Forum menu
...my beautiful 8 yr old son has been diagnosed with adhd and autism, shell shocked - he’s always been slightly different in a good way, been through camhs twice now first time they dismissed us 2 years ago, so earlier this year ( Jan ) we started on the road again, always battling with camhs, so leaving no stone unturned this is the diagnosis... relief, sad plus lots of other emotional stuff.
He’s the coolest 8 year old I know !
Diagnosis is a good thing! They're not terminal diseases, he'd still be the same person if he was never diagnosed.
It helps you learn how to help him.
Diagnosis is a good thing! They’re not terminal diseases, he’d still be the same person if he was never diagnosed.
Good advise. And the diagnoses does not mean he cannot adapt to whatever traits he may have. The recent Chris Packham program kinda highlights this.
There was a good recent docu on BBC regarding medication/therapy and ADHD.
Enjoy who your son is - and dont stress about all the junk posted on the internet about the conditions.
Embrace it. I know nothing about the conditions but it does seem there is some great stuff in people heads when they suffer from them. Give your son what he needs to get the good stuff out.
My son was diagnosed with the same at about the same age.
He got his MEng last year, has a good job that requires his skill set and has moved into his own flat.
ADHD was a pain when he was young but the Autism makes him who he is. He thinks differently which often allows him to find solutions no one else would.
CAHMS was and always will be underfunded and was/is a struggle but the diagnoses means they should put things in place.
Both of my boys are on the spectrum. aged 7 and 5. Oldest is classic Aspergers, youngest only has a mild diagnosis (process related and emotional.)
Like you it was a bit of a shock at first, we always suspected, but that doesn't make it easy news to come to terms with.
The good thing to take is that now you know, life will be easier to manage, and manage it you should. For us, routine is everything. Our whole house is setup to help them now. Walls are plastered with planners and symbol charts to help them know whats coming next and what order things are to be done in. This makes the world of difference.
Sure there are dark/difficult times, they will come and go, but they will be there.
I don't use the chat forum much but my email is in my profile, if you want an ear to bend then drop me a line.
My daughter who has borderline personality disorder was last year also diagnosed with ADHD. The treatment for the personality disorder has been very effective over a period of time, initially medication but now mainly using the coping techniques she learnt in counselling. The treatment for the ADHD was truly transformational, the difference in her was almost instant and her own feeling of well being was almost overnight.
I have been doing clinical trial and medical conferences for 22 years now so fully aware of the placebo effect ect but there is no doubt that the ADHD medication can not only work but can work very well. Forget all the Daily Mail chemical cosh rubbish. It's actually a stimulant which stimulates the part of the brain whose function is to control all the stimulation your brain is receiving. I worked on a conference in Madrid a couple of months ago which was entirely on ADHD. One thing that really stood out for me was the number of medical practitioners and patients describe how they had been treated for many mental health conditions over the years but that how once they had been diagnosed with and treated for ADHD so many of there apparent previous conditions abated.
I have no experience in autism but I can tell you that ADHD is very real and very treatable.
Diagnosis is a good thing! They’re not terminal diseases, he’d still be the same person if he was never diagnosed.
It helps you learn how to help him.
This^^ for you and those around him.
early diagnosis, pre high school will help massively too. High school is the turning point for kids, new environment, normally mix of kids from different primary schools makes for a socially challenging and hyper stimulating environment, whiere a lot of ASD kids start to suffer and show their traits more, leading to labels and social isolation.
already having a 'label' enables staff to set out a specific learning plan and intervene at earliest opportunity if things start to go wobbly.
He's still the same great wee guy.
Just has a label attached that hopefully will help people provide the best care and guidance for him.
Good luck, going for an assessment for 4yo with similar concerns tomorrow - I'm trying to remain thinking in the above way, we'll see how it goes if it does in fact amount to anything with a label.
People are people - everyone is different. Don't panic. As others have said, use the diagnosis to help understand him. Don't let these labels be used negatively. Celebrate his achievements.
I am a maths teacher. A little autism can actually help with maths you know!
You’d be surprised how many cyclist’s kids are on the “spectrum”. Take comfort in it, it’s normal :o)
Oh and PM me if you’d like to talk anything through. Our son was diagnosed at 6 and is now 20.
This a great book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Psychology-Syndrome-D-D-D-H-D-Schizophrenia/dp/0954852028
This a great book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Psychology-Syndrome-D-D-D-H-D-Schizophrenia/dp/0954852028
No its not - its pure nonsense.
The claims made are the authors opinion rather than documented and reliable research.
As said above, diagnosis is a good thing.
Get yourself an appointment with the school SENCO to start putting into place a pupil profile and any provision he might need, going forward he could be entitled to extra time in exams etc.
My son, almost 18, was diagnosed with Autism at 4 years old, we had no help from anyone and all knowledge we attained was of our own doing, the first 6 years were very difficult, but when he started at secondary school, he became a different boy. He's an absolute gem, stays with his grandma every weekend and help her with cooking, cleaning etc. She's going to miss him in a couple of months, he's heading for Lancaster university.
Don't worry about him, he will find his way and will amaze you. 75% of Microsoft employees are on the spectrum, what does that tell you?
Alan.
