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Reading the Boris Johnson! thread a couple of days ago gave me a thought. There was mention on there of the idea of putting him in The Public Stocks and pelting him, Middle Ages stylee, with rotten eggs and the like. No problem with that in principle, but how many sets of public stocks and the like still exist? Are there enough that we could run a decent nationwide tour of this piece of public entertainment?
I've come across a few in recent years, such as
1) Norton, Shrops
2) Berkswell, Warks
3) Wormhill, Derbyshire
cc-by-sa/2.0 - © Graham Hogg - geograph.org.uk/p/2967878
Also a set in Berwick-Upon-Tweed, whose photo I can't find now
And then a few pillory & whipping posts too
4) Coleshill, Warks
5) Much Wenlock, Shrops
How many more usable, or near-enough, stocks and the like do we know of? A quick search on Geograph suggests Derbyshire might be quite fertile ground.
Dunno if there's any round here apart from at the open air museum. I would say, if it came to Johnson, I and a fair few others might be tempted to throw things a little harder than tomatoes at the shameful ****.
Sutton in Craven, near Skipton.
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There’s still a functional set of jougs at the church in Sorn for tethering ner do wells by the neck.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jougs
of course in the absence of any hardware there’s always the option of ‘rough music’
Out of interest, were Boris happening to be nearby one of these devices and a few people manage to get him secured in one, and then not partake in the subsequent pelting by other people present, what offences would be committed?
if it came to Johnson, I and a fair few others might be tempted to throw things a little harder than tomatoes
Fair point, but you might spoil the fun of the next place that he was dragged to.
I and a fair few others might be tempted to throw things a little harder than tomatoes
Although there's a jolly Cider with Rosie sort of view of putting the miscreant in the stocks and small boys tickling their feet, the reality was often different. The police or officials were supposed to ensure no real harm beyond the intended discomfort or humiliation happened, but if the victim was not well liked it was entirely possible that they might be looking the other way from time to time, or called away to do other urgent business.
Just saying.
Public stocks is too tame for Boris, id be happy if the 230,000 folk who lost family members throughout the pandemic were allowed a free punch/slap/kick in the nads as they file past him, failing that tie him in a sack and throw the fat **** from tower bridge.
Plague village of Eyam has stocks. Quite fitting no?
Definitely a Derbyshire thing then -Mapperley village, outside Ilkeston.
Excellent pub in the village too.
Evesham has a set.
I'll quite happily build a set for my village if he will visit.
I'm sure some of his parliamentary "colleagues" must know some good dungeons.
Ufford village in Suffolk just outside the church.
When we were in Prague we visited the Museum of Torture (one end of Charles Bridge, well worth a visit).
Quite macabre but fascinating seeing some of what humanity has invented to be really nasty to other humans. Much of it was not fatal- like stocks it was designed more for discomfort and humiliation although yes, plenty of examples of guillotines, racks and so on.
I remember a tall conical stool to sit on - like a pillar with a mushroom on top of it designed to be really uncomfortable to sit on. I think that'd be good for him, hoist atop that and left there for a bit. Only a week or so.
Or of course we could recreate his moment on the zip wire where he got stuck. Except this time he'd be an exhibit and there'd be a large pile of rotting veg to hand.
Poulton-le-fylde, lancs
I like how the set in Evesham pictured above has a little roof, you wouldn't want to be getting rained on when You're in the stocks would you!?
Would the rotten fruit or veg need to be out of the tin they were shipped in?
Shirley the French way is better for Mr Brexit, I give you a guillotine.
@Sandwich - ooh, I like the Ufford one. Stocks and a pillory post with shackles, all in one. Nice touch.
Gallows Down, Hampshire
More effective than 5G!
I'm intrigued by those stocks in Berkswell. Why 5 holes?
2 arms, 2 legs, 1 neck perhaps.
not comfortable, but…
Mickgate York. Also 5 holes and I’m not buying my theory above.
https://www.prisonhistory.org/lockup/holy-trinity-stocks/
Stocks bods are too kind. I’d definitely opt for something that guarantees his absence from public life. I never want to see or hear from him ever again.
https://stephenliddell.co.uk/2022/02/08/oakham-stocks/
These stocks are a little unusual in that there are five holes whilst most only have have two or four. The Romans used fives holes as they were more extreme and people would have their arms, legs and head constrained
However these stocks are likely Medieval in origin. It is likely that on any given day two men sat with both legs through the holes. The hole in the middle could be used for women or children to put both their legs in one hole so that they could not wriggle themselves free.
Why 5 holes?
Well endowed males?
@thelawman we may be perceived as slow in Suffolk but we are thorough! 🙂
I seem to remember from school trips that Rye had them?
Put him on the Brexit bus, tour all the stocks in the country and stop outside every hospital so NHS staff can clap for him.
I'd settle for him becoming an unperson & while vaporisation is a tad extreme working as a low paid key worker for the remainder of his days would suffice.
Failing that hang him up in the jougs
For the convenience factor St Martin's In The Fields in Trafalgar Square has an original whipping post:
It dates from 1752 btw.
Some in Prestbury village in Cheshire. Full of entitled blue rinses and utd footballers. Oldies would rather feed him cake than pelt him and the utd players would probably miss…
I suppose the greatest thing about the stocks is if someone is kind enough to throw a bucket of water over you, as you sit there for weeks at a time, basically in your own shit and piss.
So make sure he gets plenty of fruit before being locked in.
The church in the beautiful little village of Crantock, next to Newquay in Cornwall has a set in it's graveyard.
Pretty nice ones too!
There are some in the village of Pannal just outside Harrogate 👍
There used to be a set by the Bybrook opposite the White Hart pub in Ford, where my family on my dad’s side is from. I often used to look at it while having a pint, and think about who had displeased me enough to spend a day or so locked in them. Blojo would be entirely suitable.