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it may not be how you see it now but thats what it was created for.
A couple of hundred years ago maybe, but marriage hasn't been that for anyone alive now, so citing it as a reason not to get married, is redundant. Marriage is entirely a personal choice, and even if you're both idealistically egalitarian, it needn't be the barrier to having a ceremony/ritual of life-long sharing, if that's what you want.
it may not be how you see it now but thats what it was created for.
1800s are over TJ.
1800s are over TJ.
He's still fighting on, like Hiroo Onoda....
Its not "almost" like a transfer of property - thats what it was. some folk may have forgotten this.
“Was”
Now it's more like a reclamation of bathrooms.
" She's your problem now, son. I'm awa' for my first shite in peace for 26 years"
This is like saying "I don't have a car, as I can't afford to employ a man to run in front of it with a red flag..."
So what purpose does it serve now? an outdated tradition that has lost its meaning - although an unmarried woman in a relationships still has more freedom in some ways.
One thing that really gets me tho is the amount of money people spend on weddings. If its all about committment why spend £50 000 on it?
Teej, chill man, there's no need to be polarised on absolutely every bloody opinion. It's okay for some of us to hold a different view from you, it doesn't make us right or you wrong, and vice versa.
So what purpose does it serve now?
Well the significant dowry came in handy. I'd never had an ox before.
what do you care what people spend their money on? I mean, imagine! people spending their own money, without bothering to seek your permission!! the cheek of it.
As for purpose, there's any number of reasons why people want to declare a vow to each other! Surely you can see that?
Quite agree no beer. sorry if that came across as too dogmatic. I thought the pic of Mille Tant would show my tongue was firmly in my cheek.
Its not something that harms anyone ( other than the married pair 😉 )so its nothing to get excited about
[secretly covets Perchy's ox]
[secretly disappointed that you're not coveting my ass]
Ox? If I knew there was an ox involved..................................................
Oops - MrTJ is from south yorks working class stock. I'd have been lucky to get a ferret
I've considered it for the future, but only good reason I can think of is it being a nice way to demonstrate long term commitment. But we demonstrate that to each other daily, through trust and loyalty. Marriage brings nothing, it's in our actions that commitments are made to each other, without external validation.
People marry because that is what is expected of them and what they have been conditioned to do, simple as that.
One thing that really gets me tho is the amount of money people spend on weddings.
That says more about you than them!
People marry because that is what is expected of them and what they have been conditioned to do, simple as that.
Nope. Don't be judging the rest of the world.
People marry because that is what is expected of them and what they have been conditioned to do, simple as that.
Apart from the fact I didn't get married for either of those reasons, so maybe not as simple as you would like it to be....
but only good reason I can think of is it being a nice way to demonstrate long term commitment.
Except it doesn’t do that at all as divorce is an option.
Currently still married, but not for much longer (tied by a property & paperwork to sort) but we split amicably and are still friends, we have both moved on into other relationships.
Funnily enough not that long ago, we joked about what was the point. Its just made what as, despite the amicable nature, something infinitely harder and more expensive to unwind.
Both of us can sit back now and say, it literally made no difference. I won't be bothering again.
Kerley - why did you get married then? Genuine interest.
Also divorced, didn't think I'd bother again but here in Basque Country you get a better deal when you do your tax returns, among other financial incentives, which might explain why we have the highest divorce rate in Spain (two thirds iirc)
Edit, upwards of 70pc it seems
Can't see the point myself. I've been with my partner about 20 years. We've actually been engaged for about 18 of them! In that time many of my mates and similar aged family have married and split up, (not all granted) Our daughter has both of our surnames and if we did split up now, I'm sure the whatever financial arrangement we had to come to would be largely the same as if we were getting divorced - we have a jointly owned house, (massively outstrips the value of all other stuff we own) and Alice would still need to be provided for while she's at university.
Bit of paper wouldn't change any of that or the way I feel about my relationship.
As a Christian I have no idea why people who aren't religious get married - just seems an excuse to have a big party to show how much money you are able to spend to most folk. Why not just have a civil partnership instead? That's all you need to get the legal/financial (if there is any financial ones left) benefits.
Making wedding vows in a church to a God you don't believe in seems a bit pointless to me.
Making my wedding vows to my wife and God was the most serious commitment I've ever made in my life as it mattered to me deeply that I do not ever break those vows.
Making wedding vows in a church to a God you don’t believe in seems a bit pointless to me.
A wedding doesn't have to be in a church. Ours was in a hotel, with no reference to religion in the ceremony. And it was a very small and cheap party.
Making wedding vows in a church to a God you don’t believe in seems a bit pointless to me.
