MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
I'll start
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A couple are discussing necessary changes to the family budget
"If you cycled to work", stated the wife, "we could get rid of one of the cars"
"If you let me have @nal sex" replied the hubby, "we could get rid of the nanny"
Apple have pulled the plug on it's latest project for the younger generation...
apparently the iTouch Kids wasn't such a good idea after all...
Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
Elfinsafety.
simonfbarnes.
LOL (well, I had to try very hard to stifle a proper yelp in the office) at Shib
Elfinsafety.
Yeeeessssss!
(Punches air in victory)
My mate's shagging twins who both like it up the a**e, I asked how do you tell them apart? He said easy, Sally's got long blonde hair, and Derek's got a moustache...
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Sisters Ann, Jan & Fanny have big feet. A & J go on a date. 1 of the boys: Wow, you've big feet. A: You should see our Fanny's: they're huge.
Experts are worried about President Obama's mental state after he pledged millions of dollars of aid to Northern Ireland, following the tragedy of Hurricane Higgins.
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I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok recently, to get my testicles checked out.
While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she said, "Don't worry, it's normal to get an erection during this kind of examination." I said, "I haven't got an erection!"
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She replied, "No, but I have!"
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My teenage son told me that he had sex with the neighbour's daughter last night for the first time. "Well done, son," I said, "I hope you used something though?" .
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He replied, "Yeah, a balaclava!"
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The guy who owned the Odeon cinema group has died. His funeral is next Friday at 2.10, 4.20 and 8.40.
time flies like an arrow
fruit flies like a banana
(G.Marx)
How do you get a fat bird into bed?
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Piece of cake
People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but those in Abu Dhabi do.
A priest & a hindu are making some toast, suddenly the priests says, 'look, I can see an image of Jesus in my margerine!'
Hindu says, 'I can't believe it's not Buddha'
Guy goes into the butchers
"I'd like to buy a wasp"
"we don't sell wasps"
"Well you've got one in the window!"
whats this, W
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A dead one of these, M
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After a hard day on the trails, an STWer goes to the pub, after a few pints of glorious warm beer he sees this 'older cougar' and makes his move. After several more beers ends up back at her place.
After a snogging session, she turns to him and says, "do you like mother and daughter action?"
"Oh yes" he replies
"Mum" she yells