[Closed] MTBing with the Missus?

I'm with JT. My Mrs is not unfit and runs a fair bit too. But on a solo bike she's just sooo slow. So we got one of these! Now do local 10m TT's and sportives.
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My missus rides bikes... she is teh awesums.

I still have more bikes than her though... can't let that statistic slide!

Does she genuinely want to ride or is you that wants her to?

I would suggest that she rides with other girlies to take the pressure off!

That was my reply to your original post ^^

Am probably one of the few, possibly only, girlie on here that wasn't 'persuaded' to ride. It was only my kids riding bikes that got me interested! Ex never wanted to so I just found myself pootling around the countryside on my own. 8)

I still feel my advice was good. 🙂

What Clover said I think...

Be honest, is your missus doing the riding for her benefit or yours? From what you're saying she's not enjoyed it so far. If she does no other exercise then she's probably going to want to start somewhere on her own terms first.

I would be the first to admit that mrsPJM1974 has in the past cycled under duress, but a nasty injury a few years back has put her confidence back a long way so I just let the issue drop off the agenda for a while. She's got an amazing bike - which has seen several "stealth" upgrades based on the feedback she's given me, but even with the most shapely brake levers possible, she'd still rather be sat scoffing a slice of Battenberg whilst reading Jack Reacher than honking up a rocky slope. And I cannot blame her for that.

Recently, she's been giving spinning classes a go and her progress has been remarkable. She turned to me this morning and said "You know, I'm thinking of taking my bike out later".

I don't care if she's the fastest woman on two wheels, or if she cycles to the local pub for a medicinal cider on the way, just so long as she's getting something out of it. I've just made it a little easier by consigning her Apollo Nasty to the skip and building her a Marin full suss up instead.

CB, I wasn't persuaded. Oh no, I am goat-like and obstinate so he knew better than to try anything that direct. I'd say 'groomed'. He's scarily subtle, never met anyone like him but I am sure others could learn. 😀

He just kind of left bikes lying around that I could use when I wanted.

Hey I do that and all I ever get is 'When are you going to move those bloody bikes?'. Still, at least she's just about accepted having them in the house. For a good while it was seriously suggested that they go in a cold damp cellar or even worse, in a garden shed.

It's an interesting one. I like cycling which predated me getting together with my OH. I still like cycling (and I've bought three bikes to his one in the last year...). But I prefer doing it on my own rather than with him.

On my own I can go along at my own pace and not be worried if I have to get off and walk sections. When I'm with him I get frustrated about how much easier he makes everything look, how much faster he goes on road, how much stronger he is on hills, how much better he is on technical stuff. The feeling that I'm holding him back or being pathetic then spoils my own enjoyment a bit.

I guess we get different things out of it. He likes pushing himself, whether that's technical off road stuff or beasting himself on the road. I like getting outside, seeing the scenery, stopping for refreshments but not worrying too much about speed or distance. My current plan is to get him jealous of my new cross bike and persuade him to get one to do less technical off road stuff where there's less of a need for speed, but nothing that will freak me out.

May I make a suggestion? Leave the bike where it's easy for her to get to, ensure tyres are pumped and chain is lubed. You never know, she may take it for a spin when you're not around!

Good luck. 🙂

PS What did you get in the end?

Clover - ah but it sounds as though you were hooked on two (larger) wheels anyway! 🙂

Am probably one of the few, possibly only, girlie on here that wasn't 'persuaded' to ride.

Clover - you do have the best boyfriend on here though for leaving bikes around 😉

I also found mtbing myself at 13 excuse to get away from parents and get dirty met Mr MC 12 years later at an SiTS, can't imagine dating a bloke who doesn't ride! Can't really give you advice ride more with your mates until she realised only way to spend time together is on the bike 😉

My dad got me into bikes. My Chameleon was a b-day pressie.

Shame it's got skinny wheels on it, as we tend to do more road miles these days.

Have you tried telling her that she's ruining your favourite pastime?

This sounds like my ex!
I started going to trail centres with him as i was new to biking and he would stand ahead, grumbling and moaning that i was holding him up.

We tried a few Ride it events but again he would moan that i was slowing him down!

Now we are no longer together, i can go on my own and ride how i like without being moaned at. 😀

Maybe your girlfriend would be best suited to cycling on her own at her pace, or maybe she just doesnt really enjoy it at all.

Tandem

Bunnyhop - you're definitely unique too. 😀

Aye, we're a rare species, got to stick together.

Sounds like most of the ladies here are fairly active already, and so doing a sport that's a bit different is really and issue to you.

I might try and leave the bike then so it's more easy to use. Although the only time she'll use a bike on her own is to ride into town to do shopping on her shopping bike.

My wife was an avowed road cyclist and rower. Nothing flash but she got an MtB and never really got "it". Then he I'd a skills course for women and now she has 3 funkin mountain bikes ! Road bike is dusty.

All the advice preceding mostly sounds like what you'd do for an overly sensitive child with confidence issues. Can't she just WTFU?
No offence but she sounds a bit stroppy and prone to tantrums...Think I'd rather ride on my own...
😕

I was in the same situation last year and handled it very badly. My girlfriend suggested buying a mountain bike so that she could come along with me when I was out, which I thought was a great idea (hindsight is fricking great).