I didn’t as making vows to someone in front of someone who doesn’t exist seems a bit pointless to me.
Add to that like many Christian beliefs marriage predates Christianity.
As a Christian I have no idea why people who aren’t religious get married
Probably because it is no longer a religious ceremony..
Making wedding vows in a church to a God you don’t believe in seems a bit pointless to me.
You can get married without using a Church....
Making my wedding vows to my wife and God was the most serious commitment I’ve ever made in my life as it mattered to me deeply that I do not ever break those vows.
Which you'll find is no different to non religious people getting married except there's no mention of a make believe deity involved.
Couldn't resist a dig eh Drac?
EDIT or footflaps
FFS people.
I couldn’t resist replying to someone having ago at none Christians for getting married and then completely getting their facts wrong.
As a Christian I have no idea why people who aren’t religious get married – just seems an excuse to have a big party to show how much money you are able to spend to most folk.
We really love big family parties and wanted to get our respective families together for a massive do. It wasn't expensive and didn't involve God, and also clearly wasn't extravagant because we asked everyone to bring a dish for the buffet. It was great 🙂
Couldn’t resist a dig eh Drac?
EDIT or footflaps
FFS people.
WTF!
He asked, I answered. Now, hopefully, he will have some idea why non Christians choose to get married.
I couldn’t resist replying to someone having ago at none Christians for getting married and then completely getting their facts wrong.
I didn't express facts, I gave my opinion. I wasn't having "a go".
I know you can get married in other places and it can be non-religious, but the image of a wedding in a church is still the dream for a lot (not all) of people and they go and have a religious wedding where they say things they don't believe just to have nicer wedding photos in a pretty church.
Which you’ll find is no different to non religious people getting married except there’s no mention of a make believe deity involved.
I didn't say it was.
We got married so my Mrs could show off a bit and we could have a big fancy do. It was amazeballs. Cheers.
It's my 5th wedding anniversary next month, which seems a bit wierd as we've been together for 24 years.
We were never bothered about getting married, we spoke about it from time to time but always found something else to do. After kids though we liked the idea of all having the same name and the legal aspects with financies should anything happen.
I did propose and managed to make it a surprise, even though we were going to buy an engagement ring together.
Now I love being married and feel we should have done it a long time before. We always knew we were together forever. We just couldn't do with the fuss.
Wedding was very low key and a great party which loads of people say it was the best they'd been to.
Newrobdob - you cannot have a civil partnership unless you are gay- otherwise thats what we would probably do to make inheritance and wills easier
My commitment to Mrs TJ does not need anyone else to validate. I know it and she knows it and thats all we need.
they go and have a religious wedding where they say things they don’t believe just to have nicer wedding photos in a pretty church.
I know, the bastards, it's like they have minds of their own and do what they like...the heartless beasts
My commitment to Mrs TJ does not need anyone else to validate. I know it and she knows it and thats all we need.
In which case I suggest you don't bother getting married....
Similar to many on here: 30 years in, of utter bliss, obviously, married for 20ish. **** me. Seemed a way to formalise things re kids, house etc., and have a paaaarty. And as my wife romantically said, as we decided to go through with it, who was then stuck at home with small kids: if you're going to leave a bloke you may as well be married to him...
elshalimo
Some of the crap being spouted on this thread is a measure of the individuals concerned and their bad experiences and not the concept of marriage. Marriage works for some but not others. Simple.
If it doesn’t work for you then fine but don’t judge others you sancitmonious gits.
+1. No shortage of bitter, miserable people on this forum. Neither my wife or I are religious or overly traditional but we're happily married. We were together for 10 years before getting married and did so because we decided to have children, something we didn't take lightly. For us, having children was/is an agreement to stay together for them and that's not negotiable. Both of our parents are still together and we both feel lucky in that respect having seen what happens to children when parents separate.
Some of crap being spouted on here is but those who thinks marriage is wonderful as they’ve never been divorced or in a bad marriage. That said neither have I but still think its a totally outdated concept.
Newrobdob – you cannot have a civil partnership unless you are gay- otherwise thats what we would probably do to make inheritance and wills easier
Apparently that’s just his opinion though not fact he got wrong.
Newrobdob – you cannot have a civil partnership unless you are gay
I actually didn’t know that. Now that IS daft. Seems like it would suit a lot of people on here much more than a wedding.
Never got married and although currently single, no intention to ever in future. I had never wanted children and frankly see no advantage to me whatsover in getting married. Seen it destroy too many of my male relatives and friends, the same ones who would always get on at me for not being married. Funny enough, they mostly agree I had called it correct, but too late for them now.