rkk01 +1
rkk01 - Why not get back in touch with them?
We did exactly the same (we were the couple without kids); we just couldn't be bothered with all the talk of babies, nappies, puke etc. We'd rather have been in a nice restaurant/at the cinema/on the razz etc.
However, when we finally did have kids, our friends brought us back into the fold. Don't get me wrong, we hadn't detached ourselves completely, but only saw them once a year or so.
Now, we're closer than ever and see them loads - even with the 150mile distance. Or two (aged 2.5 and almost 4) absolutely love their boys to bits - and it's reciprocated. Their boys are aged 10 and 12.
If you really value their friendship, give them a call - I'm sure they'd be grateful and will find your experience with your growing kids invaluable.
[i]When we invite people we actually tell our guests whether it is a kiddie-friendly night or not rather than leave them to guess/assume anything. [/i]
+1.
Also, I'd certainly never go to dinner at the house of anyone who used the term 'reception room' 😉
Reception room - I know - what was I thinking! less letters to type than "lounge with a bit of dining area to the side and kitcheny extension".
The main source of heating in the house is a big wood burning stove in the RECEPTION room. Due the nature of the room layout and the fact that the house is exlusively occupied by adults that can walk in a straight line (well, most nights of the week!) it's not guarded. It always amuses me when I get scolded by protective mums about the potential dangers I'm presenting to their little uns I didn't think I'd invited in the first place!
Re the puttinng kids to bed - we always have some beds made up thinking they might want to use them for the smaller ones but the offer is never taken up.
ha ha - isn't it just the case that there are 2 kingdoms - people with kids & people without kids and they don't really understand each other ?
I wouldn't want to have invited myself and my kids around to any halfway decent establishment - they'd have destroyed it !
Luckily they're a bit older now so I have other 'middle class' things to worry about like sex and drugs and rock n' roll.....
We wouldn't bring ours' to an 8pm invite, and if we turned up to find other people had - we wouldn't probably stay that long... Nor would we expect friends to bring theirs to our invite.
But then maybe your a different age, ie younger?
All about the same age - late 30s.
Oh God, maybe I'm middle aged and middle class - this is turning into a bad day all round!
What exactly is adult time????
My wife takes things to extremes i know, but in the 6yrs we have had kids i reckon we have spent no more than 2nights away from them. If we go for meals etc we make sure we are home at a decent time so they dont sleep over anywhere else. Its just the way my wife is and i quite like it tbh.
We dont go in for meals with friends as tbh she is my friend and other people i class as aquantencies. I honestly cant think of any person who i would rather swap time with my kids for.
What we have done though is have a conservatory built that is big enough to be another room on the house. Not just these token mini greenhouses. We then made it as child friendly as possible and made it the kids room. We regularly have aquantencies and family over with their kids and let them run riot in our kids room whilst the adults have a relaxing coffee in the living room. Thats the extent of our socialising.
On the OP's topic, tbh i think he is in the right. But i would also say that i wouldnt want to go to anyones house that had issues with me bringing the kids along invited or not. Not my type of people if thats the case
i could imagine its a bit awkward, you all putting car keys in a bowl while there are kids around your ankles 😉
decided to have a family you've accepted that your life now revolves around children. That is the point of it, after all?
Where is the balance. I have children however I still find a couple of hours for a beer with mates every fortnight, go for a run daily (without them) as well as a couple of hours riding over the weekend.
Never thought they were mutually exclusive!
freddyg - Member
rkk01 - Why not get back in touch with them?We did exactly the same (we were the couple without kids); we just couldn't be bothered with all the talk of babies, nappies, puke etc. We'd rather have been in a nice restaurant/at the cinema/on the razz etc.
However, when we finally did have kids, our friends brought us back into the fold. Don't get me wrong, we hadn't detached ourselves completely, but only saw them once a year or so.
Now, we're closer than ever and see them loads - even with the 150mile distance. Or two (aged 2.5 and almost 4) absolutely love their boys to bits - and it's reciprocated. Their boys are aged 10 and 12.
If you really value their friendship, give them a call - I'm sure they'd be grateful and will find your experience with your growing kids invaluable.
We haven't totally lost touch - and I'd hope as theirs get a bit older things will get back towards what it was....
I wouldn't automatically take our children along if invited to dinner, especially at 8pm. That's adults time really. Our two (2 & 4) are in bed come 7:30, 8pm at the very latest.
Personally...I love nothing more than us, our friends/family & all the kids enjoying a nice meal & having a good time, but things get organised for a bit earlier in the evening. Kids grow too fast, blink & they're a year older.
We've plenty of friends with no kids yet, & if invited around I'll assume its adults only unless they say otherwise.
I would expect an 8 pm invite for dinner to be kid free. I don't have many friends with kids however and have had them round for dinner both with and without the kids ( with the kids 'cos no childcare was available)
It interests me that there are two such divergent attitudes here - some folk want that kid free time and some do not.
I certainly would be cross if I had folk round for a kid free dinner and some folk brought their kids and let them run riot. However being clear with the invite is probably the est way to deal with it.
I would be the nasty bad man & explicitly say no children as I simply dont like them & dont want to see/hear them.
Likewise I wouldnt attend a friends fuction if I knew there would be children there.
why not go round theirs and take offer to take dinner with you to warm up there/cook together
I don't think you realise the expense/hassle/stress of going out for the evening when you've got young kids
no need for babysitters etc then, everyones happy.
If I was paying for a babysitter I think I'd be wanting to go out somewhere, not round someone's house for a dull evening...
Interesting, is this how the 30's deal with kids - either have them with them 100%, or dislike them intently.
Not sure about others in our age group (mid 40's), but we plan for kid time, and also non-kid time (either just one of us, or both) - with no guilt.
Or maybe if you are in your 30's your parents don't want the grandkids over, as they are still going out themselves?
We're childless at the mo. We have friends over and sometimes the kids are with them sometimes not, doesn't really phase me either way. Our house is not exactly sterile clean so I am a bit worried about them catchign something sometimes ! And the cat tried to eat one once but we all laughed about it over dessert 😯
We've also taken to whipping over to some close mates who have two under 4 with dinner at 8ish , we just cook up a storm, bung it in the coolbox (hot box then ?) grab some wine and run round the corner, have a feed and a natter. Makes them feel mroe relaxed, theres no dramas etc. Saying that they rang up a couple of weeks back and invited themselves over on the Sat night without kids, just for a couple of hours as they wanted a break, we were slobbing out and it was just a few beers and a giggle but a break for them
Maybe i am middle class as well eeeek
not round someone's house for a dull evening...
Need to get some new friends, mate - maybe some that are interesting to talk to?
Funny how people like to impose their views on others about how to live without necessarily knowing the full circumstances. Just an observation like. 8)
Going back to the OP though, when my kids were younger I would have assumed that 8pm for dinner would be a no kids one. If I wasn't sure I would have phoned to check. Not sure what all the whinging about costs and arrangements is all about as you have a simple choice about whetehr you want to go out or not. I'm sure many of you don't find it such a hassle when you are wanting to go out for a ride or whatever. And how many of you who would bring your kids along to everything have both of you working during the day?
We have been pretty fortunate as my parents don't live all that far away and with them and some other friends the babysitter duties were mostly free.
I guess people are different and some like to be with their kids all the time and others like to have a break.
