Scream a little bit and have the odd tantrum?
Our little boy does. Started at 11 months and that was a few weeks ago. Seems like he does it partly to get attention, when he feels clingy (i.e. you leave the room), when he's teething, when he doesn't enjoy being changed and/or when he sometimes feels like it etc.
But according to our childminder, this is [u]abnormal[/u] behaviour that she cannot deal with. Apparently she's not know a child do this in 20 years! WTF? It's upsetting the other 2-3 kids she looks after, and now 2 parents have 'complained'. So much so that she's asked us to find someone else to look after him.
Sure, he has his moments but virtually every parent we've spoken to says he's just doing what little boys do. He'll grow out of it blah blah.
Our approach lately has been to totally ignore him (if we know he's not in pain etc); no eye contact, no communication, nothing. He then gives in and finds something fun to do at which point we make a fuss of him.
Are we being unreasonable/odd? Or is she just looking for an easy life? Seems strange behaviour from her because she's fantastic with the kids and seems a natural. But maybe she does want it easy.
It doesn't really matter if its normal behaviour or not (and I think it is TBH) because she clearly wants rid of your son. Start looking for a replacement arrangement and move on.
sounds like you bought a faulty baby, did you keep the receipt?
It doesn't really matter if its normal behaviour or not (and I think it is TBH) because she clearly wants rid of your son. Start looking for a replacement arrangement and move on.
+1
Ditch her and move on.
We always found nurseries much better - you have a wider range of carers there so if one of the staff 'doesn't get on' with your kid (for whatever reason) it doesn't really matter.
Warranty ran out 6 weeks ago. Have to keep him now.
This all blew up earlier this week and we've already found a really sorted nursery. More expensive and longer commute, but defo worth it IOO. It's just that this whole episode has really upset the missus. Not impressed with the CM's attitude, seeing as we all appeared to be getting on great. Bit out of the blue too.
Seems she just wants an easy life and the challenge your son is offering is too much for her.
Move on and find someone who is good with (and for) your child, not someone without the patience to help him develop.
wwaswas, the nurseries we visited months ago were shocking (IOHO). Hence opting for what we believed to be a fantastic CM.
Have had to cast our net wider this time, but the one we found yesterday really is cool. Loads of big, light, airy open-plan spaces, plus a funky garden and lovely carers/manager. We also agree that multiple carers = more chance of resolving anything that kicks off.
I've somehow remained unemotional throughout this episode and just got on with getting it sorted. It's his mum who's taken it personally.
As above. Move on.
My nursery seems to think my lad is the Vampire incarnate. 🙄
sounds like a faulty CM to me...
sounds like a faulty CM to me...
+1
One year olds can be monsters. Mine were.
You are naturally going to be defensive of your kid, all parents are.
Seems in your OP you said she's got 20 years experience and some of the other kids parents have complained. Maybe she isn't equipped for the unique needs your son may have so sounds like you have already started looking for and found an alternative.
Yep, a faulty CM is our consensus too. Pretty much what we wanted to hear.
Cheers guys.
You are naturally going to be defensive of your kid, all parents are.
Not entirely. I like to think I'm objective (coaching/sales background) enough to look at things from the other person's perspective. Hence if he did step out of line and the evidence substantiated it then we'd have to address it.
Funny to be reading this after I dropped off my two 2 yr olds at their new nursery and wondered as I drove away if they will tell us soon that ours are too much for them.
😕
MF I thought that too- I bet every parent does.
I watched our lad sat in a bubble car push off and show an aggressive face to a much bigger/older boy trying to get into the car. I didn't think it'd be possible for a 15month old to show an angry face 
He then gives in and finds something fun to do at which point we make a fuss of him.
Surely if you are doing that he will just learn to throw a tantrum, and then give in - and then receive a fuss?
Agreed Spacemonkey but you will still have a gut reaction to protect/defend your own.
