And i just dont know what to do.
He's a big beautiful golden doodle named Bear. He's had a gammy leg for a while but over the past few days he appears to have lost the strength of his rear legs, really wobby when walking, and struggles to get up by himself.
He's still alert, loving his cuddles and eating and drinking fine. I just don't know what to do. In reality I know he's not got long left, but he still wags his tail, he doesn't appear to be in pain and still appears happy. He never moved much in past 3 months anyway, loves to sleep, so in reality his daily activity really hasn't changed much. He's Comfortable.
I want to do the best for my best pal, but I look at him and he looks content. I don't think he'd want me to put him down..I think he still wants to eat sausage rolls and have his ears scratched.
How can I ever make this decision?
Absolutely heartbreaking decision to have to make. All my sympathy.
Our Labradoodle Barney went a similar way really with back legs collapsing and not being able to get up.
It destroyed me to watch him try to move.
I guess it became obvious at some point that it was time but it helped to get opinion from vets etc.
When he couldn't go to the toilet by himself it was too much struggle for him to deal with.
Hardest thing ever, inviting a man into your home to put your dog to sleep 😔
Really sorry.
How long did you wait kayak? He can still get out and do a wee and poo. It's a struggle but once he's up he can stand on his own..
It's sad to see him struggle, but his favourite thing was always just lying about getting a cuddle and he can still do that.
Yesterday he got himself up a few times on his own, but today he's not even tried. Had to haul him up so he could go outside for toilet. Going to vet later today but I suspect I know what they will say. I imagine he's not going to see christmas
There was a thread a while back with a quote that stood out for me, better a day too soon than a day too late. It's not fair to make them suffer just to delay our own.
I say this, but when the time comes for me to do it, I'll be at the cross roads summoning whoever I can and selling my soul for another day.
We got a similar position with a previous dog and it's horrible but, with the benefit of hindsight, we probably waited too long.
I know I don't know him, and I know I don't know you, but when it's time, it's time, and the fact that you're asking the question probably means that you know that it's time.
Twice I have had to make that decision and twice I have felt terrible and hated myself for having to do it, despite knowing deep down that it was in their best interest.
Give Bear huge hugs and treats and spend time with him now. If you do have to make that call, remember him being full of beans and energy and not as he is now.
Horrible position to be in. We were in a similar situation during COVID and couldn't be present with our Clyde, our rescue greyhound, when they had to put him to sleep. I woke up crying for a week.
You have my deepest sympathies. Give that boy all the love you can and be there with him when it's time.
I must do the vacuuming in here more often, dammit
Ah sorry to hear this tp. I have been in exactly the same position with our pup.
He couldn't get up on his own, which was the signal to firstly call the vet for a chat. He could walk but had to be helped up. It was very upsetting to see and it still makes me weep now 5 years on so you have my sympathy. But the final test was passed when he didn't want to eat, even his favourite food. That was the next day.
We booked our vet, for the following day after that. The vet knew our dog for the whole of his 17 years, and said the end was here - he was clearly not in pain but the body was going through the process of gradually shutting down.
That night we spent in turns sleeping with him, and then at dawn he looked at us and closed his eyes for the last time and died. No fuss or drama, no stress for him and I am as confident as I can be that he experienced no pain. He was just very old and his body gave up.
We buried him in his favourite woods, wrapped in his sheepskin bed.
I was dreading the end, but for him and us it was a beautiful finale to a long life, and on his terms.
Yeah as soon as he stops eating then there will no decision to be made. But right now he's eating like a horse, as he always does.
He has managed to get up just now, probably heard food was in the go. So he can struggle to his feet if he's that way inclined.
Will see what vet says. I appreciate everyone comments
In the aftermath of the inevitable, go easy on yourself.
Unfortunately the hardest part of dog ownership and it doesn’t get any easier having been there four times. It is worth talking to your vet to make sure your dog isn’t in any pain or discomfort because they’re really good at masking it.
For me it’s been the point when your dog no longer wants to get up to greet you in the morning and particularly if they are soiling themselves.
Come the time it’s worth checking if the vet does home visits plus asking for a pre-med that puts the animal to sleep and gives you time for your final cuddles and goodbyes.
We'll be definitely getting the vet to ours when the time comes. It's the least the old boy deserves
Kin' hell. That's me welling up with my thoughts.
