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Hi,
This thread is really current for me.
I've always suffered from anxiety but things have ramped up recently.
My mum has terminal cancer, my daughter had gender issues and is suicidal and work has always demanded alot.
We have been understaffed since covid in my role. I was asked to run 2 sites for the same salary and I failed as it miserably.
Work relented after 18 months of hell for me and have appointed the missing role.
I thought I was coping OK, but have started breaking down in tears for no reason at work and habing to hide to pull myself back together.
I also realise now that my anger levels were building and that I dealt with some issues quite aggressively.
2 of my senior managers met with me recently and asked that I go to occupational health.
Short version is that occupational health told me that I shouldn't be at work, and I have an appointment with my doctor to get signed off today.
I tried to keep strong, and it took work to make me stop grinding through things (badly).
Tbh I feel quite lost and unstable, as I've never been told to stay off work for my own.
OP,please take some steps before you end up somewhere similar.
Isn't the construction industry fun 🙂
Can you speak honestly to your boss and actually have them do something useful to help? I was in the same position as you a few years ago, close but not thinking I'd quite gone past breaking point and looking at a new industry, lower grade jobs. In the end I spoke to (mainly cried at) my boss and they shifted a whole load of extra workload away for a few months leaving me with more supervision and easier work. This got me back to being able to cope again as I'd just got so overwhelmed.
You say that will overload other people too much but they'll end up with the work anyhow if you do end up signing off with stress or leave for another role. This way you can give them a gentle handover of the work.
I've had the same feelings start to come back in a more recent role because construction so often has unreasonable expectations. This time I nipped it in the bud straight away saying I needed assistance on the project or I'd be crumbling and my boss was great.
Obviously this only works if your boss isn't an arse but if your thinking of leaving anyway its worth an honest conversation to see if they can do anything.
You say that will overload other people too much but they’ll end up with the work anyhow if you do end up signing off with stress or leave for another role.
This ^^^^ a managed handover is a million times better than having to pick up a load of fractured pieces that you don't understand what state they are at. Or they haven't got to state where they can be handed over when someone goes off sick suddenly.
"Here's your colleagues work, get it dealt with, they'll be back next year."
*hands over 500 postit notes, 50 pages of handwritten scrawl and a thousand unread emails*
(I'm currently going through this. Had 3 out of 7 leave, 2 of them suddenly, and one is on parental leave until august 2023)
I've been suffering from stress/depression due to work related pressure for years until have a breakdown at work. Prior to that family life was difficult as I was grumpy sod all the time.
Its difficult the recognise that your depressed or under undue stress/pressure that impacts your mental health. The simple fact is that your are.
Since my breakdown I've spent over 3 years working back up to full time working. For me I need to drop hours to, at first rest, then start to piece things back together. Perhaps more importantly what I needed to change about the way I work.
For me I was always working at the coal face and pushing projects out the door and not using the team I had to best effect. By working to change my point of control of projects to their early phase rather than the coal face of delivery I have improved my mental health. I'm both in better control of the projects as well as improving the ability of my team by giving them the responsibility.
Everyone's job is different, but if I've learnt anything, no-one is going to solve this for us. At first I worried about doing more than my role required because others wouldn't do it. Now I'm thinking stuff it; what do I need to do for me and my team.
I did almost leave but then I realised it'll be the same else where. Sometimes it better to change from within. I recently gave a presentation to the Global Transit Leadership call about my story in which I was quite frank and if anything the issue of work pressure and mental health is global and a big issue.
Biggest thing I've learnt to do is communicate more with the wider team (Project Managers, other design disciplines, client, contractor) to both understand and articulate project needs and issues before they get too far. This can only be done by stepping back and changing your point of control of a project.
Everyone struggles and the best first step is what you've done and started talking. It sounds to me that you've got so much whizzing round your head; I find it useful to pick one item, take it out of my mind and either think about it on its own or write it down. you can't leave it all in your head