[Closed] My List of People..

On a similar subject...inconsiderate gits who park in front of the airline/water with no intention of using them and go into the shop for ages preventing anyone else from using them.

People who don't put the next customer thingie on the belt after their shopping.

Their time will come.

Anglers

"Oh no, Maureen, we can't go to the pump on the other side of the car, it'll never reach. Let's block the road and wait here instead...."

Die.

bloody intolerant people

Whoever it was that ate the last of my habanero chilli spiced peanuts at work on Wednesday.

May your demise be a slow and painful one.

People who tailgate, don't move over approaching slip-roads & any mouth breathers in general

Mobility Scooter drivers who are perfectly capable of walking or riding a bike.

Fish murderers for sport.

Roadies who ride two abreast on single lane highways

Car drivers who don't notice bikes

Bankers

Politicians

Lawyers (Human rights lawyers particularly)

cranberry - Member
People who don't put the next customer thingie on the belt after their shopping.

Their time will come.

Not soon enough 😈

The writers, cast and production crew of 'My Family'.

People who put their feet on seats on public transport.

Tailgaters.

Operators of mobile speed cameras.

Anyone who has ever watched and enjoyed the X Factor.

Any male who has ever worn 'Capri' pants.

People who look their phone when you're trying to talk to them.

People who think video games are responsible for violence.

Nicky Campbell, Richard Bacon, Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo.

Anyone who has ever appeared on 'Thought for the day', apart from Lionel Blue, who will just get a VERY severe talking to.

People who complain about the Welsh speaking their own language in their own country.

Any footballer suspected of simulating injury will be hung from the crossbar at half time.

All employees of any company who deliberately incorrect English in the name of their product: Kwik Fit, Angel Delite etc.

Any man who has spent more than £5.00 on a haircut.

People chatting at gigs.

Anyone who started supporting Manchester City after they won the Premiership.

Carlos Tevez.

Whoever it was that ate the last of my habanero chilli spiced peanuts at work on Wednesday.

May your demise be a slow and painful one.

People who use management buzzwords. I'd give them some kind of testy-death thing, where every nonsense word or phrase they use in explaining what they do day to day brings the spinning blade closer.
"Acquihiring" is a new one I heard today.

women at the checkout,who despite only buying a few things, need to pay by card,then pluck a load of card out of their bag, and then insert one into card reader, chanting their pin number out loud.

The fat ones who buy all the reduced cakes late at night at the supermarket,despite not having any need for more than one.

Security staff, who think theyre traioned by the SAS, and follow you round a store, pretending to hide behind shelves,

Parents and dog owners who have no control over their kids,

People who park in the disabled spaces,

People who park in the disabled spaces

You hate disabled people? That's a bit harsh...

DrP

Ps - I knew what you meant 😉

All employees of any company who deliberately incorrect English in the name of their product: Kwik Fit, Angel Delite etc.

I add to my list the following;
People who suck at pedantry.

[img] [/img]

😉

So the threatening letters and envelopes filled with, well never mind what they were filled with, worked!

When did they change that then?

Oh and anyone who uses pointless Americanisms. 'Suck' indeed.
Nanny would be [i]livid[/i].

Piers Moron

All employees of any company who deliberately incorrect English in the name of their product:

