[Closed] punishment for adultery??

You are kidding, right?

Why should she be punished?
She's stayed with her husband for 30 years, there's obviously been something good about the relationship, even if she wanted more than just him.

Moses, I guess that's a "no" from you then

the story was on Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 about half an hour ago

Are you the cuckold? Odd question, even for this place. Especially in the Bike Forum.

Anyway, that's what you get for listening to bl00dy Jeremy Vine.

Are you the cuckold? Odd question, even for this place.

If they agreed to be in an exclusive relationship then he's right to be cheesed off.

Quite a mild reaction for thirty years of deceit.

Before people think I am, I'm not agreeing with the sentence but what was the offence he was convicted of, as will have an impact on sentencing? I'm guessing they couldn't stick a charge of attempt murder (have to prove intention to kill) so maybe it was S20 GBH carries maximum of 5 years, or s18 GBH with intent which carries life (in theory). Still absolutely shocking!!! What has happened to our country!

Not sure what he was charged with. He comitted a crime and got punished. In fact he even called the police when he did it and also confessed to his nephew who was a copper, so I expect the judge had some leniency.

The question is should she have received some punishment?

[i]Does she deserve punishment through the legal system? [/i]

what a ridiculous question !

everyone is entitled to have sex with whoever they choose to... if someone doesn't like it, it's their problem and nobody elses.

Kev

The fact that you are asking the question beggars belief IMO, it's a personal matter.

Although in Scots Law provocation is/was a defence to assualt - but the only provocation being that you have just been told that your spouse is/has been unfaithful (IIRC caveat).

Does she deserve punishment through the legal system?

OK, let me rephrase the question then. Should adultery be a crime? I think I know the answer judging by the response so far, but it beggars belief to me that she (the wife) can enter into the marriage polygamously from day one and "get away with it". Makes a mockery of the marriage, don't you think?

Yes it does make a mockery of the marriage, but I don't think it should be a crime.

I've no sympathy for it being a crime. It isn't the state's business.

I think though that there are circumstances when that sort of treachery might sensibly be reflected in a divorce settlement. I think I'm right in saying (please someone correct me if not) that, if he had divorced her when he found out instead of pushing her down the stairs, the settlement would have been the same as it would have been if she had divorced him for snoring and chewing with his mouth open.

sounds to me like she's made a mockery of herself. People lie because they are scared of the truth.

Kev

Well I see where you are coming from but no, not really.

Isn't there a 'crime of passion' defence in French law?

I thought Adultery is a crime - it's just not persued as being worthwhile by the CPS. Not bothered either way though.

Should it be a crime - I don't see why not. It's fraudulent behaviour. In this example, they had no intention of honouring the contract of marriage they entered into - assuming it was to be monogomous.

Here's a piggy back question. In this case, should the cheating partner be entitled to an equitable divorce?

Adultery has been and is now a crime in many societies; somehow it's always the women that get punished, not the men. As an example, see the recentish stonings of women accused in ****stan or Iran.

But one you say that adultery is a crime- should the many people who have drunken one-night stands also be punished? Should those who stray but are in non-married relationships? What about the quick BJ ?

*************

And no, I don't think it made a mockery of the marriage, otherwise it wouldn't have lasted.

I thought the punishment was 2 mothers-in-law.

Oh, no - thats bigamy.

stilltortoise are you in the Taleban by any chance?

Moses,

It only lasted because one of the parties didn't know the other was cheating. Unless you're saying that they were both aware of the affair during the whole term of the marriage?

I thought this thread was going to be about buying a new hard-tail and making a full-sus jealous. Yes, I am dissapointed.

Moses - I am not the quick BJ.

lets be honest who would not be angry to find out that 30 years of married life had all been a lie and your two best friends were behind it?
Sure the wife has the choice about who she has sex with but the husband has the right to decide if he would like to accept her choices and stay with her. Lets not forget that forsaking all others are a part of the weedding vows and at no point did she do this.
Not sure it should be a crime to commit adultery (breach of contract?) but he has my deepest sympathy and I would be very unimpressed to find out.

I'm a strongly against people wandering in a marriage however to make it a crime? I don't think so, think about it realistically I know loads and loads of people who have an extra marital affairs, whether they were caught is a different matter. I can honestly hold up head up and say I've never been unfaithful (and I'm not even married).
But to make it a crime, I know it's extremely painful, humilitating etc etc but to push her down the stairs! I mean come on a bit excessive!!! IMO.