Don't worry and don't let it become an excuse for things. Either behaviour or doing not doing things.
Use the information to to guide you to find techniques in helping your son to find ways to achieve things. He will just need to take different routes to others for some things.
I have been diagnosed. A few of these types of things and it's about learning your own route. Taking the strengths btuat it gives me. Don't let them put him on beta blockers or similar. Work with it and find the route.
Email in profile.
Managed to surround myself working with autistic individuals for the past 10 years. Everyday is full of the weird, wonderful and funny.
I know all about Lou Reed's favourite cafés, walks & records. The life cycle of Narwal's and Metal Gear Solid. Then been brought fresh bread at lunch. The neurotypicals didn't even look up from their phones...
Assistant Head in an ASC school. Privileged to be so; my students are funny, ambitious and the masters of divergent thought. Best job I've ever had.
It's the opening of a door, not the closing, I promise.
Email in profile
75% of Microsoft employees are on the spectrum, what does that tell you?
It tells you that IT is full of people that are good with numbers/calculations/logic but socially awkward and seem a bit odd to 'normal' people. It has been a good area for me to work in and I have done fairly well..
My son is currently being assessed as he is suspected of being on the spectrum. His quirkiness is great. Meltdowns and panic attacks very upsetting.
National Autistic society have a good informative website, as do ADDISS for ADHD.
Look to CAMHS/OT for support around sensory info, will help with the panic and anxiety.
Routine is your friend.
There are probably local support groups for parents and young people with same experiences, again CAMHS will have these and can be very useful.
We are all on the ASC spectrum just different ends, worth googling famous people with ASC/ADHD to see what they have achieved.
We are all on the ASC spectrum just different ends, worth googling famous people with ASC/ADHD to see what they have achieved.
You probably didn't mean it, but this statement is one that I've heard lots, and it's just not accurate.
There are no non autistic people on the spectrum, it is a spectrum of varying degrees of traits used to formally identify autism.
if you don't have the collection of traits, you're not on the spectrum, you're on the 'neurotypical spectrum' (if that's a thing)
Saying everyone is on the spectrum is like saying everyone is a bit depressed. Massively misses the mark and belittles the experiences and difficulties that the individual and their support network face.
Of course, this thread we'd like to focus on the positives, of which there will be many if the support is in place and able to get on with the job, without being told that everyone is a bit autistic. 🙂
Don’t worry and don’t let it become an excuse for things. Either behaviour or doing not doing things.
PERFECT answer!
My GF's eldest (nearly 15) is on the spectrum. Only very slightly I will add, but the problem is as he was only diagnosed a year or so ago, and his father is an absolute waste of space, he plays up to the recent diagnosis incredibly!
I am massively sympathetic/empathetic towards his autism, but he is this >---< much autistic, and he is this >-----------------------------< much of a lazy opportunistic little shit like his father is, and his behaviour becomes accepted/normalised/excused now, especially at school where it seems as though the bigger deal they make out of his autism, the more government funding they will get! In fact, he can be quite a charming young man, can be quite conscientious, is tidy and organised and likes structure in his life (all quite typical traits you will likely note). But if he even remotely begins to become anxious about something, you can actually see the switch flip in his head where he thinks "brilliant, this is my turn to be centre of attention and everybody will have to pander to my whims for the forseeable"... My GF is one of those people who just gets on with everything, never complains, even if she's working her fingers to the bone. She actually snapped at him the other day, when I needed to take her to hospital (she came off her bike and broke her collarbone the night before!) for consultation, he saw the opportunity to make the situation all about him and how he wasn't prepared to have to grow up and take charge a bit whilst his mum recovers... Fortunately she saw through this, and after a stern talking to he backed right down, and when he came home from school that night, he even helped to cook dinner and do the washing up etc.
My point...? Well my point is he wasn't like this until somebody put a label on him... Until his school decided to treat him in an exceptional way, he behaved pretty much like most other children, just one that was was a little socially awkward but very tidy and organised (in fact in many ways, as is typical of people on the scale, he acted more adult than many of his peers). It is only now that he gets treated exceptionally that his behaviour has got worse!
75% of Microsoft employees are on the spectrum, what does that tell you?
That is is far more "normal" these days than ever...
Autism isn't a sickness, it is not a reason to wrap people up in cotton wool and protect them from life. If we treat everyone as different and pander to their whims, then we end up with a society of misfits each believing that they are far more special and deserving of special treatment than the next person. Don't separate, integrate! Teach those on the scale that it is no less normal than somebody who isn't on the scale, and teach those not on the scale that they are no more normal than somebody who is on the scale.
My boy was diagnosed when he was in nursery school, on the higher functioning side of things, was the best thing we have done as it's has made his life so much easier and the school was able to prepare in advance of him coming (small school down in Cornwall)
Wouldn't change him for the world, now about to leave year two reading on AR level 4.2, yea we get the odd emotional issues, especially when asking him to redo homework, that causes explosions... but he's brilliant to put it simply.
We think my daughter has some emotional issues.... worse so than the boy but her social side is fine, just gets rather angry.... like her mother......
As others have said, the problem with autism is everyone else. Ignorant doesn't come close. But so long as people like you talk about it the better the rest of us understand.