MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
In-ear headphones getting tangled up in my pocket.
Weetabix crumbs getting everywhere no matter how careful I am when getting the Weetabix out of the packet.
👿
vaccum cleaner hose.
Is it a sign of madness if you swear at the hoover and kick it when the hose gets all wound up and turns Henry over?
thought so.
The next poster.
Toast crumbs in bed...
Left hand drive cars being driven in london...
lounge music!
When petrol station goons stick the '8' in upside down on the price signs.
You know when you drop something small and go to pick it up and it slips from your fingers and takes about three or four goes to actually pick it up again? That.
And when the tea bag flops back off the spoon and splashes tea everywhere.
The next poster.
Post reported! Bwahahahaha 😈
Your Mum...
The 3 second opera type soundbite for champions league footy - where they sing 'the champions' - **** hate it..... irrationally I know....
If it wasn't so little, it wouldn't annoy me 🙁
Or when you have a really tricky small nail to hammer in - you *just* get it in place and are about to hit it when it falls back out. 👿
Mastiles_fanylion
But there are plenty of reasons to be annoyed by me.
I am little though.
People who can't be bothered to blow their noses. Sniff! Sniff! Sniff!
The person in front in the supermarket queue not putting the little "next customer" thingy behind their shopping...
AAAAAAAAARGH! KILL! MAIM! DESTROY!
The cheeky tilt-head to one side and sit there with your hands in your lap like a little old lady mannerisms of Bill Turnbull.
Whistling
Children
The parents of said children
People that suddenly stop or change direction in the street without checking to see who's nearby
The inability of workmates to avoid pissing on the seat or smearing the toilet bowl with crap
Most TV adverts
Stansted Airport
People leaving cupboard doors, drawers and wardrobe doors open, grrr!
The person in front in the supermarket queue not putting the little "next customer" thingy behind their shopping.
You could always do it yourself..?
People who whisper.. I CANNOT STAND IT i tell you..
The person in front in the supermarket queue not putting the little "next customer" thingy behind their shopping...AAAAAAAAARGH! KILL! MAIM! DESTROY!
haha
You're a douchebag. I love folk that get annoyed about that and I intentionally wind them up. I can sense them getting all anxious behind me, despite there being a 6 foot gap behind my shopping that they could put their goods on.
Waking up and hearing Richard Madleys voice!!!!
You could always do it yourself..?
Who here makes very elaborate movements to say 'Look, I am doing this for you, you lazy ****less idiot' as they reach across said person to get the 'next customer' sign.
Not that I do, not ever.
Sometimes I just put my stuff down on the belt and watch a Mexican Standoff developing. They usually cave when they go into a blind panic that they may accidentally end up paying for my stuff.
despite there being a 6 foot gap behind my shopping what they could put their goods on
yes but the conveyor belt will stop at the next customer thing, thus ensuring that the checkout person doesn't carry on beeping all the stuff through when they should have stopped.
That's what they're for.
Think about it.
Automatic doors that are really slow to open, so you have to stop and wait for them
Crumbs in the butter - use a butter knife.
When you finish your coffee, forget, then go for a swig, the disappointment is overwhelming.
I too hate sniffers.
yes but the conveyor belt will stop at the next customer thing, thus ensuring that the checkout person doesn't carry on beeping all the stuff through when they should have stopped.
That's what they're for.Think about it.
It's even better when you pile your shopping on behind someone elses and they haven't put the next customer thing down. I can feel the pulsing of the vein on their temple.
My perfect topic - here goes:
+1 Hoover hose
Litter
Picking something up for it to fall over again, then pick it up again and it falls again - at that point it normally gets booted across house.
Computers running slow
iphone auto text thingy
Our newborn baby screaming - i know it shouldn't but it grinds on me
Work related - folk in change management jobs who dont understand anything technical relating to the change so you could tell them anything.
Rear mechs - the little L and H that you can hardly see
Bluetooth - everything to do with it
Printing from Computers and resizing images etc
Onion Skins/Garlic Clove Skin
Those Halifx isa isa baby adverts
The Lloyds TSB adverts - all of them with their shitty music
The Barclays bouncy castle adverts
Traffic lights that sit with all lights on red - or on green when there are no cars there.
Pot holes
My mother in law
Thats just a start!
EDIT:
Yep +1 for that tooAutomatic doors that are really slow to open, so you have to stop and wait for them
Crumbs in the butter - use a butter knife.
Do you decant the butter using the butter knife then spread it with another one? 😕
When you finish your coffee, forget, then go for a swig, the disappointment is overwhelming.
