[Closed] Share your tales of parking madness

This thread is really funny and depressing all at once, axe murdering parked cars and running over the caretaker being highlights.

I have gotten pretty snotty when people have parked across the backyard when I used to keep my car there (or when they parked so close to back gate I couldn't get my bin out on bin day. But front street has always been a FFA and I couldn't give a monkeys, I refuse to get drawn in, really can't understand people who do.

One thing is for sure, next time I'm house hunting I'll be chatting to a neighbour or two to find out if they have "parking wars".

The nursery our littlest used to go to had to repeatedly send out letters asking for parents to park considerately, last one had a quite specific list of dos and don'ts including:
don't park behind people who are trying to reverse out of their space (this happened to my mrs, she didn't report it so presumably it's a regular occurrence)
Take care driving across the pavement outside (lots of local school kids use it)
Don't block the entrance/exit

WTF do people need this shit pointing out to them - repeatedly?

oh and my current bugbear is people double parking while waiting to pick up a mate when there is a parking spot or side road a couple of meters away. No it's ok I'll just sit here blocking the road instead.

As an aggressive teenager, someone took offence to me parking in "their" spot. they parked so that their car was touching my bumper, presumably so I'd have to knock on the door and get a blocking. The thing is, mk2 fiestas had steel bumpers, so I just shunted the crappy astra backwards and drove off with mr angry stood in the road waving his fist. With hindsight I could have been done for leaving the scene of an accident, but it was the 90s, I was probably stoned and it just seemed very clever at the time.

i shouldn't but LOL @ Covert, i like that story.

I have issues with people parking over my drive often when i'm arriving home late from work, so in good spirit i park millimeters close to their bumper. That's nothing though, my next door neighbour's drive is constantly used as a communal parking space!!

[i]Fulking hell.[/i]

Fulking Hill, earlier;

[img] [/img]

(hopefully Finn won't mind me linking his pic from here;

[url= http://www.finnhopson.com/recent/h3AC34DF0#h3ac34df0 ]http://www.finnhopson.com/recent/h3AC34DF0#h3ac34df0[/url]
)

I've every sympathy with people who use their drive and get blocked in or out of it by nobbers.

been blocked almost daily for months.
not suer if they do it on purpose to specifically p155 off residents, or just to avoid paying for a parking permit that will let them park anywhere around town with no hassles. mixed use building, residential, offices and shops, and it's the shop staff (mostly, but occasionally customers) that do the blocking. surely it must p155 them of too when 10 people come home from work at 6pm and they have to move the car 10 times?

edit: and it's me that has to park illegally or block another entrance to go in the shop to get them to move their car. again.

people are strange.

saying that, the last 2 weeks has been totally clear. maybe someone "has had a word" ?

was just at the stage of printing myself a load of "www.iparklikeaxxxx.com" (xxxx = see you next tuesday), and "can I have a parking ticket plaese" stickers, to stick on the cars daily.

I've every sympathy with people who use their drive and get blocked in or out of it by nobbers.

Oh how the other half live

PS neighbour often gets blocked in and it amuses me no end 😈

We have an issue of parents parking at our school as well - the school has no pavement, so the gate opens directly onto a (one way) road.
Parents regularly park on the zig-zags, double yellows etc, blocking the view of cars incoming (especially if you are 4' tall and cannot see past the hulking people carrier or 4x4).

This was being discussed at the parent teacher council, with the police being brought in, more signage and a pupil campaign to take pictures of the offending cars.

Cue one of the parent council suddenly speaking up and asking what was she meant to do, I mean, she had to drop one 9 year old off AND could have a sleeping baby... Will none of us think about the sleeping child being left in a car?

She was not impressed when I pointed out our 9 year old walks a mile to school each day by himself, so her 9 year old was more than capable of the 100m walk from the local car park to school....

