Al - no. I have done the dumping once but not been on the receiving end. Mind you I met my wife at 20 and got married at 24 so it's all a loooong time ago and a bit hazy...
Clubber - it was a rather insensitive relative who was clearly struggling to come up with anything to say. So said something really stupid instead.
He's too AWESOME for that...
Matt - to be fair, I guess that it is very awkward to actually come up with anything appropriate...
Colourway. Quite possibly the one word that makes me actively want to hit someone. It's a frigging colour[b]scheme[/b]!
visa vi
vici verci
devils advocate
Pissed. Meaning annoyed. IT'S PISSED OFF (unless you mean drunk, or are American of course)
I hate the cliche that being drunk is a bad thing...
IT'S PISSED OFF
wasn't someone above complaining about unnecessary prepositions ? Off what exactly ?
The American contraction of '...I couldn't care less...' to '...I COULD care less...' - drives me f'ing mad. Maybe it's the low-rent crop of brain cells in my current clients, but the amount of effort that it takes to not point out that if they could care less about XYZ, then now would be a good time to go ahead and do so, as this is clearly what they are are implying, can get quite extreme...
is a saying bandied about by religious/supersticious types."everything happens for a reason"
Totally irrational thinking and most unhelpful!
'There is no God'
Really? Prove it!
(My work here is done... :wink:)
+1 for "plenty more fish in the sea". Well yes, there are, but I don't particularly want to try to establish a long term relationship with a fish, do I? Although it may smell better and have more personality...
Also: "Cheap at half the price" - so does that mean it's expensive at the price it is now? Surely it should be "cheap at twice the price"?
"It's all going a bit Pete Tong", or most cockney slang come to think of it.
"It's all going pear-shaped" - well, what difference does the shape of it make?
Bristolbiker! That's the one I was trying to think of - "I could care less", meaing you actually do care, even if it's just a bit.
"Blown to Smithereens"
Where the **** is Smithereens????
Is it just outside Glasgow?
I assumed a Smithereen was a measurement of size, rather than a destination.
Edit: this is interesting but inconclusive: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/blown-to-smithereens.html
Actual.
As in "this is the actual house they live in" - what, as opposed to the "pretend house".
And redundancy in all its forms.
And BBC newscasters who keep saying "South Island" instead of "the South Island" in reference to the earthquake. It doesn't have a name, we didn't just name them South and North you morons, it's not Australia you know.
Where the **** is Smithereens????
it's what you get when you blow stuff up...
"with the best will in the world" aka I can't be bothered
The highly overused "Part and parcel" WTF?
As in "this is the actual house they live in" - what, as opposed to the "pretend house".
Alternatively, it's not a house that was subsequently built on the same location, it's not a reconstruction of the original house.
"It's always in the last place you look"... well obviously, you don't carry on looking for things after you've found them!
Push the envelope
***k right off!!!
Scott Mills annoys me with his use of the word "actual" in stupid places. Like when he met "Actual David Acutual Hasselhoff" go f*ck yourself Mills. Learn to actually speak actually correctly.
gonefishin:
If they live in the house - it is by definition the house they are living in, no need for the actual, that's redundant.
The only time one could maybe defend the use of "acutal" is the past tense, but even then its dodgy for example "the actual house Jimi Hendrix used to live in" when you could just say "the house Jimi Hendrix lived in" and we would understand, no real need to say that it isn't a reconstruction, because if it was, well then you would say that.
The whole language of pubs/cafes/restaurants has changed in the South East in the last few years, with people around me asking if they "can get" something, and staff starting every sentance with "obviously", and finishing with "at all" or "today", and then when you are served something is it now complusory to say "enjoy your meal" whilst turning and walking away and with a tone that clearly indicates you don't give a flying ****?
In a pub in Sussex recently I was met at the bar by a member of staff who said "are you allright today, Sir?" before I'd finished telling that I was well and wishing him the same he was pouring a pint for someone else. What happend there?
"Blown to Smithereens"Where the **** is Smithereens????
It's next tae ****, pal.
"A big ask" - usually said by Evan Davies on the 'Today' programme.
"I'm good"
"That begs the question" when it doesn't.
And anything by Jeremy Clarkson! 😀
The American contraction of '...I couldn't care less...' to '...I COULD care less...' - drives me f'ing mad.
I'm not sure that's an Americanism so much as a stupidism. Stole my thunder a little though, because I was going to post the same thing. So, I'll say Malapropism'ed phrases generally.