She shouldn't be punished but she should be thoroughly ashamed of herself for behaving in such a manner for such a long time.

But given she was able to deceive someone she professed to love for so long, I doubt she will feel any real remorse.

I cannot abide any form of deceit in marriage, even one night stands, so for someone to do this is thoroughly shameful.

And no, I don't think it made a mockery of the marriage, otherwise it wouldn't have lasted.

Yeah, but you're only saying that because apparently if you're called Moses you can have 2 wives.

He shouldn't have assaulted her - he got his punishment.
She got stabbed and pushed down the stairs - she got more than enough "punishment" already don't you think?

Adultery is a breach in the marriage contract and is not a crime, it's more like breach of a commercial contract. It sounds like she's been in breach multiple times for 30 years. What compensation will he receive for that? None, I expect he'd have done very badly out of the divorce even without his assault.

But there may have been other circumstances - he may have been an awful husband i.e. performed poorly but still within the terms of the marriage contract. Laywers will have to work it out.

And no, I don't think it made a mockery of the marriage, otherwise it wouldn't have lasted.

Surely it lasted because she was a lying, cheating, deceitful cow and he didn't know 😕

I find it even more odd that people try to justify their cheating with "I was drunk" 😆

One could propose, assuming she was a house-wife with no job living off his earnings, that she was obtaining money by deceipt. Which is a crime. But equally he could have been a house-husband and lived off her earnings. In which case would it still be a crime?!

She got stabbed and pushed down the stairs - she got more than enough "punishment" already don't you think?

I see the potential for quite an inflammatory post coming up... 😉

Mitigating circumstances. Same if it was vice versa as well. I think its provocation at the very least and he (or she in a parallel) should have a suspended sentance with an order to undergo observation/physciatric treatment to assess the impact and if they pose a threat in the future.

Its bad enough for the fathers of children when they found out years down the line that the kid isnt theres as well.

TBF, if he had been cheating on her for 30 years and she had then found out, 'the law' would have allowed her to take him to the cleaners and take all his money. Is that not 'punishment' for adultery ? ......... ok no, I suppose not 😕

Personally, I think she got away with it lightly - getting thrown down the stairs and stabbed. Sane, calm, and reasonable, that I might be (if the drugs are working correctly) I reckon all that would have gone out of the window when I found out. 30 ****ing years ? With the BEST MAN ? I would have gone off my ****ing trolley. I would have probably also murdered a few some random strangers .....

ernie_lynch, Im scarily in agreement on a few things.

I think I'd ask to see vids/get turned on by what they got upto...

Anyway back in the real world. If it happened to me? Jeesus, I dont know, I think a mind snapping would occur and yes homicidal thoughts wouldnt be far off. TBH- His bestman would be the first target. I could **** someone elses missus if I didnt know him- if I know someone, no way.

It has just dawned on me that this site is becoming like an online version of the Jeremy Kyle show! 😆

Calm down ernie!!! 😆

EDIT: Deleted - boring pointless post....

Hora, you are a true legend of our times. 🙂

Mind you 30yrs on....the bestman is probably doing him a favour..

Calm down ernie

It's easy for you to say that. I've just been told that my wife has been having an affair with MY BEST MAN for the last 30 years.

I could **** someone elses missus if I didnt know him- if I know someone, no way.

Quick everyone introduce yourself to Hora you know what a libidinous love God he is it is the only way to ensure he doesn’t score with your missus

Worried .............you should be

sorry but i hope i dont offend anyone, i would have done more than throwing her down the stairs and stabbing her. If my feelings had been played with for thirty years, i'd torture both of them together.

i'd torture both of them together.

Or ask to watch them both together? 8) 😈

Or ask to watch them both together?

I think that would cut you up even more.

Bring back stoning 😛

I don't know if any of us could actually say with any kind of accuracy what we would do in those circumstances. We might be angry and want to kill, we might be so stunned we feel completely empty and unable to operate as a human being.

It really is the ultimate insult one person could ever pay another. I couldn't treat anyone, in any capacity, with that level of contempt.

Bring back stoning

it would actually make people think twice about committing adultery and hurting their partners feelings, then making them react in an unprovoked manner. 🙂

we might be so stunned we feel completely empty and unable to operate

Someone slap me, so that I come to my senses and KILL HER.

