MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Vent about the annoyances in your day that aren't quite worth a thread of their own. This is not the place for meandering, self indulgent rants with random caps lock and bad spelling. Keep your rants concise and try to limit it to two rants per post.
I'll start.
Woman in a Yaris driving towards me this morning with her full beams on - flashed the lights at her twice to get her attention. No joy. As she drove past I could see she was staring at her phone.
Michael Gove.
People
I have a cold
Woman in an X5 who I was cycling behind on the way to work - clearly interacting with the passengers in her car (passing water bottles back and forth etc.) was more important than focusing on driving. Weaving all over the road and randomly accelerating/braking hard when she noticed that she wasn't keeping up with/was about to crash into the back of the traffic in front.
I have a cold and a torn hamstring. But I have just bled my brakes and changed the cabling - so the bike is crying out to be ridden.
Brexit.
Big meeting with my boss (the owner of the company I work for) yesterday to discuss a really important piece of work. He turned up hammered, talked rubbish for an hour and then bought shots. I was not chuffed.
Management that don't understand "I'm off work speak to someone else" out of offices.
Black Friday emails.
My phone has been repeatedly buzzing since 6am with more companies jumping on the bandwagon of trying to get me to part with my money.
Today I am not buying anything at all as my own personal protest.
Life
rear fog light when it's not foggy
Pedants who go on about minor motoring misconduct.
Fair enough if it were cars going 70 in a 30. cars flying through the air upside down or on fire... but it never is. It's always "this IDIOT failed to indicate at precisely the moment I would've liked him to" "this NUTTER was driving at 33mph" etc etc...
I am having to test software that implements changed behaviour after 1st Dec on a PC with nntp time sync implemented. Every hour it changes the date back, changing the behaviour I am meant to test.
Because our ****ing developers aren't as competent as you might imagine them to be - the fifth? sixth? "release ready" version of the patch that we have tested and found major problems with.
Like, for example, they implement a button that changes an xml document. Pressing the death button crashes the application and doesn't change the xml document.
I am this >||< far from going on a killing spree with a rusty spoon.
I've just had an email from my home insurers thanking me for renewing my policy with them. It's not due for another 5 days and my irritation at their presumption means I'll now have to go online and see if I can find a better deal.
Bastards.
Stw
Cash points. Would you like a balance ? No
Would you like a receipt with your withdrawal? No
Are you sure you wouldn't like a balance while you wait for your cash? No
Your money is coming would you like to see a free balance? No. JUST GIVE ME THE ******* Money.
Edit: (think I might have broken some of the rules / guidelines for this thread)
Surfs good today and I don’t have time to go.
Surf will be shit tomorrow and Sunday.
I hate surfcams.
[s]Michael Gove[/s] All politicians. Get paid far too much & couldn't run a raffle.
Fox hunting.
People who mention Brexit in every thread. Were'e screwed & we don't have any politicians to sort it. (I voted remain by the skin of my teeth & didn't check/find out how it went till the afternoon, so don't blame me)
Surfs shite today, wasted journey.
Michael Gove.
Conveyancing solicitors! Apart from ours, she's great...it's the **** ** she's trying to deal with 👿
Normal procedure for crisp eating:
open mouth
put crisp in mouth
close mouth
bite down on crisp [muffled crutch sound]
chew
Procedure for colleague opposite:
open mouth
put crisp in mouth
bite down on crisp [massive crutch sound]
close mouth
chew
He's now also started bring these ****ish 'healthy munchable snack box' things ie a small, rattley box of middle-class nuts and seeds. They are even louder
The current lot in Westminster.
rear fog light when it's not foggy
Alan shows you what to do....
Builders in my house at the moment who use my toilet and seem to have a watering can rose on their kn.b. Seems acceptable in building circles to get about 50% in the toilet. Note to self...dont use the toilet in a builders merchant.
idiot down the other end of the office who keeps WHISTLING. Attention seeking pathetic little child! Theme from fools & horses, old war songs, anything BLOODY ANNOYING. Shut up you DICK. What if we ALL sat here whistling?? Thought of that have you? NO. areshole.
