Rude....
 

[Closed] Rude....

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Be the change people, be the change.

We need more of this. In these dark days (literally and figuratively) your positive outlook does you credit OP.

I'm also a positive vibes chap on a bike (it would appear all the others on my commute going the other way are too). If they don't wave, well I've still been positive hopefully the other person isn't having a crisis and will be more positive tomorrow.


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 9:26 am
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My sister in law lives in London, I live in a little village in Worcestershire. Whenever she comes to visit she can't handle the fact that my fellow villagers will greet her with a cheery hello, it really freaks her out.

It couldn't have been her though she commutes on an electric foldable scooter

In all seriousness though I'll wave or speak to other riders unless I'm riding tandem with the black dog when I just ride on thinking of other stuff over and over


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 10:10 am
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Solar I am in total agreement with you and thank you for your post.

Sadly it is the case that there are a lot of ignorant dickheads around. And sadly I think this situation is going to get worse until someone turns the internet off.

You however are making the world a better place.


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 1:16 pm
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You got your answer back along from bob_summers

2C and raining today. Out for 3 hours on a classic road loop I saw maybe 8 other riders. The more hardcore they were the less perceptible the greeting. Lifting pinky and ring finger by far the most common amongst those who looked like they had been out before sun up.

I don’t believe anyone didn’t acknowledge but it’s hard to miss the slight raise of a head when it’s lashing down.


 
Posted : 13/12/2020 1:25 pm
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Reminds of a few years back when I rode the Trans-Cambrian Way with my Dad. We hadn't seen a single other cyclist in a couple of days, and then on a remote hilly bit we saw an MTB coming towards us from far in the distance.... 15 mins later we all arrived at the same gate, which we held open for him. Not a thanks, not a hello, not even a perceptible nod 🙂

My Dad and I just looked at each other and laughed. And then obviously started a thread on STW about it. 😉


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 9:14 am
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The more hardcore they were the less perceptible the greeting.

Awww bless, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better/ superior.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 9:17 am
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And then obviously started a thread on STW about it.

Obviously, and don't forget the part about being judgemental about the people who may not acknowledge you.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 9:21 am
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I have had an email this morning from Scottish Government Health campaign folk and NHS Scotland campaign folk.

The OP will be pleased to know that saying 'hello' and being cheery out on a walk or ride is now being encouraged up here for the next few weeks. Their aim is not only to get people outdoors and active, but cheery and spreading happiness.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 9:30 am
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This is a bit of a thing in motorcycling too. Bikers generally nod to each other in UK or wave elsewhere where they ride on the right. Conventional wisdom has it that BMW GS and Harley riders are the “roadies” of the motorbike world and don’t wave back, but that’s not my experience.

I was going to post something similar. I quite like the biker nod, it's just acknowledging someone else's similar interest or hobby. I find those most likely to not reciprocate ride adventure style bikes, so very much a GS!

I would normally wave/say hello when out on the MTB also but seems there are some miserable sods who might choose to ignore me. Ditto when out the motorbike.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 9:35 am
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I do find this an odd one. IME that there is a correlation between serious roadies and not greeting you and also what I am wearing make a difference. If i am in lycra I am more likely to be acknowledged than if i am in ordinary clothes

But in many situations I do not do it. some rides I might pass 50 cyclists. Same when out walking. The further from civilisation and the worse the weather the more likely I am to acknowledge others doing the same thing

Roadies in full team / club kit are the least likely to acknowledge me. My guess is because subconsciously they do not see me as part of "the club" as i am not wearing the uniform

Basically roadies are miserable sods judging by their faces.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 9:37 am
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I tell you what is rude. Stopping for another rider on a trail to let them past and they don't give you so much of an acknowledgement. Couldn't care less if someone doesn't respond to a nod or a hello but not saying thank you really makes my p1$$ boil.

