[Closed] So I've fell out with my parents!

Life is too short to hold grudges. Take it on the chin, be the bigger person and make up with them.

depends on whether you like them and want them in your life

Go out for a beer with your Dad, talk it through with him.

Ouch. Not much useful advice. But when Dad's being a pain I tell him off and then buy him a pint. It's usually my round.

Other times it's usually my fault for being a cocky know-it-all and once Ive realised that I shut up and apologise.

Case in point:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/manege

dad's right, it's manege and not menage.
Sorry dad 😳

So how does this sit?
Not a word, not a text, not a card, not a ****ing squeak to wish my wife a happy 40 th birthday two weeks ago yesterday. And still nothing now! Mother had got the hump cos the grand kids didn't speak to dad two weeks prior on his birthday. However we rang three times but to no avail!

To add, wife is gutted and now refuses to discuss "them" 🙄

I cant even remember my kids birthdays. I'm not sure that constitutes grounds for excommunication. Unless you've got the hump by proxy from your missus?

EDIT

wife is gutted and now refuses to discuss "them"

Ah. You're pissed with your folks in solidarity with your wife then. That way lies ruin.

Well no, not really stoner. I just couldn't believe on her 40th they did nothing, nadda, zilch! We were at a festival at the time so I txt to say any chance of giving the wife a call etc. Again no reply!
Rock and hard place, but sides aren't really an option! I know the problem is my mother but I always thought my dad was better than that. That's what cuts the most I reckon!

Forgetting a Birthday is a bit hurtful. Maybe not worthy of a full on family feud and cutting off your mum and dad though is it?
Life's too short.

Jerremy Kyke?

It wasn't a forgotten birthday, that was clear. I even invited the olds round for a drink on the eve of her birthday. Dad was picking the kids up from gym for us so we could load up the car for the festival, mother decided not to come. Can't see how anyone would jeopardise seeing their grand kids to be honest.
I daren't ring the old dear because I know I'll lose my rag!
It's a ****ing nightmare to be honest!

Perhaps your wife has done something to p1ss them off.

Just a thought like 😉

Wouldn't be bothering my ass over a 40th birthday tbh I was quite happy to skulk over that particular threshold.

Don't think too much, It'll blow over. But ring your parents as soon as you can and share your life with them if you can. I know it's difficult. One day they will be dead and then it is too late.

Your mum sounds exactly like my mum. I feel your pain.

Life's too short. Build them bridges.

Not a word, not a text, not a card, not a **** squeak to wish my wife a happy 40 th birthday

This has to be a troll; no woman ever turns 40! 😉

[img] [/img]

Sounds like the whole lot of you should grow up...

parkesie - Member
Jerremy Kyke?

Oy, vey! You schmucks better schlepp up to the lie detector!

Perhaps it was a grammatical disagreement? I've [i]fallen out[/i].....

You need to take a step away from the "problem" because it either isn't the real issue or you are all acting like spoilt brats.
Most women I know would absolutely hate to be reminded that they have reached 40, especially by their MIL.
Take the time to go and visit your Mum, just the 2 of you and find out what is really going on.

I knw this sounds trite, even religious, but I would say:
treat others as you would be treated.

Thus, be nice, ignore their failings and do not give a damn if they try to piss you off.

Once you accept that the only way to happiness is total forgiveness then you will realise how lame you were being. I forgive you for that.

You've fallen out.

My wife HATES my mum so they seldom speak. This is not uncommon in mother/daughter in law relationships. I refuse to allow my wife's irrational hatred spoil my own relationship so I keep talking despite my Mum being quite irritating. My reason for this? Parents love their children and have given up most of their lives for us; it's not their fault that they are different, they were brought up in a different era when ways and manners were different. It's wrong to fall out with them for that, they deserve support as their world slowly crumbles around them, they get unwell and their friends die. How do you think you will feel when that starts happening to you and your children are ignoring you?

Carry on.

