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If it is more verbal bullying then do what you can to let her know that what they are saying isn't true and that they are just saying anything to upset her. It's amazing how well some of those bullying comments can get stuck in the head and you can start to believe them.
All the advise above from the teachers sounds good and its great that schools are a lot more involved nowadays.
Your advice is just the gift that keeps on giving. 🙂
And your advice is, well you haven't actually as yet managed to suggest any advice, or suggestions or anything for that matter. You do like singling my comments out through, and all im trying to do is offer help.
Now you have a problem with her being enrolled in some sort of self defence class. Just where are you coming from 😕
And your advice is, well you haven’t actually as yet managed to suggest any advice
You need to go back and read again, Spin's offered some decent insight, depends on your interpretation whether it's advice or not but that would be being particularly pedantic.
But you don't need to offer 'advice' to still be justified in pointing out that secretly filming kids is a shite idea.
OTOH - your karate advice is a good suggestion; not so they can go all great vengeance and furious anger, but just the discipline and control that it could bring her as a means of being able to walk away from it.
No it's to do with self esteem and how a bullied child feels about themself. I got my share of it as a kid but i can also handle myself and usually got into at least a couple of fight as week, and always a stalemate, to the point people didnt engage me. Certainly the harder individuals wouldnt go beyond a few nasty words, and this is a Glasgow school covering some pretty rough areas. I did Judo (blue belt before i left) But I could fight anyway, mainly from being forced to defe4nd myself(seems to be a habit even now eh 😕 )
Social media and the papers have plenty of reports of incidents being recorded, including one currently in the news concerning this exact same thing, a couple of nasty girls beating on one girl victim.
I would suggest the outcome of that will have a more positive effect, due it its high profile, than just pretending the school really cares about bullying, and effectively hoping it just dies down.
This however doesnt leave much room and puts the entire onus on the victim.
'Keep your head down' 'dont engage' even to the point of avoid going out at play or lunchtime' so where does that end ?, again it ends with the victim more prone to lasting self esteem and loss of confidence issues.
If actually providing factual evidence isnt your cup of tea, then fighting back is another option, and i would suggest a strong one at that.
Children, especially girls brood on these problems,and that can and does lead to problems in later life.
Enrolled in a self defence class would offer a chance at rebuilding confidence, and im surprised, or even shocked that 'spin' and others cannot see it from that angle.
I've seen what lack of confidence does.
One of my nephews had issues with being smaller than his classmates, and that really worried him even though he was preteen and wouldnt accept he would grow and fill out. Now he's 6'1", pretty solid from years studying karate, and goes to the gym 3 or 4 times a week, has the GF and finished his economics degree in the top 3. He's currently embarking on a 2nd degree in law.
Had we did what is being suggested and do next to nothing, these childhood fears could well have affected him in later life, and he wouldnt be the very confident individual he is now. At the time these fear really upset my nephew and it was hard to watch, despite offering all positives you can.
My sister took positive action. Placed them into the gym, karate and did all to boost his confidence in himself, and it has paid off handsomely.
yes, I would say without a shadow of a doubt placing a bullied teen in a self defence class would regain that lost confidence and help her to grow and develop mentally, and be better for it.
This is of course just my opinion, no need to bully me constantly over it, quoting every point with nothing but derision for daring to make a suggestion. you disagree fine. At least offer a solution, and feel confident i am not going to return the favour so to speak. short answers without any substance to them arent solutions to a problem, just superficial maybe's.
Enough said, its not about me, so i'd prefer it wasnt made such.
The problem with squaring up to bullies so they "go pick on someone else" isn't fair to other kids.
The schools have an obligation to deal with it, which they are getting better with nowadays. You have to go through procedures. A lot of parents unfortunately are telling their kids to bully other kids so they don't get bullied themselves (this may very well be region/social class limited) and many bullies have problems at home that need exposing and dealing with. Reporting could trigger intervention there. Change is needed, not harsh exclusion which can amplify the bully's behaviour.
Sometimes it fails for unusual reasons. Anecdotal: Had a girl at my kid's primary school bullying loads of kids. Report after report went in, but nothing was done. Parents started hitting each other in the playground with bats. Turned out the girl's mother worked in admin and the school got confused about their course of action.
My sister opted to enroll her 2 boys in Karate from a young age…Far as im aware they never had any problems at school.
Worked for me when bullied at school
Now you have a problem with her being enrolled in some sort of self defence class. Just where are you coming from
My apologies, my comment on your karate suggestion was critical without explanation which is poor form.
Whether it's bad advice or not depends on why you're suggesting it. It looked like you were suggesting using it to fight bullies which is poor advice as it sounds like the bullying in question isn't physical violence and for the OP's child to escalate it to that is likely to make matters worse.
If you're suggesting it as an activity to improve confidence etc then there's no harm in that but it would rather depend on the kid actually liking karate!
I got bullied a bit at school. As an adult with nearly 20 years to reflect on the situation I wish I'd just pushed the bully down the stairs when I had the opportunity, and I consider myself pretty laid back.
Appreciate this isn't the advice you or the school want to hear.
When I was bullied by a child at school for a year, I lost it and beat the excrement out of him. He never did it again. The head teacher had to discipline me of course. But he called my mother to say that was going to do so, but personally, he was pleased that I was sticking up for myself. I should add that unbeknown to me until years later (when he would still thrash me at squash), he always looked out for me because my father had died in a road accident a couple of years earlier.
When my own son was bullied, we let the school deal with it. I think social rather than physical bullying is probably more insidious and likely harder to address by my method.
When were you at school though, in my experience (as a pupil and now a parent) schools are way better now at dealing with it.
Ok yeah it was the 90s. But those kids doing the bullying may just go harder as you have ratted on them.
My intention was to point out that not all bullies are the same with the same motivation. School intervention may help. But then it may not. I'd be interested in how schools approach this sort of thing now as my boy starts school next week and is the youngest in the year and we are a small family. Might be a route we can take to hear off the bullying before it starts.