[Closed] Mixed Metaphors

He’s a wolf in cheap clothing.

My business partner (in a business called Mixd ironically) is a master of them. 'it's a loss earner' 'pay through the earth' 'sitting on a landmine' are all his inventions ( albeit accidentally). 🙂

Mrs ddmonkey has offered her friend's "don't count your lucky chickens"

Like a red rag at a gate.

Brilliant - keep em coming... 😆

It's mudshark's baby - let him run with it

Like a rabbit out of water

As deaf as a bat

A friend in time saves nine

We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

I only have two pairs of hands

Can you mix the same metaphor up twice in the same mixed metaphor?

My aunt can:

It's six of two threes and half a dozen of another.

"Its no good shooting the horse after the gates been bolted"

my mate Young Michael the day after a long night on the ale, "there's only one cure...hair or the rabbit" 😆

The definitive list

http://www.mitchbenn.com/images/mp3.php?t=The+Devil+And+A+Hard+Place&id=10

You must listen.

Mutton dressed as lizard

Does the Pope crap in the woods?

you can't make an omelette without bacon and eggs

Heard in a meeting once

'If we pull this off we'll be in Nevada'

he meant Nivana... we posl

Yes Minister was always good for these.
The only one I can remember at the moment is "This is a political hot potato. If we don't do something, we're going to end up with egg on our faces"

Its not rocket surgery..

Rather un-PC as it uses an unacceptably outmoded word for a fellow of African origins, but I heard this from an old farmer at a livestock auction.

"Well, that's a bit of a n*****r in the ointment"

I've been using "fly in the woodpile" ever since.

My fave was on radio four one of blairs babes being interviewed by Humphries:

"Its a recipe waiting to happen"

Now every time I chop some veg and have the meat, butter, oil herbs and spices all lined up I announce the same...

Mutton dressed as lizard

LOL @ mutton dressed as lizard!!! ffs

Does the Pope crap in the woods?

only when he's at a festival

Courtesy of Scott Adams/Dilbert:

Sometimes you shoot your foot off to spite your face.
If it can't be done today, don't wait until tomorrow.
I'm sweating like a bullet.
Monday morning the fan is going to hit the roof.
We're having this meeting to make sure all our ducks are on the same page.
Yeah, I've got a lot of black sheep in my closet.
You don't want to put all your legs under one blanket.
Call me back at your least convenience.
It's six of one and one of the other.
I can't do it in the spur of a hat.
I don’t want to run any flags up the telephone pole.
You know I’m just pulling your lamb?
I've been running around like a chicken with my legs cut off.
This has been a red herring around our necks.
Like water through a duck's ass.
We're treading on thin water here.
Knock it off before I beat you with a dead horse!!!
I don't want to go out on a limb and shoot myself in the foot.
"I've just got my feet in too many pies right now."
Gee, we haven't been here since the last time.
'I see,' said the blind man to the fly.
You can argue until your eyeteeth turn blue in the face.
I swear on my dog's breakfast!
This library attracts deaf patrons like a siren's song!
Don't bite the mouth that feeds you.
I keep telling you these things, but you keep turning a blind cheek to it.
Screaming like a chicken with its head cut off.
I hope I haven't used a sledgehammer to teach my grandmother to suck eggs.
She was born with a silver spoon up her ass.
This guy's sharp as a cookie.
I beat it like a red-headed mule!!
Now, I do not want to toot my own wagon.
I think you hit the nose right on the head.

My old boss:

"Putting all our eggs in one boat"
"Too much salt under the bridge"
"Making a pig for our own back"

My personal favourite:

"A whistling women gathers no moss"

My old boss ' Water under a ducks back'

Oh dear I have been cying with laughter at this this morning thanks all 😆

Does the pope crap in the woods... 😆

Just remember, a stich in time is a friend indeed...

Mrs North's a prime exponent of these, her favourite being "between the devil and a hard place", which seems innocent enough, but always gets someone s****ing....

the world is your lobster....

you can't make an omelette without cooking a few eggs....

My cousin used to work with a guy who ALWAYS got these wrong... He's compiling a list at the moment, soon as I get it, I'll post it.

But this lad always said "Now we're cooking gas!" Rather than cooking ON it... I use his version at every possible opportunity. 😀

"the world is your lobster" are you sure? I thought the world was my hamster?

goes like shit off a blanket

No way Pedro.

Not the sharpest bulb in the picnic.

you cant polish a turd...but you can roll it in glitter 😯

Classic R4 one from a few years ago:

The roadmap will be de-railed before it can get off the ground.

My wife said tonight... 'Kill a thousand stones with one fish' ... 🙂