OOps double post, sorry.

i cant imagine anything more trivial. grow up.. you your wife ffs is her life that much worse because your parents didnt ring her to say happy birthday? your wifes 40 not 4

Do adults actually care that much about their birthday?

edit - I've just seen the above has made the same point.

they deserve support as their world slowly crumbles around them, they get unwell and their friends die. How do you think you will feel when that starts happening to you and your children are ignoring you?

This.

Forget your adult petty squabbles
Think about the children do they miss their gran and gramps

My Dad forgot my 40th then, when I rang him for the weekly chat, he told me not to forget my nephew's birthday at the end of the month. That hurt and since then he's forgotten it again and yet when asked can spout of all the birthdays of my brother's family.....
Anyway, I just ignore that thoughtlessness of him now, he's the only Dad I've got and one day he won't be there. I say build the bridges, parents can sometimes behave as children then we have to be the adults about things.

All pretty pathetic. Grow up and sort it out face to face. You only get one family.

I don't get he obsession with birthdays. My sister was late sending a card to my grandma, so the card was a day late in arriving. Grandma went mental, they didn't speak for a year and, three years on, the relationship is still hanging by a thread.

My Dad forgot my birthday every single year.
Not deliberately, he was just a silly old Hector.
I found it quite endearing, tbh.

He's beed dead for a long time now and I still miss him.

Call them & tell your wife to grow up.

He's been dead for a long time now and I still miss him.

My Dad died 7 years ago and I'd give anything to have one more pint with him, don't loose your parents over a petty argument!

It's a birthday for ffs! If my mum got mad every time I forgot hers she'd never speak to me again.

I can't think of anything worse than losing my parents, they are everything to me. Get round there or call them. Life is way too short and when they are gone you'll regret the time you missed.

Oh and I couldn't care less if people forget my birthday. Why we celebrate being born and not our parents for having us has always baffled me. It's my parents who did the hard work.

The longer you leave it the harder it will be.
Go round there right now and see what the problem is.

Perhaps it was a grammatical disagreement? I've fallen out.....

"What about your grammar?"
"I haven't fallen out with her just my parents"

It's really easy to get into an entrenched position. And I get why you're annoyed - it's thoughtless and rude. However, as a cautionary tale -

My father keeled over and died utterly unexpectedly aged 51. The last words out of his face to me were "I'm really proud of you"... I was a bit sarcastic and flippant back. As things go it's not a bad last ever conversation, but tbh, I've sorely regretted not having responded in kind since. That's something I'll never be able to fix.

My point is, that as others have said, life is way to short for petty grievances to get in the way. Is the current argument worth, potentially, a lifetime of regret?

i'll plead the larkin in the face of the above.

families seem to think it gives them behavioural carte blanche. it does not. i stopped speaking to mine some years ago. best decision I ever made. no more trauma, no more nonsense.

read some emerson....

Yeah Swiss I don't get the whole family thing either, quite infrequently talk to mine. If they cause more hassle than they're worth cut em loose I say.

It's more than just the birthday I can assure you and its not the first time mother has got the moodies. However after we get back from holiday I will take the advice and give them a ring. ****ing grates me tho how I have to always make the first move! Onwards...

I understand that you may be hurt that they forgot or didn't call on your wife's birthday. However, in the great scheme of things that really is trivial.

Get over it pop round and start talking, its a blip not the start of a stand off, who gives in first.

But why should parents be allowed to do/say/not say whatever they want regardless of your feelings then never be held to account? You wouldn't let anybody else away with it.

It's a lot more than the birthday. It's been building for a while. That was just a final dig. As said I will call..

You mentioned that you were scared to lose your rag with yer mum.. Just get on with it.. She is behaving like a petulant child.. There comes a time in many parent/child relationships where the student becomes the master

I know these things can seem big in the heat of the moment but that does sound fairly trivial TBH.

I'm not sure I agree with the blanket advice that you must build bridges with family etc though. Some of them might just be dicks that you happen to be related to - life's too short to waste your time spending it with dicks.