A good freind of mine once said "What's for you won't go past you" everything happens for a reason 'n' all that 😀

However I'm a great believer of being honest with someone how you feel, ok you may get rejected but at least you won't then spend the rest of your life thinking 'what if'

I think alot of 'facebook' relationships are people hooking up with people they 'let slip' but its very easy to remember stuff with rose tinted glasses on.

If you can still speak to this person tell them how you feel....

What the worst that can happen?

I DOUBLE DARE YOU!!! 😀

I did regret heavily not having the guts to tell one girl how I felt (long time before Mrs Grips). She was fab. Some 13 years later she's now dead 🙁

molgrips - Member

I did regret heavily not having the guts to tell one girl how I felt (long time before Mrs Grips). She was fab. Some 13 years later she's now dead

🙁 oooooooh thats sad

If I wasn't at work, I'd post a youtube link to Tim Minchin, "If I didn't Have You". Worth a look.

oooooooh thats sad

Yeah apparently keeled over at home one evening. I didn't feel much at first, it had been so long ago, but I do still think about her from time to time. Not with longing, I am super happy with Mrs Grips now, but it's still sad.

it is a logical fallacy, if you believe in some kind of fate that someone is the exact right person for you (which is essentially a fairy tale) then the same level of believing in fairy's should reassure you that you will meet the right person.

What, you only get one ??

Nah, I've never believed in there being just one.

I'm just ruminating on the possibility that I've let at least a couple of the distinctly finite quantity of errr....'full spectrum box tickers' pass me by over the years, whether through cowardice, foolishness or sheer misfortune.

Statistically, you're more likely to make the wrong choice.

I'd like to know how the F you know it's "the one" - sort of hooked up with someone I thought I'd be prepared to cut my right arm off for in the past & now it's on the cards I'm pretty ambivalent about the whole thing - for Petes sake I've fancied her for 34 years 😯

I don't think there's just one. I think there's s few times in life you'll meet and there's the chance that person could be your one. It's a mix of chemicals triggered in the brain and timing. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. It's not fate, it's not some random third party (god or fairies or whatever) making it happen, it's just two people triggering the same brain chemicals at the same time... After that, it lasting is down to the two involved. Sh1t happens and how it's fixed is what counts.

Yes

11 years later and I still think about her, even though I'm happily married and have no interest in digging up the past, but I do still regret that it didn't work out. I haven't spoken to her or seen her in person in 11 years.

However I saw pictures of her on Facebook and she's a fat behemoth now so I win.

You need to ask Sarah Greene if she regrets knocking me back all those years ago.

I bet she does.

Am I lucky or unlucky that two spring to mind when thinking of "the one"..

My first one I didn't know about until it was too late. At college friend said to us, so are you going out together or are you close brother n sister. Which is when she told our friend she did fancied me, and I confessed the same. We were both dating other people at the time so nothing came of it, she was actually going out with a close friend of mine. I still wonder about what could've been and she looks exactly the same as she did 15 years ago!

A few years later my friends sister and I clicked, he had hidden her well! I was in charge of a pub/bar/club at the time doing stupid hours (60-80 hrs). She was looking to settle down, I was just starting to enjoy running a club & bar. Once I got a 9-5 job I realised how stupid I was, but it was too late. I still wonder what she's up to.

Double post... getting too excited! 😆

Fancied a girl at uni for 3 years and in our final year she asked me to go to a ball with her. To cut a long story short I managed to f*** it up and didn't go to the ball. Still occasionally think what might have been.

I dunno... The longest relationship I had was a perpetually on/off thing straight after a bad breakup. She was fantastic, and personality wise we clicked really well. I've never laughed so much with someone, ever. But I just didn't fancy her enough; she didn't meet my daft exacting standards at the time about how a girl should look. It ended messily, and she's now married. I do occasionally think that I missed out there, but like bagpuss says, what's for you won't go by you, so I don't regret it.

There were two; one, who I'd been going out with for a couple of years, decided to train as a nurse and moved up to Basingstoke. I could only get up there a couple of times a week, sometimes three, and it was a 170 mile round trip, and eventually she met someone else. I was very upset but it was inevitable. Went to her wedding, she's since divorced and remarried and is a midwife out in the wilds of Cambridgeshire. Still keep in touch although I've not seen her since 2003. Good friend, though.
Second girl I broke up with after six months for reasons that I can't and won't go into but seemed at the time to be for the best. Broke her heart. Got in touch later and realised that after a long chat there had been no need to break up, we'd only needed to talk over imagined issues, and we could have rebuilt the relationship if I'd got in touch within six months, when she met someone else. I've bitterly regretted my mistake ever since. After not being in touch for seven or eight years I saw her last year at a small folk festival in Lechlade where she was a member of a band and we're still friends, although she's sadly now engaged. Biggest mistake of my entire life. 😐

When me and Mrs Flying Ox split up a few years ago (before she was Mrs Flying Ox), word got round at work and two girls confessed their undying lust for me. One of those was SUPREMELY hot -- imagine Alison King but with bigger tatas 😀 -- but I ignored it all to work things out with Mrs Flying Ox. She must therefore be 'The One'.

I am super happy with Mrs Grips [b]now[/b]

Don't want to get you in trouble here, but what's signified by the 'now' part?!

And yes, variously. A girl I was with for a couple of years who lived in Leeds. Lovely, but the fact that we only saw each other at weekends kinda meant it didn't get very far. 🙁
And various other fit/ sweet/ demon in the sack girls who, for whatever reason, I managed to plss off royally. Ah well, they're all stored safely in the bank now, for when I have a few quiet moments alone...

bravohotel8er - Member

"do you ever fear that a girl (or indeed guy) that could have been just right for you slipped away due to circumstances at the time, your fear of rejection, sheer stupidity (hindsight being 20/20 and all that) or just pure misfortune?"

No doubt whatsoever. I don't believe in "the one" but I don't think you get many chances like that one, nothing else has ever come close. Ah well.

Research is telling me that there're plenty of 'not the ones' out there.

There can't just be 'the one' though... can there... what happens if they live at the other end of the country...

possibly "the first one".

I mean if there are lots of "the one"s out there, when you meet the first of them & it clicks, you never get to know about the rest...

This bloke wrote a son about it: