it on the shelves"
Well, if we didn't have a huuuge fleecy throw, 5 bath sheets, 7 normal sized bath towels, 5 hand towels, 7 sets of duvet covers/sheets/pillow cases, 6 face flannels in there. Plus whatever all that is on the top shelf... between two of us... then maybe I could have some sympathy.
Radio stations playing Friday I'm in Love by The Cure...on a Friday.
Way too obvious, not to mention that it's easily one of their weakest ever songs (Friday afternoon job?) and therefore one of their most commercially successful.
Yes, I am a music snob.
- People who walk along busy corridors starting at their phone (especially in uniform so you should at least maintain a look of professionalism)
- People who walk along corridors side by side who refuse to move into single file when said corridor is very busy, or a member of staff is pushing a large item towards them in the opposite direction
- People who stop suddenly on very busy corridors, engage in conversation and do not move to the side of the corridor, literally standing in the middle whilst a queue of people forms, waiting to move around them
- People who walk out of adjoining corridors onto a main corridor at full speed without looking in either direction first to see if anyone is there
- People who saunter out of adjoining corridors whilst staring at their phones, completely unaware of anyone else around them
- Myself, for expecting everyone else to follow my arbitrary rules whilst a I walk quite fast down a busy corridor (it's very long and I don't get an unlimited break time!)
- Oh, and people who put cool bags in the bloody fridge in the staff room
It's a point of pedantry really. "Can I have" suggests asking if it's possible, to which the answer is "yes" unless they're out of stock.
I suppose the technically correct phrasing should be something like "will you get me a..." but weirdly that sounds a bit cheeky.
Language, hey.
Language, hey.
🙂
"I should like to purchase a pint of your finest blonde ale, Bar keep! Prey do tell if you are out of stock, so that I may peruse your other offerings in the hope of finding a suitable alternative?"
Doesn't quite roll off the tounge as well as "pint of the blonde, cheers mate"
The new iphone 8766 with 8 ex zoom . No mr hipster radio ad trend setting binary human . It is an 8 times zoom . Not some new fangled 8 ex zoom , like the script in your dumbed down for the masses radio advert states.
The new iphone 8766 with 8 ex zoom . No mr hipster radio ad trend setting binary human . It is an 8 times zoom . Not some new fangled 8 ex zoom , like the script in your dumbed down for the masses radio advert states.
Took me a few goes to work out what the hell you were on about, but I think you're against people saying the "x" in, e.g. 8x zoom, as "ex" rather than "times", and I've noticed this recently too and felt disproportionately cross about it.
'Can I get', assuming it's not already here. No, you cannot get. The barman can get, the waitress can get. You don't work here. You can have, and the staff will get it for you.
I also find this very irritating. However, a year or two ago, whilst feeling irritated about this, I realised something worse. It's totally normal (isn't it?) for people to say something like "I got a new bike for my birthday!"
Is that really so different? Nobody asks "what gifts did you receive for Christmas?"
So now I'm irritated by the hypocrisy of my own arbitrary lines in the sand around language. I find the best way out to be listening to Stephen Fry's take on linguistic pedantry:
So now I'm irritated by the hypocrisy of my own arbitrary lines in the sand around language.
The trick is not to think too much about it, at the end of the day language is a means of comunication, so with a degree of empathy and politeness, it doesn't really matter what you say, as long as you are understood.
Language is also constantly evolving, it's not a static construct, we can argue for better or worse, and I agree some standards need to be maintained, or it would be chaos, but if we go down a rabbit hole of correct use of apostrphes, etc. are we mising the point?
Car insurance. Annoys me every year; massive increase, ring them, "We have a campaign running this month and can reduce that amount". Why didn't you apply it on the renewal quote then!
Increase mileage by 1000 (25%) = £2 extra, less than 1% of premium
Increase excess by £100, no difference. I won't be bothering with that
Opaque time-wasting nonsense
Dragged myself to the dentist to replace a damaged filling. Was dreading it as always. In my mind it was going to be a good 3 chapters* in the chair suffering Running Man type scenarios all while staring into a harsh white light.
New dentist tho must earn twice a much as his colleagues. He works at a speed I’m not accustomed to when expecting 30 mins or so of solid unpleasantness. 😉 He did start off with “how are you” to which I replied “not great, not a fan of high speed drills especially near my face” to which he replied “you can leave it a month and we’ll just extract the whole tooth if you’d prefer”. Got to respect that kind of bedside manner.
10 mins from handshake to being gently steered out of the building via a punch in the wallet. Didn't even hurt. I'd properly physc'd myself up for it as well. What a waste of worrying.
*I really hate the dentist so I try and recite the best bits of my favourite books as a distraction tactic.
Car insurance
I just fire up QuidCo, take the cheapest quote that meets my requirements and trouser the £45 introduction fee Quidco pays out. I don't see any value add in any particular company and they mostly are just fronts for the same underwriters. Last four years I've gone Hastings, AA, Admiral, RAC. Not had to claim but that's just going to be rubbish whoever you're with.