Rode a section of shared bridleway on Saturday happily dinging my bell and and greeting all the people walking along then 2 other riders come the other way, I fall in with some walkers to let them by...not so much of a thank you to any one. That there is one of the reasons people hate mountain bikers.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 9:44 am
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I usually give a wave, nod or eyebrow raise of some kind - but I don't get huffy when it's not returned.

I'm aware people might be in a bad place mentally (or physically if they're struggling to stay with their group), so I take no offence if I get blanked.

Strangely, I get much more miffed when walkers ignore my greetings. What excuse do those ****ers have, eh?


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 9:53 am
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I always say hello to someone i pass..unless they look like a weirdo or pervert, in which case I avoid all eye contact and speed on by with my head down..

Makes you think OP...


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 10:49 am
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Obviously, and don’t forget the part about being judgemental about the people who may not acknowledge you.

Let it go already.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 11:43 am
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I won't be letting it go, it is another of my "traits"

IME that there is a correlation between serious roadies and not greeting you and also what I am wearing make a difference

Very true. If I ride my bike with drop bars installed I get hello's from road bike riders (which I ignore, obviously 🙂 )
However, if I switch to riser bars (same bike, same clothes) they all ignore me.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 11:55 am
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Out on the bike I always wave and say hello to other humans,cows,sheep and horses.I even wave at motorbikes when I forget that I am cycling.

I expect nothing in return*

*I do hope that this post helps the thread on it's way to a 100.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 12:06 pm
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Endophins probably also play a role. By a third into a decent ride my brain is basically in puppy-mode, needing to rush up to strangers because everything is just so brilliant.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 12:10 pm
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I always say hello to someone i pass..unless they look like a weirdo or pervert, in which case I avoid all eye contact and speed on by with my head down..

Makes you think OP…

Made me laugh. But I’m still going to be an annoyingly happy waver.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 12:15 pm
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I always say hello to someone i pass..unless they look like a weirdo or pervert, in which case I avoid all eye contact and speed on by with my head down..

Now I understand why no one waves to me


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 12:16 pm
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Don't explain someone else's joke TJ 😉


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 12:22 pm
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I missed it!


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 12:53 pm
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Endophins probably also play a role.

And Endolphins. Very friendly, intelligent creatures.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 1:01 pm
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Did you do that on porpoise Martin?


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 1:14 pm
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Arrrr! I've never said hello - or not said hello - to a dolphin when out on the bike. If that's rude of me, so be it.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 1:39 pm
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Arrrr!

Bloody pirates coming on shore and abusing our roadies, they’ve been doing it since pirates is been pirates.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 1:49 pm
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Arrrr! I’ve never said hello – or not said hello – to a dolphin when out on the bike

pirate


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 1:52 pm
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Manners cost nothing.

Something I've never forgotten and try to never let slip. It really is as simple as that.

Another thank you to sola for starting this thread from me.

Obviously a huge generalisation, but the world really would be a more pleasant place if everyone just tried being polite and pleasant to each other more of the time: precisely what the OP is trying to do.

I too find it difficult to understand why someone can't even muster a "hello" as a response to a passing greeting from me. It hardly takes a lot of effort.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 1:58 pm
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A well known local surfer (and surf shop owner) decided to paddle his SUP across the channel from here to Ilfracombe a few years ago. He got to mid channel and spotted a kayaker heading in the opposite direction. He got a bit miffed when the kayaker didn't even look in his direction, never mind respond to his cheery hello. I'm guessing that kayakers are the roadies of the watery depths?


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 2:28 pm
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kayakers are the roadies of the watery depths?

*waves 👋

Marathon kayakers are the roadies of the watery depths. Whitewater kayakers are the mountainbikers of the water, and sea kayakers can be basically a bit odd. 😉


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 2:34 pm
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SUP</blockquote Its an ebike thing.
Like a small step above a goatboat. Better than a speedbump though.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 2:37 pm
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I’m guessing that sea kayakers are the roadies of the watery depths?

You forgot one crucial word.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 2:37 pm
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Did you do that on porpoise Martin?

