[Closed] Olympic Commentary Nonsense Thread

Claire balding blithering about what what she listens to on radio 4 and Matt baker, of the Chinese gymnasts last night; "i can wave at them, go on, wave, yeah!!" were two that caught my ear....

commentry people talking to a swimming coach during the... well, swimming. "you've seen a lot of 12 year olds in your time"

Nothing compared to the commentary on NBC...

During the road race stage they were bollocking on about the 'chateaus' that dotted the Surrey countryside.

The opening ceremony had too many to mention, but one highlight during the parade of nations was when Madagascar came out 'Madagascar, recently made famous by an animated movie'.

Just incredible.

Not to let the Ozzies away with it..
on the 4xsomthing swimming relay
"Queensland have supplied at least 75% maybe 80% percent of the team"

Still think the commentator giving Andrie Greipel 4th in the men's road race after 24 riders had crossed the line was pretty good

Hugh Porter saying anything.

anything that came out of Trevor ****ing Nelson's gob during the opening ceremony was cringeworthy

he totally didn't have a clue

at one point I think he asked the other commentators if they had a 3D tv, and if they thought it was worth buying one!

Agreed on Trevor Nelson. Why did he get the gig? He is a talent void as far as I can see.

I chortled slightly at the equestrian cross country; several times a horse was described as being "full of running!".

[url=

Mash - BBC to launch Trevor Nelson button[/url]

Following Nelson’s stint saying whatever came into his head during the Olympics opening ceremony, viewers will soon be able to hear the DJ describing the images drifting across his frontal lobe as an accompaniment to any BBC output.

The 48-year-old iPod shuffle, awarded the MBE in 2007 for services to bigging up Britain’s posses, will become a permanent resident of the BBC TV Centre, where he will be intravenously fed a diet of liquidised Monster Munch and value brand orangeade to keep his commentary suitably disjointed and excitable.

I liked Jonathon Edwards talking to David Florence in the canoing...
'It's a bit rough out there...'

i caught a snippet of the womens powerlifting.

"if only she'd hit that snatch harder..."

"if only she'd hit that snatch harder..."

you owe me a keyboard and cup of coffee for posting that...

was anyone else amused by the greek swimmer in the individual medley last night called Dryminakos?

So far my highlights were in the swimming where a chinese guy called Sun was going for the WR and the commentator was repeatedly shouting "GO ON SUN".......and I think yesterday while Phelps mum was cheering him on, one of the commentators said to the other one (ex swimmer) "your mum used to scream"

while Phelps mum was cheering him on, one of the commentators said to the other one (ex swimmer) "your mum used to scream"

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Every time the sailing commentators mention Robert Scheidt, the child in me is bursting with laughter. I'll never tire of that one.

"We're going to see fireworks in this swimming pool tonight!"

After all that, it turned out that the race was a bit of a damp squib.........

I think Ben Aimsley [sp?] may be cheating, I earlier heard "And I think Ben's really going to put the pedal down now".

[i]"Watch out though, because Hannah's a good strong breast stroker" [/i] and [i]"The Chinese are coming in the pool"[/i] are the two I've s****ed at while the swimming has been on 😛

During the road race stage they were bollocking on about the 'chateaus' that dotted the Surrey countryside.

On 5 live day after opening ceremony they interviewed one of the kids who lit the 'cauldron' for whom...." once in a lifetime opportunities don't come along too often"

"is dissapointed we haven't heard "a suitcase full of courage" yet"

Just had: "There should be a ruling on how many ponytails you can have in a team, particularly if they're fair haired!"

Women's hockey, a MOTD commentator, maybe Motty. Maybe that's why they have names and numbers on their backs.

No, that was Davies. Not an MotD commentator.

Gary Lineker asking Lizzie Armitstead if she would be "helping" Emma Pooley in the TT.

Not knowing the finer points of strategy is understandable, but the basic concepts of the sport?

Oh jeez that's not a colemanball, that's just plain ignorant. Shame on you Gary. How much is he paid?

I think we should compile a detailed list and see if we can get a Tory MP to complain about it. See if the Daily Wail will comment on it. They love slagging the Beeb.

"That was unbelievable" is the one that bugs me. You, and millions of viewers, have just watched it happen. In fact you've probably seen the action replays too. In my book that makes it very "believable".

I may be making some of the words up here, but during the rowing I,m sure someone said "She's rubbing the boat with the palm of her hand".
If I'd known there'd be a thread like this I'd have written it down..

Another Porterism, when he stated that That two of the best women cyclists in the world were "punching above their weight"

Hugh's doing the mountainbike commentary too, god help us.

There's some knob in the sailing commentating about 'playing the joker' he's referring to sailing's discard system.

Then one of them went into detail telling us what 'toe straps' were for.

It's so dumbed down in the vain hope folk who don't know about sailing are actually watching which of course they wouldn't be and nothing of any value is imparted to those of us who do and are interested. Pathetic .

Has Balding been cloned? She seems to be presenting everything. Or perhaps I have just been unlucky enough to catch her whenever I pass a TV.

"Nicolai sporting a fantastic Latin beard" just now in the volleyball.

"he's got wings on his wheels has Bradley Wiggins."

Rachel Burden on R5L - 'I'd like to spend an hour on the coach with Steve Peters' [the cycling team psychiatrist]

"And it's Meares in the lead!"

Err, Pendleton took the lead last lap and Meares, wearing yellow, is in 5th.

Good old Hugh Porter.

Any Ozzie commentator wont give in until their athlete has lost, they have a chance even if they are in last right up to the end. Also unfortunately the programming is being done by a hyperactive 5yo, we keep swapping sports every 2 mins (thankfully to watch brit medals in the cycling and rowing mostly)

Laughed at Mark Foster in the pool talking about Adlington saying "she's a lovely soft girl but get her wet and she's a real fighter" 🙂

I heard Colin Murray on 5 Live yesterday saying that he imagined the American team would travel to London first class, and how he could not imagine Usain Bolt in economy.

Not sure about the commentator, it might have been mr porter, but during the mens mtb at Bejing, he commented that one rider was drafting the other in a section with lots of trees. The co commentator corrected him.

Not nonsense but this got a giggle from me on the guardian live blog

I think it's safe to say Chambers has been forgiven, although I think you could put Rosemary West out there in a Great Britain vest and she'd get a huge ovation.

Somebody just said (on the womens swimming) 'these are the fastest women on the planet'
Well I'm sure that German woman who goes round the Nurburgring is a bit quicker for a start.

Denise Lewis just described an athlete as 'complete poetry in motion' 🙂