Or when the last mouthful has gone cold because you left it a tiny bit too long.
Ahh - that explains a small corner of British Culture I had never understood. Some people put the supermarket thingie on the counter, some don't - what is the proper form ?? One should do it, but of course one should never under any circumstances speak about it, if another person doesn't, instead display lots of sniffy body language ?? Bit like waiting in line for the bus then.
It's even better when you pile your shopping on behind someone elses and they haven't put the next customer thing down. I can feel the pulsing of the vein on their temple
what will happen though is that the checkout person will make the mistake that I described earlier, then what will happen is that your items will need to be removed from the other person's transaction before they can pay for it and you get your turn.
Which will just mean that you spend quite a lot longer at the checkout.
Wow you're a genius.
Crap driving on the motorway that has no effect on me (eg. in the rearview mirror or in a completely different lane).
Waking up and hearing Richard Madleys voice!!!!
Have you and Richard spoken to Judy about this yet? she has the right to know. Do you spoon?
Jeremy Vine!!!
Sometimes I just put my stuff down on the belt and watch a Mexican Standoff developing. They usually cave when they go into a blind panic that they may accidentally end up paying for my stuff.
I play that little game EVERY time. Adds a little bit of sunshine to one of teh worst domestic chores of all time 🙂
Fred
Being Stuck behind a Doris on a Boris (bike), riding like she's in a shampoo advert.
Ladies of the internet.
They offer so much but you can't even touch them.
people walking in front of me, or too closley behind me
The person in front in the supermarket queue not putting the little "next customer" thingy behind their shopping...AAAAAAAAARGH! KILL! MAIM! DESTROY!
That means their going to pay for yours too !!!!
People walking and eating (normally involving something from Greggs), and people who talk really LOUDLY into their mobile phone, these two are often combined 😈
Not tidying up the flex on the vacuum cleaner properly.
Not being able to do basic knots like a half hitch when tying off something round a cleat.
People talking inane rubbish on the train to the person sat next to them, but so loudly that the whole carriage hear, shut up please!
hels - Member
Ahh - that explains a small corner of British Culture I had never understood. Some people put the supermarket thingie on the counter, some don't - what is the proper form ?? One should do it, but of course one should never under any circumstances speak about it, if another person doesn't, instead display lots of sniffy body language ?? Bit like waiting in line for the bus then.
Person in front should place the thingy, as they are closest to it. Wouldn't want the person to have to stretch across would you?
Oh, and one waits in a queue for a bus, not in a line.
french bakeries.
a business set up to sell food - bread, pastries, cakes, flans - its prime audience (other than the early morning baguette purchasers) is people who, at lunch time, want to buy lunch - PURCHASE THEIR PRODUCT, PAY THEM MONEY.
which is why i find it bizare that they close at lunch time.
👿
what will happen though is that the checkout person will make the mistake that I described earlier, then what will happen is that your items will need to be removed from the other person's transaction before they can pay for it and you get your turn.
Which will just mean that you spend quite a lot longer at the checkout.Wow you're a genius.
I can tell you're getting really annoyed about this and suddenly the room you're in seems hotter.
My work here is done 8)
rewski - did you read the 'cycling tribes' feature in the guardian a few months back? The whole thing was good, but I think the species you refer too, were described thus:
The Beautiful Godzilla
The Beautiful Godzilla is a particular kind of urban female cyclist who rides as though the rest of the world were created simply to yield to her. She's generally young, good-looking and clad in expensive clothes. She also rides an old three-speed or perhaps a 10-speed or Dutch city bike, carries her handbag on the edge of her handlebars and if she has a basket it usually contains a small dog or perhaps a baguette. She's on her mobile phone at all times and her approach to cycling in a densely populated city is a combination of self-entitlement and Mr Magoo-type dumb luck. Like any self-entitled person, she can't imagine a car would possibly hit her, even if she's riding against traffic and it's coming right at her. Actually, you sort of find yourself disappointed when it doesn't. And just like Mr Magoo would wander into a construction site and a girder would materialise right as he was about to walk off the scaffolding, the Beautiful Godzilla blithely rides through red lights and busy intersections, emerging on the other side unscathed and just as photogenic as she was when she entered it.
Why other cyclists don't like them: They should be dead but aren't.
Compatibility with other cyclists: Will accept deliveries from Messengers; will develop crushes on Messengers.
Full article here
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/24/bike-snobs-guide-cycling-tribes
Hose pipe not going back onto the reel tightly.
Not being able to get the fourth bike in the shed without having to adjust the pedals on the other 3.
