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My dad is on his own now and has mentioned his fear of dying and not being discovered for a day or two. Me and my brother catch up with him a couple of times a week so he's not neglected or anything, but it is a fear he has.
In my mind there is some sort of big red button thing that he can hit that will send a text or alert to me so i can go round. Does such a thing exist? Everything i can see online seems to be some sort of assisted subscription type thing but he doesn't think he is quite at that stage yet.
He won't be able to hit a big red button if he is already dead....
First port of call would be local authority community alarms service. Most of these do require a monthly monitoring fee but this is worth it for piece of mind. It guarantees any activation will be picked up by an operator who can then dismiss it, contact you or contact emergency services. They will usually supply hardware for free. I used to manage an alarm receiving centre and our average pick-up time was 8 seconds. Standard set up would be an alarm unit with a big red button, plus a neck or wrist worn pendant. These can also have falls detector activated but the falls detection can be a bit ropey. The connection though will be bomb and idiot proof.
You can set up a DIY system using mainstream smart tech, Apple watch with falls detection, Siri activation, Blink cameras etc. You just have to be confident that you, and/or your brother, will always hear the alert. This can be managed through setting up emergency contacts with silent override. Will also require him to get in habit of charging his watch, and then you need to consider if risk is increased when he is not wearing it.
There are some setups that give you the hardware functionality of a monitored alarm service, but without the monitoring service, instead sending alerts directly to emergency contacts. Might be worth a look but I am not sure how reliable, intuitive and safe the Wi-Fi/Bluetooth connection is. You don't want to be turning Bluetooth off and on again and rebooting connections every few days on a safety type system. Worth looking at though
As above, speak to the local authority - we've just got one sorted for my nan. All dealt with stupidly efficiently (for a LA) for nothing.
My Dad has one of these;
https://personalalarms.org/products/suresafego-family-2
Has a mobile phone SIM rather then linked to landline so works outside the house and can utilise all networks I think. No reliance on a phone/wifi/bluetooth etc., it's a standalone device. I went for the 'family monitoring' option so alerts come to me rather than to a call centre. On the app I can check location, if he's moved recently or not, and it sends me notification if he's letting the battery run out. Has fall detection I think, but seem to recall I turned it off due to the number of false alarms.
A friend of mines Gran was in sheltered accommodation and they had a pressure pad in the floor at the toilet door. So staff could tell if they hadn't been to the toilet that morning and would send someone round to check on them
Some Care at Home services supply movement detectors that automatically trigger after a set time if no movement is detected. I've not looked but I'd guess they're available for purchase too.
If you do issue your parent with one of those fall pendent things to pull in the case of an emergency now they're on their own, just remind them how much panic they can cause amongst their offspring if they leave it on and go and do something like... oh I don't know... a Zumba class, for example, and accidentally set it off
Me and our kid can laugh about it now, We weren't bloody laughing a couple of months ago when my 83 year old mother did it!
I'd recommend the local authority monitoring kit. Some councils charge a small fee that covers administrative needs and their patrol if a relative isn't available.
A keybox is sometimes included so that access is available without breaking anything and causing more issues. The number can be given to ambulance, etc as appropriate.
Make sure that any option is future-proofed when landline protocols change to digital VOIP during this year
The LifeLine type devices already mentioned are typically to alert for assistance.
From what you`ve explained your dads concern is the perceived indignity of not being found for a day or two if he was to die, and expressed that he isn`t quite ready for what you have already mentioned to him.
Maybe something as simple as you and brother txt him last thing at night and first thing in morning.
Maintaining his independence and confidence is important.
Having previously worked in this industry which device you get is largely academic. They all work the same way via a router and 4g as a backup. It the quality of the monitoring service and how they respond to activations that’s the important bit. Mole valley were one of the better ones. Apollo, in my experience, not so good as it’s not their core business.
From what you`ve explained your dads concern is the perceived indignity of not being found for a day or two if he was to die, and expressed that he isn`t quite ready for what you have already mentioned to him.
Yep - they have to want the solution being presented. My grandparents had a (much more basic, given the era) button call for assistance thing to wear around their neck but they took it off because it was too bulky, it got in the way, it was a nuisance, they forgot to put it on... Which made it completely useless.
And if you're paying a subscription for that kind of thing, it's just a waste of money.
There could be various less intrusive tech solutions. Could you set up some sort of phone pairing / tracking alert where if his phone hasn't moved for a day then you call or visit? Or a rota of neighbours, friends, family who call or text or whatever at various times and just report in? (doesn't have to be obvious, you don't have to call round saying "just checking you're not dead", it could be a simple "I was just passing on my way to the shops, do you need anything?")