Bus drivers who don’t wait for people to sit down before pulling away from the bus stop;
Taxi drivers who use their horns instead of knocking on the door;
People who moan at the council about the streets being full of litter, not stopping to think that it is people who drop litter, not the council;
A room full of drama teachers listening to Bjork;
Grown men with replica shirts worn over their jumpers, who stand up and stretch out their arms when the opposing team fail to hit the target;
An assortment of scriptwriters, novelists and playwrights who own Agas but don’t know how to use them;
A musical equipment reviewer responsible for an article titled “Microphone of the Month”;
A woman who described herself as “A little bit Bridget, a little bit Ally, a little bit Sex And The City” and chose to call her baby boy Fred as a childishly rebellious attempt at a clever reaction to those who might have expected her to call him Julian or Rupert. Bit of advice: call him Rupert, it fits, and besides it’s a good name. Don’t be calling him Fred or Archie, with all its cheeky but lovable working class scamp connotations, unless you really do have plans for him to spend his life in William Hill’s waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot.
Also being held is a whole wall full of teenagers spitting needlessly;
An amateur thug in camouflage trousers whose Japanese fighting dog had run amok on a Swindon council estate;
A man from the record company who said that George Michael continues to challenge social taboos through his music;
Lisa Riley;
Continuity announcers introducing comedy shows;
A pub band who get uppity when everyone goes to the bar during a song they’ve written themselves;
A group of football fans referred to as Commodores, as in once, twice, three times a season, who feed sugar lumps to police horses at Cup Finals;
An artist who said his next album would be more “song-based”;
A man who informs people that he gets up at six am every morning and seemed to want a medal;
People who say they speak as they find and are somehow proud of it;
Journalists who try to spell an interviewee’s laugh;
An organisation who declared an awareness week for awareness weeks;
And a council worker who dropped litter.

From: Half Man Half Biscuit: Breaking News - lyrics http://www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/cammell-laird-social-club-2002/breaking-news/#ixzz291NkSQEx

Lazy checkout workers who sit there chatting to 'next door' while you unload a massive shop on the conveyor belt, and only ask if you want help packing when you've finished. Now I just tell them to make a start, really what I should do is wait for them to ask, say yes and stand there and watch them.

Whats wrong with Kermode and Mayo?

There are more reasons than that for Kwik Fit employees

Drivers behind who beep at you to enter the yellow box when there's nowhere to go! People who tailgate when there is scope to overtake!

🙂 Don't forget:

Pigface - Member

Whats wrong with Kermode and Mayo?

Nothing setting them on fire wouldn't cure.
The two smuggest, most self satisfied human beings on the face of the planet.
Both take self love to a level only previously attained by David Hasselhoff on MDMA.
Aglow with delusions of adequacy, they pollute the airwaves with their endless mutual aural self abuse.

On the petrol station theme, those utter scum who dilly-dally on the forecourt, often blocking the entrance and causing a mini-tailback whilst they wait for one of the pumps on the right to become available.

Meanwhile, there are a load of left facing pumps going entirely unused.
Why do you think they put pumps on both sides you ****s, stretch the pump around the boot and fill-up!!!11one211111****111one11!!1

I predict a whole lotta stomach ulcers amongst you lot!

People who park with two wheels on the pavement on a road wide enough for two cars, thus making pushchairs have to walk on the road.
People who don't indicate at roundabouts.
People who sit in the middle/outside lane.
People who drop litter.
people who vote tory.

People who stand in front of you for ages in a queue, then when they get their turn start worrying about in pockets and handbags looking for cards and cash.

People who talk in the cinema. People who leave their shite all over the place in the cinema. People who constantly fiddle with their phone in the cinema. Parents who bring too-young / bored kids to the cinema. People who loudly slurp drinks and rustle food in the cinema. Actually, all people in the cinema who aren't me.

People who enter a shop or get to the top of the escalators and then stop dead.

People who smoke right outside shops/office doorways.

People who have personalised number paltes on small cars,

People who analyse all the fruit in a supermarket, and then buy one apple or banana,

People who cant reverse park at a supermarket or into their driveway,

People who believe in the Daily Mial,, and itv breakfast tv,

Doctors receptionists

The security manager at a well know exhibition centre in London who declined my request to park in a huge EMPTY parking area opposite where I needed to work "because there was a show on" meaning I had to lug 100 kilos of test equipment an extra 250metres.

The bloke who said "your names not on the list you're not parking here", even though we've used that parking area for at least the last 10 years.

project - Member

People who have personalised number paltes on small cars,

Got a big car, have we? 🙂

Ok Spanner I think you are beyond wrong but it takes all sorts.

Bregante - Member

People who smoke right outside shops/office doorways.
Posted 9 minutes ago # Report-Post

I hate those people and I'm a smoker!

People who block pumps at petrol stations when they are stopping to buy 20 B&H and the Daily Fail.
Morons who think driving at over 20mph in a full supermarket car park is clever/ acceptable/ funny
Idiots who text whilst driving
Bike thieves
Dog sh1t leavers
The lad across the road's mates who beep every time they drive past his mum and dads house ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr

Moderators.

