[Closed] So my boy's started spitting :/

Talking worked well then?
Clip his ear and if that fails slap his arse. Hide the hoody and stop him playing until he apologises.

Mine did it for a couple of days - a reception craze apparently.
No screen time for a week sorted that & I told him that if anyone spat at me in the street I would get very, very cross,Dr David Banner cross.
Re - the hoodie , has he called you "dog" yet?
🙂

An ex's 6 year old boy (Aussie as it happens...) spat at me once - just once 😀

Instant reaction of smacking him round the head and getting a bit shouty ensured he wasn't going to spit (at an adult) ever again.

mattsccm - Member
Talking worked well then?
Clip his ear and if that fails slap his arse. Hide the hoody and stop him playing until he apologises.

Not sure hitting him is the answer, and I'm sure your comment was tonguey-cheeky though.

No pudding?

Rob Hilton - Member
An ex's 6 year old boy (Aussie as it happens...) spat at me once - just once

Instant reaction of smacking him round the head and getting a bit shouty ensured he wasn't going to spit (at an adult) ever again.

I'm sure it would work, I just couldn't. He does not respond to shouty in any way. If anything if riles him up more and he shouts back. I once had an hour of him screaming LET ME OUT after I put him in time out. All I wanted was an apology and he wouldn't budge! Stubborn mo-fo.

Spit hood?

^ like

First incident was yesterday at football.

Enough said!

Dunno about the spitting but I'd cut the hood off the hoody and see a frilly girls one on it.

Violence is a great way to bring up kids.

Based on your considerable experience Al?

Hack up a huge wodge of phlegm and spit it in his face, see how he likes them onions

Spit back at them, a real throat oyster right in the face.

I'm sure it would work, I just couldn't. He does not respond to shouty in any way. If anything if riles him up more and he shouts back. I once had an hour of him screaming LET ME OUT after I put him in time out. All I wanted was an apology and he wouldn't budge! Stubborn mo-fo.

Have there been other indicators in Junior's life that he can be extraordinarily defiant, or unresponsive to discipline? Or is it just in the wake of this particular phase?

Serious, if impertinent, question.

There you go, we must be right.

First incident was yesterday at football.

Enough said!

FFS.

It's an abhorrent habit - particularly when aimed at someone, but it's not a 'football' thing.

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/tennis-spitting-images-are-not-a-pretty-sight-1423404.html

https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=rugby+spitting

https://www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=running+spitting

To the OP. It's a phase and it will pass. But it seems to me like you have a strong-willed son, and after this one then there'll be another challenge so you do need a response. While a decent slap 'never did me any harm' then persist with the more rational techniques - but what about flipping it and rewarding not spitting instead of punishing spitting. Get to the end of the week with no more spitting and this is the result. Get to end of next week and this, etc.

Meh.. I'd hoped this thread was gonna contain sick bars fam

Strong willed, yes most def.

No other incidents really. He's just had summer hols so back to school, new class, teacher and most of his buddies are in a different class. He's a bright button and his friend's aren't so (from what I've seen - some of them can barely speak a sentence). He's.... vocal. The kid that always answers the questions in class, the one you can hear shouting "you do this, I'm the leader, follow me" etc etc

Just a phase, pushing boundaries and testing people I guess.

I once had an hour of him screaming LET ME OUT after I put him in time out.

What is time out? And did you give in after that hour?

I'm not entirely sure that spitting at people is...

Just a phase, pushing boundaries and testing people I guess.

MarkBrewer - Member
I once had an hour of him screaming LET ME OUT after I put him in time out.
What is time out? And did you give in after that hour?

What is "time out"? Do you have kids? Time out, naughty step, stand in the corner. Still there?

I didn't give up after an hour, no. He did. I was curious as to just how long he'd keep going. I was in the room every 5 mins giving him an opportunity to apologise. "You can come out if you tell me what you did and why you're sorry". Took an hour but we got there.

throat oyster

That'll work. Spit in his chips to make doubly sure.

I was in the room every 5 mins giving him [s]an opportunity to apologise[/s] the attention he craved.