Happened to me with my first wife - she'd been sha**ing my best man (and prior to this best mate)for a couple of years, due to the fact that 'she suspected I'd been seeing someone else'.
Wish I had been, to be honest. No, I didnt hit her when I found out - you dont stop loving someone that quickly, but I did leather him.
End result ? 10 years of forking out more than I could afford to the CSA, becoming a 'weekend dad', one fairly vigorous suicide attempt and a couple of years self loathing.
Know what? I still think the guy that pushed his missus down the stairs, etc, was wrong

sounds rotten barnsleymitch - I really don't know how I would feel - and I'd understand if you don't want to answer, but do you think it would have been 15 times worse if you found out it was over 30 years?

What a lunatic - surely stabbing her [i]before[/i] pushing her down the stairs would have far been easier 😕

Smacking yer bird about is never acceptable behaviour under any circumstances, if she has a go at you physically its fair enough to defend yourself, but that apart no way.

Much better to take revenge cold. I particularly liked the one where the cuckolded husband had Christmas cards printed with a picture of his Mrs taking part in a sexual practice rather frowned upon in polite circles and sent them to all of her family and friends. I suspect that the aftermath of that may have far outlasted any temporary pain from a kicking.

Or my friend's aunt who found out and announced it lovingly in the paper (full page spread) then got lots of manure delievered to his driveway and signposted it with "shite stops here" ... genuis IMO!!

Smacking yer bird about is never acceptable behaviour under any circumstances, if she has a go at you physically its fair enough to defend yourself, but that apart no way.

Comments like this always strike me as very gallant, but I'm unconvinced. I'm not a violent person, I've never been in a fight in my life and I avoid (physical) conflict at all times. I do think though that we all have a point at which we will snap and justify our violent actions. Maybe this is for another post (on another site!) and it wouldn't really make pleasant reading, so I'll leave it as purely hypothetical...

Smacking yer bird about is never acceptable

Back on topic no she shouldn't be punished by law but I think "who cheated on who" should be brought back in to the divorce stuff. Marriage is a contract, if someone defaults on it they should get nowt.

I've posted my views on violence on another thread. (walk softly but carry a big stick basically). i.e. I have no issue at all about defending myself, but I never actually look for trouble so to speak.

Frankly I am absolutely amazed by what is being posted on this thread. 30 years with the best man or 5 minutes pissed at the office party, whats the difference? Its a bit like claiming to be a bit pregnant, you are either unfaithful or you’re not. Once you’ve accepted that principle its only a question of degree before under that premise you are whipping some kid because she walked out of the door without her husband. I’m quite sure most people on here would not tolerate the “Sharia Law” type of attitude to women that seems to be prevalent with the Taleban. So frankly there is no acceptable excuse for it here.

As far a Neanderthal goes, then if not wanting to hit anyone but prepared to stand my ground makes me so, then so be it. Neanderthal is what I am, and proud of it.

As I said G i wasn't referring to you but people who I've heard say it before.

I think there is a big difference between a 30yr affair and a 1 night stand (note thats a singular 1 night stand not 30 years of consecutive 1 night stands) a 1 night stand in most cases I'd guess is a short period of idiocy normally with alcohol involved (certainly not an excuse but I'd say it was a factor), 30yr affair is cold calculated deciept on a large scale over a long period of time. Both are bad, both are classed as infidelity but one (IMO) is much worse.

Donk, I'm sorry I disagree with you. You are either faithful to your partner or you are not, there is no middle ground in the context you are citing.

There's a confusion of emotional, moral and legal arguments here.

Emotional = Yes it's awful that the (potentially decent) man has been deceived by his wife and best mate for most of his life.
He has every right to be very angry (unless he's a mysoginistic stella drinker).
She's a female dog (unless he's a mysoginistic stella drinker).

Moral = she done bad and (if following an Abrahamic religion) will burn in hell for eternity.

Legal = adultery is not criminal (nor should it be) and will be sorted in the divorce courts. Without beating her he'd have a stronger case.

Can the fundamental religious zealots step away from the criminal law....

ok, didn't read the whole thread, but what strikes me is that after finding out his wife of 30 years has been shagging someone else for those 30 years, raising the question of [b]his[/b] kids, and flips (which i might well have done, and gets 4 or 5 years
BUT
get pi55ed up, drive a car and kill a cyclist = how much jail time?

"Bring back stoning"

your right i'd find a joint useful in such situations

I think adultery should be a divorce factor and not illegal.