*sigh*

at my kids school its a one way street They still try to drive down it on th emornign to get about 75 metres closer. its carnage and rarely clears before 9:15.
Numerous kids are late due to this and the parents blame the roads

People are very lazy arent they

She was not impressed when I pointed out our 9 year old walks a mile to school each day by himself, so her 9 year old was more than capable of the 100m walk from the local car park to school....

How could you leave a 9 year old child unattended for 100 metres? Don't you know there are pedos lurking around every corner these days?

(Sadly I think this ridiculous media-fuelled paranoid mentality is actually a big factor in kids being driven absolutely everywhere 🙁 )

haha

mine's a one way street too. impressive how many try to be clever and drive 50m the wrong way just to save driving round 3 sides of a 100m x 100m block.

and the best bit...

when I've essentially blocked them (cars parked both sides), apparently from their gesticulations, it's *MY* fault for not moving all the way across into a spare parallel parking bay to let them past. Next time I get out and use words, since here in Germany, the use of 5 knuckle shuffle gesticulations when driving can mean a visit from the Polizei.

lazy f*****s

Did people fight over where to tie their horses?

[img] [/img]

(Sadly I think this ridiculous media-fuelled paranoid mentality is actually a big factor in kids being driven absolutely everywhere )

Years ago I used to go once a week to a kebab shop which had a particularly small, awkward car park and really, nowhere else nearby. I had a big old truck at the time but I always made a point of parking properly.

One evening I arrived there and the last space was quite badly encroached upon by a clio, someoene clearly couldn't be arsed to park in the bay correctly. So I very carefully reversed my Hilux into the adjacent bay, taking care to stay inside the parking space. Went in and placed my order. After a few minutes the fat Belfast hood who was also in the kebab shop left and I watched with great amusement as he walked over to his car slowly realising he would have to climb in through the passenger door.

He stood there for a second before storming back to the kebab shop and asking who owned the "jeep".
I asked if there was a problem to which he replied
"[i]Well look at the way you're fin parked mate! I can't go nowhere"[/i].
I pointed out to him that I was in the parking space, he wasn't.
[i]"How am I supposed to get in my car?"[/i] ....
should have maybe thought of that while you were parking, would you like me to move?
[i]"No mate, go * yourself. You're a dick. A total ****in dick.[/i]
Oh how I laughed in his face and nearly wet myself watching his fat ass wriggle into the driver seat of his car. Took him about 5 minutes.

Is that St James's in the background?

A neighbour has a parking space next to mine. However, the space next to his is unused, so he parks in the middle of these two parking spaces. One bloody cold winter's day, with 2-3 inches of snow on the ground I was out fixing the heater on my Landy. I *really* didn't want to be, but needs must.

He came out, and saw that the toes of one of my feet was over the line in *his* parking space as I laid out on my back under the car. He never said a word and I forgot about it till the next day when he had decided to teach me a lesson and stop me putting my foot in his space by parking his car as close as possible to the line as he could without being in my space. This was an idea full of fail because he parked with the driver's side next to me. I simply parked my car somewhat nearish the line and then took the tram to work for a few days. I came home one day to find that he must have climbed over from the passenger side to move his car back to the middle of the 2 spaces.

On the other side I had a nice couple in their mid 80's. One day I came home to find that they had parked in my space by accident ( the bays are numbered ). I wasn't going to worry about it, so parked in the one part of the car park that definitely wasn't anyone else's space and wasn't in the way of anyone - the next morning I found the soggy remains of a nasty note on my windscreen for parking outside of a bay.

Very recently in Bower rd,Bristol I parked on the road nicely settled between two driveways outside a pair of semi detached houses. Now I was quoting a job in an adjacent school but the owners of said houses assumed I was another typical builder (scaffolder) parking to use the café nearby. They had parked cars either side of me to within an inch.
My caddy was pretty strong when it came to "easing the restriction" 😆
Dunno what they thought the outcome would be..

