[Closed] School Hols - how to balance work etc.

Nobby, I pretty much do that anyway i.e. Mainly wfh, I start early to ensure I can be with the kids from 4.30 - 7.30 and then often work 7.30 - 9.30 depending on my workload.

If I'm away for work, I'll work late in a Hotel / remote office to ensure that when I arrive home I have some hours spare to spend with the kids.

In summary then I'll be able to work something out over the school hols, but not enough to have 3 entire days to spend with Jnr for a six week run.

Anyway, I think we've work it out (bearing in mind Mrs K only works part time, roughly speaking;

Week 1 - Holiday in suitable kiddie orientated place (Annual Leave)
Week 2 - Holiday in suitable kiddie orientated place (Annual Leave)
Week 3 - 3 days at Kids club
Week 4 - 3 days at Kids club
Week 5 - 3 days at Kids club
Week 6 - 3 days at Kids club

... or thereabouts.

Molegrips the only thing I 'suggested' was we are in our position through planning and hard work not luck. Who mentioned a highly paid job? I said we live within our means to enable one of us not to work. Never said the wife was highly paid

Binners... Yep think pea gravel is my best bet

Krypton .. apologies for the thread hi jack but for just for clarification I was not judging you on your situation or extolling the virtues of mine. I nearly answered York question ... We dealt with the problem by me giving up work, for us the most appropriate solution.

My wife and I have both given up work over the Summer to care for our kids,we do the same for every school holiday. Then when the holidays end we all go back to school. (sorry,no help at all to the OP,but the weather last couple of weeks even up here is making me especially smug) 😀

We have taken my niece and nephew on holiday with us for the last 5yrs to help my sister out over the summer hols. It's been a great way to get to know them better and give our boy a chance to share his holidays. Sadly they are now - too cool for skool - teenagers are not so interested. Although we have over the years got them interested in the outdoors/sports etc... which my sister is 100% not into.

Who mentioned a highly paid job?

If you can afford to live on one salary, then I suggest you're not doing too badly. The median UK salary is about £21k IIRC.

ransos.. I never commented on how 'well we are doing' molegrips was 'putting words in my mouth rather' than reading what I posted.

Guys - go easy on Bernard - he stated made previous efforts and he's adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate living a single wage.

Doesn't mean he's loaded, none of you know his circumstances.

ransos.. I never commented on how 'well we are doing' molegrips was 'putting words in my mouth rather' than reading what I posted.

You were telling us how you could afford your house on one wage. I'm telling you that if this is the case, you're probably earning pretty well.

Guys - go easy on Bernard - he stated made previous efforts and he's adjusted his lifestyle to accommodate living a single wage.

Doesn't mean he's loaded, none of you know his circumstances.

Depends what you mean by loaded. As I said earlier, a glance at average house prices and average wages are instructive.

ransos .... is that right, so theoretically this could not have happened then, when we were both working I could have worked my nut's off, bought a property at the right time, worked my nuts of doing it up sold it at the right time making some money and relocated to a cheaper location bought within our means and then live within our means of my wifes wage?

Oh and just to clarify one point again the whole living off one wage thing was in response to someone suggesting we are in our position through 'luck' I said it was not luck it was hard work and planning

....or a combination of the two? Which is usually the case. Though some have the good grace to acknowledge it, and be thankful. Some don't.

Would you like to borrow this?....

[img] [/img]

binners - nope decided a white loaf would be best.

"ransos .... is that right, so theoretically this could not have happened then, when we were both working I could have worked my nut's off, bought a property at the right time, worked my nuts of doing it up sold it at the right time making some money and relocated to a cheaper location bought within our means and then live within our means of my wifes wage?"

Sounds pretty similar to my situation. It remains the case that a) we could only afford a house in the first place because we both earned above average and b) we can only afford the mortgage with one salary because we both earn well.

