[Closed] Ladies, please....(swim etiquette comments)

I very much doubt they will read this...

oh the struggles of daily life.

You've come to the right place to talk to ladies, there's, literally, hu....,thou...a few of them.

Mrs KO-Perfume rode off on a MTB so here's hoping

Why is breaststroke verboten?

I hate other people in a swimming pool, I'd go more often is I could find a pool all to myself! 😆 infact, I'd go every day.

I hate other people in a swimming pool,

So do Mrs KO Perfume and Mrs Kungfu Breaststroke. The OP can't take the hint though. 🙂

😀

That's why I normally go very early or very late!

I'm surprised you manage to float with such thick skin 🙂

So do Mrs KO Perfume and Mrs Kungfu Breaststroke. The OP can't take the hint though.

let's add in Mr Letching At Women Until They Leave Out Of Sheer Discomfort and Mr Watery STRAAAVAAAAA while we're at it...

Also, children playing. I'm trying to plod my way through a few desperate lengths here, stop moving around and having fun you little brats.

Why is breaststroke verboten?

Because THM is an old tri-athlete so breaststroke is not allowed but messing about with ....

Hand paddles
Fins
Ankle Bands
Floats
Stroke counters
Lap watches
And those god awful goggles with a snorkel up the middle....

are positively encouraged

Tri anchor .... 😆

😀

"Old" triathlete - how very dare you. "Ex" please.

Funnily enough I did empty some of the ^ out of my "old" swim bag last week. Like to swim free from "stuff" these days...ditto running and riding. Just go out and have fun.

But I like stroking brea[[b]Stop that now! Mods[/b]]

Why is breaststroke verboten?

Because it was the fast lane - should be front crawl only

The wearing of perfume should be a crime against humanity. Should only be worn in the privacy of one's abode.

Poor spatial awareness...

Takes one to know one 😀

Although haven't hung my fins up yet, still gotta tick off an IM or two at some point

But I'd agree completely with go out and have fun

48km obstacle race this saturday with 300+ things to scramble over ... not sure I'll finish... but so what ?? When I've had enough fun, I'll stop.

Good luck with that Ro5ey. I stopped at HIM as didn't have time to train properly for IM and didn't want to just plod round.

Loved HIM distance though (apart from cycling behind one bloke in speedos for a few km once - I have been disturbed every since). But got fed up with (cost and) kit as you hint at, especially in the pool. Old inner tubes round the ankles was the nadir!

So started off-road stuff, AR and then realised needed to learn how to MTB properly as I kept crashing. Love wild swimming these days.

Since we have a few swimmers on the thread, can I boast about the new 400m PB I swam last Friday? 5m22s 8)

Complaining about getting hit and perfume when your swimming in urine, poop,flakes and spit 😆

You're not a swimmer, you are a fish.

Sub 6 is a long distant dream for me.

Bravo on the PB!

Don't forget good old tampon strings - actually do forget them, that is not the best thing to have in your line of sight

Just go out and have fun.

unless you're in the pool, obvs...

Hell is other people. 😉

Because it was the fast lane - should be front crawl only

Shouldn't it be for fast swimmers?

You're not a swimmer, you are a fish.

Sub 6 is a long distant dream for me.

Bravo on the PB!

Thanks Teamhurtmore 🙂 . I feel your pain on the breaststrokers in the fast lane. Literally - too often I get kicked by someone breaststroking down the other side and being twice as wide as they need to.

I also had the opposite a few weeks ago - I strayed into a tri club training session and some plonker in a wetsuit kept trying to swim over me. He was faster at tumble turning than me, but not actually fast enough to overtake properly once he was out of my draft.

Since we have a few swimmers on the thread, can I boast about the new 400m PB I swam last Friday? 5m22s

Please say you mean you were attempting to swim 400 meters but only managed 5 meters 22 sentimeters (sic)??!!??!

Yeesh, that's 20s quicker than my 300m PB!

Yup, fast lane is a self-policing lane generally. Breastroke is fine as long as you have the require pace.

Messy freestyle technique should be banned more importantly!

Edit: Congrats finbar, that's an astounding time 8)

Please say you mean you were attempting to swim 400 meters but only managed 5 meters 22 sentimeters (sic)??!!??!

Yeesh, that's 20s quicker than my 300m PB!

Thanks. I came 6/10 in my heat 😯

Swim over you?? That's all part of the training for OW starts!! Guildford Lido on Thurs!!

I had a break over the winter and just getting back into swimming again. Scarey how the speed has disappeared. Just focusing on having fun, bashing out a few 1.5-2ks and technique.