[quote=Torminalis ]I pay my road tax

I actually had that the other day from a chap who I'd asked not to park on the pavement. I went and checked the windscreen and pointed out he didn't have pavement tax.

I live up the road from a Church. Parking is non existent, compounded by double yellows having been put in a wee while back (apparently, it's a bone of contention). During the summer i was off work and pottering about at home when it became apparent there was a bloke putting his car in the end of my long driveway and making to head to the Church. As I was going out I managed to intercept him and he said "I'm really late and there seemed to be space" - w.t.f. So he had parked in a driveway because he was late. I pointed out that really that wasn't going to happen.

What you need is a few teenage kids coming of driving age, they'll soon hack your neighbours off, do you want to borrow two?

There's a school sports field over the road from me that they share with the local kids football club. This means that on Saturday mornings, the on road spaces all get used up by parents watching their kids at training. That's OK, it's a FFA road and they're as entitled to the spaces as I am.

A few weeks ago, I got back from my Sat morning ride to find all the space taken. Wanting to offload the bike into the garage I just parked across my driveway, blocking my wife in temporarily. Some bloke sat in a nearby car (it was a cold drizzly day and presumably he couldn't be bothered to watch his kids, prefering to read the paper in his car) disembarked with the speed of a US soldier leaving a landing craft on Omaha beach and charged to wards me shouting OY! OY! at me. Before informing me in 'aggressive' terms that I couldn't park there as it was blocking a driveway. I think he was mildly embarrassed as i thanked him profusely for his concern before going into my house.

In fairness, as with many others above there have been plenty of times where parents do just abandon cars without giving a toss about who they inconvenience, and we have had cause in the past to mention it to the football club, who I know have passed it on in parents newsletters. I know this because a mate is the club secretary so mentioning it to the club means mentioning it to him. So I'm sure this parent was protecting the image of the club, in his eyes. But a less mild mannered individual than me might well have seen the need to bop him in the nose at the second or third OY!

damn. spoke too soon.

Shop staff blocking the legal parking space next to my entrance, with a car parked in it (probably one of their customers illegally parking in one of the office parking bays).

One of those fat Minis (bit like its owner I expect - obese), parked mostly across my entrance. I could just squeeze between obese Mini and bike rack bollard to get in, but would have to tell* them to move it to get out, since it's a one-way street.

Oh and yes, funnily enough there was a Black BMW that thought it would be fine to take a short cut. Someone else blocked him in 🙂

* I've gone well past the point of asking. If it's blocking my entrance, I go to the door and shout "Move that Mini/BMW/Audi!" an point (then usually do a w****er symbol for good luck every time I walk past their shop window).

jimjam and cranberry, that's very childish. And a great game! Double points if you can get 2 cars, one either side. It's one of the many benefits of having a van with decent mirrors for reversing and back doors you can get in and out. 😀

Terraced street in chester, builder had left a set of ladders to keep a space for roofer to put ladders from roadway against wall to access roof,woman driver reversed over ladders as we watched, wheels each side of the ladders.

Hmmm. Seems to be quite a few school, church, shops stories here.
We live opposite a church, with a row of several takeaways about 50m away (wahoo) on a pedestrian bit set back from the street, with a primary school just up the road, also about 50m away.

It gets pretty chaotic here at times, but doesn't really affect us as we both work. The school run parents are the worst offenders. Apparently letters were sent out but it all got a bit aggressive and a teacher was threatened with violence for asking someone to park more considerately....

Wonder if you could get away with an old double decker or double wheel base Luton right outside the windows (terrace row) blocking out the sun 😆

Once parked in a space up Falkirk town centre, some nosey gimp came up and told me off for parking in a disabled space. Pointed out that it was actually a loading bay and was also a Sunday so the parking was a free for all.

it all got a bit aggressive and a teacher was threatened with violence for asking someone to park more considerately....

