[Closed] Lilly Allen

I suspect, given that she's Keith Allen's daughter and also a succesful popstar, she'll get short shrift on here.

Sad, though.

I feel very, very sorry for her. awful thing to happen

That's the second time for her as well. We lost one really early on and that was bad enough. Her head will be all over the f##king show.

[i]she'll get short shrift on here. [/i]

I can't see many parents going down that route, sad for anyone to lose a baby - whoever they are.

Very sad news, especially at such an advanced stage in the pregnancy. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to meet someone who has lost a baby and stop talking such frivolous shite.

🙁

Yes, sad news.

Did anyone watch Secret Millionaire on Sunday night? The woman there had three miscarriages and never ended up successfully delivering a child. That must be pretty tough going mentally 🙁

6 months. Its gutting. As men we can't even begin to think how bad it must be.

very sad really bad news for her and her chap.

We lost one at an early stage also and that is awful, for it to happen in the later stages must leave you in pieces for a long time.

I had a friend who lost one at the same stage as Surf Mat and it took them six months to start getting things back together. It is very rough.

Dreadful news - I was very sorry when I heard, counted my blessings.

We also lost one at 12 weeks before the other one.

Not good and happens far more often than people realise.

Feel quite awful her.
Particularly as this is her second time.
It's impossible for me to imagine the emotions that she (& her partner) are going through.
I know she is a celebrity but I would feel the same sympathy for anyone who has to suffer such a tragic situation.
Very very sad...

I can tell you - the emotions you go through are hideous.

First off, I can't stand Lilly Allen's music, but that's awful.
Worst thing about it is how public it is. It's even on a forum on a bike website ffs. I bet it's all over Twitter too.
Very distasteful.

I don't think anyone on here will put the celebrity before the human. Regardless as to who she, her dad, step dad, boyfriend are. Must be so hard for her and her family.

Yep - [i]
kadebatts Kade
RT @TheHausOfTarek: NO MERCY AT ALL. RT @iTeamJBieber: Lilly Allen lost her baby. LMFAAAAAO. hahaha. i have no (cont) [link removed][/i]

Nice.

as catflees says ^^
Feel gutted for anyone that looses a baby at any age. We lost our first at a relatively early stage, I was still coming to terms with being a dad at the time and if truth be told, I wasnt really fussed by the whole idea. Until it wasnt there anymore, then I was crushed mentally.
Now have a very happy 7 month old daughter and she is the best thing to ever happen to me.

DezB
Agreed its maybe distasteful but do you think thats by her choice?
A sad consequence of being a celebrity in celebrity obsessed Britian with its gutter press media

Again as Surf Mat says it happens a lot more than you think and you can see that in the comments here. When it does happen to you, you quickly realise this when you discuss it with other people and that is one thing that helps a little.

[i]A sad consequence of being a celebrity in celebrity obsessed Britian with its gutter press media[/i]

You said it.

Not exactly sure why I clicked on a celebrity thread, kinda wish I hadn't

Just need to get my pedantry points in for the day - It's [i]Lily[/i], one 'l'.

Carry on

DezB I don't feel it's distasteful to mention this anywere. It's what 'some' people may say fir attention that is distasteful. The chances are that Lily Allen won't be Reading this forum but the publicity of her loss has helped other members speak about thier own losses, all there has been on here is empathy and sympathy. Those people who will make childish comments/jokes about Lily's loss or anyone elses would make sick comments regardless, we cant change that. I think the comments on here have been the opposite of distasteful and show we have lives away from MTBs.

And this is her second miscarriage.

Either she is still living too hard, or is just damned unlucky.

I'm not a fan of her's, but it must be very difficult for her right now.

I wish her better luck next time (if there's a next time).

Either she is still living too hard

I doubt that very much.

It's a shame for her and all that and for anyone that looses a baby but I don't feel 'awful' or 'gutted' for her. If I knew her I would though.

There's a great 'unsaid' on this thread. No one yet has made any negative remarks about the situation but everyone expects there to be some.

Her being a celebrity is not the answer so what is?

Are people really thinking that the lifestyle she is famous for might have contributed to the miscarriage?

And this is her second miscarriage.

[b]Either she is still living too hard[/b], or is just damned unlucky.

Sorry but this is actually offensive.

My wife lost one at 12 weeks, another at 37.5 - she's about as fit and "clean living" as anyone could be. It's just VERY unlucky.