❓

Coyote - Member
I'm not entirely sure that spitting at people is...

Just a phase, pushing boundaries and testing people I guess.

I never said spitting was. What I meant, before you're cutting and bodging, was that as a five year old, it's HE'S just going through a phase etc. I'm not suggesting that this will be a life long "thing". Imagine going to a job interview....Or meeting people off forums. "Hi, I'm Coyote" *hchchc puuhh!"

And no, he's not seen or heard of Bob Carolgees

Cougar - Moderator
I was in the room every 5 mins giving him an opportunity to apologise the attention he craved.

Nice one Cougar. If I'd have said I totally ignored his cries and screams for an hour, you'd have done me on that no doubt?

I never said spitting was. What I meant, before you're cutting and bodging, was that as a five year old, it's HE'S just going through a phase etc.

This ^

Same as biting, hitting, tantrums. A five year old can't understand why spitting is more abhorrent to us than most other forms of misbehaviour, it's just another means of pushing the acceptable limits and seeing what happens. The spitting will pass - the boundary pushing will just move on to another one.

I'm the current owner of a near teenage daughter - 10 days to go - and the boundaries are now all about make up, phones at school, what age category films are allowed, why certain clothes are not acceptable, and so on. But they're still being pushed, every bloody day.

@couger - I don't think you are a parent, correct? But the OP is dead right; time out for a suitable period at a time, then give a chance to apologise and accept. Nothing more, that's not 'giving the attention they crave' it's offering a get out. Don't want to take it - fine, take another 5 minutes without attention. They get the point in the end, and then can have attention when they deserve it.

smacked legs worked for both my kids when young.

Nice one Cougar. If I'd have said I totally ignored his cries and screams for an hour, you'd have done me on that no doubt?

Time out works really well, roll it up and clap 'em across the head with it.

but actually
time out should be isolation for 1 minute for every year of their age

..well, that is one suggestion anyway. If they continue to be defiant, then another time out follows

[img] /revision/latest?cb=20140318232628[/img]

He's 5.

I was in the room every 5 mins giving him an opportunity to apologise

CharlieMungus - Member
but actually
time out should be isolation for 1 minute for every year of their age

Sounds like the OP nailed it then

😀

Got fava beans in the cupboard. No Chianti though...

Malvern Rider - Member
Spit in his chips to make doubly sure.

I put onion in his ragu. He hates onion. I told him it was celery. "I quite like celery"

FFS he wins again.

Sounds like the OP nailed it then

Well, 'nailed it' is a generous interpretation, but did the best he could in a difficult situation, subject to all the other stresses and anxieties he faced at the time? Yup, reckon he did that

Thread delivers on so so many STW levels...

I'm enjoying this 🙂

Nice one Cougar. If I'd have said I totally ignored his cries and screams for an hour, you'd have done me on that no doubt?

Wasn't intending to be an arse, just wondering whether he was attention-seeking.

Another kid punched him in the belly so he spat in the kids face

I reckon in a court of law the wee mans got sufficient cause for self defense. 😆

OP just a phase, a bit like biting and pushing over. You know yourself what works best with your son. If you believe in smacking then this would qualify imo but needs to be done shortly thereafter.

He's possibly too young perhaps to understand but aside from being very unpleasant is also a health issue capable of transmitting many nasty viruses etc

it's a mine field of just a phase till the next one and learning the rules and the limits. I am impressed your boy has the motor skills to spit accurately at 5 crankbrat can only manage a scatter gun raspberry when he tries to spit.

I would guess spitting was his instant defence retaliation to being hit and viewed by him as no different and possibly nicer than a punch back . time out and 5 min checks seems about right.

be careful with messages I have spent weeks telling a boisterous crankbrat to be careful with younger children and protect them. intending that he stopped carelessly knocking them over and play gently around them. Last week I got a phone call and letter from school , as best I can establish some reception kids recruited crankbrat in year 1 to take out a bully in year 2, year 2 boy lost a tooth crankbrat a couple of playtimes and an afternoons normal class.

year 2 boy lost a tooth

I spat at my grandad when I was about 6 or 7 . He just dragged the biggest greenie up from his boots and gobbed it right in my face . It had the desired effect and I never spat at anyone again . 😆

Wee in his shoes, see what he thinks of that.