Just trying to bring a bit of humanatee into such an upsetting thread.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 2:52 pm
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From the sublime to the ridiculous! This thread should at least win the 'zig-zag' award in the thread of the year competition!

Thanks for the levity.

If I meet a man marathon kayaking, a Dolphin or Kerley on my next ride, I'll be sure to ignore them.


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 3:17 pm
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I too find it difficult to understand why someone can’t even muster a “hello” as a response to a passing greeting from me. It hardly takes a lot of effort.

I know, common courtesy ’n’all that; other cyclists were usually happy to nod in acknowledgment, even roadie scum, when I used to ride and nodded to other like-minded users of public highways and byways. Even when I was wearing baggies, loose tops and using flat pedals.
Pedestrians and dog-walkers, on the other hand, dusting off and nuking from orbit would be too good for them!
Complaining if I rang my bell, complaining if I didn’t ring my bell, deliberately walking in a group across the towpath/trail/byway, allowing small children and dogs to wander uncontrollably into the path of others... 🤬


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 8:23 pm
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Just read the thread...what the hell is MSP on?

Also, has it been mentioned that all gravel riders are pervs as they always seem to ride in threesomes?

I'll just throw that out there.😉


 
Posted : 14/12/2020 8:51 pm
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deliberately walking in a group across the towpath/trail/byway, allowing small children and dogs to wander uncontrollably into the path of others

You see, to me, I see that as rude as they are not following what I would see as the "rules" of shared paths whereas I still don't get why I should say hello to those same strangers so don't find not speaking to strangers rude.
We all have different things going on in our heads...


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 7:34 am
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‘Rule no 1’ is by default broken if no-one can agree on all of the other ‘rules’

Pedestrians and dog-walkers, on the other hand,

🙄

Last night slowly walking with the dog (he’s very old now and gets a stroller 9/10ths of the way) and Mrs P along pavements and some common paths. We’re travelling along an unlit narrow pavement section (with a torch) and a man (runner) runs up close behind us and then straight out into the busy A road, car behind him blasts horn, narrow miss, runner nips back in and carries on fortunately unscathed. Now if he’d spoken up as he approached from behind, and had maybe possibly even slowed down a little, we’d have been quite happy to move aside into the verge so he could pass. He was entirely unlit and no reflectors so clearly uninterested in being seen.

20 minutes later we’re walking across the corner of the common towards joining pavement and an MTBer approaches along the pavement. It’s dark he has no lights. He then splits off from the pavement, 20 feet in front of us and approaching us on the path (very narrow like a sheep path)

So we stop and move aside (as he has his head down and is making no attempts to communicate). He just silently steams on through. Entitled?

‘You’re welcome’ (I may have said out loud after he’d passed)

Another 10 minutes in town still on pavement a pinched-faced pedestrian approaches along the footpath and as I slow and attempt eye-contact he speeds up, makes no eye-contact and rushes between us so closely that I involuntarily hold my breath.

Lesson? Doesn’t pay to generalise. There are plenty of self-absorbed ‘me first’ DGAS tossers to go around, they may be in cars, vans, mobility scooters, on bikes, on foot etc etc. They may have their ‘reasons’ for not giving consideration to or even endangering people they meet along the way. I just prefer to assume I don’t know what their ‘reasons’ are. Otherwise I’ll wind up bitter, complaining, and writing to the Daily Wail or STW forum. Maybe even generalising.

But yeah, but...about them roadies...


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 8:11 am
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You see, to me, I see that as rude as they are not following what I would see as the “rules” of shared paths whereas I still don’t get why I should say hello to those same strangers so don’t find not speaking to strangers rude.
We all have different things going on in our heads…

I don't think that in general terms not speaking to strangers is perceived as rude by most people. People pass each other, neither says anything - fine.

It's not responding when someone DOES offer a greeting that is. If someone offers a cheery "hello" and a smile, even a curt "hi" is all that's required to reciprocate. To deliberately choose to withhold that, knowing the other person is likely to be offended seems to me to be the very definition of rudeness. But I understand the last line of your post and your earlier contributions to the thread and am trying to understand why some people don't see it like that.