Sometimes you can just be very unlucky. I agree with Gary_M though, despite having been through this (29weeks) this year I do not feel awful or gutted for her. I have an understanding of how she may well be feeling though.

[i]Sorry but this is actually offensive[/I]

Is it?

Are people really thinking that the lifestyle she is famous for might have contributed to the miscarriage?

You tell me!

How about Katie Price's stupid selfish behaviour during her first pregnancy and the resulting outcome?

About 10 years ago, my neighbour smoked during pregnancy, despite everyone telling her not to. The baby developed a brain tumour a few months after she was born!

After several operations and huge stress for the family, a year later the baby died. IT WAS HORRIBLE!

Now experts tell us that smoking is harmful and that you ingest a cocktail of around 1000 highly toxic substances when you puff on a cigarette.

Are you going to tell me that smoking didn't cause the tumour in the growing foetus?

There is no proof, but the balance of probability in these cases should be a lesson, but then people always think they know better.

Did Lilly Allen live an alcohol free, smoke free lifestyle, getting good sleep and rest and nutrition during her pregnancies? Who knows!

DezB - Member

A sad consequence of being a celebrity in celebrity obsessed Britian with its gutter press media

You said it.

Not exactly sure why I clicked on a celebrity thread, kinda wish I hadn't

For anyone to lose a child in such circumstances is awful and no matter the reasons there can be nothing but sympathy for all concerned.

For her to be able to cope with it happening twice means she must have a stronger character than many people.

[i]Sorry but this is actually offensive.[/i]

Only if you want it to be. What's up, no-one made the expected nasty remark yet, so you jumped on that one?

[i]My wife lost one at 12 weeks, another at 37.5 - she's about as fit and "clean living" as anyone could be. It's just VERY unlucky.[/i]

To be honest, I'm more "offended" that you chose to start a thread about this then.

It's a terrible thing for all concerned.
And a horrid reminder for us who've suffered the same loss(10yrs thurs for me, lost at 30weeks)

Collecting the birth and death certificate from the reg office at the same time is something nobody should go through.
And for mothers who have to go through a natural birth, knowing of the tragic outcome was to a painful experience to be part of.

I'm heading out now for a ride.
It'll be dedicated to my Lois, Matts little one, Lilly's and everyone who's had to deal with a loss so young.

This song means alot to me.

Do you think that anyone should make negative remarks?! There is no need to do that because the whole situation is negative.
Of course her lifestyle could contribute her to the miscarriage; by the way, everything could influence that.

Sorry but this is actually offensive

I don't think so. One thing I realised whilst working through things is that you think.. Why me? but then realise.. well why not me why should it be anyone else..

It doesnt offend me for people to talk about it and it wouldnt if there wa sa load of bad taste posts on here eithe rto be honest.

If a post was aimed at me and my situation then yes I would be offended.

Yes it is offensive because it implies that anyone that has multiple miscarriages might well "deserve" it because they live a none too healthy lifestyle.

Utter bo77ocks.

Talking about it is NOT offensive but making terrible assumptions is.

And yes lots have similar and don't get publicised - that's because they aren't famous. If anything, having it splashed all over the papers probably makes it worse.

All you want to do when this sort of thing happens in hide in a dark place with only your closest friends and family and try and cope with it.

A few others here have suffered similar fates and understand. The rest have no idea.

Sharki - cheers mate. Really appreciated. Hope the ride was/is a good one.

Awful thing to happen. Celebrity or not

[i]Yes it is offensive because it implies that anyone that has multiple miscarriages might well "deserve" it [/i]

As I suspected, you were looking for something that wasn't there.

Dez - are you [i]trying[/i] to be a complete ar5e?

This comment:

And this is her second miscarriage.

Either she is still living too hard, or is just damned unlucky.

Is what prompted my "offensive" comment.

That and your other comments make me question why you feel the need to "contribute" at all? Trying to be controversial or something?

Why not just stay out of it? Your comments add nothing.

Sorry Mat dont really see that to be honest. And there was definitely no suggestion that it was aimed in your direction.

If you have never gone through it then you would be blind to some of the facts, causes etc and it would be perfectly normal to assume that someones lifestyle may have had a hand in it.

As it is life is not as straightforward as that. :'(

TBH seems a bizarre thread to start on here... I think most of us know how threads go on here especially involving celebs.

A few others here have suffered similar fates and understand. The rest have no idea.