[quote=schrickvr6 ]Lazy checkout workers who sit there chatting to 'next door' while you unload a massive shop on the conveyor belt, and only ask if you want help packing when you've finished. Now I just tell them to make a start, really what I should do is wait for them to ask, say yes and stand there and watch them.

what did your last servant die of?

Anyway, I suspect that everybody on this thread is somewhere on the list. see ya in gulag 🙂

Being held up in a queue by old biddies/gits that spend an age rooting around their wallets / purses searching for shrapnel and loose coins to pay for their shopping without using paper cash. Pull out a note FFS and get on with it.

I'm pretty sure between you lot there would be nobody on this world left alive. 😆

Those smartarses who design web pages and think they know what the end user wants.

People who book work and never send it in, dispite being asked to let me know if the booking slot is not convienient. 👿

Ageist people who don't realise it will be them one day

On the petrol station theme, those utter scum who dilly-dally on the forecourt, often blocking the entrance and causing a mini-tailback whilst they wait for one of the pumps on the right to become available.

Meanwhile, there are a load of left facing pumps going entirely unused.
Why do you think they put pumps on both sides you *, stretch the pump around the boot and fill-up!!!11one211111*111one11!!1

people who design and manufacture petrol pumps, and install them with a sign saying "extra long hose" and a diagram demonstrate how you can fuel your car from either side of the pump...... and infact the hose isn't [i]quite[/i] long enough.

who ever designs and manufactures the fancy new fangled coin operated air and water pump for garage forecourts, with the sexy digital display and the useful bleeps when you reach a set pressure. And which are [i]all[/i] out of order 95% of the time.

People who take ages at cashpoints
People who leave their trolley in the middle of the aisle in supermarkets
People who spit on the street
People who have the TV on all the time
People who interrupt. Often the same as
People who have to "win" conversations

I've been up and down the list of possibles and there can be only one top entry............

That damned woman that narrates on Masterchef.

Ageist people who don't realise it will be them one day

When I'm an ald goat, I would be disappointed if I couldn't inconvenience the young and make them complain illiterately on their 4D holo-projection web 3.0 forums. Such is the circle of life. I'm rather looking forward to it.

Council bean counters who think it is okay to decriminalise parking, making it a council affair and not a police one, recruit a load of traffic wardens, yet get rid of the wardens from the sheltered housing.

Phuckinidioti****bagheadphucks.

People who talk incessantly but have nothing interesting to say. Ever.

People who take up too much space on the pavement. Not (just) fat people, but people who wear many layers of clothing topped off with an oversized goretex jacket when it's a warm Summer's day and wear a HUGE rucksack and carry a number of bags... just to walk to the office. You're not off on a 6 month expedition up the Zambezi are you? FFS...

Groups of people (i.e. more than 2) who walk so slowly that a funeral procession would be tutting, and just HAVE to spread themselves across the whole pavement, completely blocking it.

I'm so glad guns are illegal in this country....

I've been up and down the list of possibles and there can be only one top entry............

That damned woman that narrates on Masterchef.

Na. Morrisey. Or mark lawrenson.

People who have to "win" conversations

I was going to go with intolerant people, but I will cheerfully add these bellends, [i]and[/i] be first in the queue to present my CV when the opening for executioner becomes available..

The righteously indignant that spend too much time on forums getting all vexed and het-up about stuff on what are clearly light hearted threads 😀

The guy/ girl who's 2 steps in front of you going through a door but doesn't hold it for you!......Grrrrrrrrrr!

Slow riders who ruin your strava run. String em up!

deluded - Member

The righteously indignant that spend too much time on forums getting all vexed and het-up about stuff on what are clearly light hearted threads

I don't think anyone's actually taking it seriously are they?

yunki - Member

People who have to "win" conversations

I was going to go with intolerant people, but I will cheerfully add these bellends, and be first in the queue to present my CV when the opening for executioner becomes available..

Everyone!

