Myth/Truth/Things you were told that were or mighgt be a bit true

Swans are responsible for 47% of broken arms for those under 16

If you truely love each other then you can have a baby in five months - Maternal Grandmothers excuse for the mis-written date* on Mums birth certificate.

*mums excuse for the same

argee
Full Member

Swans are responsible for 47% of broken arms for those under 16

We had mental swans at my last work, people'd often comment on broken arms and I'd say that actually, there's not a single verified case of a swan breaking a human's arm. But, there's at least one confirmed murder.

Crows, surely ?

Swans are responsible for 47% of broken arms for those under 16

In my youth (I'm over 60)having a birds egg collection was almost obligatory. The holy grail was a swans egg. Nobody I knew ever had the bottle to try and take one, everybody very much believed in the above 😬

as every Mum knows, going out when it's damp without a coat and scarf will lead to you 'catching your death of cold'

And from my publican Nan; beer then cider, that's a rider. Cider then beer, makes you queer.

73.6% of statistics are made up on the spot

That all men should be blind by their early to mid teens.

If the wind changes your face will stay like that

If you truely love each other then you can have a baby in five months

Or 3.5 months in my parents case!

They just fibbed about their year of marriage when we were kids.

You'd laugh to see a pudding crawl. Yes I probably would, but I've never seen a pudding crawl. But what kind of pudding would crawl? Leads to some disturbing thoughts... A live hamster and apple crumble, or live baby vanilla sponge pudding. I don't know now.

On holiday in Greece I met a woman called Leda. She reckonned that 83.974% of swans could make a person pregnant 47.938% of the time. True story.

Actually, not a true story at all.

From the mid 90's...

Running a triple clamp fork on a hardtail will cause the headtube to break off and you'll die.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks. This does actually have a scientific basis, animals lose neural plasticity when they mature. Human adults retain some neural plasticity and are much better at learning than adult animals.

Laughter is the best medicine: Nope, tried it, drugs are the best medicine.
Sunlight is the best disinfectant: Nope, tried that too, disinfectant is much better.
The pen is mightier than the sword: Haven't tried this one but I'm pretty sure that swords are better if you want to stab someone.

Running a triple clamp fork on a hardtail will cause the headtube to break off and you’ll die.

I've seen it happen, although he didn't die, he just limped a bit.

I have actually met a person that had their arm broken by a swan. She was from Dublin and I’m not sure I can remember seeing swans when I visited there, so only have her word that it was a swan that did the breaking.

My grandmother, also Irish, was constantly telling us that we should wrap up warm or we would “catch the pip”. I think she meant a cold, but “the pip” is apparently some sort of STI, so lord knows what she was thinking. She did come from a small village though, so it could have meant something different to her.

If you swallow chewing gum then it will stick inside your stomach and an apple tree will grow out of your mouth.

Or something like that.

I once slipped on a banana skin!

Or..Don't swallow chewing gum, it's made from mouse tails and stays in your stomach...for evvaaaa.

Sitting on a cold step will give you piles.
Or just a numb bum.

Don't pull a face, one day the wind will change and you will look like that.

Grandma_oab, circa 1985.

You’d laugh to see a pudding crawl. Yes I probably would, but I’ve never seen a pudding crawl. But what kind of pudding would crawl?

"You would laugh to see a pudding crawl..." Spock read aloud, an eyebrow almost rocketing off his face. "...a fascinating image."

Kirk gave him a weird look. "I never thought I'd say this, but that's one of the only phrases I haven't heard Bones say."

"That is hardly surprising, Jim, as it originates in Britain."

I think by a very convoluted route the 'crawl' was originally 'creep' and a meaning of 'creep' was 'go to waste'.

I grant that Rainbowes being lull'd asleep,
Snort like a woodknife in a Lady's eyes;
Which makes her grieve to see a pudding creep,
For Creeping puddings only please the wise.

Seeing a pudding creep is something that would normally be upsetting  so saying that someone would laugh at something good going to waste isnt painting them in a very flattering light.

