I'm all for respect for servers, but it has to go both ways. The crappy bit goes last. Twas ever thus.
Ah yeah, the original Hub cakes and slices were very good bitd. All the other recommendations are noted for when I am out and about around the country. Thanks!
I occasionally eat ordinary shortbread just to keep in touch with the peasants.
More worryingly, Bromyard?! there's nothing to see here (literally!) move along please!
Did you pop in to Legges on your way through? My usual Lunch purveyor for work, i've not had anything i could describe as mediocre from there, ever.
Which cafe in Bromyard were you in? Flowerdews used to be my go-to when cycling through there but now sadly shut after one of the owners passed away. Once had a view of a Morris Dancing display - probably 4 years ago.
Used to be able to get a custard slice in most cafes but they seem quite hard to find these days. And even most bakers seem to prefer its pretentious cousin the Mille Feuille.
Both of which are far superior to the millionaires shortbread however.
That reminds me @Yak, The Fat Batard, Peebles
Balls a knew my statement would fall apart in short order.
However, as the fat batard is my local bakery... If you went in here and chose a millionaires shortbread.... You need to get your had sorted.
More worryingly, Bromyard?! there’s nothing to see here (literally!) move along please!
I had a nice meandering motorbike ride in the Sunshine, through South Shropshire, North Herefordshire and Worcestershire. Retirement sucks! Bromyard was a pitstop. I don't know the name of the cafe, it's on the high Street and quite good. Bromyard itself seems a pleasant enough little town, but like lots of other places (including Ludlow where I live) it's become noticeably more tatty in the last few years.
However, as the fat batard is my local bakery… If you went in here and chose a millionaires shortbread…. You need to get your had sorted.
The mistake that you're making is presuming that I chose a millionaire's shortbread and nothing else.
Their millionaire's shortbread is as good as everything else there, ie excellent. In fact it's one of the things I like about millionaire's shortbread, to get it right you really need to be on the details, so if it's good, you can be pretty sure everything else will be too.
Retirement sucks, ha, so I'm led to believe! That sounds like a splendid way to spend the day.
I work here but live just outside, toward Tenbury.
I'm doing it a disservice, it's a pleasant enough place really, just not what it was. Possibly the cafe was Brew? Small narrow little place, down a step.
Small narrow little place, down a step.
That's the one! It is really nice all round here. I love the little twisty B roads from Bromyard to Tenbury, then from Tenbury to Leominster. My wife had a stall at the Tenbury show the weekend before last. We are not natives, we moved to Ludlow about 8 years ago, but the countryside is fantastic in every direction.
BlackflagFree Member
Used to be able to get a custard slice in most cafes but they seem quite hard to find these days
If you're ever in Marple - Archers family owned bakery makes really good custard slices, it's a shop though not a cafe.
Ah yes the bunnyhop householders are seduced by the very sight of a Millionaire's shortbread. As others have said, the shortbread has to be buttery, quite thick and not a brittle biscuit, the caramel needs to be rich and sweet, but not so sweet in that it gives one sugar sweats and finally the chocolate needs to be of good quality and has a 'snap', baking chocolate should be banned. This weekend I'm going to endeavour to make a tray (apparently it's not easy to get the caramel to the right consistency and assemble everything).
Ah yes, Tenbury Show, flippin hot as I remember, the lamb burger and cider were spot on though!
Their millionaire’s shortbread is as good as everything else there, ie excellent. In fact it’s one of the things I like about millionaire’s shortbread, to get it right you really need to be on the details, so if it’s good, you can be pretty sure everything else will be too.
I will by even the best millionaire shortbread is as dull as it comes.
However i will test my hypothesis by trying a fat batard* one.
*Not as a substitution mind, no danger i am giving up the actual good stuff.
What sweet treat do actual millionaires eat?
@willard The fact that Riverside Tea Rooms made the cut on that map tells me to approach any recommendations with care. Possibly the worst cake I've ever had due to margarine in the sponge. Also omitting Pump Street Bakery, Snape Maltings and Wickham Market offerings. The data is incomplete!
Further perusal of West Suffolk shows that the locals are playing a close to the chest game.
I avoid all those dense sugary things like flapjack, brownie etc. I like a nice proper cake, victoria sponge, coffee and walnut etc. But many cafes these days don't have that type of cake, presumable because of the short shelf life, all they have is these slabs of stuff, normally enough for two. If it is the only option on a ride I eat half and put the rest in my jersey pocket for later.
What sweet treat do actual millionaires eat?
Billionaire Brownie of course, it's all about aspirational slices, eat for the wealth class you want to join, not the one you're already in.
Of course the further up the wealth ladder they go the more alliterative and Niche it gets, 'Musk Macaroons', 'Bezzos Baclava', 'Thiel Turnover' or a 'Gates Gateux'...
In all of them the special ingredient is usually the tears of exploited workers 😉 it's a flavour you can't replicate even with the poshest butter.
Beware the shortcake base....
Its a sub par copy. The Temu of the cake world....
My Gran used to make it. It was absolutely amazing as a 7yr old!
@duncancallum.....your occasional late night taxi driver makes sublime Millionaires shortbread...Then the Mint slice will send you to heaven.!
Occasionally come across Millionaires Flapjack, which is great if you hate having teeth ?
Does it come with pink or mint custard?
away with your weird coloured/flavours of custard - but if you want to elevate millionaires shortbread from over indulgent snack to “pudding” status take some ordinary custard (hot) and pour over the millionaires shortbread and leave until the chocolate starts to melt (which also means the caramel goodness will escape into the custard).
Dammit. Now I want cake.
Yes, but this is a biscuit thread, as clearly millionaires shortbread is a biscuit.
