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I think it's a bot off tbh. As said above, if the situation was reversed would you even ask..?? We have a joint account (now entirely funded by me), but there was a "working" value put in evenly every month for the house to run, this didn't include motoring expenses and was seen as fair by both parties, especially as my fuel bill was exponentially higher.. Also has been insisted, "claim" for a new bike for your commuting purposes..
A shared account could be good.
We've got a Santander 123 one so we get cashback on petrol, supermarket shopping and utility bills. That's pretty much all we put on it. (+ rent and joint holidays).
We earn about the same so we both put the same in each month. Whatever's left of my wages is mine to do what I want with.
As for the "men pay, women pleasure"...
😯
Those commenting on her paying for half my bike.
Her response to me asking that is that it would be equivalent to me paying half her car. Seems fair to me.
Edit: No I wouldn't ask her to, as I'm earning £1.5k more, which would cover the cost.
TBF, it sounds like it could get out of hand here - you have clearly been discussing this for a while and the 'tit-for-tat's' are evident.
Joint account is the way forward. Both pay in - both take out. Then you get a share of her £1.5k additional salary and pay towards her fuel.
Must admit a bit bemused as Mrs JAMJ was a mature student with a small bursary (c£6k) when we met - I had a reasonably well paying job (£35k). All money went into joint pot and we shared. Only for one short period in our life together has Mrs JAMJ earned more than 50% of my salary - yet we share our costs and any money left over.
My money is her money and vice versa. In fact I don't earn for myself I earn for the family as does she.
'tit-for-tat's'
OK, I know some women like men with tattoos but still...
Even though they have been together for 7 years, it's been a long distance relationship.
We all know, that when you move in with the other half, life changes.
They are coming across normal relationship challenges.
I live in China.
Here it's normal to give the wife everything you have.
That way, she knows your going to be faithful (because you don't have anything left)
Let's get to the real problems here! I'm really worried that we have a person masquerading as a former James Bond actor on this forum...
Those with joint accounts- how does this work?
Do you both pay your salary into the same account?
I think personal costs and household costs are very different. Her commuting expense is her personal expense, not a joint expense at all. My and my good lady put the same amount into a joint account that covers mortgage, food, utilities etc, but we pay for our respective personal expenses separately (generally). We've lived together nearly 10 years and have kids.
That said, she uses my car pretty much every day and I bike commute 90% of the time - so I do in effect pay for her to commute to work! But she buys more stuff for the house than I do, so swings/roundabouts.
My money is her money and vice versa. In fact I don't earn for myself I earn for the family as does she.
I find it really hard to do that, I must just be a reet tight bastard. 🙂
Both our salaries get paid into one account which covers all joint expenses (petrol, mortgage, shopping, going out (together), holidays, etc.
We then get X amount each each month transferred to our own accounts to spend on bikes, shoes, lunch, whatever.
Personally paid into personal account and scheduled regular payment to joint account.
Works the other way around too
Do you both pay your salary into the same account?
We both pay our salary less £100 into the joint account and we also have a joint credit card (paid off at the end of each month).
The £100 we keep is for ourselves/presents etc but of course we can use the joint account or credit cards too.
I pay the bills, mrs rocket pays for the luxuries it's never been any different.
In terms of commuting the way I look at it is I pay for the fuel she uses so she can earn the money that pays for our holidays. Have never had a joint account
bails - MemberA shared account could be good.
We've got a Santander 123 one so we get cashback on petrol, supermarket shopping and utility bills. That's pretty much all we put on it. (+ rent and joint holidays).
We earn about the same so we both put the same in each month. Whatever's left of my wages is mine to do what I want with.
As for the "men pay, women pleasure"...
I simply paid everything as I didn't want to have headache over money issue between us. Besides, I was earning more than her in those days so I could afford to do so.
Contribute... you are not losing out and she is winning ... because you'll see it back
She not going to squirrel away that 1200 quid and kept it for herself... is she?
She'll buy some new clobber, maybe get her hair cut more... so she looks more pretty for you 🙂 ... and she'll probably pay for meals out the cinema more often...
TOGETHER you'll both have the same amount of money.