I'm gonna hazard a guess that this is good advice.
https://twitter.com/rumpfshaker/status/1571969845117480960

If you swallow chewing gum then it will stick inside your stomach

We were told it would stick to your heart and stop it beating. Which worried me as a 7 year old because I’d swallowed some the previous day and was worried about how many days I had left.

The pen is mightier than the sword: Haven’t tried this one but I’m pretty sure that swords are better if you want to stab someone.

Never bring a pen to a sword fight.

[i]We were told it would stick to your heart and stop it beating. Which worried me as a 7 year old because I’d swallowed some the previous day and was worried about how many days I had left.[/[i]

I would be more worried about the route it took to get from throat to heart!

Sitting on cold concrete will give you piles.

Just remembered a couple from school

Girls can't get pregnant if they 'do it' standing up.
Girls can't get pregnant by boys in the swimming club" because of the chlorine

*This was probably spread by boys in the swimming club

The chewing gum one is interesting. I don't know anyone who actually chews it up and swallows it.

I don’t know anyone who actually chews it up and swallows it.

I do. I've busted my face up several times and my jaw and teeth ache unless I chew gum constantly. I usually just swallow it. One time I went to the dentist and forgot that I was chewing gum. She obviously didn't want to work with a piece of gum in my mouth so I just swallowed it in front of her. She was appalled and told me the old wives' tale about it being indigestible and collecting in your stomach. Made me wonder where she got her licence from if she doesn't understand how a digestive system functions.

Saying p******* will result in you getting one.

Killing a wasp will cause other wasps to attack you.

Was reminded of this the other day - In the 70s I had long 70s hair. One evening an older friend of ours told us to keep away from bats as they will fly down and get stuck in your hair. I believed this, unquestioning. Only recently reconsidered that he might've just been trying to freak us out! Echo-location would be a bit crap if they flew into people's heads on a regular basis!

If you swallow apple pips a tree will start growing inside your stomach.
Why do adults tell you this stuff? Terrifying 😂

I used to go to this tall old building in the village on Sundays and the people in there used to go on about some bloke that was supposed to live in the sky. They reckoned that he made everything and would get you and put you in fire underground if you were bad.
I know right!?
Ridiculous. 🙄

Killing a wasp will cause other wasps to attack you.

Is this not true? An attacked wasp releases pheromones which summon reinforcements, so you shouldn't fap at them in a panic. No?

🤣 Obviously that should say 'flap'. I could edit the typo but...

Well, we've all done it.

Santa.
As a kid it just seemed normal that some strange old bloke was going to come down the chimney (we had a Baxi Bermuda gas fire so how was that going to work?) and then head upstairs into my bedroom while everyone else was asleep. What's not freaky about that?!
Wind forward several years, once my daughter was old enough to understand the concept she completely freaked about the whole idea and was terrified at the thought of it.
Why do we do this to our kids (see comments above about religion, swallowing gum etc). Psychological terror!

once my daughter was old enough to understand the concept she completely freaked about the whole idea and was terrified at the thought of it.

My daughter asked how Santa knows if kids have been good or bad so I told her that elves are always watching, but they're really good at hiding and it's really hard to find them. She really freaked out, "Are they watching me now?"

Is this not true?

Possibly, an per the thread title

Was it someone on here was told the big gasometer in town contained Ribena? And only found out years later when he asked his dad to pick him up next to the Ribena tank.

Was it someone on here was told the big gasometer in town contained Ribena? And only found out years later when he asked his dad to pick him up next to the Ribena tank.

That is brilliant!

Was reminded of this the other day – In the 70s I had long 70s hair. One evening an older friend of ours told us to keep away from bats as they will fly down and get stuck in your hair. I believed this, unquestioning. Only recently reconsidered that he might’ve just been trying to freak us out! Echo-location would be a bit crap if they flew into

I dunno, seemingly if you put a blanket out vertically you can catch them as it doesn't reflect.

Obviously that should say ‘flap’. I could edit the typo but…

And now I'm never going to look at those Bug-a-salt guns the same again.

I remember the collective shock wave across the internet  (in a pre Facebook era) as the North West English diaspora realised at once that Purple Aki was real. It was like a disturbance in the force.