Brexit, always Brexit, plus Trump. Yes, Trump and Brexit. That will do for now.
minidisplayport to hdmi...faff
Gove
Brexit
Johnson
idiot down the other end of the office who keeps WHISTLING.
Put a sign on his desk!
last night i went to use the DVD player and it wouldn't eject the old DVD THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS WATCHING! JEEZ....WHY DO THESE THINGS ONLY BREAK WHEN SHE USES THEM!!! 👿
Cash points. Would you like a balance ? No
Would you like a receipt with your withdrawal? No
Please choose:
[i]Cash only
Cash with receipt[/i]
Cash only please.
[i]Would you like a receipt?[/i]
Gah! It's like getting money out of Talkie Toaster! UX fail.
[i]Put a sign on his desk![/i]
He's the sort who would read it out loud the proceed to WHISLTE for the rest of the day inwhich case I'd be down thereclouting hime in the side of the head multiple times and lose my job and probably go to bloody prison
WHY DO THESE THINGS ONLY BREAK WHEN SHE USES THEM!!!
well obviously because she's female and needs directing back to the kitchen to learn proper female tasks. If you don't nip it in the bud, she may get ideas above her station and even want to play football or cricket 😀
Got hit by a car this morning whilst attempting to gain access to my own.
It only hit me on the elbow with their wing mirror (which broke), but they thought it better to hit me than the oncoming cars or even, here's a novel idea, stop.
A few choice words and a report via 101 to the old bill later and I feel fine.
I must be growing up as I didn't lose my shit and hulk out.
Which is nice.
People who choose to have more than two children.
Selfish ****s.
I really want to have a rant but things are fine currently! The whole world is at fault for not giving me anything to get worked up about, gits.
Shingles. Rash gone but feel like I've self flagellated with a mixture of thistles and nettles.
Stupid woman in my team who hasn't come up with any saturday she's available to go out for a meal and christmas do and is getting all huffy as the rest of us (7 people) are looking to book something today as the even we want is booking up. We get cash from the business to spend so it can't be just put behind a bar. It's not hard love, it's got to be a Saturday, there only 4 in Decemeber before christ's birthday and we've been discussing it for a month. Quite happy for her not to be included.
Christmas. It's still NOVEMBER
Waiting for any news on my warranty commuter, should hopefully have news today, but it's black friday so my phone is lit up like a christmas tree with shit offers.
Also, having to get the train while my bike is borked
Also, Gove, (c)Hunt and Brexit.
Gove banging on about how social media is affecting politics (upset about misreporting of animal welfare in article 13).
Gove not giving a sh*t about this during the leave campaign.
Utter bellend...
There are some pearls on their right now if anybody wants to waste the rest of the afternoon trolling.
People whinging about Brexit.
People whinging about shit surf.
People whinging about people whinging
[i]There are some pearls on their right now if anybody wants to waste the rest of the afternoon trolling.[/i]
I dun a post. Not a troll, cus it wuz true (hun.)
My flat sale was supposed to be concluded today but is now on hold until Monday as the buyers cheque hasn't cleared yet. Who the **** writes a cheque these days and more importantly pays for a house with one.
Also annoyed at both conveyancing solicitors for not making sure the cheque was put in the bank in time.
I must do a poo
but I've already done two
too many pork ribs
{rant poo haiku}
North Korea
Trump
Idle arse tradesmen who can't be bothered to call customers.
Black Friday emails.
Buying presents for others who say they don't want anything but if I turn up empty handed they get disappointed.
Therefore, this time I am getting all me mates a Newcastle United £8 discounted T-shirt. I will be buying at least 5. 😆
i bought potatoes on my lunch break and have to carry them home on the bike. they must weigh at least 2kg.
Product on which I am now working has no public documentation, and even the secret internal documentation that I've managed to gain access to only tells half the story, which means it does mysterious things we have to try and figure out on our own.
FFS.
Same company's other products are very helpfully documented. Boils my piss when people release shite and can't be bothered to explain what they've done. We waste days and days when they could've written a couple of ****ing paragraphs. If nothing else it's just ****ing rude and inconsiderate.
People who come on a RANT thread with minor pissy little gripes. Get real FFS!
If you have the right facilities there is nothing like a good bit of reverse engineering!
