I going to show the Mrs where my cock is later.

My "Mrs Independent Woman" didn't even have draw breath, knew exactly where it was. Shame on me to even to doubt her for one second

Attention Drac, your teenage son has mysteriously found out your login details! 😯

I have a son?

I should have sorted out my leaking plumbing sooner.

Ha, had to do that a couple of months back when the "plumber" who was rerouting the water pipe failed to shut it off, turns out he went to the wrong toby valve. Ended up Scottish water had to come out and shut the main so the reroute could be completed and the actual valves excavated as they were so crapped up.

Fun times.

While part of our house was being renovated I stopped a builder who was about to cut through an old gas pipe with a disk cutter to check if he had turned off the gas as the mains

Turns out he hadn't 😯 . It suspect it would have been quite spectacular if he had gone ahead