TurnerGuy, any of us could argue the toss on the psychology behind this sort of thing. Our aim is to encourage him to realise 'unnecessary' tantrums are exactly that. He doesn't always go off and suddenly brighten up and get made a fuss of. Sometimes he just pipes down and wanders off in a more peaceful mode - which he doesn't receive acknowledgement for.
maxray, yep, I'm with you on that. I was't trying to be clever - just highlighting the way I try to deal with certain things.
is he a chatty ( as much as a one year old can be)?
Does he like spinning wheels or other mechanical things a lot?
Does he get upset when you change from one activity to another?
is he a chatty ( as much as a one year old can be)?Does he like spinning wheels or other mechanical things a lot?
Does he get upset when you change from one activity to another?
I'd say he's a pretty chatty chap. Very sociable; sometimes like to observe (and smile a lot) and other times like to get stuck in.
Loves his trike and other wheely cool stuff. So yes, I'm hoping he gets the bike thang.
Sometimes gets upset when changing things. I guess that's usual?
EDIT: all friends and family who've spent time with him say he's perfectly normal. A really happy, playful little chap that has his grumbly moments like most children do.
AndyRT - are suggesting he may be autistic?
I guess that's usual?
There is no 'usual' with children. What is all fine and dandy one day is all wrong the next.
This morning one of ours screamed and screamed for Weetabix then, when we gave them to her, she screamed because the milk hadn't been poured on correctly.
She only calmed down when we put The Snowman on (for the 756th time this week).
Then ate toast and waffles...
You know what I mean though MF.
They are normal.
Mine was fine then of all a sudden wants to be picked up alot.
This morning he didn't enjoy me sneaking around the door and making him jump 8)
To be fair he sounds exactly like my little guys, he's 13 months now and like an angry eel to change nappies, or put on clothes, in fact during most activities lol. We just try and refocus him on something else, once he does he imediately switches off from whatever he was upset about.
Sounds like your childminder needs to CMTFU 8)
Mines like a tackled Rugby League Player
"An angry eel"
This describes our 9 month old boy perfectly 😀
Mine was fine then of all a sudden wants to be picked up alot.
God yes I am getting that at the moment - 'carry, carry, carry' all the time and hanging off my legs as I try to move around the kitchen in a morning!
The carrying usually results in 'there, there, there' as they try to direct me to the place they want to be (normally the biscuit corner).
"An angry eel"
This describes our 9 month old boy perfectly
My father-in-law has described my Izzi as being a physical abnormality - she is perpetual motion. Never, ever does she stop. Even when she is laid in bed falling asleep she is waving her arms around flailing her blankets in the air. Come the morning her bed looks like a piece of Tracy Emin installation art.
Yours are talking? Mine still isn't 🙁
Yours are talking? Mine still isn't
Evie is saying words and getting associations very well (things like hearing rain on the window and saying 'rain'). Izzi has only a couple of words (mummy, daddy and wee wee). I think they are older than yours though - they are 27 months old now. Some of their friends are speaking full sentences :-0
Izzi needs to have grommets fitted as she has fluid in her ear which means she can't hear properly and subsequently isn't saying much yet. Their one friend whose language is similar to hers needs exactly the same. Have you had his hearing checked at all?
How old is/are yours Hora?
16months. He has ear infections but he can also hear a bloody pin drop when hes in bed and you make a noise..
AndyRT - are suggesting he may be autistic?
No, just checking. I remember having no real perception of there being anything 'wrong' with my son, and then having a child minder having a very similar conversation with me as described here.
One size doesn't fit all, and 1yrs old is way too young to know, but the thread just reminded me.
BTW, my son is Autisitc, and I suppose I now am guilty of spotting traits in 'normal' people on the spectrum.
Maybe we all are, just a little 😉
Maybe we all are, just a little
indeed!
Toddler in tantrum shocker!
What exactly does the childminder expect - the waltons? As above I'd be looking at new childcare asap. Could well be combination of a phase/ infection/ teething, but certainly not abnormal!
Plenty of time then Hora - some kiddies aren't even walking at 16 months!
He can almost run 😀
My daughter didn't walk until she was 20 months though she did have hyper motility in her ankles/hips. On the other side she was talking from a very early age.
