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The Mrs has just come into the living room wearing a little pvc number, stockings and high heels. She handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'.
I can't wait.
I f*****g love shepards pie
Are you here all week? Available for weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, funerals etc?
Don't forget to tip your waitress.
😆
I thought you were having some sort of kinky boom boom ... 😆
My mrs has been a right pita today cos of the storms, she keeps standing at the window shouting and swearing!
I'm still not letting her in though..
Just bought a Fiat Punto off Bonnie Tyler. It goes alright, but every now and then it falls apart.
The Grim Reaper came for me last night. I had to beat him off with my vacuum cleaner........ Talk about Dyson with death!
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
Whiteboards ... are remarkable.
What cheese can you hide a horse behind?
Nacho cheese.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eyed deer.
(and 5 mins later)
What you you call a deer with no legs, no ears, no eyes, in a southern european country, in a lay-by and on fire?
Still, flaming, deaf in italy, no eyed deer, by the way.
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I was rarely smacked as a child.
Just half a gram now and then to get me off to sleep....
A Sloth got mugged by a gang of snails. When quizzed by the jungle police, it said,
" I don't know, it happened all so quickly".
matt_outandabout - Member
What cheese can you hide a horse behind?
Nacho cheese.
FAIL - Shirley you mean mask-a-pony?
Carlos, class. Me likey!
Yes Carlos, big fail... 🙁
I don't get the nacho cheese thing .....
I don't get the nacho cheese thing .....
You also didn't read the rest of the thread 8)
I did, I did !
How does a Welshman make cheese?
"carefully"
How do you get a duck to sing soul?
Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.