[Closed] My daughter just said I should listen to this...

How old is she?

My daughter or the singer?

My daughter is 14, nearly...

<deleted, not really helpful or funny, sorry>

Northwind, I didn't see your post prior to you changing it, but I really hope it wasn't derogatory toward my daughter, I would take that personally, & I really wouldn't care who you thought you were/are.

If anyone else thinks it would be funny to have a pop, then please think again.

Cheers.

Sorry, your daughter.
If she is a normally chatty type who you get on well with chances are it's nothing, but check with her anyway. A quick are you ok is probably enough.
If she's a bit more introverted and tends not to tell you anything then she may be trying to tell you that things are a bit poo at the moment.
Remember that 14 can be a difficult age with everything being the end of the world. If she does want to confide something then do not under any circumstances tell her what to do. Girls want someone who listens to them, boys want answers. (trust me I'm female and it's taken 15 years for my hubby to realsie that answers are not always wanted!)
Chances are it is nothing and she just wants to share something with her old man, in this instance it's some emo music.
Good luck.

No, don't worry, it wasn't anything like that! I read your post again straight after posting and realised mine didn't really work, so I just figured I'd bin it. Obviously that didn't work. I don't think you'd have been offended, you might have thought "This guy's not very funny" though. So relax. I guess this is something that worries you given the reaction, I've no reason to "have a pop"- but I'd say that unless there's a specific worry, it's probably just a song.

Talk to her? Just a thought.

Seriously though I would prefer my daughter to ask me to listen to this than the One Direction and other hideous pop nonsense she presents to me. She is only 12 though so there is still time.

I read the lyrics, didn't listen

they don't say that much really - are you worried or just wondering ?
My guess would be that you'd only be worried if there were other signs of whatever it is that worries you

Either way, why not ask her ?
(tell her you listened, what you made of it & then ask what it means for her. If she just wanted to share the music, then it's worked and if she wants something more, then she has an opportunity)

I remember being 14 purely because the years of 14/15/16 I was mildy depressed to depressed to getting away from depression. That song is the sort of the I'd listen to to let the tears out. Didn't ever talk to anyone about it so the fact that she asked you to listen to it maybe her asking you for some emotional help. Just be sensitive to the fact that she is probably the most confusing time in her life and not sure how to deal with it. People don't think that teenagers get depressed, they just assume that they are weird or withdrawn or seeking attention. It does exist and if she's heading down that road she just needs to know that you will try to understand and help her when she's ready. Won't be anything you have done or caused, sometimes it just happens. Teenage angst can also be a horrible thing! Not just something to laugh off.
Failing that she may just be showing you so that you declare it's a pile of crap and she can declare you are 'so out of touch dad, don't be so gay' kinda thing. x

Sorry, that might come across a bit heavy but like the others have said just talk to her. It may just be that she's trying to educate her old dad towards some decent music 🙂

I don't even know what it is and already I know it's gonna be bollox.

Could be any number of things from boyfriend angst, to school worries, to just wanting some advice from her Dad.

I'd have a relaxed chat with her and see if she needs or wants to talk something over - can't do any harm, can it!

Many thanks for the input/thoughts. My daughter (eldest) is pretty well balanced, my youngest is a little more worrying, I guess she is just telling me she has an opinion, but you never know!

Kip, thanks

Northwind, sorry but as I didn't see the post I can only assume the worst.

Cheers all.

I don't want to leave any thanks out, so thanks to all of you, maybe Emma more for the long post 😉

Edit, darn, forgot to thank Kip, my bad, forgive me.

2unfit2ride, I don't think you had to assume the worst, but I understand why you did, no reason to apologise

My guess? Listen...

You're loosing her mate - it's the bit when we all say WTF!

My eldest sent a pic (16) of her with auburn hair asking what I thought (she's blonde) I said 'great!' and then asked to speak to her mother who described a disastrous bottle of bleach turning her head YELLOW and a mercy dash to a hair dressers to make it all right..........

Welcome to the anarchic world of .......women..........

Indeed, rather stay out of it, but hey ho, she calls me dad 😉

She maybe wants you to know she really loves ya, but being 14 (nearly) its pretty difficult to say things like this to your old man.
I'm an "old man" to a 14 yo...... I feel your pain! Usually if teens need emotional help, the last person they'll talk to is mum or dad.
I'd approach her, gently.

Sorry, didn't mean to be so long!!! It's late and I'm over thinking things.

Tankslapper-I dyed my hair with purple streaks once except I didnt read the packet properly and went proper purple, was awful and my mum went mad. Luckily it was a wash out-must have washed my hair at least six times that day and wasn't too bad by the end of it. Oh-ur girl didn't really use bleach did she? Seen that kinda mistake on utube. Ouch is all I can say

Just throw a 2 live crew cd and say 'listen, this is the shit I listen to, now sort your head out and wear some proper bloody clothes..'

Introduce her to ABBA ...

I'd be 100 times more worried if she liked N-Dubz

Tell her you love her - maybe she feels you don't say it enough?

Great voice and a lovely song - but there is a message there.

Two things I get from this...

1) Ignore the video. That's someone's interpretation of the lyrics and they've just whacked a load of potentially misleading photos in there that suggest neediness, dissatisfaction or upset.

2) listen to the lyrics. I picked up on a few keys lines 'you're my best friend', and others along those in the same vein.

P'raps she's just saying she loves you. Aw.

Talk to her. I remember when I was that age I really needed my folks to talk to me, to support me through my worries, to assure me everything was going to be fine. They didn't. I grew very long hair - nothing. I started wearing black only - nothing. I played "South of Heaven" or "Shark Attack" which must've made them notice - nothing. I started drinking and had an earing - nothing. I messed up at school - nothing. I became a veggie - nothing.
It took my leaving home and going to London and not talking to them for almost a year to make them notice something was probably wrong. But it was just too late, I no longer really care what they think. I care about them but don't give a toss if they care about me.
2unfit2ride, talk to her. Ask her to help you with something, ask her for her opinion, make sure she knows you love her. I'm not a girl, never was one, but maybe you could even tell her you love her and you're there for her 24/7?
(I'll be asking the same questions in 10 years time I suppose, she's only 4 now.)

Dunno mate, but it sounds to me like she needs a hug from you!

Yep. Just needs a big hug from her daddy and hear from you how important she is to you.

Two hugs suggested in a row, surely that means a group hug is in order? Group hug anyone? 😀

Thanks for the advice everyone, had a chat & a hug, & although she says all is fine at the moment she knows I'm here if she needs me 🙂

Cheers.

[img] /happy-smiley-541.gif[/img]

I don't get a chance to check the forum every day but do like to check on those I posted on. 2unfit2ride - glad it's all ok, +1 for Woody.

Glad your daughter is OK. It might sound daft, but from a geeky sound engineering point of view I really like the production on that song. The vocal reverb is beautiful, and the panning is excellent. Off to find out more - say thanks to your daughter for the tip off! 🙂

Sweet little song, I'd go with what a number have said, it's her way of saying that she's a teen, she can be a grumpy minx sometimes but it's nothing personal, she loves you but it's difficult to put into words sometimes. That's what good music is all about, there are talented people out there who can express things for us that we're unable to express ourselves. Your lass has found a lovely way to get her feelings across, and if she were mine I'd be chuffed to bits.