That when people ask for tyres they say Mitcha-Lin but when they ask for Gordon Ramsey they say Meesh-Lan.
And don't get me started on people who say Double Entendre as Doo-ble Entendre, unless they're actually French like.
yeah car insurance, I have a clean licence for 25 years when some pillock parks behind me so he can get a dent, £375 for damage and lose 4yrs no claims bonus. That alone has cost more than 375.
it was £600 last year, so renewal is £700. How mental does it have to get? So i took the cheapest quote at £500, when i tried to contact my old insurers darwin(?) for a better deal i couildnt get through anyway
Houseplants- if you dont water them, they die, but if you water them they grow too big for the house, unless theyre succulents, in which case they turn brown and die anyway
People that complain constantly about things. Then when you try to help them out by explaining whos really taken their cookies, they just keep ranting and dont let you get a word in
Car insurance. Annoys me every year; massive increase, ring them, "We have a campaign running this month and can reduce that amount". Why didn't you apply it on the renewal quote then!
Increase mileage by 1000 (25%) = £2 extra, less than 1% of premium
Increase excess by £100, no difference. I won't be bothering with that
Opaque time-wasting nonsense
Back in the day, I had a H-reg 1.3 Mk2 Golf. My girlfriend at the time had a G-reg 1.3 Mk2 Golf. They were both insured with the same company, mine cost £400 (cos I was a young driver, and therefore reckless), hers cost £300 (cos she was a female driver, and therefore careful). I rang to add her onto mine and they wanted £500 extra, because she was a young driver...
Then, after said girlfriend had become my wife, and then become my ex-wife, I rang to have her removed from my insurance. They said it would put my premium up, so she stayed on it.
Probably get heat for this one, but people who walk their reactive dogs on lead in typically dog off lead areas then get shirty when you can't give them 5 metres of personal space because the path is a narrow singletrack running through sand dunes. Look, I've actually trained my dog to ignore yours dog and keep trotting along giving as much space as possible. Your dog lurching at mine, being reactive and closing the gap whilst you struggle to hold the lead back on a narrow track where you're gonna come across another 6 off lead dogs before you get to the other end ain't my issue, and neither is you being all shirty about it
Sounds like a you problem, walk your dog on the beach instead
In the same breath people with reactive dogs on extension leads that act like you're the problem when they're too in their own little bubble to realise we're near them and to lock the extension
Anyway, two from me today:
Ramming pedal bins into the corner so that when you press the pedal the lid ****s the wall with a loud clang.
Scraping butter from the knife back into the tub. Her home-made blackberry jam is amazing, but I don't really want to dunk it into my tomato soup. Rationing ended some time ago.
Scraping butter from the knife back into the tub. Her home-made blackberry jam is amazing, but I don't really want to dunk it into my tomato soup. Rationing ended some time ago
I have a separate tub for this very reason 😀
I have a separate tub for this very reason
Wouldn't work, unless I hid it. We'd end up with twelve tubs all with half an inch of butter left in them. Our cupboards are rammed like this, the concept of "open something, use it up before opening another" is completely alien. I went on an archaeological dig in the bathroom cupboard looking for something the other day, the first three items I removed were empty boxes.
Which reminds me,
There are, that I'm aware of, nineteen toothbrushes in this house. Granted, two I use for general cleaning rather than for brushing teeth, and there are three kids she looks after during the week, but that's still 17 brushes for five mouths.
We're up to 21, I found two more in the process. To be fair, one of them was an old travel toothbrush of mine bought in an emergency, so we're back to 20 after I binned that.
Not getting my free flu jab. Being asthmatic and over 50, NHS sends me about 10 texts a year reminding me I can go and get a free shot. It's 30 mins away tho and I decided as they've binned off the Flu/Covid BOGOF I wouldn't bother.
What do I have now? Not Covid and if it's just a cold, it's about the worse one I've ever had. Sweats, shivers, fever dreams, raspy cough, aches and snot. All of my internal organs have apparently been reconfigured to produce mucus.
Still probably not worth getting the jab now.
I've popped onto facebook to create a for sale ad in marketplace. Nope, apparently I can only do that in the app now, not through internet browser. I don't want the app, I am perfectly happy the way I was accessing it thank you. Ah well, anyone want a set of roof rails for a VW T5?
I've popped onto facebook to create a for sale ad in marketplace. Nope, apparently I can only do that in the app now,
Seems to still be available for me;
Taken me weeks to find any Russet apples, finally found some at Chatsworth Farm Shop. 59p per apple!
Changed the bedding yesterday. Mrs Shep has a habit of stuffing paper tissues down the gap between the mattress and the headboard. Had previously recovered 17 in one sweep and asked her very nicely not to be so manky. This time I stopped counting at 50 tissues. Murder may be done. In her defence, if they're crammed down there, they ain't disintegrating into a million pieces and cementing themselves to clean clothes in the washing machine, so there is that.
The poster drove into a stationary vehicle and is blaming them for it?
yes I know, but Im sure it wasnt there when I looked, before I backed out of my space