Perhaps you might like to consider that salaries are not awarded in accordance with how hard you work, and quit the pious moralising.

ransos .. 'pious moralising' where would that be then? maybe you would be so kind as to highlight the particular bit of my posts you beleive that would apply to? I bought my first house (flat) while earning less than average wage just for info.

'Perhaps you might like to consider that salaries are not awarded in accordance with how hard you work, and quit the pious moralising.'

I said that did I again please highlight where

Molegrips the only thing I 'suggested' was we are in our position through planning and hard work not luck.

And I'm saying that there is always an element of luck. You live in a country that provides good opportunities to most people, you presumably aren't born with a severe mental impairment, mental illness or serious personality flaw. You have natural aptitude for something at least.. That's what I am talking about.

bought a property at the right time

If that's not luck, I don't know what is.

I was merely asking how others balance the issues to glean the benefit of thier experience.

I married a teacher. HTH.

"ransos .. 'pious moralising' where would that be then? maybe you would be so kind as to highlight the particular bit of my posts you beleive that would apply to? I bought my first house (flat) while earning less than average wage just for info. "

Yes, and no doubt you bought it many years ago when prices were lower and mortgages were much easier to obtain.

The average house price is £239k, and the average wage is £21k. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that even with the most careful planning and prudence, cutting down hours simply isn't an option for a great many people.

As I say, this isn't sour grapes on my part as I'm in a similar situation to you, but I'm able to recognise that there was a large slice of luck about it, rather than pure awesomeness on my part.

ransos .. 'pious moralising' where would that be then?

True. Not pious moralising or self-congratulatory posturing at all. Its more of a celebration of your genius, and the no-luck-inolved-here-sonny, pure hard graft, you-too-could-be-like-me-if-only-tried-hard-enough attitude that took you to the not-even-slightly-privileged position you find yourself in, in our famously utopian, opportunity-for-all meritocracy

"ransos .. 'pious moralising' where would that be then? maybe you would be so kind as to highlight the particular bit of my posts you beleive that would apply to?

The average house price is £239k, and the average wage is £21k. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that even with the most careful planning and prudence, cutting down hours simply isn't an option for a great many people

molegrips....'If that's not luck, I don't know what is' Why is it luck?

And I'm saying that there is always an element of luck. You live in a country that provides good opportunities to most people, you presumably aren't born with a severe mental impairment, mental illness or serious personality flaw. You have natural aptitude for something at least.. That's what I am talking about

binners...no it's the red pen I think I will use today.

molegrips....'If that's not luck, I don't know what is' Why is it luck?

Buying at the right time? Of course it's luck. House prices being low co-incided with the time you were ready to buy.

are you saying the asence of having bad luck is essentially good luck?

Of course it is.

Buying at the right time? Of course it's luck. House prices being low co-incided with the time you were ready to buy.

Of course it is

So everyone is currently in a state of good or bad luck there is no middle ground?

No, most people have a mixture of good and bad luck. It's really not difficult to comprehend.

No, most people have a mixture of good and bad luck. It's really not difficult to comprehend.

Nope what I find hard to comprehend is the way people assume they know about a complete strangers life and can happliy infer that that persons life is the way it is because of 'luck' and that overides all other influences as the determining factor of a persons life progression.

And lets just have a little look at what started this it was posted

'you are lucky you can afford to'

part of my response was to say '...it was not luck it was hard work ...'

Would you care to highlight where I have said I have not had good luck or been fortunate?

Nope what I find hard to comprehend is the way people assume they know about a complete strangers life

No, you misunderstand. I'm not trying to say anything about you personally. What I mean is that for anyone to do well, an element of luck is required. Or if you prefer, you need to avoid bad luck.

I've not said people succeed ONLY because of luck. But you need good luck AND hard work, as I said earlier. Some need more luck than others, some need to work harder than others.

No, you misunderstand. I'm not trying to say anything about you personally. What I mean is that to do well, you need an element of luck. Or if you prefer, you need to avoid bad luck.