Wife stuffing so much rubbish in the bathroom bin that it won't come out. [b]IF YOU FILL THE BIN TAKE IT OUTSIDE! DON'T COMPACT IT INTO SOMETHING WITH THE DENSITY OF A NEUTRON STAR WOMAN![/b]
There/Their/They're
Whistling
**** you, enemy of happiness.
Harry_the_Spider - Member
Hose pipe not going back onto the reel tightly.Not being able to get the fourth bike in the shed without having to adjust the pedals on the other 3.
Wife stuffing so much rubbish in the bathroom bin that it won't come out. IF YOU FILL THE BIN TAKE IT OUTSIDE! DON'T COMPACT IT INTO SOMETHING WITH THE DENSITY OF A NEUTRON STAR WOMAN!
Not emptying the vacuum cleaner can create a similar effect.
I can tell you're getting really annoyed about this and suddenly the room you're in seems hotter.
nope - I just think you're a bit silly.
While we're on the whole supermarket etiquette thing:
Women (and it is ALWAYS women) who put all there shopping through the til then act, when asked to pay for them, as if they've just been requested to magic a rabbit out of their arse. There then results a five minute scramble in the handbag, pulling out its contents (an anvil, canoe, 7 months worth of receipts, more make-up than the cosmetics counter in Kendals etc) before they finally get a card/cash to complete the transaction
GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
On programmes like Emergency Bikers and the Customs type ones when they tell you whats coming up and show you the rest of the program, then show you again before and after the break...I'm watching the chuffin program i don't want to see the whole thing in a 30 second preview.....
and breathe!!!
Oh, and one waits in a queue for a bus, not in a line.
WTF would you know about waiting for a bus? 😆
Unexpected item in the bagging area......
There'll be an unexpected sledgehammer in your voice generation are if you don't shut up you useless piece of sh1t!
And....PMSL @ geoffj! 🙂
People calling a vacuum cleaner a hoover when it wasn't made by Hoover.
press any key to boot from CD....
no, i chose to boot from CD, why do you insist that i check my work?
pah.
Crying babies in restaurants after 9pm & people who let their kids run around (whilst they ignore them) in restaurants when there's waiters carrying trays of food and glasses.
*waits for abuse from parents* 🙄
And another supermarket checkout thing too.
When you've bagged up and you're ready to pay, the next person in the queue comes and stands right next to you. I'm still here you ****wit, wait for me to finish paying. Yes, I'm about to type my most personal 4 digit pin into this machine, I hardly want an inbred mouth breather stood right next to me watching me do it.
I pretend I've not seen them and bang into them.
A guy I work with always stands 10% too close to me when talking. If I move back, he moves in closer. I just want to push him over.
Fred
I am so glad, and [i]relieved[/i], to have bin included in this.
I would've felt very left-out and unloved if I had bin forgotten. So thank you. 😀
binners - The Beautiful Godzilla - spot on
Another thing that annoys me....
Seemingly intelligent people who choose to use incorrect spelling in some misguided effort to sound "street".
I don't know if this counts as a little thing, but just about every aspect of catching buses annoys me.
The bizarre etiquette whereby everyone stands in a line, but you are all getting different buses so what is the point ? And then if the bus is nearly full and the guy says "3 people only" it's elbows out rugby scrum time. And if you do jump the line nobody says anything anyway. (not that I ever ever do that, obviously)
Old people. You get free bus travel. Stay off the buses during peak hours you selfish old droolers. And even worse, old people with free bus passes who get on wearing a works uniform. Pure brass neck that is.
Smokers. Just rack off - you smell.
Cheap Young Persons Music Playing Devices. I have to turn mine up even louder.
Two seat baggers. Your bag doesn't get a seat. I'm not sitting up the back and getting sick so your bag can ride in style.
And the "sorry I only have this £100 note" types.
I'm sure there is more...
Old people. You get free bus travel. Stay off the buses during peak hours you selfish old droolers.
Just old people generally Hels. My doctors started early morning drop-in surgeries specifically so that people who worked could get to the docs before carrying on to work. You walked in there and the waiting room was full of ****ing pensioners. YOU"VE GOT ALL DAY!!!!! I"VE GOT TO GO TO BLOODY WORK!!!!
Binners - I think they have to go and spend so much time waiting outside Post Offices. That intrigues me too. Why not wait until it opens ??