Max - okay I see where you're coming from but the fact is some of the most unhealthy, fag puffing, boozing women have a huge brood of healthy kids while some of the healthiest, most "clean" living mums to be have a complete nightmare with miscarriages or simply just not being able to get pregnant in the first place.

Lilly appeared to have a virus and that's it - it would appear that the virus is probably the cause of the miscarriage. Truly dreadful.

Some days you read something that makes you realise just how lucky you are.

I know Matt, you go through all these thoughts, but if anything it made me realise that it really isnt based on how "good" you are during the pregnancy etc, what will be will be.

It was a virus in our case, a pure fluke of ridiculous odds...

A third of all pregnacies end in miscarriage and given that Lilly has now had two she's at risk of recurrent miscarriage.

Very sad.

Hopefully the work that my company is doing will be able to help some of these people

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article6817618.ece

[i]Why not just stay out of it? Your comments add nothing.[/i]

Sorry, add nothing to [i]what[/i] exactly?

Max - terrible and must bring out a thousand "what ifs?"

Ours was a different but also hideous stroke of terrible luck too - less than one in a million.

wheres TJ to tell us the world is overcrowded anyway and she was selfish for wanting kids in the first place?!

As men we can't even begin to think how bad it must be.

+1

Sometimes, just sometimes, Hora, you say the most insightful and beautifully sensitive things.

Notice how it's [b]men[/b] arguing on here. Shame on you.

Firstly, I have no idea why Surf-Mat started the thread in the first place. It seemed bizarre to me - I suspect it was more about his eagerness to share his bereavement with us than a [ublic declaration of sympathy with Miss Allen. I'm sure she has a website or twitter or some such Mat; you could have sympathised with her directly.

Secondly, DezB, c'mon mate, you [i]were[/i] trying to be controversial when you made the "hard living" comment. It's classic STW behaviour. Say something that's going to wind [i]some[/i] people up a little then stand back, hands in the air saying "Never touched 'im ref". See ton for the classic example.

Thirdly, is any of us surprised this has descended into an undignified bun fight? Some of you ought to be ashamed of yourselves and the sooner this is pulled, frankly, the better. It's a sorry sight. 🙁

Notice how it's men arguing on here. Shame on you.

Now I could go into how the man is often ignored in these situations and expected to "man up" and so on or how the crushing helplessness, fear and distress that trying to help your partner get through a natural birth of a child who will never survive feels, but as I dont really see the point of this thread or really want to go on about relitively still raw feelings I think I shall bow out and stick to the bike threads..

It is a tragedy for her and all that know and care for her.
It is a tragedy that in this media clebrity obsessed world complete strangers are discussing this and offering her sympathy.
It is tragic what happened to surf-mat.
I doubt anyine think anyone desrves it but it is reasonable to ask about her colourful past and whether it was /is a factor. I am in no position to pass judgement or offer an answer
I am thankful it has not happened to me and that my kids are ok.
I think as a man you can understand loss and it is a bit patronising to suggest that the father has it easier than the mother ...both are hard

deadly, are you suggesting SM started the thread for his own vanity?

The trouble is i guess, those who have experienced a miscarriage will have much more of an emotional attachment to the subject than those who haven't. As a result they tend to be perhaps a little oversensitive towards it?

deadly, are you suggesting SM started the thread for his own vanity?

Not at all. I wouldn't confuse an over-eagerness to share with vanity.

Nobody thinking that posting a thread like this might be a part, of anyone who has suffered this type of loss, coming to terms with their own loss?

Some people need to be more careful how they tread.

EDIT: sod it, nothing to do with me

Deadly - the dates (of miscarriage) are the same, that's all. TBH, apart from some silly comments, it's incredibly comforting for "us" to share our losses.

As for the bloke being left out - didn't enter my mind. All thoughts were for my wife.

Anyway let's leave it there. Sorry once again to all those who have suffered similar.

Surrounded By Zulus - Member
Some people need to be more careful how they tread.

We lost our little boy at 19 weeks back in July, we took solice in the fact we have Amelie our 3 year old.

It must be so much worse if it's your first! Poor girl

I knew what this thread was going to be about and don't know why I clicked on it.

This is devastating for her, and brings backs memories of our own losses. Maybe the fact that she's a celebrity will bring more attention to the sad fact that this is more common than most people realise.

At 6 months it is not a mis-carriage, She lost her child. Think about that for a minute before making any flippant remarks or comments.