Take care of yourself op.
I feel you pain, I think we will be faced with the same situation next year. We have a German Shepherd who's slowing down and finds it difficult to get up sometimes, particularly on tiles and wooden floors. We have placed rugs and sections of carpets at her favourite spots that she lies down on to make it easier on her and it helps hugely. It's only her legs that are letting her down, her hearing, sense of smell, eyesight and ability to bark very loudly are great. I dread the day we've to make the big decision. My wife has said she prefer to see me go than the dog, I think she's joking...
Thanks guys.
I remember last time I was at the vet. Some massive nutcase looking lad with tats all up his neck was sitting opposite me, no animal with him, just crying his eyes out.
It was brutal, just went over and gave him a hug. Reminded me there's zero shame in balling your eyes out when the time comes.
I just don't know what to do.
I think you do 😟
We lost our eldest cocker at the end of September - we actually had her booked in but she simply fell asleep watching TV.
Please be sensible about this. It's definitely not about you and I bet the vast majority leave it too late simply because they can't imagine dealing what is actually inevitable.
I imagine he's not going to see christmas
Honestly the longer you leave it the worse it's going to be. It's literally the very worst thing to have to do but it's also the most important thing you can do for your pal.
So hard. There is nothing wrong with doting on a pet.
Our German Shepherd is 12. Signs of hip dysplasia but still young in the head.
We are using resistance bands to help her stop dragging her rear paws (physio prescribed). We go for hydrotherapy and laser treatments to loosen off her muscles, which all seems to be helping.
Feel for you.
Our 12 year old poodle is on borrowed time. Took her to the vet after she became incontinent. Scan showed big tumour o her bladder.
Vet offered referral to Vet Hosp but cautioned that even if they cut it out the cancer was liable to return. We chose not to put her through a major op. Meds have controlled symptoms and she is comfortable. Even put a bit of weight on. So X months left.
I had to make this decision recently.
I was told by a vet many years ago, "Better one week early, than after a month of suffering". Best advice I've ever had.
It might have been me with better a day to early than late. Although I obviously got it from somewhere.
Big Dave went about 6 weeks ago and my parents dog last week.
It sounds harsh but I'd say now is the time. My last dog's back end was going and it was Christmas and we just couldn't but that was our sentimentality and was definitely not what was best for him.
Not an easy call. Given I'm just back from a funeral I feel for you with a bit more sadness than what is already the saddest thing.
We are in the same boat at the mo, our spaniel is approaching 14 and his problems are mounting. Canvassing others, the general feeling we are getting, is that in hindsight, most people feel that they didn't do it soon enough.
We plan on giving him some food that he wouldn't normally get due to his kidney disease and getting a vet round to do it at home.
Our first dog died suddenly at 9, so we never had to make this awful decision. That said, I think that was worse in some ways and took a lot of getting over...
Christ i don't think Lola has had so many hugs in her life.
Lost my big lad earlier in the year and it's still pretty raw.
It was absolutely in the 'a week or so early' period though. I know he wasn't ready to go, and I know that he still wanted to live. He was still getting joy out of elements of his life and while he didn't really want to eat his food, he would eat the special meals I was preparing for him.
Letting him go was the hardest choice we have ever made, and doing so when he was still his curious inquisitive self made it so much harder. But the scan showed us that those happy days were likely to be over soon, the time scale was days to weeks, and the chances of him having a very uncomfortable end increased the longer we left it. There was only one decision really.
A couple of years prior to cancer taking him form us he was struggling with mobility and slowing down loads - I was worried his time was coming near then but it turned out to be a combination of arthritis and joint overuse compensating for the pain. This was helped by medication, daily physio exercises and a physio visit every couple of weeks. He went from very creaky old man to happy and mobile again in just a few weeks and continued to improve for months. Had it not been for the cancer I am confident he would still have been bouncing round today. Dogs are buggers for hiding their actual pain.
Go easy on yourself tp. There is absolutely no guilt or shame in going what is right for him
These stories are so hard to read, you all have my deep sympathy. We've only had our fluffy boy since the summer and I can't imagine how hard it will be when his time comes, hopefully many years from now 🙏
I still miss my childhood dog, even though it's been 15+ years since he went off to roll in the great fox poo in the sky. I guess it's a balancing of the scale for all the love we get while we have them, but Jeez it's tough.