I spat at my grandad when I was about 6 or 7 . He just dragged the biggest greenie up from his boots and gobbed it right in my face . It had the desired effect and I never spat at anyone again.

What is "time out"? Do you have kids? Time out, naughty step, stand in the corner. Still there?

Calm down, no need to be rude about it 😉

I probably could have worded it better but I know what time out is and was only asking what it was in this situation, ie what method you used as it came across like he'd been locked up or something 😆 And I do have children.

I spat at my grandad when I was about 6 or 7 . He just dragged the biggest greenie up from his boots and gobbed it right in my face . It had the desired effect and I never spat at anyone again.

I had the same experience, when I was about 8. I never spat at anyone again, not for 15 years, by then my grandad was old and frail and I hawked the biggest flemball straight into his eye, then I knocked him down, sat on his head and farted. It really worked though, he never spat at me again

When Mrs M first started teaching, the old head found a boy spitting in the corridor so she frog marched him to a bin and informed him that as he liked spitting so much he could do it 100 times into the bin. He never did it again.

Was that really you Ming?

So I'm taking him to footy today and we're going to have a chat with the boy who punched him (and his Dad who was apparently angry his boy was spat at). Let's hope he's a reasonable chap who's open to discussion. If not guess I'll just punch him in the belly, or spit in his face (obvs while little aphex isn't watching.... hehe)

CountZero - Member

I threw a tantrum because I didn't want to go to bed one evening and kicked my mum when half way up the stairs, so she kicked me back, hard! Never did it again.
I was around five or so, I guess.

I punched my mom in the face when I was five as she read "feeee fiiiii fooo fum" as a bed time story. Scared the crap outta me so I punched her. She didn't do it again.

How did the show down go OP? Rereading this I still don't get why the puncher appears blame free in this ? Surely the spitting equates to all the parental respinces that everyone claims work so well in deteriorating abhorrent behaviour.

Well it didn't. He apologized to the guy who runs it. There were about 6 kids there. I did t get chance to find out who hit him but I heard the lads mom was on the phone flapping g her gums.

Unfortunately some lad tackled him so he picked up the ball and sat in goal and refused to play. Needless to say he was removed and returned to the car.

I think he's just got a bit much on. He's been at school 5 days a week for three weeks now and adding in extra activities just bad timing right now. I think im expecting too much from a five year old.

My kid is 5 1/2 and would struggle with football , too much losing and not being in control for him to take on board. Notwithstanding my pacifism and concerns re behaviour we are sending him to kick boxing his class focusses very much on fitness and self control , he really enjoys it . my impression is that football focuses on goal scoring which results in sulking and disinterest if you can't do it whereas the kick boxing is about learning the techniques as an individual and fitness games so achievement is less competitive.

I have thought about a martial art. He already has swimming class on a Thursday, just started 5 days a week at school. I think perhaps we're pushing him into too many things so we're gonna hold back on the football. Plus, it's not football here it's soccer and I wince every time I hear that word (and I'm not even a huge football fan!).

I think he'd do well at judo or BJJ but maybe 6 months or so's time. I think the whole 3/2 days to 5/5 days at school is a lot to deal with.

What does he show an interest in?

From Wiki,

'There are some places where spitting is a competitive sport, with or without a projectile in the mouth. For example, there is a Guinness World Record for cherry pit spitting and cricket spitting, and there are world championships in Kudu dung spitting.'

Maybe the boy has talent.

funkmasterp - Member
What does he show an interest in?

At the moment... Transformers. He's sussed the PS3, and how to get into YouTube. One morning he got up and was watching unboxing vids of Transformer toys. How did he do this? Copied the word TRANSFORMER off one of his boxes into the YouTube search.

km79 - Member

Maybe the boy has talent.

2 foot away, gobbed in a kid's eye. There's prizes for this? 😀