But if I was married I would want to be able to kick her out!

I think he needs anger managment as he tried to kill her.

He should have kicked her out and get all the money out of the account assuming he was not malicious in the marriage in the first place.

Of course it's easy to get someone elses wife-but I have decent values.

Imagine we owned guns and lived in America..

DONK is correct I imagine many of us could [possibly]forgive a one night stand drunk or otheriwse I dont think many people could forgive a 30 year affair with your best mate.
Both are infidelity but one is a one off mistake/out of charachter/moment of weakness ect the other is cold calculated and has made your entire marriage a sham.
G I am surprised you cannot see any difference between the two.

Yep- stirring custard for 30yrs. Imagine the 'ho likes her man to go down on her as well.....an especially nasty way at getting your husband back after a bad arguement? 😕

The mind boggles. 😐

You are either faithful to your partner or you are not, there is no middle ground in the context you are citing.

I just don't think that either is an excuse for an assault. I find it extremely alarming that almost without exception people on here apparently do find it excusable to beat and stab a woman. The point I was making and still am is where then do you draw the line?

The point I was making and still am is where then do you draw the line?

How can anyone say either way if you've never been in that situation?
Its one of those things that would utterly flip your whole life onto its head. Rational thought will be flooded with a cascade of emotions

Maybe, but its still not acceptable to batter the snot out of someone and stab them, just because you've lost the plot. The point I return to is where do you draw the line??? Shes been shagging the best man for 30 years, Ok so what if its only been 5 years? Acceptable or no? Then how about just the once at a party? Thats alright then is it?

Imagine we owned guns and lived in America..

Imagine he owned a set of bombers!! 😯

It becomes no more acceptable, but certainly more understandable if the deceit has been going on for much longer.

IMO

30 years with the best man or 5 minutes pissed at the office party, whats the difference?

I wanted to say something about that comment, but find that I can't think of anything to say.

Am I suppose to laugh, mock, or congratulate the poster on an excellent/p*ss-poor bit of trolling ?

Someone help me ........

Someone help me ........

I reckon you are past it ernie, but I'll do my best.

The point is that the thread is about punishing a woman for adultery. All I am saying is firstly, that I don't agree with that premise, and secondly, what makes it acceptable "to beat up your woman?"

In my eyes its never acceptable, because once you cross the rubicon you are on a short and slippery ride to where the Taleban are. Simple really.

PS: Trolling is posting with the intent to extract an emotional response, if anyone is trolling its you lot going on about how its OK to bash up yer bird.

Woah G, chill out man, I in NO WAY said it was ok to stab and throw the woman down the stairs.Neither of the examples I mentioned deserves physical violence (what does?) I just said IMO one was worse than the other

Neither did I refute the "don't hit women" comment I just said most of the people I had heard say it have screwed up values i.e. they find physical violence an everyday occurence and think it's only out of order if a woman is on the receiving end.

I said the only punishment for adultery should be in the divorce outcome

Imagine he owned a set of bombers!!

FACK 😮

Err if you lose the plot you lose the plot. Most murders don't come with a SWOT analysis and business plan.

I reckon you are past it ernie, but I'll do my best.

But you didn't even attempt to explain how '5 minutes pissed at the office party'
was no different to '30 years with the best man' 😕

Mind, I don't blame you..............we all talk bollox sometimes.

Its a bit like claiming to be a bit pregnant, you are either unfaithful or you’re not. Once you’ve accepted that principle its only a question of degree before under that premise you are whipping some kid because she walked out of the door without her husband.

Can you not get that simple point ernie? Either she has been unfaithful or she hasn't. So where do you draw the line?????

On the talking bollox front, see if you can think of a well known saying with the words pot, kettle and black in it.

Either she has been unfaithful or she hasn't.

I have this thing called "degrees" G.

Where do I draw the line ? I'll tell you, I draw the line by saying that '5 minutes pissed at the office party' isn't the same as '30 years with the best man'. There, done - won't mention it again.

"[i]see if you can think of a well known saying with the words pot, kettle and black in it.[/i]"

Yes I can - how is that helpful ? I've already said, "we all talk bollox sometimes". But I don't think that I've got a monopoly on the activity.

Specially whilst I'm facing a strong challenge from you.

Ok so the next step then is are you then saying that its OK to batter the snot out of the woman and stab her after 30 years with the best man?