No one has mentioned tiffin ! I prefer it to both Rocky Road and Millionaires shortbread
I make mine with cranberries, cherries and goji berries with almonds or brazil nuts and the essential digestive biscuits. It sound be sickly sweet but careful selection of the not too sweet dried fruit can avoid this pitfall.
No one has mentioned tiffin ! I prefer it to both Rocky Road and Millionaires shortbread
We have, and you are correct
Best millionaires slice I’ve had was at Gloucester services on the M5. They have all sorts of organic / fancy stuff but the millionaires slice was epic. Decent base, lots of caramel and then really thick crisp / crunchy chocolate on top. Must be approaching a million calories but it was so good. Last few times I’ve called in they haven’t had it though sadly.
That said, I am partial to a dirty Greggs custard slice. Retro dessert ftw.
I much prefer a nice Tiffin
Same here.
So why is it an Empire Biscuit?
Empire biscuit?? Biscuit sandwich with jam, icing and a cherry thing? Well that's only really a Scottish thing. Rarely seen south of the border imo. Even then it's got a different name.
Tiffins and Rocky road type biscuit mashups are also good. They feel like a viable pre or during activity snack and millionaires shortbread for after. Less of a sinker.
I confess to not being sure what tiffin is. I've vague recollections of seeing it on cafe menus but I couldn't describe it. It sounds like it should only be eaten with lashings of ginger beer. Or something Jacob Rees Mogg's nanny would spoon feed him.
Billionaire Brownie of course, it’s all about aspirational slices, eat for the wealth class you want to join, not the one you’re already in.
Of course the further up the wealth ladder they go the more alliterative and Niche it gets, ‘Musk Macaroons‘, ‘Bezzos Baclava‘, ‘Thiel Turnover‘ or a ‘Gates Gateux‘…
In all of them the special ingredient is usually the tears of exploited workers 😉 it’s a flavour you can’t replicate even with the poshest butter.
That explains the difference between Millionaires and Billionaires Shortbread being the addition of salted caramel
Tiffin is like a Rocky road without marshmallows and with a bit more dried fruit (sometimes). Crushed biscuits, chocolate, some other stuff as sweet aggregate for structural stability.
So why is it an Empire Biscuit?
Used to be called 'German Biscuits' until the 1940s, probably a joke somewhere about an appetite for power
I always find it a bit too rich personally
Yep, the sort of sickly sweet, over-sugared, under-flavoured goo that helps explain why the UK is now populated by a curious species of waddling, spherical people who - if on two wheels - invariably have electrical assistance...
Joking - not really - aside, our local 'cyclist approved' caff offers a range of cakes which seemingly consist of some sort of ultra-compressed sugar created by a secret method that allows them to somehow cram around a kilo of sugar into something the size of a small biscuit. All overwhelmingly sickly sweet and guaranteed to trigger some sort of hyperglycaemic crash within 10 minutes or so.
I like Portuguese custard tarts though.
Too sickly. Plus caramel is yuck.
kormoranFree Member
I always find it a bit too rich personally
Deserves more recognition.
And I tend to agree, I find it very rich and avoid it on reflux grounds. A decent piece of shortbread is already food of the gods, the risk of getting a crap version with shite caramel and cooking chocolate is too high a risk against the inevitable indigestion.
Best millionaires slice I’ve had was at Gloucester services on the M5.
Not surprising - that place is amazing (unless its mid day on a Friday/Saturday during summer).
@Sandwich Ah yes, Pump Street Bakery. My mother visits there a lot on dog walks and sends me photos of the teas she has had there. For me though, Orford will always be the place I used to buy smoked eels and other delicious smoked treats.
Has Wickham Market upped its game? I can't remember the last time I went there by choice outside of visiting friends or going to the restaurant that the New Peach Bower replaced. My misspent youth meant I was mostly just hanging around the Pettistree Greyhound playing pool.
As an adult when I moved 20 miles north to Glasgow, it was called “caramel shortcake” and people looked at me like I was a communist if I asked for “millionaire shortbread”
This has solved a long-standing source of puzzlement for me … I always wondered what millionaire shortbread was, as it looked just like caramel shortcake to me. Turns out they’re the same thing. I’m off for a wee lie down.
I like Portuguese custard tarts though.
Me too.
We had a lovely Portuguese tart and Millionaire shortbread at: The Old Barn, Marton in Cheshire. Always cut any cakes in half and share with hubby.
I like Portuguese custard tarts though.
I'm just off on a lunchtime walk. They local coop sell them. I might divert.
Interesting all the analysis of different recipes being discussed above. The sad reality is that probably 95% of the rancid millionaires shortbread you get in UK cafes will have been produced in the same Brake Brothers factory in Kent....
caramel shortcake
Caramel shortcake doesnt have the chocolate top coating, just usually a few chocolate sprinkles.
Thats kind of a Glasgow thing as they used to serve it at school.So not sure which part of Glasgow they're saying such.
The sad reality is that probably 95% of the rancid millionaires shortbread you get in UK cafes will have been produced in the same Brake Brothers factory in Kent….
You are definitely going to the wrong cafés! Motorway services, greasy spoons*, and high street chains? Maybe. Independent cafes, never in my experience. Maybe it's because I seek out those with really good coffee, homemade cakes and friendly staff. There are no shortage anywhere I've been if you make a little effort to seek them out.
*The subject of another thread perhaps. I really like a good 'greasy spoon' sometimes. A massive mug of steaming builders tea, a decent bacon butty or ham, egg and chips etc. when that's what you're in the mood for is epic. Not where I'd go if I wanted a goats cheese and quinoa salad followed by homemade cake though.
You are definitely going to the wrong cafés!
I didn't say I went to them. Like you I try to find decent ones.
I always find it a bit too rich personally
Very good