Anyways, she was slower than a week in the jail and refused to leave any of the official cycle routes in the new forest, which turned my 30km exploratory ramblings over the new forest into typical boring touristy fire track misery. To get her to improve I pushed her into doing little cut through s and bumps and dips. This broke her confidence and now we are back at square one, with no sign of that changing in the near future.

Moral of the story? Tread carefully. On the plus side, she doesn't complain when I go away for a day or 2 now!

No offence but she sounds a bit stroppy and prone to tantrums...Think I'd rather ride on my own...

Can you come here and tell her that! 😉

Can you come here and tell her that!

Wouldn't dare! 😆

From your cornwall story it sounds like the problem is

You want to go cycling and your OH doesnt want to go cycling, nothing more nothing less !

The only thing I can add is try going in a mixed sex group. My wife can make a right hoohaa at times when its just us, but if see shes another girl do something she gets a bit competitive. 🙂

I have a similar problem so, on the rare occasions that my girlfriend comes riding with me, I would take my ss jump bike or maybe the wheelie bike. Even on the wheelie bike (22/18), I have to wait around. Always a good laugh though. She's not confident with roads at all, but we are right on the Mersey Valley so even though it's flat, there's plenty of traffic-free riding. Don't think she would come out at all if she had to use a road to get to the canal....

which turned my 30km exploratory ramblings over the new forest into typical boring touristy fire track misery

See, Mrs Grips isn't fast and at first only went on fire roads. I wasn't miserable, I was happy to be out with my darling wife. I made sure I had lots of other riding still though.

Things might get better [s]when the summer starts[/s] when this drought ends and the weather gets better!

It sounds like she just doesn't really like mountain biking and is doing it just for you. No amount of SPDs, trail centres, new bikes etc are likely to fix that imo.

I'd just be grateful that she seemingly was prepared to give it a try purely based on the fact that you like it and she knew it'd make you happy.

I have very slowly managed to get my significantly better half onto a MTB and then a better MTB and then some proper cycling clothes. The real break through was getting her to wear a camel back to stop hydration issues.

However she is slower than me (and I am not the fastest) and worries more about falling off (not helped with her recent broken arm from skiing). At first this made me frustrated, especially as she pedals and then free wheels and repeat and repeat rather than just spinning. But in time I have just learnt to accept it and enjoy spending time with her.

But the big benefit is that she is accepting of my 'habit' and has even joined in so that she has a road bike and full sus in the garage - to which I am allowed to fix when she breaks either of them. If I am really lucky I can get to clean them as well.

Yes, you don't get someone hooked on your intoxicant of choice by dealing them the skag end of the worst batch you've had in ages... 8)

Roll on the nicer weather. Please. Then, I'm sure if you leave a nice bike accessible and ready to go, it'll get used. Softly, softly....

What an interesting thread. I'm very lucky to have a wife who likes to be out on a bike. That said we like it for different reasons. She is confident on red level runs and has biked for about 12 years but I think her motivation is more about the fresh air/social time as opposed to the adrenaline and more pushy aspects of riding. I think it's important that people find their own motivator and that they are able to take part for their own reasons.

I always try to avoid giving unsolicited advice, as it's rarely welcome. I don't like getting it either. She does fine and if she wants to know shell ask me...if she doesn't I try to keep quiet. On the trail I'll normally ride head and wait for her every now and then and she's fine with this. I normally make a point of staying at the back for at least part of any ride.

She's now expecting and is still encouraging me to get out and ride, even though she isn't able to herself. I think once you appreciate what each of you get from biking, if anything, it's easier to accept the differences.

Right firstly sorry as I haven't read all the posts.
Its great that she wants do come out biking however You need to look at it as spending time with her, not biking. Forget about all things biking and pootle along taking the time to talk, make plans, be creative you know the stuff we should all do more off.
I used to get frustrated when out hill walking, climbing, canoeing, snowboarding, biking and running cos she appeared to be taking it easy and sitting in her comfort zone. Over time I have realized not to push it and coach her on request then leave her to develop in her own time. To her credit she has tried all the sports that I do and she has decided what is for her. The result is she is a great snowboarder technically ace but goes at her own pace and in control. She loves hill walking and general exploring, enjoys canoeing on flat water and gentle rivers, likes biking but more for just getting out for a journey. She has found her own thing and that is Triathlon and has since got me into it.
We have great fun doing stuff together and appreciate rare breaks from the kids.
It doesn't matter about the pace or effort just enjoy the fact you can spend time together and get along, life is too short to be in conflict.
The one thing that gets her down sometimes is she often thinks she is unfit or crap at stuff cos she compares herself to me. You just have to keep giving praise and encouragement, tell her she is doing great and you loved riding with her 😆 sorry! Keep your frustration at bay and keep time for your own biking.
Long post sorry 😕

I'd say talk to her about it. Find out if she actually does enjoy it or not - if she says she doesn't really like it, then you have your answer and you can keep your MTB-ing to yourself. If she wants to keep trying, then I couldn't recommend a womens' skills course enough. It won't make her faster necessarily but it will up her confidence and she might not feel so bad about not keeping up on the road.

I introduced my other half to MTB-ing, didn't half annoy me that he is much faster than me! But it's not a competition at the end of the day, I let him get on with it if he wants to steam off up all the hills and run out of energy for the good bits I let him 😀

Perhaps she might be suited to another type of cycling such as touring/leisure biking? Hybrids are faster on the roads and you can go on towpaths/fireroad type surfaces as well. It's a bit of a dull slog when you have to do a lot of road riding on a MTB.