Only way to be sure.

a bit of lighthearted fun, isn't it?

it had better flippin well not be or I've just completely wasted the last three years of my life.. 😐

I meant this thread, not the serious ones.

Vital subjects like road gearing, pies and Thatcher deserve all the frowny browed concentration and passive/aggressive nastiness we can muster. 😐

Vital subjects like road gearing, pies and Thatcher deserve all the frowny browed concentration and passive/aggressive nastiness we can muster

[img] [/img]

People who can't work out that you are riding 2 abreast on a road because it would be dangerous to squeeze past one of you.
People not using the electronic passport line when the normal queue is massive.
Parents who get stung by the what my kids bee and develop a complete blindness.

The Dutch

People who park over 2 spaces in car parks
People who press the button for the green man.... Then don't even bloody wait for it.. When did people loose the ability to cross a bloody road..
People who drive at 20mph in a 30... Just to be safe
People who scutter about in front of u when shopping
People who complain about being tired because they were "up at 6am for work, and never finished until 4pm" poor darlings, I was up at 1am and never finished until 5pm...now **** off.
Lane hoggers
Selfish people
Drivers driving round town at night with side lights on.. When did that start to be acceptable?
People who indicate right at a roundabout and go straight on????? Really? Were u taught to do that? Bet you weren't! If you are going straight on all you need is an exit indication...
The fad bikers... Oh let's take the kids mountain biking.. Fair enough but don't take them on a red graded trail then have a go at me for riding to fast on the "bumby bits"
The "won't work" brigade... They think the country ows them a living... You have to actually contribute to the country first. I heard an unemployed junki shouting at the police " I deserve respect, I pay your wages with my tax". No you don't because you don't work and therefore don't pay tax.. Now be off with you, go and play with the traffic and save me some money
Oh and students who study shit and pointless subjects.... GET A JOB.

I could go on buy that is just a taster.. I'm not an angry person really.

Mancunians.

People who bang on about how holy they are because the work such amount of shite hours - **** off and get a better job then if your so dedicated.

Kindle's when did they become accepted! Books are cheap enough

People who eat breakfast, get dressed, put make-up in the car at 88mph

the sweaty bastards on trains

Finally, ****ing short people with umbrella's!!

P.s I'd love a any job/career right now

People who fail to realise that my silence and blank stare indicate that I no longer wish to listen to them and that they should desist from speaking.

Also whoever I caught the shits off last weekend. 4 days and counting, arse like a Wigan rosette. Not happy.

Thinking back quicker to have the list of who lives

The Dutch

Amen brother!

thegreatape - Member

Also whoever I caught the shits off last weekend. 4 days and counting, arse like a Wigan rosette. Not happy.

Morcambe Bay Prawn?

People who dont wave or nod an acknowledgment when you let them out of a junction
People who spout a load of crap about Thatcher in politcial debates but have never actually experienced real oppression under a South American dictarship or the Stasi in East Germany (if you have carry on)
People who litter out on the trail

Women aged between 54-62 who don't say thanks when you hold a door open for them, or even worse tut and/or roll their eyes.

Those men who drive Miniature Trains-- creepy

Those men who drive Miniature Trains-- creepy

Morcambe Bay Prawn?

Most likely

My List also includes:

White guys with dredlocks

Women in crop tops whose midriffs should be covered/hidden

Lawyers, the scum of Capitalism.

It's an easy one for me.
You know when someone shoots down the outside lane at the lights and then squeezes in front of you? That's fine, no problems if someone is in a rush. What really gets my goat is when they don't say thanks. They don't have to declare their undying love for me, just a little wave of the hand or a brake light flash to say 'thanks, I realise you could have just blocked me getting in but you didn't, so thanks for letting me in. The fact that I am now at this point in the line is purely down to your generosity and nothing to do with my driving whatsoever'.

That's all I want but they don't do it. So now they must die.

Selfish people

That's just another way of saying 'everyone' isn't it?

The guy on the train in front of me using his ipad (natch) to choose between buying a Castelli espresso due and a Rapha softshell jacket.

He's lucky I'm not armed this morning.

This thread feels like I've stumbled into the BBC's Grumpy Old Men brainstorming session ...