Hope you can enjoy the time you have left together and he has a peaceful exit when it comes.
So sorry to hear this. It's always dreadful at the end - dogs lives are just too short.
All I can say from our experience, is that you'll probably know when its the right time.
Our previous dawgie got cancer in the base of his tongue 😪 at just under 10 years old. Had surgery / chemo 1st time, but as we knew would happen at some point, came back. We took him to see our daughter who's in Devon the weekend before seeing the specialist vets again. He loved it and a play in a river, like he was a 2 year old again for a while. When we saw the specialist who confirmed nothing was realistic could be done the 2nd time, he came home with us as we said 'today isn't the day yet'. He has a couple more weeks of being doted on, trips to the pub beer garden, fed with ham, roast chicken, and anything else he wanted and could eat. He let us know when he'd had enough.
Dogs are buggers for hiding their actual pain.
I had it explained once that they're all right until they're not and the change can be instantaneous.
We missed one dog's problems because he masked so well (several holes in his intestines due to a piece of roast joint string). He was beyond help by the time the vets had found out and his passing was not the best for either of us. The only dog I have cried over as he died (usually afterwards, never during as that's unfair to the dog who doesn't understand the upset).
My beloved Bert was diagnosed at a specialist on the Friday night with secondary tumours and we took him to the vets as soon as they opened on the Saturday morning. The hard bastard must have been masking some pain/discomfort as it was a matter of days that he’d gone downhill.
id always pictured the final most kindest thing i could do for him would have been at home surrounded by his favourite toys and teddys but the time scales of getting a vet to the house at short notice weren't possible hence doing it in the back of the Berlingo at the vets.
To the OP you have a little time on your side - give him all the sausage rolls / cheese / ham / cheeseburgers / doggo junkfood he wants and book a home visit. The physical act of the dog leaving is nice and peaceful. Afterwards for me was hard.
It's horrible. It never gets easier. However you can take solace in knowing they had a good life and you did your best for them. As others have said I think it's perhaps better to act a bit early so as to minimise any suffering.
I'll say this for our vets they step up when it matters. My daughter's cat had to be put to sleep during Covid. All vet visits had been phone on arrival, drop pet between outer and inner doors, wait in car.
For her cat the rulebook was tossed out and her cat drifted off being cuddled on her lap in a room inside.
He's gone down hill last night..spent the night curled up on the floor with him, and will do same again tonight. I think tomorrow will be the day.
He's currently looks so content and peaceful We're trying to fit the next year of cuddles into the next 24 hrs, he's had a big bowl of food and sprats, and he doesn't appear to be in any pain.
I however am completely broken.
😞
Wish you all the best.
He's gone down hill last night..spent the night curled up on the floor with him, and will do same again tonight. I think tomorrow will be the day.
He's currently looks so content and peaceful We're trying to fit the next year of cuddles into the next 24 hrs, he's had a big bowl of food and sprats, and he doesn't appear to be in any pain.
I however am completely broken.
Words of comfort seem insignificant.
Big hugs dude.
Dammit dude.Not much I can add other than another big hug from me and to ask that you pass one on to Bear for me.
Damn, this is such a sad thread 🙁
Virtual hugs for you both. Cling on to all of the good times.
As a rule I'm fairly hard-hearted about these things but it doesn't sound like he's suffering at all so I'd say it isn't especially urgent. Once he's obviously miserable get it done (and even "a day late" is a lot better than many humans manage, so don't be too hard on yourself about that)
I've been through this twice in the last few years with cats. The last one was a year, yesterday. Playing god and choosing the time is a horrible decision and one that you will try not to make sometimes seeing things that aren't there to postpone the decision.
When it happens, the vet will take him away for a short time to deliver a sedative. When he comes back he won't recognise you. Say all your goodbyes before this when he's still himself.
When the final injection was administered in our cat, it was genuinely like a falling asleep. I can only wish for a final moment like that.
Get the vet to give a fur clipping. They should also be able to give you a paw print.
Cry.
I literally can't read this thread.
But it's better you get a few years of absolute fun, connection and loyalty, even for the end.
This thread is too tough to read through.....feel for you TP.