And now I’m never going to look at those Bug-a-salt guns the same again.

Officer I was just cleaning it and it went off in my hand.

It's more likely to rain on a Thursday than any other day of the week. Told to me at school; the logic being something around factories run Monday to Friday, and by Thursday the concentration of particulates in the air is high enough to cause cloud formation and precipitation.
Always sounded quite plausible, but I never bothered to check if it was true.

I remember the collective shock wave across the internet (in a pre Facebook era) as the North West English diaspora realised at once that Purple Aki was real.

I'm still not sure what to believe about Purple Aki.

87% of swans have sneaked into someones bedroom during the night and repeatedly whispered to them that swans can break your arm, in order to maintain their tyrannical grip on a fearful nation as the mythical scourge of the fracture clinic

It’s more likely to rain on a Thursday than any other day of the week. Told to me at school; the logic being something around factories run Monday to Friday, and by Thursday the concentration of particulates in the air is high enough to cause cloud formation and precipitation.

Our weekly night ride is on a Thursday. It definitely feels like the weather is worse on a Thursday than on any other day of the week. (I ride all week, so obviously this can't possibly be bias confirmation! 😀 )

The chewing gum thing isn't entirely without foundation.

It doesn't digest and can harden over time which has, on rare occasion, been known to block the intestine of children with poor digestive motility.

I'd wager they didn't swallow one tiny piece either but probably a whole packet of that menthol licorice pk stuff you used to get in a single go.

Just going back to the first post:

I will pass on my paternal grandmothers pearl of wisdom. Girls can only get pregnant when gorse is in bloom.

Your granny was right, gorse can bloom all year round. There's plenty of the stuff on the coast around here, and I've seen it in full bloom in the middle of the winter.

From https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/ :

It generally flowers from January to June (although it may flower sporadically throughout the year), while its close relatives - Western gorse and dwarf gorse - flower from July to November. Common gorse is a large shrub and a member of the pea family.

I didn't know it was a pea!

Masturbation will make you go blind

@ Maccruisekeen I had a friend who he approached in a Warrington Gym.

Conkers can repel spiders & earwigs can give you a nasty bite.

Masturbation will make you go blind

Can I not just do it until I need glasses?

As kids we were kept quiet by being sat in front of the telly watching that trippy off-air holding screen thing. You know, the little girl playing noughts and crosses with a clown or something. Crafty adults used to tell us that occasionally the girl would stab the clown in the eye with the chalk. We'd watch for ages before turning round in disbelief, whereupon they'd point to the telly and shout "there! you missed it!"

Not true.

Put bicarb on a bee sting and vinegar on a wasp sting. Just nonsense although vinegar may denature the venom it'd have to get under your skin so be injected in.

Come to mind as I've just had to change a test to remove this question.

Cooling towers actually cloud factories.
Wind is caused by trees moving their branches, like giant fans.

I've cream vans only sound their chimes when they've run out of ice cream.

Oh and also (having just had to re-type 'their' 5 times), "I before E except after C".

Bollox.

You know, the little girl playing noughts and crosses with a clown or something.

Test Card F. The little girl was the designer's daughter.

You know, the little girl playing noughts and crosses with a clown or something.

Test Card F. The little girl was the designer’s daughter.

You think...

Myth/Truth/Things you were told that were or mighgt be a bit true

😀

“I before E except after C” when the sound is EEEE

Without the last bit there are so many exceptions that it isn't much use. Mind you, this works best with a strong Chorley accent where they pronounce their as thee-er

Beat me to it.

My brother told me that spare ribs actually came from people who were born with too many and had to have them removed, hence the name. I didn’t eat them for years as a result. To be fair I was about six when he told me this, the bastard.

That's just reminded me of the foreskins scene from Preacher... 🤣

so you shouldn’t fap at them in a panic. No?

i may just have strained something laughing at picturing that.  thank you

not

Haven’t tried this one but I’m pretty sure that swords are better if you want to stab someone.

You've not seen Jason Bourne do his thing with a Bic? Bourne in a Rymans branch would need some serious fire-power to dislodge.