Yesterday morning, whilst enjoying a modest lie-in, Mrs. S was telling me about an offer on the price of a well known Irish cream liqueur. I was only half listening, being distracted by an on-line word puzzle. I can normally get away with this half-listening thing but in this instance, I kind of ruined it when I asked "Who's Lee Trebayliss?" Oooof. Foiled!
Any amusing tales to tell in this vein?
The devil is in the tea towels.
Possibly more misunderstanding than mishearing but a 5 or 6 year old girl was explaining to her mother what she had learnt about Ancestors in school.
"When grandma dies she becomes an an-sister and when mummy is very old and dies she will be an an-sister too."
"What about grandad?"
"He is a boy and can't be a sister. I think he becomes a dinosaur"
I'm working on a project currently which involves some data warehousing. I've purposefully referred to this as a data suppository rather than repository a few times, and as no-one has giggled or asked me to clarify yet, I assume they think they just misheard me.
I like that tthew!
involves some data warehousing
One I used to like:
"One of the major challenges with data warehousing is the back loading of hysterical data".
I’ve purposefully referred to this as a data suppository rather than repository a few times
Back when I worked in support at Time we did this competitively.
"... Click on 'command prompt', type in 'chkdsk /f' and then placenta."
Ahhh IT humour...
Https - how do you spell that?
Just don't trim her bush with her best dress making shears.
Not funny, but an example of mishearing - I was riding on the purpose built, signposted MTB track up my local park when I came to an entrance to the woods, with 2 wimmin and a dog stood in the way. I slowed sufficiently to avoid the little white westie thing and slalom through the 2 women, politely (I was happy) saying "Cheers" as I went by... I think I hear one of the women go "no need to be rude" Now, I didn't have to slow down! I didn't have to say cheers! So I stopped and said "You wot? I wasn't rude!" to which one of them said "she didn't say "rude" she said "There's enough room".
So I just went oh ok! Cheers and rode off. Bit later I was thinking, what a stroppy cow, there was actually no need to say that as there wasn't actually plenty of room. Some people are just Rude!
Just remembered, did say "mountain bike track! Cheers" rather than cheers, just to warn there might be nutters who don't slow down for westies. Also not rude. 😀
I work in a hospital - one of my colleagues was wondering what sort of a drug aloveratolatrole was the other day bacause a patient was allergic to it
In the 80s, the transformer advert ‘transformers, robots in disguise’
Was misheard by yours truly as “transformers, robots in the skies”
As i was in my 20s, I didn’t actually pay attention to kids toy adverts, so it was years before I found out what they were actually saying. I just assumed they could all fly.
Like Steve Winwoods request for an iron lung.
Martymac: wtf i thought it was skies too!!!!
We had a Deputy Head Teacher Mr Heddle, that we used to intentionally call Miss Treddle to see if he'd notice. I don't think he ever did ... he was getting old and tended to just talk about Aberdeen Football Club and his imminent retirement.
And a supply teacher Mrs Lingard, we called her Mrs Shinguard. She did notice.
In the 80s, the transformer advert ‘transformers, robots in disguise’
Was misheard by yours truly as “transformers, robots in the skies”
Me too.
On teachers,
We had Mr Haydock for French. A year or two later we got Mrs Haydock - his wife - for English. Her opening lesson was a lecture on how her name was Haydock not Haddock, and whilst her husband didn't mind being called Fish-Face, she did.
Thing was, up until that point it had never occurred to any of us. I wonder now years later with the benefit of hindsight whether that whole speech was just intended to plant a seed in our minds in order to wind him up.
I wonder now years later with the benefit of hindsight whether that whole speech was just intended to plant a seed in our minds in order to wind him up.
LOL
A few more years ago than I care to recall, I went out on the piss with some friends and we started to regroup outside the pub at kicking out time. Some woman asked me if I had a light, but as I don’t smoke I said that I didn’t. She replied “didn’t think so” which seemed a bit rude so I replied “ Why’d you ask? ”. At which point she went mental at me and I couldn’t work out quite why. Then the penny dropped - she wasn’t a slim lass and I reckon all she heard was “Wide Arse”. 😃
I was doing some sightseeing in Japan and planning a couple of days in Kyushu. A Japanese friend with a bit of an accent asked, "What do you think about Mount Aso?" I misheard that as, "What do you think about man's arseholes?". A couple of minutes of horrified confusion ensued until we got to the bottom of the misunderstanding.
Blatant TOTW attempt 😛
Capital Radio 95.8FM (of course) used to do a 'sing the next line' competition.
Someone rang in to have a go with the song Mr Loverman by Shabba Ranks.
The line is (quite obviously, I thought) "Mr Loverman (short pause) Shabba"
They played the song, got to "Mr Loverman........" and pause it, then this person (can't remember if it was a woman or a man) shouts out, "Trevor"
Cue the DJ bursting into fits of laughter & taking ages to recover. This person legitimately thought that Shabba Ranks for some reason would be singing "Mr Loverman. Trevor" in his song.
I still think of it whenever someone called Trevor is mentioned, which is a bit annoying as one of the blokes in my office is called Trevor.
Then there's always Ken Lee.....
He's got his trampolines is what I thought she was saying...
Then there’s always Ken Lee…..
Quality!
Not mishearing, but misspelling. I was reading a report about neighbourhood street cleanliness (it's a living), where the author, talking about people crapping in bushes, talked about levels of deification. I hadn't realised that squatting for a public number two was a way of communing with a higher authority...
I thought for a long time that the title line " I predict a riot" in the Kaiser Chiefs' song, was actually "angry Tourette's" (say 'an-gur-ee tourette's' in your head). Seemed to fit with the general gist of the song, so I never thought to question it until I saw the title written down!
Listen to it with this in mind - you'll not be able to un-hear it!
Some of these made a lot of sense....
Mum love that Enya song, you know the one "Save the whales, save the whales, save the whales...."
the colleague who continues to refer to situations as "a bit smoke and dagger", ive learned to live with, but unsure if its deliberately hilarious or other.
the guy who manages to say "to all intention purposes" at least every conversation however... no christmas card and no pudding
From a colleague this morning. English is not his first language but he tries to use colloquialisms =with mixed success.
He described a particularly persistent client as "Like a dog with a boner"
I've just had a 'you what!' moment watching breakfast TV (it's on in the background, wife's watching)
Dominic Littlewood is previewing the best of Christmas TV, and has just said that 'topless midwives will be spreading cheer on Christmas Eve'
As I was only half hearing I had to rewind back........ Call the Midwife, set in Poplar.
It's a standing joke in our house to say "shower the horse" when we've finished something, as in the Anne-Marie lyrics "shower the horse I'm done" (from the track 'Ciao Adios').
He described a particularly persistent client as “Like a dog with a boner”
I guess that depends what line of business you are in.