'I could care less' (so you are actually quite bothered then?), 'it's six of one and a dozen of the other' (so, quite different actually?), and the use of "literally" in phrases like 'he's riding so well, he's literally on fire!' There's a lot of others that I can't immediately bring to mind, too.
Oh, and not a saying exactly, but people who say "draw" when they mean "drawer" will be first against the wall when I'm in charge.
[i]people who say "draw" when they mean "drawer[/i]
Sorry, I've tried. But I can't make them sound different. 🙁
"at the end of the day"
"Invested in" does my nut in. Normally as in "I've invested in a chicken sandwich", or any other object from which you cannot expect any return...
I also used to work with a woman who used the term "pre-warning" when she actually meant warning - "I'm just ringing to give you a pre-warning that your appointment is booked for half 2 on Wednesday".
"Can't do.."
Why?
"Well, it's Elf n Safety isn't it?"
Really grips my s*** it's not H&S, it's misinformed idiots making poor descisions, or not having the balls to say no..
cue arguments on a weekly basis with my dad.. I think I'm more qualified that the tw@s that write for the Daily Mail, but he still believes them "because it's in the paper"
The constant bloody misuse / abuse of the word "like", which seems to find its inapproriate and mind-bendingly irritating way at least 240 times into any sentence if trhe speaker is under 20. It does really, really annoy me as it's meaningless and I hear it about 100000000000 times over on every journey to work.
.....and breathe!
My old boss would keep saying 'go on...' everytime you told him something. he'd just keep saying it until you ran out of stuff to say and then say 'oh...' and leave a silence as if you've not explained yourself fully when you clearly have.
"This software is terribe, we need to rewrite it'
"go on.."
"80% of the code is redundant, its inefficient, and it won't work with office 2007"
"go on"
"thats it"
"oh"
then he'd talk about something he felt was more important like "the coffee situation".
Women addressing one another (informally) as "Mrs", as in "how you doing Mrs?" - I'm not entirely sure why, but it makes my flesh crawl.
"a big ask" - annoying and meaningless, given the availability of the far more pleasant "a tall order". The latter conjures such amusing imagery for me, the former is lumpen and meaningless.
"big style" in place of "very much so" or "very well indeed".
I have countless others, but would prefer to avoid infuriating myself by listing them.
Many are borne of the TV sports pundit - usually not the commentator, who describes what is happening for the benefit of the blind, but more commonly the co-commentator or pundit, whose job I can't fully comprehend. Surely stating the patently obvious after the event would be a job done far more entertainingly done by someone witty and erudite, rather than someone with frankly unnecessary first-hand experience. What is television supposed to be, after all, if not entertainment? Replace Chris Kamara with David Mitchell for instance, it'd improve matters, er, big style. Now back to the studio.
"Comes up" in reference to the size of a pair of shorts, which is all over this forum. Said shorts not been down Sankey's on a Saturday night getting ****ted
Good news sandwich, as is...
"You have a beautiful daughter..."
"I've *****d your daughter..."
"You're gonna be a grand daddy!"
"Big time" used in place of an exclamation.
Dragon's Den when they say "Now let me tell you where i am". You're in the ****in studio you numpty!!
"Ahead of the curve". I have no idea what that means!
"in the ball park". Oi mate, why not use a simple, single word like "roughly"??
Grrrrr 😆
Many are borne of the TV sports pundit - usually not the commentator, who describes what is happening for the benefit of the blind, but more commonly the co-commentator
Mark Bright is my particular favourite for sheer inanity. But, better still, is his ability to describe events that have taken place using the present tense. I know footballers are thick (I used to work with an ex-Man Utd player), but FFS if it happened before now you can't describe it as "he kicks the ball and then he turns to the ref".
Yes, any historical event described in the present tense is annoying.
The people who make those tacky police stop, or crime investigation programs have a habit of doing that.
Hels .... And BBC newscasters who keep saying "South Island" instead of "the South Island" in reference to the earthquake. It doesn't have a name, we didn't just name them South and North you morons
Presumably then, if they're not named I can call them what I like - say, the sausagey one and the pointy one ? 😉
People that say "well life isn't fair" when they're doing something completely unfair.
All management jargon, blue sky thinking, touching base etc etc.
I'd like to write a short piece including [b]all[/b] the hates above, but I'm like too lazy innit ?
People who finish a sentence with the word "innit" ! 😆
When cockneys say "apples and pears, guvnor", Tasty.