I've not said people succeed ONLY because of luck. But you need good luck AND hard work, as I said earlier. Some need more luck than others, some need to work harder than others

maybe I have, as above the original post was ' you are lucky you can afford to ' I hear this alot and as I said it gets on my tit's it would imply the reason for our cicumstances is down to 'luck' it is not, not once did I say I have never had luck but the overiding reason we are in the position is due to the efforts mentioed before. I will not repeat them because certain individuals appear to take offence at this and throw accusations around about my intentions.

So why are you queuing up to berate him for it? Are you trying to act like parents to a wayward child or something? OP is an adult. What are you expecting? The OP to issue a statement of surrender admitting that you are better than him? Would that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside?

And again Mr Molegrips if any of this was directed at me I will refer you to my original response.

You really need to calm down...

You really need to calm down...

I'm perfectly calm thanks for your concern, maybe a little irked at the accusations thrown my way by certain individuals but other than that I'm fine

I'm perfectly calm thanks for your concern

You don't seem it... In fact, you seem somewhat:

irked

I'm calmly irked I havent even used shouty capitals in any of my posts

"maybe I have, as above the original post was ' you are lucky you can afford to '"

You are.

😀

"maybe I have, as above the original post was ' you are lucky you can afford to '"

You are

The previous posts/discussions were mildly entertaining that would just be tedious

Well I think you're all being a bit harsh on bernard, the boy's done well, good luck to him!

Back to the OP though, the missus and I both work 4 day weeks now so that helps a bit with the amount of holidays we get but we still need help from parents and stuff to cover the summer holidays.

Just a word about the holiday clubs though, My lad (5 just finishi9ng reception year) goes to breakfast club and after school club twice a week. This is fine, but a lot of the summer club things they put on are directed at older kids, and I think he wouldn't like to be there for a full day, let alone most of the week. He loves school but doesn't get that much out of the before and after school things. Another couple of years time and he'll probably rather be there playing football than hanging around with the grandparents all the time though.

Well I think you're all being a bit harsh on bernard, the boy's done well, good luck to him!

There's no such thing as luck

😉

The previous posts/discussions were mildly entertaining that would just be tedious

Possibly unlucky for you then, as I found it mildly amusing - I suppose I'm lucky after all 🙂

I suppose I'm lucky after all

Not if what your other half told me about you is true

"The previous posts/discussions were mildly entertaining that would just be tedious "

Au contraire: you're moderately amusing.

Both Mrs Me and me work full time, me Monday to Friday, her Monday to Saturday with Friday off. We relocated oop north three years ago, away from family. Got two kids, both at school.

In term time we have to use a child minder to drop kids off and collect from school five days a week. Now, during the school holswe're both still at work so still have to rely on child minder. However, since its holiday times we have to pay for all day cover. For August this is going to come in at c.£1k for the month. Now, we're away for 10 days of that on a family holiday, but still have to pay the full child care costs. That winds me up. Obviously when the child minder takes holiday we dont have to pay her, but at all other times fees are charged.

For August this is going to come in at c.£1k for the month. Now, we're away for 10 days of that on a family holiday, but still have to pay the full child care costs. That winds me up. Obviously when the child minder takes holiday we dont have to pay her, but at all other times fees are charged.

It's the same with our nursery. You can understand it though - it's not as if they can take other work on to cover the loss in income.

Classic post, amazed that having decided to raise a child your now asking on a bike forum how to deal with balancing work and childcare on a bike forum... God help mankind we really are doomed...maybe sit down with OH and agree if raising a child is something you think should be a serious decision or ask on here instead. Reign in the spending, downsize and one of U work parttime it worked for the previous generations.open

Raising children in expensive shocker...

This thread is ace. Bernard may not be lucky but we are lucky to have him. Keep it up everyone.

Never said I wasnt lucky.....

The problem is, bernard, that your posts imply that anyone can succeed if they work hard. Now the implication of that is that if you haven't done well, you haven't worked hard enough.

That's a very damaging point of view imo.