You acknowledge there is a set of "rules" in the shared path scenario which you would see as rude if broken (I agree by the way).

Can you see that there is a much more widely held set of societal "rules" about responding if someone greets you? One that requires very little effort to comply with.

I'm not having a pop, I am genuinely interested and trying to understand. Perhaps so I can moderate my own annoyance when my attempts at sharing a bit of human warmth on the hill or trail get rebuffed!


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 8:43 am
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so I can moderate my own annoyance when my attempts at sharing a bit of human warmth on the hill or trail get rebuffed!

Best to just laugh it off. Don’t overthink it. If it helps to assume that every time you are ignored/rebuffed it means that the non-respondent is merely autistic + unaware/unwilling/unable (delete as applicable) to play by the ‘rules’ then go for it, but you’ll be wrong a lot of the time. Some people are just shy, or just miserable, or just having a bad day, or depressed, or deaf, or culturally distant with strangers, distracted, wearing earbuds, etc... or....just plain rude.


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 9:06 am
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I'm with you @solarider

The northern fell runner of my youth comes out when I'm on the bike. I say hello/wave/nod to everyone not in a car (even some car drivers who've been courteous in some way) when I'm out on the bike. It costs very little.

I don't expect an acknowledgement, but it's nice when they reciprocate.


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 9:28 am
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Can you see that there is a much more widely held set of societal “rules” about responding if someone greets you?

I can see them but they don't really trigger in my head and get logged as a "rule" which explains why social interaction is a struggle for me.
As I said earlier, if someone I know said hello to me I would consider it rude to not acknowledge them but if a stranger on a bike or in a car waves at me or gestures in some other way I just wonder why they have done that as I don't know them.


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 9:45 am
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I may look like a serial killer (although with a gozzy eye and visage like dali's clock, maybe a surreal killer) but I am firmly in the he cheerful camp. I aknowledge folks riders, walkers,horsey types, becuase it makes me happy, if folks dont want to respond so what, Im still in my happy bubble. Even worse for folks like MSP, I ride freaky niche custom bikes, have rings all over the show and am more tattooes than skin....I must reek of a being a positive attention vortex. if my cheerful attentiony presence fills them rage and a righteous feeling of snobbery and one upmanship about being better than me....ace, its still a positive outcome as they feel better about themselves 🙂


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 9:50 am
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Anyone else wave to those with the same vehicle?

I drive a Toyota Hiace van and quite often wave to other Toyota Hiace vanists.

Most of them ignore me. I don't see that as rude as such, just that they're not so pumped as me to see another of the Hiace massive about.

That, or they just think 'who's that Richard?'


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 9:54 am
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Strangely, I get much more miffed when walkers ignore my greetings. What excuse do those **** have, eh?

At risk of opening a new front, I think pissed off a few spanish walkers in the Picos when passing a group after about the 15th "hola" I reverted to the yorkshire nod, not always perceptible to non-yorks folk, and got a couple of what I can only describe as sarcastic ¡Hola! s in response. Hey ho.


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 9:57 am
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Kerley, thanks. I will try to log that away for when it might help me understand an interaction in future 👍


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 9:59 am
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Spain sounds a bit like Switzerland. "Grüß dich" every other step.


 
Posted : 15/12/2020 5:31 pm
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but if a stranger on a bike or in a car waves at me or gestures in some other way I just wonder why they have done that as I don’t know them.

So you have a two minute memory as well as being on the spectrum? So you know that strangers might wave at you for various societal reasons, it's happened before and you know what the expected societal response is (a wave back, or some other polite response) and yet it confuses you every single time it happens?


 
Posted : 16/12/2020 8:00 am
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That, or they just think ‘who’s that Richard?’

Only because it's not a T5. 😂


 
Posted : 16/12/2020 8:32 am
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