Photo shopping of women and fashion magazines. As my Daughter approaches her teenage years it boils my piss that her self image may be dented by the fantasies of some self-loathing fashionista coke head extolling the virtues of an anorexic model dressed like a 60's spaceman.
they are scotch egg bites not mini scotch eggs.
Not enough boobs
Tit in an old Peugeot something or other, tailgating me down the M180, then M18 with no lights on - It WAS dark and despite passing cars flashing him and me flicking off my lights for a second to try to alert the miscreant,he chose to ignore. On his phone most probs....or maybe his lights didn't work, it was a Peugeot after all.
Christmas music. Last year I found mariachi versions which I quite enjoyed.
One day in and I even hate those ones.
People whinging about people whinging about Brexit.
People, mostly on here it seems as ive never met any in real life, who whine on and on about brexit, trump and nasty nasty tories. zzzzz.
Pedestrians, who voluntarily remove 2 senses, eyes & hearing by being glued to phones and/or wearing headphones & then use public paths & seem surprised when you collide into them.
Bicycle riders who also wear headphones. Ah you got run over as you didnt hear the lorry behind you. Shame.
Bicycle riders/pedestrians who carry a speaker around and play loud shitty music. Selfish inconsiderate aholes.
legend - Memberrear fog light when it's not foggy
Stop tailgating me.
Black Friday every effing day of the effing week!!!
Madison won’t replace two leaky callipers as I can’t prove purchase. One calliper was on a secondhand charge mixer the other was supplied by a mobile mechanic.
I can’t get too ranty as Evans has just replaced my front calliper (leaking cracked piston) and fixed a recall on the rear hub of my Arkose FOC. I got a puncture on the way home and Neil’s wheels lent me a pump and tyre levers. Now sitting in the pub !
Missing mountain biking. Have an NS Rag but miss going really fast down steep rocky stuff. No spare money for foreseeable. Turned 40 and can’t afford a midlife crisis bike purchase 😡 first world rant
Magazines, I suppose STW’s included in that pile too.
Magazines that obliterate the right hand page of thier “tome” with adverts, whilst the content and articles are left (natch) languishing on the left hand page.
It’s a trend that started back in the 90’s when magazines chased advertisers and the advertising agents threw thier weight around and demanded all adverts should be a full page on the right hand page.. The psychology of some 11 year old thought it part of mans fleeting glances at magazines and pledged “we only look on the right hand page, thereby the eye is focused on the advert first creating maximum impact on the reader” and “we demand this space otherwise we take our advertisements elsewhere”
I say, it’s the 21st century and no one reads your offensive on the eye adverts because we’re normal human beings and really don’t need nor want what you think we need and we rarely concern ourselves with claims of “betterer, niceeerer, fasteeerer, sleeker” one upmanship piffle. We also use the internet to inform ourselves of your outlandish claims and make our own choices as to what we buy.
The days of being dictated too are over.
So I say to magazine editors, claim that right page back.. to use a Right Wing Political Morons analogy “take back control”
Ohhh a proper Rant from me... and I like the feeling.
Delivery guy asked if he could use my loo, so directed him to the throne off the hallway. Expecting him to be just needing a slash, I stood by the front door to let him. 20 minutes later he has conjured up the most horrendous stench with his log of hate leaving a mass of skids in the pan. Couldn't even raise a smile when stated 'well, that was a special delivery' as he was leaving.
Coldplay and all other bland music
Monday. It's always right there. It's like a brick wall across the metaphorical motorway of the weekend.
People who think that the hatched bit with solid white lines at a motorway junction is an appropriate place to shove their way in to the main carriageway even though it basically means they've joined the queue further back and extended their own journey time instead of joining further down by merging in the right place. Are they that dopey they can't work it out...(rhetorical question obviously).
Control-freak woman I've been working with who slaps me down whenever I try to do anything
Impatient motorists who mount the pavement in our street and drive within inches of pedestrians
Brexit, Gove, Johnson.
I know it's a lot better than smoking, but I cannot stand those huge fruity sickly smelling clouds that some vapers leave behind. Urgh!
The proliferation of non-recyclable coffee cups especially when they're not even to take away
Smell-it in most-fitting username ever shocker.