Back on topic, have you considered cryogenicly freezing the kids for the summer holiday - would solve the whole childcare issue until term starts again, at which point you could just thaw them out?

Dear Mr Molegrips....Nope I disagree I think if you work hard you can succeed the measure of that success is purely your own measure of what you consider sucess.

I never implied that if you havent done well it is due to lack of hard work, I stated that in our case I beleive we are in the position we are in due to hard work and planning not luck.

Other than the fact I do not work and my wife does and we own our house (along with the bank) you do not know if we are 'successful'. At no point did I hold up our situation as a measure of 'success' that was other members of the forum with their own agenda who said that and then tried to imply I was using it as a stick to beat people who are not in our situation.

nwilko - Member
Classic post, amazed that having decided to raise a child your now asking on a bike forum how to deal with balancing work and childcare on a bike forum... God help mankind we really are doomed...maybe sit down with OH and agree if raising a child is something you think should be a serious decision or ask on here instead. Reign in the spending, downsize and one of U work parttime it worked for the previous generations.

Not sure what your problem is tbh. I never said regretted my kids hadn't got my own ideas or couldn't afford the solutions. I have of course googled options myself. It's a weaker man that pretends he can't ask the advice of others IMO, and such is the diversity of life something I haven't thought of may be posted by another.

How the **** did you surmise I somehow didnt consider raising my kinds as "serious"?

Idiot.

... and we own our house (along with the bank) ...

You own a bank??

well how else do you think I can afford not to work I have to fund the estate and fancy cars somehow and the nanny wont work for free

See, some people make their own luck...

But hang on, if he owns a bank, and the UK government owns most of the banks since their luck ran out, does that mean we get his money?

Dear Mr Molegrips....Nope I disagree I think if you work hard you can succeed the measure of that success is purely your own measure of what you consider sucess.

I never implied that if you havent done well it is due to lack of hard work, I stated that in our case I beleive we are in the position we are in due to hard work and planning not luck.

😆 brilliant

I never implied that if you haven't done well it is due to lack of hard work

I'm admittedly not very bright (I wasn't lucky enough to be, unfortunately), but that is [i]exactly[/i] what you implied. Actually, you pretty much stated it. Repeatedly.

What's it like, being you?

binners - Member

I'm admittedly not very bright

+1

Although Binners, you are now a journo for one of the UK's premier bike mags - was that luck or hard work on your part, and do you consider yourself to be successful?

😀

Unlike bernard I avoid hard work like the plague. Though this has had a consistently detrimental effect on my luck. Actually.... he may have a point after all. Curses!

😉

Go on then binners where did I imply that?

I don't think I mentioned anyone's situation other than my own

Unfortunately I can play much today much I have things to do

Now see, I'm not very bright and on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being red eyeballs work ethic I work about er, 7? I rely on a bit of luck.

I invested in Gold once and made £2.5k in six weeks. That was lucky. However, the Lottery has cost me more than I've won.

nwilko , your spot on.I'm with you on this one.I work with couple's that say. I'm lucky that I can afford my wife to work parttime.there is no luck,do you think my wife's likes cleaning offices five daysa week at four hrs every evening.we put our children first, we are not a two car family don'thave expensive phones,sky tv.our holiday coming up its 10days in the new forest.yet those who say my wife can't afford to pack up ,.have two cars two iPhones -one is even paying £110 month for sky, other spending £ 2500 on a holiday abroad.my children break up today and my wife wil be with them every day.then go to her cleaning job.rant over.

[b]Woooohooooooooooooo[/b]

Someone else has come along to tell us how ****ing great they are, and loftily pontificate on how much better (and morally admirable) their life choices are than everyone elses!

Oh goody! Do go on.......

The OP was, perfectly reasonably, after some advice. Not repeated lectures from the moral high ground of the Daily Mail corner 🙄

Coxy17 - What difference does any of that make to my OP, which is about organising our time in the School holiday period?