I think you'll know when the right time is, we had to let our schnauzer go when i was travelling and i was there on zoom. Mrs Epic and EpicJnr were with him at home. He had been walking slowly the previous day, but was just standing looking at the view on his last day and Mrs Epic knew he'd decided
But definitely get someone to come to you. In Sussex there is a vet who does nothing other than home visits. It was so much kinder i think.
Because they do it all the time they are not busy with regular vet work so have more ability to attend when the time calls.
Best wishes and give Bear a hug.
But it's better you get a few years of absolute fun, connection and loyalty, even for the end.
The end is the cost for the fun, cuddles, loyalty and walks in all weathers. A bargain to me under any circumstances.
Man hug for you OP and ear scritches and a hug for Bear.
So unfortunately we had to put Bear to rest on Friday. Over the previous week his rear legs just completely gave in. Not sure why it happened so suddenly (although he'd been slowing down for a while and already had a gammy front leg), but by Friday he couldnt stand unassisted, which meant he couldnt pee or poo properly either
Watching him physically deteriorate was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, especially since he still had a spark about him, seemed content and happy. Spend the last 4 nights curled up next to him on the floor, showered him with his favourite treats, and was with him at the end holding his big paw as he passed away on the couch.
I feel guilty as he was still a happy dog, but I couldnt see how that would last if he couldn't pee or poo properly, even when we tried to support him standing. Still not sure I did the right thing.
He was a fantastic hound, a big goofy oaf with the gentlest soul, my best friend and he will be so badly missed. I'm absolutely heartbroken by it all.
So sorry to hear this.
By the sounds it it was definitely the right time, the sweet spot between starting to struggle and starting to suffer! The doubt and the guilt are normal, ask yourself what you would want Bear to do if the roles were reversed!
As Sandwich said it is the price we pay for the joy they give us. In my view more than worth it but grief sucks!
So sorry.
Still not sure I did the right thing.
You did. You absolutely did.
Still not sure I did the right thing.
Of course you did.... It just doesn't feel like it right now.
Sorry to hear about bear but it sounds like he had a great life.
Sorry for your loss. Sounds like you did everything right by your buddy. Never ever easy, always right.
It's a very sad day but you really did do the best thing for him.
When our pup died, my hippy friend said something that made it a little less painful....she said "he's gone, but he is part of us all now".
He's in my memory, and for a long time I use to see him in the corner of my eye, watching us walk through the woods.
Now when I think of him, it is of the great times we had and all the scrapes we got into together.
I hope you reach that point before long
Sorry to read this @tpbiker. My best mate hit 8 years old yesterday and losing him is a thought that crosses my mind now and then. He's been picked up, put on my lap and given some huge hugs whilst I've been reading/writing this.
One things for sure, I'll never ever be without a dog for the rest of my life. My biggest regret was that I waited until I was in my late 30s before getting this daft ball of fluff.
My biggest regret was that I waited until I was in my late 30s before getting this daft ball of fluff.
Yep.
Nothing i have done for the smelly mutt next door comes close to what she has done for me.
They're here for a good time, not a long time.
Sounds like he had a very good time with you.
I didn't even know Bear but I'll miss him and I'll give Trickster a bit of (unwanted) affection later to remind her how much I love her, despite me telling her many many times every day.
Went through the same thing a few months ago and you have my sympathy. It was pretty clear at the end that Charlie was ready to go but I still have a horrible thought in the back of my head that if I'd of just given her another day or two she might of turned it around , I think most people who love their dog and go through that will feel that guilt that they went to early but I think if you feel that it shows how much you cared and that you made the decision that was best for Bear .
Sorry for your loss, you absolutely did the right thing. Cherish the times you had together, the pain will subside.
My Bert and Bear are now in doggo heaven sniffing each others bums and jumping up doing that ‘front leg kangaroo boxing match’ type thing they do when they meet their best buddies in the park before chasing each other with full speed zoomies.
We enabled that because as good doggo people we did the right thing at the right time. Look after yourself now.
Sorry to hear your loss. Dont beat yourself up about making the right decision.
Still miss Fin every day. Can't say it's got any easier.
Sorry to hear of your loss man. Pretty much the worse time of year to lose your best mate
Still not sure I did the right thing
From what I have read you absolutely did the right thing and you did it at the right time. It's hard not to have the nagging guilt over the 'what if' but please try to put that to one side for now.
Really sorry for you. So sad.