They also go to M&S at lunchtime too then complain its so busy.....*sighs*
Hora's brain. 😀
Those who don't pay full attention when driving. With a special mention to those who are: talking on the phone, eating, applying make up, having a full blown in depth debate with someone else in the car, not looking far enough ahead, middle lane hogging, no indication at junctions, not being ready at the lights. You get the idea..
My home wifi network, How can a printer just "vanish" when it is less than 300mm away from the computer!!
Religious types who knock at the door, (generally whilst I'm having my tea) and don't get the message until you close the door in their faces that you're not interested!
Women (and it is ALWAYS women) who put all there shopping through the til then act, when asked to pay for them, as if they've just been requested to magic a rabbit out of their arse. There then results a five minute scramble in the handbag, pulling out its contents (an anvil, canoe, 7 months worth of receipts, more make-up than the cosmetics counter in Kendals etc) before they finally get a card/cash to complete the transaction
You forgot that after handing the card over, plus an unfathomable amount of time spent digging out '2p off Value Lard' vouchers, they then close their purse and put it away while doing the whole chip and pin thing. They then have to get it back out of their bag and open it up again to put their payment card back in, then open another slot to put their loyalty card back into, then open a different pouch for the till receipt, then after folding the very fabric of space-time they find another pouch to open to put in the debit card receipt, then finally close the thing and pack it away again before repating the whole exercise to get their car keys out 2 minutes later. Unless of course they play the bonus round of returning the trolley to get their pound coin back!
I love these threads.
The person in front in the supermarket queue not putting the little "next customer" thingy behind their shopping...
My related annoyance is people who, having loaded up the conveyor with their aeroplanes and other shopping, then stand waiting at the back of their shopping as far away from the till as possible. Meaning that, whilst there's half a conveyor free, I can't get anywhere near the sod.
Automatic doors that are really slow to open, so you have to stop and wait for them
These Class One bastards always catch me out, cos unlike most of the rest of the populace I walk like I've got a destination to go to at some point in the next hundred years. The doors open normally for three inches and then stop dead, I'm halfway through the other side by that point. Ow.
Children
The parents of said children
Parents who think their feral hellspawn are little angels who can do no wrong. "Aw, he's setting fire to that car, isn't he sweet? Just like his daddy." Bastards.
Ladies of the internet.
They offer so much but you can't even touch them.
I think you're getting mixed up with MC Hammer there.
Wife stuffing so much rubbish in the bathroom bin that it won't come out
My OH's party trick is to stack up shite in the kitchen bin till it's a foot high leaning tower of pizza standing proud of the top of the bin, then blaming me for not emptying it when it all falls over everywhere.
Unexpected item in the bagging area......
Don't even. I'm in ASDA. It's a loaf of bread. What were you expecting? The Mona Lisa? A kitten? A French traffic warden? Jupiter? The collected works of Shakespeare? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, IT'S A GODS DAMNED HOVIS TOASTIE, YOU SWINE OF A THING! "Assistance needed" my arse, I'm not the one suffering from baked goods identification failure.
press any key to boot from CD....
This is annoying because it's a lie. I've seen it correctly in a program, once in my life; "press almost any key to continue."
Fog lights on cars
Whistling
People standing in groups chatting in supermarket isles
People who can't/won't walk at roughly the same pace as everyone else on a busy street
People who commute on bikes that are really slow but always feel the need to be at the front of the traffic lights
Food you buy from supermarkets that has a cellophane peel back lid but never ****ing peels back. Why does it not just say 'stick a knife in here to open'
Energy saving light bulbs
Oh yes and one more about buses. Other peoples really really really boring inane might as well slash your wrists now if that is all you have to talk about, conversations that I have to hear when I have forgotten to charge my Young Persons Music Playing Device.
Related to work - illiterate people. So...
Don't know the difference between:
their/they're
of/off
your/you're
Put question marks at the end of sentences that are not formulated as questions.
Think that hateful etc ends with two 'l's.
Lots more...
Sweeping generalisations about an entire sex annoy me.... 
Not all women are like that! My switch cards in my pocket ready, I've finished packing at the same time she's finished putting stuff through, Then I've got my card in hand then pocket receipt and walk away....
Not all women even use handbags some of us drink pints, watch football and like sex....
Wife stuffing so much rubbish in the bathroom bin that it won't come out.
+ 1 million.
I live with two female PICU nurses. Despite their incredible skill in intensive care, they seem to be incapable of emptying the kitchen bin...
Oh another supermarket one - people who take 2 steps into the supermarket then stop dead in their tracks as if its the first time they've seen the inside of a shop.
People using the petrol Station to do their weekly shop, leaving they're* car at the pump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* <s****>