All these people who are getting their drives parked in front of, are these gravelled over front garden setups where there MAY be some confusion or proper drives with dropped kerbs, little Posts and a garage at the end of it.

I cannot fathom parking across a drive. It does not compute. Road outside a house fair game but across a drive?? It's a drive! What's going through people's heads when they park over a drive?

tthew

jimjam and cranberry, that's very childish. And a great game! Double points if you can get 2 cars, one either side. It's one of the many benefits of having a van with decent mirrors for reversing and back doors you can get in and out.

Not big or clever, but bloody good craic 😀

I suppose this tale is parking madness.
The bloke opposite our shop does not meet the requirements of having a disabled badge. He runs, climbs ladders and carries heavy loads.
So I phoned the relevant authorities to report him obviously using someone else's badge.
The man on the phone said they couldn't take action as his disability may not be visible. Such as I asked? He might be blind was their answer.I gave up at that point.

No, in my case, there's clearly a garage with a roller door, and one space outside, plus one adjacent space. And opposite is a small private car park with key operated barrier. (edit: and that adjacent space has a very clear no parking sign indicating that illegal parkers will be towed - although that may not be legal here?)

that's in a one way street, with metered parking both sides, with obvious gaps where entrances to private parking are located.

they are not confused whatsoever. they do it because they are fat lazy freeloaders.

I live opposite a school, its busy for 10 minutes with drop offs, most people are fine. However there was a couple of incidents with a certain individual once which I personally got 'involved' with, which resulted in an undercover police car watching over the school run for a few days.

I've also had to go out when folk park opposite with radio or phone speakers on really loud whilst waiting for children doing after school classes, like you cant hear yourself eating your tea loud. Cars generally have private plates trying to make an actual word.

Lovely bloke further up was threatened by a dad after asking a weekend footballing boy to not knock the mud off his shoes all over the blokes drive.

Same lovely bloke further up was threatened by another football dad after asking him to not rip the mesh fence down to avoid walking 30 m round to a gate.

Football moms and dads often totally bloke the entrance to a bridleway I ride to the local trail on, my lock on ends have a few different colours of paint on them.

I cannot fathom parking across a drive. It does not compute. Road outside a house fair game but across a drive?? It's a drive! What's going through people's heads when they park over a drive?

It's a pretty simple offence of causing an obstruction. Whether or not the presence of a dropped kerb is necessary is another matter.

Football moms and dads often totally bloke the entrance to a bridleway

Example of a typo that should be a real verb, especially when it comes to football dads 🙂

It's a pretty simple offence of causing an obstruction.

Just had a quick look up and the highway code rule 243 says
[i]DO NOT stop or park:
...
in front of an entrance to a property[/i]
Which is an advisory rather than a 'must not'

Football moms and dads often totally bloke the entrance to a bridleway
Example of a typo that should be a real verb, especially when it comes to football dads

I also use the BW to walk my dog on so will often be carrying bags of dog shit, a certain thought has often crossed my mind...

Why does adding a dropped kerb (or sometimes just knocking down your front wall) suddenly change that?

[i]dropped kerb [/i]

Try getting one put in (legally), and you'll find out why it's different.

There's a church near my Mum that has a fair bit of crazy parking going on, obviously Catholic guilt syndrome doesn't kick in when you're in a car. Good Christians - bad parkers.

Our house backs on to a primary school, with all the usual parking carnage outside. Our street is approximately 200 yards to the school and always has plenty of space to park at nine and three o clock, I have never ever seen a single parent park up and drop a kid off or do the two minute walk to the school with their kids, they all, without exception, park as close as humanly possible to the entrance.

Serves the bourgeois scum right for stealing the land from the oppressed masses

Enjoy!
😕

I live opposite a school, its busy for 10 minutes with drop offs, most people are fine. However there was a couple of incidents

I have now started photographing the incidents and sending them to the head who is compiling them with other parents now doing the same and sending to the police.

Enjoy!

Good grief.