[Closed] Spousal double standards

Two pairs of men's shoes for £40? One pair of ladies shoes for £60?

We live in different worlds.

If you saw some of the places I have to go into you wouldn't buy nice shoes for work 🙂

I am not allowed to up the le creuset pans in the dishwasher and must wash them by hand, but when I am away with work my wife puts them in the dishwasher!

You ask permission to buy clothes?

No. I tell her when I've bought stuff.

Women have hormones,blokes have moods - grumpy/bad.

Never argue with the former,always accept the latter - makes life a lot easier.

Two pairs in different colours and you'd have been on a winner.

[quote=thegreatape ]If you saw some of the places I have to go into you wouldn't buy nice shoes for work

I assumed you were given them at work

None in our house. (I think I must have been very good in a former life 🙂 )

I'm given a pair of wellies JY, but nothing else.

I'll find out Monday when the bike frame arrives if I'm in the same boat.

Good luck piemonster. Have you gone for something the same colour?

Her: You must spend £50 a month on average on bike bits and cycling clothes

Me: About the same as you spend on clothes, shoes and handbags?

Her: That's different.

The other current one while I'm off work is that I've been out for lunch with a few good friends who are making sure I'm not stuck at home feeling miserable. This gets disapproving looks while she tells me she blocked a 2 hour lunch in her work diary to meet a former colleague.

Lol no, hideous garish orange/red.

My justification is I'm getting from fat commuting on the train and not doing any exercise. This backed up by actually getting fat. 😀

Me - I damaged the demo bike so I ended up buying it

Silence - ah yes single life 😉

That's quite a committed strategy for getting a new bike piemonster, not sure it would work here!

And silence, that rings a bell from the dim and distant past.

MCTD - 'It's different' - said as if that somehow justifies the hypocrisy, when it in fact simply confirms it.

'I might enter the Tour de Ben Nevis this year'

'Why pay £50 to do that, you can ride that route any day you want for nothing'

...

'I've entered a triathlon'

'That's nice dear'

'It's £50'

'Right. It would have been nothing if you'd swum across that bay any other day. Bit like the Tour de Ben Nevis route'

'That's different'

'The only difference I can see is who's doing it'

'You're missing the point'

I have not yet been enlightened as to what the point I'm missing is 🙂

That's quite a committed strategy for getting a new bike!

In for a penny, in for a pound*

*of midriff lard

I'm on a diet. I was going to work out how much I've saved not buying crap to eat at work and claim it for bike stuff, but if it means I might have to give a bike back... 🙁

Now even the STW server is joining in

'Unable to connect to server - invalid argument'

Treacherous bastards!

I got arrested by the police for assult. I was choking my girlfriend during an arguement and she called the police who arrived and arrested me.

Yesturday she asked me to choke her during sex.

FFS , Can't we at least have some consistancy?

((. - Joke )+ bad)

At the Great Ape 😆

I'm just going to step away from single tracks post and exit the thread quietly

All the best for Monday.

Shoes and boots in this household as well. I buy a pair of handmade shoes every couple of decades when the old ones can no longer take a new sole, total cost about ten to twenty pounds a year based on my last pair of Loakes and including resoling. How can I possibly justify paying £200 for a pair of shoes? She on the other hand happily splurges 50 quid every few months on stuff that cannot be repaired and is fit for the bin.

I'm always amazed by these conversations, makes me realise what a great relationship I am lucky enough to have. I once went out and came back with a 6 litre V8 pick up truck. Eyes not even rolled. The idea that she would give the slightest tiny care about bikes or shoes!

I genuinely find it sad that people have to ask permission/negotiate to buy things with the money they've earned.
I'm assuming it doesn't mean the kids will go hungry or without the latest iphone.
Life's too short to purposely create friction.
Tragic.

pictonroad +lots

Personally I encourage my wife to buy as many pairs of shoes as she wants. It's the perfect defence to the "you can't possibly need another bike, you can only ride one at a time" accusation.

So glad I don't have this issue.

Interesting though, we all most often seem reasonable to ourselves. What are we unreasonable about that we think is completely valid/appropriate when it is not?

I'm not sure that in the grand scheme of things it quite reaches the level of a tragedy! Finite resources and different priorities - bikes / holidays / decorating / tools / how many dogs we need / new kitchen - mean differences of opinion are inevitable. But no, the kids don't go hungry , although they buy their own iPhones if they want them.

What are we unreasonable about that we think is completely valid/appropriate when it is not?

Standby jamj, I'll just go and ask 🙂

It's kinda the opposite in this house.

She frets about the cost of a riding lesson then the other day she asked if I was doing any UK enduros before Enduro2 in the Alps.
Between the lads we'd decided that we would spend our seasons entry fees (and then some) on the Alps trip.

Her response 'don't you think you should get some race practice in though?'

I'm yet to broach the subject of shock/fork servicing costs.

@ thegreatape, ok, I realise that people need to budget their finances and I was maybe being a tad dramatic 🙄 but I guess as I'm very low rent in my living expenses (as is missus) we have enough leftover cash to not really have to think/worry about spending it.

And we're not on good money, either

You're fine, no dramas. I remember those days, fondly....