Why have people entered into lifestyle bashing on this thread?

Edit: Ah, realisation has dawned - as a family we I need to be a real man and force my wife to give up her career and take up meneal work, and my kids to expect less from life.

Well, thanks for that sparkle of advice, I'm choosing not to take it.

Because parenthood is about suffering, clearly. If you're not consumed with bitterness at the rest of society, you're doing it wrong 😉

Damn me to hell for enjoying myself working, at the expense of a higher quality of life for me children!

Hold on though - is this leading to the fact that leaving work and going on benefits is the best form of parenting - ie get paid enough, yet be at home all day?

Because parenthood is about suffering, clearly. If you're not consumed with bitterness at the rest of society, you're doing it wrong

Reminds me of when my brother went to his GP saying he had symptoms of depression (this was about a year after their first son was born). The GP said, it's not depression, it's called being a Parent - but the symptoms can be very similar. Give it 20 years and it will clear up of it's own accord.

🙂

binners still waiting for you to prove where I have done anything other than describe how we got to our situation ...you seem to be a balanced person I will admit it is lucky you have a chip on both shoulders.

Hello Mr Pot, meet Mr Kettle......

[img] https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTg2k_1axvrb54enTdCx4KEKaOHAh-KuVeQKzkb3CAisJbiJQo [/img]

Bored now....

As I imagine I'd have more luck* explaining the nature of your posts to my desk, than getting you to realise why some statements come across as [s]patronising, pompous, preachy, self-righteous, arrogant, and self-aggrandising[/s] controversial

* See what I did there?

binners still waiting for you to prove where I have done anything other than describe how we got to our situation ...you seem to be a balanced person I will admit it is lucky you have a chip on both shoulders.

Does your head get cold?

here is ransos to join in right on cue maybe you can help binners out

the measure of that success is purely your own measure of what you consider sucess

Indeed.

I never implied that if you haven't done well it is due to lack of hard work

You may not have intended to imply that, but you definitely did. Perhaps if you worked a little harder on your language skills...?

You said:

I disagree I think if you work hard you can succeed

So IF everyone can succeed if they work hard, then logically those who have not succeeded have not worked hard.

So IF everyone can succeed if they work hard, then logically those who have not succeeded have not worked hard.

did i say everyone?

bernard, I've never seen goalposts move on their own, so I'm guessing you've worked very hard and are being successful at moving them every few posts.

Biscuits anyone?

Bernard - another 50 posts and this be my biggest ever STW thread.

As you were.... 😉

Kryton, how do you feel about starting this thread now? 🙂

here is ransos to join in right on cue maybe you can help binners out

I think it's pretty clear who needs the help round here.

How did you get to such a lofty station in life with such poor communication skills?

did i say everyone

Well in English, generally, we use the word 'you' in a non specific context meaning anyone. So I assumed you meant 'anyone'. If you mean me specifically, then yes I can succeed if I work hard (although how you'd know that about me, I dunno). For the purposes of text-based communication you may find it easier to be more explcit. Something like this: "I believe you, molgrips, can succeed if you work hard."

However, if you believe that SOME peope can succeed if they work hard, and some cannot, then what's the difference between those who can and cannot?

molgrips - like i said i cant play much today, however I have enjoyed debating 'luck' with you.
I prefer to beleive that we are in our situation through hard work and planning and not 'random chance'. I have never said i havent had 'luck', I have never held up my own situation as a success nor have I 'implied' that if you deemed someone elses situation as not a success it is down to not working hard enough. I have tried to keep the discussion about my situation not other peoples. I would prefer my kids to grow up beleiving that if you work hard and plan rather than leave it to 'random chance' you can be successful (how ever you chose to measure that. I think to say for example my wifes 'sucess' is down in part to 'random chance' belittles the work she put in to acheive her measure of 'sucess'

You may disagree with this and that is your choice, you may interpret it in a different way to how I intend it to be interpreted that is unfortunate and maybe in part down to my language skills.