[i]Secondly, DezB, c'mon mate, you were trying to be controversial when you made the "hard living" comment[/i]

Er, you might want to check that.

[i]descended into an undignified bun fight?[/i]
Well as the guy who started the thread also started that, I guess that could be how he wanted it to go?

I don't understand the need for people to post on here argumentatively over such a devastating subject. It's a public chat forum, if someone wants to start a thread then they have every right to. Surf Mat has every right to post on here about it, there have been other threads offering support to other members/threads about depression/marriage break down/family & friends dying etc. Sometimes it's just nice to know that you are not alone and that other people understand what you have been through and as celebrities are known to most then its a common starting point to talk to people.

If you are not interested or are not in the frame of mind to post something sympathetic in situations like this then just leave alone. I know there's the argument that it is a public forum so it's to be expected but it's pettiness like this that makes this forum unlikeable and that is a shame. There's no need for it so try to be supportive of other people's loss rather than argue them down or make comments to try and get a reaction.

I've never experienced anything so horrendous so can't even begin to imagine what it must be like but even I have felt like reacting to some of the comments made so it's no wonder some who have been through it all have felt the need to challenge. Sorry to thread crash, that will be all. 🙁

Well said Emma.

+ 10 Emma, Sharki and supersessions.

i can't imagine what it must be like emotionally to be put into a medically induced labour knowing your baby is already dead, at 24-26 weeks she will have had to have delivered a stillborn baby and gone through a labour. She will have been excited and looking forward to have been a mother especially as she has miscarried before. And now it has happenned again.It's NOT her fault it's happenned one in three to four pregnancies end in miscarriage. She must be going through a personal hell but it happens she is also a celebrity.

Those of us who can conceive without any problems don't know how lucky we are and shouldnt mock those who fail to.

I think it is a very odd thing to start a thread about. Peculiar in fact. What on earth importance is it to us?

I think it is a very odd thing to start a thread about. Peculiar in fact. What on earth importance is it to us?

It has a cathartic effect for the OP.

Empathy folks. Its a powerful and wonderful thing.

When mrshora started having pains and passed blood early. It was a numbing and scary experience.

Us men will never know, come even close to knowing the risks etc women go through to give birth to us and to our Sons and Daughters.

I think it is a very odd thing to start a thread about. Peculiar in fact. What on earth importance is it to us?

The subject seems to be quite important to a few people on here TJ? Maybe the thread isn't actually about Lilly Allen?

Agreed Hora ...and TJ it may not have any importance to you so just don't post and move along? As you can blatently see from the thread it has relevance to quite a few people on here so don't wade in trying to stir things up.

As someone who's been through it. Twice. Can I just say

TJ - SHUT THE **** UP!!!!

That is all

I think that is a fitting end post binners. </thread>

mrs ton had a miscarriage.
i always thought there was a reason when a woman has a miscarriage....kinda like the natural way for a baby not to be born.
not a thing to mourn about.....if you see what i mean.

maxray - Member

TBH seems a bizarre thread to start on here.

I don't think I've ever (in several years of being on STW) seen someone ask why someone else has started a thread.......and then people ask why on a subject like this. Why is this not worthy of discussion?????

Part of the breavement process is talking about things and people are shooting down surfmatt for talking about what has happened to him. I really don't understand why you would want to do that? and to suggest that he would do it for vanity is just offensive. Maybe he finds it easier to talk about it this way.

My wife is currently 13 weeks and to think about this happening for the 3rd time (for us) is just unthinkable.

Some of you really need to have a good hard think about what you are saying!!

not a thing to mourn about.....if you see what i mean.

Ahh well, it was just cancer/brain tumour etc, it was meant to happen.

Silly argument.

I have no problem with someone wanting to talk about their experiences even of horrible things and where I can I do my best to be supportive

What I find odd is the discussing of a celebrities miscarriage. Seems odd to me and clearly to others.

I'll butt out now but I want to be clear. I have no issue with discussing things of relevance to us or to any stwer. I find the discussion of celebrities odd.

ton, so if a kids dies of meningitis, no cause to mourn, natural - just happened for a reason kind of thing?

people are shooting down surfmatt for talking about what has happened to him

fella's what i meant, was that in most cases a woman miscarries cos the baby is not well in the womb......and it is natures way of stopping the birth.
and how do you mourn something you have never known??