Project - is complimenting a lady's badger not a little bit too far? I know we're all friends, but...
Anyway, it's STW - why are you aiming for the toilet, shouldn't you be pissing in someone's shoes? 😉
Time to dust off the classic...still to be seen last week in a shop window near Fort William...
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The one Mrs toast has running across her garden.
Have you discussed this with her?
If you can't discuss this with her then I'm not sure you should be putting your willy in.
Seriously.
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We've had this discussion before.
If you've still got a foreskin and you're in a rush it sometimes gets in the way. Also, it's not unusual for your japs eye to get glued up a bit with man stuff which can alter flow rate and angle.
Also, it's like a pistol vs rifle for some people.
TBH I think you're going to have to take a dump on the carpet to set a precedent. That way early on the relationship you both know where you stand.
ell_tell - Member
TBH I think you're going to have to take a dump on the carpet to set a precedent. That way early on the relationship you both know where you stand.
errr, not on the brown patch?
As I get older the sink becomes more and more appealing - less aiming and less chance of having to lean down a bit. In fact if I was going to design a urinal I reckon it would look just like a sink.
I may have to get some slippers and a funnel and hose set.
Asked her why she has carpet and not vinyl in the toilet and bathroom she says she cant see a problem with it, and with vinyl you may well slip on the shiny floor wearing socks.
As I get older the sink becomes more and more appealing - less aiming and less chance of having to lean down a bit. In fact if I was going to design a urinal I reckon it would look just like a sink.
A few cheap hotels ive stayed at have urinal sinks fitted . 😳
All you really need is one of those all in one Crime Scene white bunny suits to wear in the house yeah?
Sounds like some sort of Clinical Theatre for surgery..
Best of luck and pee in the sink (as said)
Do let us know how you get in/on.
Plus there's a bath, surely. Is she in France? Over there the toilet and washing facilities are the same place so this issue doesn't arise.
Unless you've not got your little guy toilet trained, just aim... Aim again (best to be sure) and don't try anything too impressive distance wise. Or, go into the bathroom with some black tea and if the worst happens, 'drop' said tea over the offending area...
I think Project writes his name in the pan as he pees at home, looks like he'll miss aiming passed the r..
MUst try that BikeBouy.
I'd guess she's been single for a while, and will be again.
I'll never understand why (other) men insist on standing to piss at their own* toilets, given the aforementioned issues with aiming and the dreaded double-streamer.
Just sit down FFS.
(* naturally you still stand when at minging public toilets - mainly because sitting risks your strides touching the floor, which in most pub bogs is at least an inch deep in pish)
Mrs Toast shoots, scores!
In the immortal words of the Weasel Patrol...
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RUN AWAY!!!
yossarian - Member
Piss in the sink, it's the only way to be safe.
POSTED 2 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST
Why would she have a sink in her bathroom? Or is her toilet in the kitchen?
does she have a bath tub?
Stand in the non-plug end and go nuts
It's either
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OR
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OR
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rossatease - Member
No peeing after sex for you then... (For the benefit of the vast number of 40 yr old virgins on here, it sometimes divides into two different directions
Please tell me you've seen the film 'Hot Rod'...
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Well, technically it's Klunk's badger from the 'Gifs you could watch all day' thread. I just borrowed it. But feel free to compliment me on my borrowed badger!
The point about inappropriate carpet stands.
*Has terrifying flashback to childhood home, which possessed a magenta carpet in the bathroom.*
Just wait till she comes back from a night out wi the girls to find you servicing your forks (fnarr...fnarr) on the living room floor wi oil everywhere.
My last gf tried to get me to fit carpets throughout my house but what's the point? - they'd just get filthy wi the bikes traipsing through the house and i'd get annoyed if i dropped oil over them, bare floorboards is the way to go for the bachelor male.
Well went round there today to fix a small leak on the toilet flush, ballcock problem, and noticed a small glass jewel stuck to the back of the toilet waste and another fixed to the outlet pipe of the sink.
So asked her about them and she said they where warding off evil spirits, and she had had the house Feng Shooed or something similar.There where also loads of scented candles around the bathroom some lit.And it was broad daylight and no power cut.
Any more advice.
Run away to sea, don't stop to collect any belongings, just run.
Fun Shoe your life, and make sure she isn't in it.
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This is a wind-up Shirley?
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Ahhh I know what she is..
Unhinged.
Having said that I'd adopt the mode of taking her mind off things like that and introduce her to pron.
😆
This does make for a fine thread Sir.
Hand her the laptop with STW open... We await the response.
The future consists of obsessive tidyness and multiple cats. Move on before you are trapped.
The future consists of obsessive tidyness and multiple cats.
That describes me rather well...
Well went round there today to fix a small leak on the toilet flush, ballcock problem, and noticed a small glass jewel stuck to the back of the toilet waste and another fixed to the outlet pipe of the sink.So asked her about them and she said they where warding off evil spirits, and she had had the house Feng Shooed or something similar.There where also loads of scented candles around the bathroom some lit.And it was broad daylight and no power cut.
Any more advice.
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Ask her it is safe or will it cause carpet burns?
To echo MrsToast:
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At least you have somewhere comfortable to pass out after a late night drink induced conversation with huey down the ceramic telephone.
lock yourself in the bog,and have a good old fashioned Dirty Protest
warding off evil spirits, and she had had the house Feng Shooed
Mad cow and to be avoided no matter how "nice" she appears on the outside, if you were genuinely serious about her placing crystals to ward off evil spirits then hand your notice in and tell her to do one out of your life, go for a muddy bike ride as she will most likely be building a voodoo doll out of hair she has pulled from your head whilst you slept.
You need to get out of there - sounds just a little bit odd!!!
Why not see how many of these gleaming white carpets you can 'accidentally' drop something on before she decides you are too clumsy to be worth it??
Rachel
ps - if it comes down to a sweepstake, can I have 2 carpets tainted and you're out??
Suspect there's dream catchers in the windows, clanking wind chimes in the garden, whale song in the music collection and much unkempt shrubbery. Been there, got the weird ozric tentacle emlazoned t-shirt and tie-dyed curtains.
Pedal quickly away.
Whoa.
Whooooooa.
Just hold on there one darned minute.
Project?
With a girlfriend?
I mean I seen some things in my time, I seen a housefly, I seen a dragon fly, but I ain't never seen project with a girlfriend!
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