Do you share the car at other times, or is it [i]her[/i] car? Who pays for fuel if you go out together?
I think it's odd. My husband doesn't pay for me to drive to work.
I thought it was odd too. I've driven my OH to work - hell, she doesn't drive so I drive every time when we go out - and I've never even considered going "that'll be £30 please, love." That just feels... weird.
Hypothetically, whether I'm giving her a lift and thus paying wholly for it, or whether I'm working from home and she's spending a fortune on commuting, neither of us would go cap in hand to the other unless we were stuck. It's just the way finance has worked out for us.
Anyway. If you're going to act as individuals financially, then the commuting costs are individual also. I can't see any sensible logic that would dictate you should be paying half of the money for her to get to work irrespective of the fact you earn nominally more than she does.
If OTOH you're going to act as a couple then you both contribute to a central pot and decide between you whether travel costs come out of that or not. As you're earning more than her, you should of course contribute more proportionally; as it stands you seem to be arguing that extra you earn should be split equally between you, which is trousers. Back of an envelope calculation, say you're earning 20k (/21.5k) and decide to pool £400 each, she'd pay £400 and you'd be paying proportionally £415 (I think.) That seems a lot fairer and more sensible to me than "hey, here's a bunch of money."
As for the "men pay, women pleasure"...
Trolls troll.
In most grown up relationships, no one person should be financially better off or worse off than the other. A potential argument about fuel costs should be knocked on the head very quickly. Joint account with regular outgoings with proportionate contributions from both is the easiest way to do this. Otherwise you risk over complicating it. How much would you pay her in fuel costs if she is off work for 2 weeks.....
Wait.
She earns about £1.5k more than me (really dosent bother me).
No I wouldn't ask her to, as I'm earning £1.5k more, which would cover the cost.
Which is it?
Are you making this up?
I suspect this discussion in their relationship is more about her not liking spending two hours a day driving whilst he's seen to be swanning off on his bike (which he likes riding anyway) and going just down the road to work.
The money is the focus, not the cause.
I think it's me just getting used to everything being shared.
Don't forget, it's [i]both [/i]of you having to get used to this.
Thanks for peoples perspectives. Interesting to hear how others do things.
I think I'll discuss having a joint account.
Then everything we earn goes into the one account and then whatevers left at the end of the month is halved between us (savings, fun).
Sound sensible?
Cougar- she is the one earning more. I was just answering a question of 'what if I was in her shoes'
But she's earning the extra 1.5K. So she should proportionally be paying more, if that's the way they choose to do it.
I think my post at the top of this page sums it up - if the tables were turned would he ask her to do the same?
Would any of the people who have contributed to this thread or their partners ask the same? I doubt it. It's a bit odd. If it doesn't sit comfortably with you OP then there's something not right about it.
Cougar I think he meant if the tables were turned he'd be the one earning more
Cougar- she is the one earning more. I was just answering a question of 'what if I was in her shoes'
Aaaah, I see. Apologies. You'll need to turn the logic round in my previous post, then. (-:
If it doesn't sit comfortably with you OP then there's something not right about it.
TBH, if you have to come and ask the forum, there's something not right about it.
Very fiery relationship, not going to lie. Makes it more fun though (mostly).
A Russian and a German..
joint account with both putting the same set amount in is what me and my g/f did when we moved in together. even though she dragged me from south Yorkshire to London. that paid the rent and living costs, we each had our own money to go out with, paid out own commuting costs. even now we have a house and are married it's kinda the same although i put more in as i earn more and she has to buy yearly tube ticket that is 2k or something. i drive to my work and pay the fuel but it's only short (i cycle in summer but don't want to down a laptop in winter) everyones happy and we also have a holiday fund by both paying more into the join account then we spend.
I think I'll discuss having a joint account.
Then everything we earn goes into the one account and then whatevers left at the end of the month is halved between us (savings, fun).
Sound sensible?
A fixed amount might be a better idea. Then anything that doesn't get spent stays there for savings / emergencies. You'll be glad of a slush fund when the roof caves in.