They all progress at different rates and if they are slow in one aspect they are usually ahead in another.
They all progress at different rates and if they are slow in one aspect they are usually ahead in another.
Exactly - the girl I mentioned above who can speak clear and full sentences took an age to walk - when ours were playing on the climbing frame in the park she was just sat like a pudding eating leaves...
Here he is at 14months (the one holding the lead not four-eyes)
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Who's the ghostly apparition in the top right?
she was just sat like a pudding eating leaves...
whilst speaking full clear sentences, I am sure her parents were thinking the same about the 2 primates grunting and swinging on the climbing frame! 😉
Maybe we all are, just a little
It's often said that there is a very thin line between autism and genius. My eldest can tell you what day of the week your birthday is next year and has been performing this party trick since he was four. He's nine now and although for a few years he had us worried, is a perfectly normal (although highly academic) kid.
The one pushing the pram or the one bending down?
BINNERS TO THE FORUM - my shoes are out and on display for you my bald Gok Wan 😆
hide-e-ho strangers.
my boy is the same age as hora's.
happy lad, always gabbling on but can only really say tractor and daddy -bless
but only sleeps til 4-5am and gets stroppy 50% of nappy time; and when he has finished his food and still sat in the high chair.
he still occasionally bits mummy but rarely me.
he is at nursery 2 days a week and one of the ladies seams pleased to tell me and mrs fg what went wrong that day. this never bothers me but mrs fg then gets paranoid the we are raising junior badly.
to the op. - your lad is fine, don't worry, but more importantlykeep reassuring your wife that she is doing a brilliant job - trust me if she goes down that spiral then you are in for some hard work; hence my absence from here and only 5 rides in 5 months
Farmer' my Sons first (and only) word was 'Mandy'. One of the nursery nurses is called Mandy.
whilst speaking full clear sentences, I am sure her parents were thinking the same about the 2 primates grunting and swinging on the climbing frame!
8)
I have a 14 month old. Little monster at nappy changes, whingier than a whingy thing at times. his speech seems wicked though as he knows all his toys by their names and will go and fetch them upon request.
Sadly my only wish is that he'd start walking instead of the tiptoes crap he does but it'll happen soon enouogh.
Doesnt sound like the OP is having any more issues than most of us on here have had. Your doin the right thing and carry on. I've always taken the stand that a positive environment is best so to take him away from the CM who obvioulsy is a moron would definately be best course of action.
hora - nothing wrong with that - is she fit? there are a couple of rather attractive ladies at the nursery that keep saying my boy is soooo cute and doesn't he look like his father! (they don't cuddle me though) 🙁
my boy doesn't mind noise at night (can mow the lawn 30 mins after he goes to sleep), but when he wakes up - he wakes up. on a bad night that is 1am, 3pm and 5pm!
is yours sleeping through?
So the answer to the OP is yes.
Sounds like you're doing the right thing with the ignoring bad behaviour and praising good.
BTW my eldest was a nightmare like that, although the most embarrassing moment was when he was a bit older.
11a.m. Saturday morning, the shopping centre of Brighton was very busy my eldest is flat on his back between 2 pubs (which were just opening) throwing a right wobbler whilst screaming
"I WANT TO GO TO THE PUB."
Now he's almost 18 I can see the funny side....
"I WANT TO GO TO THE PUB."Now he's almost 18 I can see the funny side....
These days we can quickly film that sort of stuff on our phones and use it to embarrass them later in life (thinks weddings/birthdays etc).
8)
At 11-months, they don't understand. If they're screaming, they want attention and the best thing (IMO) is to give it to them.
Leave the ignoring thing a couple of years, so they understand they've to stop screaming.
And get a new childminder.
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You do know Marrzocchi make small forks, right?
Spare the bombers, spoil the child IMO
Yeah, we figured we're probably doing enough of the right things. Can always do something better of course. Still, he's a great little lad and hopefully he'll find his happy feet in the new place.
"Spare the bombers, spoil the child IMO"
Brilliant! Currently wiping coffee off my computer screen after laughing
Post of the week IMO. Thank you RichPenny.