Look at the state of that lawn! (How do I fix this)

Extend the patio and save yourself the hassle.

grass is boring so use this as an opportunity to do something a bit more interesting

https://wildflowerlawnsandmeadows.com/product/wild-flower-lawn-seed-mix/

orchids, thymes, camomiles, mints - all variants that live amongst the grasses and flower low enough that you can still mow the lawn as usual.

I stayed on a campsite once that had mint growing in the grass - smelled amazing when you walked on it.

Turf.

Plastic grass 🤔

Seed. Any type assuming it isn’t shady. Best time to sow will be late April when it will get well watered but the temperature can be relied upon to rise above 16 to 18 degrees consistently. Ideal ground temperature is above 12 degrees for germination. Based on that timing it should have established prior to the intense heat of the summer so won’t die off.

Water, water and more water (but not too much) is the key to successful germination but once it has germinated reduce the water immediately so that the roots have to dig deep to find moisture which will make it more likely to survive in the long run.

The bare ground is likely to get moss growing over it, so maybe roughen it up, get grass seeds and a fertilizer mix spread over it and see if it'll take...that can be recovered easily enough, but will need care to keep the moss away. Once the grass is properly growing then a bit less care is needed as it should only need a cut.
Leaving it to go wild is easiest choice but you've no way of knowing what will grow (but likely to get a great range of insects, bugs and birds).

Pretty much what is said above directly above this post...more eloquently written than mine!

Sounds like good advice, thanks Sola

assuming it isn’t shady.

That bit is key though: It's North facing and shaded by a large Sycamore.  So definitely shady.  I've seen seed types suited for shaded areas, so will go for one of those.

Can you point me to the lawn in your picture?

Put a really nice bike on it to distract onlookers.

Put an old Vauxhall with no wheels and three different coloured doors up on concrete blocks to cover up the worst part.

... and i'd be straightening up that fence post too.

Another vote for plastic grass, assuming you don't have a dog.

Grow some veg and flowers. A lawn that size is just a pain in the arse.

My lovely garden

following for advice on my terrible lawns.

but from what i understand thats knackered. it needs a bit of aeration, top soil and seed.

the bit i dont get is what seed. I looked at the lawn packs you can get these days and its several hundred quid to do mine vs a few boxes of crappy seed from asda

Plastic grass

Plastic grass is just ****ing dismal, paint your fence grey while you're at it maybe

There is only two things worse than a terrible lawn, gravel aka a litter tray, and plastic grass!

PS If you use the rear gate put a path in, either boring up the site or add some interest and wiggle it through the middle.

it needs a bit of aeration, top soil and seed.

That's what mine will be getting soon. Except i'll need 40 bags of top soil...

After 3 years of failure trying to get good looking grass again after becoming a dog owner, I found the only hardy grass is Rye Grass, which grows in dense clumps so still looks equally crap. My plan is to spread and sow a metric load of clover seed during March to fill in the empty patches as it's resistant to dog pee.

I like @maccruiskeen idea with the low flowering lawn seed mix but a bit dubious about the mint aspect of it, I remember being younger when my dad planted mint in a section of the garden he'd marked for a wide variety of herbs, within two years the only herb there was mint and it was spreading to other areas of the garden. Got mint myself but it's in a pot, unless it's a different kind in that seed mix?

Two years ago I re did my lawn. I dug in loads of compost, manure, a bit of sand, I gave it the best possible chance. It grew well for two summers but this winter has absolutely destroyed it. It now looks like the OP's picture, and I think it's jus because it's so flippin wet.

I hate plastic grass, but I have to say if my garden was that small I'd not bother with a lawn at all. I'd put in beds all around built out of oak timbers or stone attractively designed, and extend the patio into the rest.  This kind of thing:

Plastic grass needs to be banned. IMO the process of making it and disposing of it after its life has ended is unethical.
A REAL lawn provides food for birds, insects and worms that are able to function.
As above, I would put down a mixed grass and wildflower mix.

Plastic grass 🤔

...and get some of that Playmobil plastic fencing while you're at it - and get grey windows too!

But do away with it and do what molgrips suggests! ^^^

this winter has absolutely destroyed it. It now looks like the OP’s picture, and I think it’s jus because it’s so flippin wet.

This kind of thing:

Is there a picture of how 'this kind of thing' looks in February? I don't see much in that picture thats evergreen, let alone winter-flowering. (Unless its all plastic of course)

Not knocking it but winter is winter and it's likely to come at least once a year for the foreseeable future. Do you not think the lawn you've got will bounce back?

It's difficult to be certain, but that lawn (in the OP picture) looks incredibly wet (but that could just be down to all the rain we have had), but if it is getting waterlogged easily, it should be aerated (just a garden fork poked in all over the lawn should be enough) an, if it were me, I'd then put some more seed down (but not until the risk of frost has fully passed) and see how it goes this year – grass is often very resilient and will bounce back.

Ohh, and try to minimise walking on it until it has recovered.

If you buy seed get a fescue based mix... Don't buy rye grass or make sure it has minimal rye grass content 😉

My lawn looks to be more wild garlic and moss then grass, next dry weekend up will need to cut what ever grass is there and then rake all the moss out, somehow pull the garlic out. Then as another OP said, aeration, top soil and seed with watering.

During lockdown, we made the decision to go for gravel, precisely because we hated the idea of plastic grass, but wanted natural drainage. We haven’t regretted it.

My lawn looks to be more wild garlic and moss then grass, next dry weekend up will need to cut what ever grass is there and then rake all the moss out, somehow pull the garlic out.

I don't know why people are upset about moss. Or wild garlic frankly - lovely stuff and difficult to grow if you want to as it's very particular about its conditions. You can also sell it at about £10/kilo (which you can't really do with lawn clippings). Bag it up and have a little honest box for your 'local produce' at your front gate.

Moss is fine isn't it? - Used to have a garden under a large sycamore and surrounded by tall hedges and the 'lawn' was mostly moss and that was fine. Didn't need to mow it. Green, lovely and soft to walk and sit on. What's the problem with that?

We've been in our house for 10 years now and have never been able to grow grass. It's north facing and surrounded by very tall trees (pine, oak, silver birch) so doesn't get much sun and the pine needles kill pretty much everything. Add to that two footballing kids and two feisty spaniels and it's had no chance. The OPs picture is 10x better than the best part of our garden, which is mostly mud with a bit of moss here and there.

I've spent thousands of pounds on turf, seed, tools (including those spiky sandals for aerating that make you look like a tool trampling around the garden for hours) and nothing has worked. I hate plastic grass but I'm now at the point where we are considering either that or pave the whole thing. I'd rather move house!

OP, your neighbours garden looks green, is that plastic or real? If you don't get much sun then I would just pave it. As I've discovered, even hardy grass that is branded as "shady" needs some sun.

If it was my garden I would ditch the lawn. You could to some big raised beds and a nice raised pond. A little bit of extra paving so you could maintain the garden and the pond. You could plant the garden with plants to attract polinators add a pergolla for some height and grow some climbers up it.

The BBC have been running an old wildlife gardening program, it's well worth a look for inspiration.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/b08tbcz0/wild-about-your-garden

Pergola in one corner, bike wash zone in another. Gravel over a weed membrane and a few nice beds with long grasses to add some height. No way would I bother with grass in that garden.

OP, your neighbours garden looks green, is that plastic or real?

Plastic!

I'll bet the air doesn't move at the surface, hence the Principality-Stadium-Pitch-Effect of the lawn. Aeration, sanding, feeding and over-seeding is what you need.