Bear in mind also that there are legal implications if you have a joint account. Eg, I believe if one of you runs into financial difficulty (even accidentally, a missed payment or some such) it impacts both of you. I'd look into exactly what the implications are before signing anything.
In our household, the bills all come out of my account and leisure expenses come out of my OHs, along with funds towards a house deposit. Originally she paid me "housekeeping" so I could be Man and pay for everything, but I'm quite happy these days to pay for the electric if it means that later on in the year I get taken to Orlando for free. If either of us were paying disproportionately, it'd be reflected in our bank balances.
second the don't go for an all in one shared account, what if the relationship fails? what if one person decides to spend 2k on a watch form it. and if you do go for a joint account then it does link you so credit scores and such can be affected, although you can write to the credit agencies and ask to be disassociated from someone if they are negatively impacting you.
We only had a joint account (actually joint everything), everything went into it, and everything came out of it - served us well for 27 years.
Ask for £750 / year from her too (to balance up your salary levels) 🙂
Does seem odd IMO, you both chose the location and she chose her job with that location known.
We didn't go for any joint account/card/mortgage-related stuff until we got married. So now she can legally shaft me for everything I have and there's chuff all I can do about it! 😀
Luckily I'm more than happy to share everything with her, or I wouldn't have got married in the first place.
Point is, neither way is inherently wrong, it's just the way we've agreed to do things
This.
I dont know what you are grumbling about....I pay for all the fuel in both cars and her fags at £70 a month!!
She earns more than you - yet still wants you to pay towards her fuel? Seems odd.
I used to earn a little more than my wife (I now earn a lot more cause she now works part time as we have a kid) and we contributed equally to a joint account out of which came all our joint expenses. I paid separately for my fuel though cause I commute further.
All that said though - at the end of the day as the man in the relationship you will end up doing what she wants regardless......
We contribute to a joint account (not equally, vaguely similar proportions of salaries), which covers all joint expenses. Petrol isn't one of these, but I will tend to drive at weekends and what not to balance out ms njee20s increased usage during the week (I cycle/get the train to work).
Personally I couldn't fathom contributing every penny to a joint account (it's about half our net salary in both our cases), but I know that works for some people.
Tend to work on the basis that if we're covering joint expenses then ms njee20 can spend the rest on what she likes!
So, she was a Russian mail order bride? 😉
Have you factored in that she wastes 10+hrs a week in a car and you get to ride your bike?
Same situation here, I pay half the fuel.
The alternative would be to live inbetween our places of work and I would have to pay the same in fuel.
She earns 3k more than me.
Do not argue over money ... every one has personal arangements that either work or don't you can't really transpose what is right for one couple on to your own life . I think that my finances after to years together are my wage goes into a joint account my savings are in a joint account my investments (hollow laugh) are in my name My wife has an account in her own name for her Bursery and other support out of which she pays all child care and which she tends to use for what she sees as her personal expenses we also have a joint saving plan i think.
when we started i had my accounts she had hers and paid me rent but we both spent freely on each other and our joint needs. The merging of finances came along with our sons birth.
So from a clear division of assets we now have a confusing mess but the important point is we are happy with it and do not see any of it as anything other than joint money.
We have a joint account into which we both pay a set amount (calculated on yearly outgoings / 12). The rest is ours to spend as we choose - usually holidays / meals out (when car insurance and tax etc. has been taken care of)
We're lucky enough to earn roughly the same as each other mostly (wasn't always the case - I have caught up!), so it just works.
We learned a long time ago that it all comes out roughly equal in the end, so we don't usually bother to do the 'you paid for this, I paid for that' calculations.
Married 15 years and counting, been together 2 years longer than that.
It is a commitment test.
Source a VW UP or similar deisel engined small car?
If its 35 mins non rush hour or 60 mins rush hour then I am going to guess its 32 - 36 miles ? 68 miles a day = 340 a week. 6 galls in a small deisel a week. £6 per gallon £36 a week £156 a month .
Thats using a conservative MPG of 56mpg . VW UP or Bluemotion Polo return 60+ mpg .
Saves a few ££££ and she might stop moaning .
If you're going to get married, then get a joint account and split bills 50/50.
Check the forums she's using?
It's aliiIIVE!!!!