Really it's no more than an anonymous mini-vent at the illogicality of the Home Secretary, knowing there'd be some kindred spirits on here 🙂

Well done for remembering when you bought the original shoes. If I don't take pics and post them somewhere I'm knackered when the financial and fun director asks why I'm buying new. I do have a budget for bike stuff though that's within £3 of the amount in the recent Road.cc article.
There was some friction about this until I pointed out that the other transport in the family has a budget and bikes are my transport. All is harmonious now.

... I remember those days, fondly....

Can you not put [url= http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/like/251950658497?adgroupid=13585920426&hlpht=true&hlpv=2&rlsatarget=pla-131843260626&adtype=pla&ff3=1&lpid=122&poi=&ul_noapp=true&limghlpsr=true&ff19=0&googleloc=1007041&device=c&chn=ps&campaignid=207297426&crdt=0&ff12=67&ff11=ICEP3.0.0-L&ff14=122&viphx=1&ops=true&ff13=80 ]segs[/url] in your new shoes to get more than two years out of them ... ? 👿

Maybe, might negate the main selling point of crepe soled brothel creepers though (ok, desert boots, but nearly the same).

Mr Pea and I spend quite a bit on bike-related stuff but not a great deal on other things. One of my friends at work was really shocked at how much I spent on Hope brakes and a fork service, but then I'm pretty sure she spends her money on things that I wouldn't.

Her: you should get some new shoes.
Me: I hate buying shoes.

She then dragged me round a load of shoe shops and eventually forced me to buy some that were actually quite nice.

A few days later our dog ate them 🙁

Financially no. My wife probably spend smaller amounts more frequently than me (she's having her nails done at the moment) whereas I'll buy something more expensive but not often. Really though, we'd rather travel and do things than buy things. We had an amazing trip to Burma in December but spent around £20 on each other's gifts.

Farting however!!!! Apparently I'm a disgusting animal who shouldn't be around people or allowed inside whereas hers are cute and never sm ell. Not exactly correct.

I'm given a pair of wellies JY, but nothing else.

Glad they prepare you for wading through shit 😉

Genuinely surprised by that.

Surely wellies are the best and most easily cleaned thing for wading in shit? Better than shoes?

Go shoeless?

[img] [/img]

That is exactly why they give us wellies. Not ideal for every occasion though - such as court.

Actually there is a very small monthly plain clothes allowance which is almost enough to buy a pair of pants and a pair of socks from M&S, but other than that it's just the wellies.

My relationship with the hubby and spending is perfect. I wanted a new bike, but eyebrows were briefly raised at the price of said carbon loveliness.

Solution?

Convinced him he needed something equally lovely and carbon orientated in his life 😆

My wife has horses, she never ever raises an issue on anything I spend.

These threads always have someone saying "Can't believe you have to even tell the wife when you spend x amount".

Clearly theres a income difference here, not a relationship difference.

Mine generally complains whenever I buy anything new - which is usually to replace something that is totally worn out.
I got out my 15yo Altura waterproof jacket yesterday, shes says, accusingly "how long have you had that?" clearly thinking I'd spent another £100 on bike gear - 15 years roughly - Oh, OK.

3 weeks ago we went to an awards dinner. They had a charity auction of not great, signed, pictures of athletes in far too large frames. Shes said she liked the Sally Gunnell one. £300.
Then later, she confessed that she'd bought a Dennis Bergkamp boot at £700.

I couldnt beleive it then.Apart from they are both tacky, we have nowhere to put them. So she cannot complain at my spending any more.

LBS have taken delivery of some Lauf forks that I'd like on my superfly.......

However I've just bought a new flat roof

I don't get any hassle for buying shiny things, as long as I've bought her someone first. So my RF Next cranks cost me an extra wedge as she decided she wanted Hope ones. My road bike, built from classifieds and eBay bargains cost me an extra brand new Boardman CX Team. Etc......
She's not into 'girly' stiff like shoes and handbags but sometimes I think her taste in climbimg and cycling stuff is more expensive in the long run...

I was recently left for words when my wife came home with a pair of shoes each for our 2 year old and 8 year old.
£90 !!!!!
And the younger will probably need a new pair in a few months
£90 ??

However I've just bought a new flat roof

These threads always have someone saying "Can't believe you have to even tell the wife when you spend x amount".

Clearly theres a income difference here, not a relationship difference.

+1

For me, if I buy a new bike this year, we don't have a family holiday, as I'm the only wage earner. Simple choice really.

Yep. So what bike are you getting?

Then later, she confessed that she'd bought a Dennis Bergkamp boot at £700.

It's funny how Mrs Z never asks where the money comes from when I stump up £600 for the car repairs in November, £900 for repairs to the central heating a week before Christmas or for the bracelet I bought her when we'd just popped into town to stretch our legs and call into the pub for a couple of drinks and a bite to eat last weekend.

When I bought a 2nd hand road bike recently it was like the Spanish inquisition. I even took her out for a ride in the car when I went to pick it up. Women, sheeeesh. .......

Seems your wife is jealousy spending. Perhaps seperate bank accounts for personal spending woukd be a good idea if thats a repetative scenario.
Its always boggled my mind when i hear married couples with their own spending accounts.. Maybe i get it now