[Closed] Now I've had a Phall.....

*Awaits the sound of old shoes falling out of the loft*. Hope you get a good night's sleep, you might be short of that soon - all the best! 🙂

The midwife will get a shock to say the least when the final push comes !

^^^^^^yuck!!!!!

There is something else that's supposed b to help you can do together and far less likely to result in a ring of fire....

Its been 6 hours since I ate the curry and nothing yet....from me or the missus...

Garage dweller....We've been trying that too!! 😉

Now, I thought I'd got away with it too...

*waits*

One of our friends had a home birth.

Her children used to delight in pointing at a patch of carpet in the hall and saying 'That's where Mummy pooed herself!'.

In the OP's case they'd be able to point at the walls and ceiling too if things kick off in the next 24 hours.

For the sake of you both I hope that baby stays exactly where it is for the next couple of days. Was present at both my two daughter's births and have managed to blank out pretty much everything but the arrival itself however I vaguely remember enough to suggest this might have been a mistake...

Doesn't work anyway but as log as enjoyed your curry.

Doesn't work anyway but as log as enjoyed your curry

Ooops! 😀

So when someone asks where you were for the birth of No.3 you'll be able top say 'curled up on the toilet floor with my trousers round my ankles in a puddle of my own excrement, sobbing quietly to myself' - at least if you're lucky enough to make it to the toilet!

Hope the birth goes well 🙂

Hope the birth goes well

The birth of the OPs mud child? I think we've established that that's not going to go well.

In the OP's case they'd be able to point at the walls and ceiling too if things kick off in the next 24 hours.

😆

[img] [/img]

update - the wife has been to the bog this morning and released the evil lurking in her bowels...but still no baby
as for me...i'm back at work and still no sign of the misfortune that Kryton suffered....

I think this is becoming the new 'shit yourself fit' craze on STW

thought that update was going to be that they were going to have to name the littl'un Lewis/Louise

gonzy.

Are you absolutely sure your missus doesn't mind having her toileting schedule broadcast on STW?

Just saying, like - that ring sting might be the least of your worries if she reads this?

^^ hang on...i'll ask her....

Try a tarka, it's like a tikka but a lot 'otter.

[i]^^ hang on...i'll ask her....[/i]

he's been gone nearly an hour, should someone go and look for him?

Nah, he's in the sh**!

he's been gone nearly an hour, should someone go and look for him?

but this probably means she's made a mental note of this and will use it against me at some later date...

Maybe just bop her on the head like a bottle of ketchup.

I want a curry now....

...any movement?

Baby or 'other' ?

Just be on your toes.. the 3rd can arrive very quickly.
Plenty of gas and air and you'll get through it...
Good luck

but this probably means she's made a mental note of this and will use it against me at some later date...

At least you understand how marriage works.

No movement from me or, more importantly, her...

Daftvader - how about a phall?? 😉

EDIT: We ordered 2 phall's and a jalfrezi last night but only touched the phall's...wife finished off the phall at lunchtime today with no side effects...the jalfrezi was my tea this evening....
I think there's more mileage to this thread...

still nothing for me so i guess i've dodged a bullet there....as for wifey...she felt a contraction last night but nothing more so we're still waiting....

The name on the menu can be confusing, our old Local Curry house had a bit of a day of the week randomisation in it, Balti can in a range from mmm thats nice to *************************** my eyes are bleeding. If in doubt add a couple of fresh chillis

Probably will be gonzy... and good luck for mrsgonzy....

[i]i guess i've dodged a bullet[/i]

It was the risk of drowning that you should have considered...

name on the menu can be confusing

the dish wasnt on the menu as there isnt much demand for it...most customers stop at vindaloo...i had to ask the chef to make it especially...i also asked him to make it as hot as possible

Probably will be gonzy... and good luck for mrsgonzy....

thanks...i guess there might be another "i've had a phall" thread soon... 😀
Kryton - you've started a new STW craze...
eat a phall and see if you live to tell the tale... 😉

😆

i'm still alive!!
i defeated the phall!! 😀
still no sign of the baby though...the wife decided to go one step further than the phall last night and had some of this stuff....
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its even hotter than a phall....and still nothing

this baby does not want to vacate the premises!!

Why load up on curry? IIRC babies don't come out of your arse.

The first poo after an episiotomy is going to sting a bit if you carry on down this path.

No farting in the birthing pool!

[img] [/img]

Good luck!

Update: 7 days overdue..then the little finally made his appearance this morning at 5.30am. This was after putting his mum through 37 hours of labour....we both agree though that he was definitely well worth the wait!!

congratulations 🙂

Yay congratulations 😀

I'll post pics later to prove it did happen 😀

Congratulations. 🙂

The baby, not the phall?

Congratulations and best wishes to all concerned!!!

Nice one, happy for you.

Excellent news.... phalls all round!!! 8)

phalls all round

😆

 

Congratulations on your new little dhaling.

Congratulations!

37 hour labour eh? I assume that she has booked you in to be "fixed".

[i]I assume that she has booked you in to be "fixed". [/i]

well he's got to do something to curry favour.

I'll post pics later to prove it did happen

here he is...
[img] [/img]