Although competitive juices were flowing a bit today when a guy gets in next to me and is obviously pacing off me/racing me for first 400m. Let him stay just ahead for 400m, then gradually upped the pace when his technique started to fade and then pushed hard to leave him trailing behind. Childish I know....but fun 😉

There's an old bloke who has long standing/favoured status at our pool. Always starts the morning with a messy dump in trap 1, never showers and then swims backstroke with v wide arms in the fast lane. Hence nickname "smelly albatross". Young guards are too scared to tackle him and he gets very aggressive when swimmers do. PITA.

I always use the rather wide front crawl stroke when people do wide kicking. I will take a kick if it means i get to elbow them somewhere painful. Got someone on the head once, swimming down the middle of the lane it served them right.

I always use the rather wide front crawl stroke when people do wide kicking. I will take a kick if it means i get to elbow them somewhere painful. Got someone on the head once, swimming down the middle of the lane it served them right.

Ha! My old uni pool had a common issue with foreign students not understanding you need to swim clockwise/anticlockwise as per the sign at the top of the lane. I used to take childish satisfaction in timing my stroke to give them a sneaky punch if they didn't learn.

It wasn't me! I can't do breaststroke and I wouldn't dream of spraying on perfume before a swim 😀

Good time finbar, did it in 5:51 at Scottish Masters last month. Pretty decent I thought until I met an old school friend who told me that his halfway split in the previous night's 800m was 4:40, Jeebus!

I thought this was going to be a grumble about those god awful footballers wife swim suits which are basically a bikini with a connecting strap up the front, usually worn with a set of slag antlers.
If tha's bin thru t' t' Metro dome i' Barnsli then tha noz what ah mins.

I swam for a club when I was a kid and consequently can't abide by the lack of etiquette in public swim sessions. We used to have a rule that if you touch the toes of the person in front of you, they stop and let you past. This notice should be placed at the end of each fast lane in every pool.

Training for our Channel swim a few years back, I ended up at the Commy pool in Edinburgh with the kids one Saturday not long after it re-opened.
Decided to go and bash out a few lengths as they had lanes set up. Few Triathlete types and semi-serious looking swimmers in the lane I went into, they vacated pretty quickly after I overtook them a few times or it might have been because my dragon print beach shorts kept slipping down after every tumble turn.

You're my hero!

I swim, very slowly, in a lovely outdoor pool all year round. It's only 22m long, but it does fine. Last Saturday morning there were 4 other people in it. This is the busiest it's been.

Has the benefit(?) of a bit of celeb swimsuit spotting. Great when it's the Beckhams, pretty awful when it's Jonathan Ross!

I am just getting back into the swimming having had a barren few months, had a classic in the local pool while mini-g v1.0 was having her swimming lesson, there was a lady swimming the wrong way round in a fairly busy lane doing the backstroke and colliding with people but refusing to change direction. I think she was swimming what was clockwise for her, facing upwards, I had to get the lifeguard to explain it to her.

In terms of hating all humans and secretly racing each other while swimming, one guy who I sometimes train for various things with and I harness this, go to the lido near my house and we both get in at opposite ends of the same lane, kick off at the same time as each other, then attempt to chase the other one down over the course of the next half hour, in a 50m pool you can do a km without thinking about it playing that game.

All breaststrokers should be chopped up and fed to the fishes! I got an eardrum perforated by a kung-fu kicking female breaststroker once, and I've got a scar on my hip where another sliced me up with her fingernail. No word of apology on either occasion, the selfish, careless bitches.

Isn't lane swimming a bit like Road biking? A form of exercise that is quite boring and where people obsess over power and technique, but don't stand a chance of matching the pros. Though at least you can have a chat with your mates on a road bike.

So many more entertaining ways to keep fit in a pool (excluding the one you're thinking of).

I gave up swimming for a few years due to excessive pool rage on my part. I'm back into it now, but pretty much sack it off if I get there and there's more than 4 people in the lane - life's too short to get angry over swimming.

The list of annoying behaviours is long and detailed: Breaststroke, standing at the end, foot tapping then not passing when you stop, slower people pushing off in front of you, people in the fast lane who get cross when you splash them... Etc

Out of the water I'm quite tolerant. Not sure what happens when I swim?!

You can't beat a bit of pool rage. I was in the fast lane when a women started swimming up and down chatting to her mate in next lane (this meant staying on same side of lane not going clockwise/anticlockwise) another guy in the lane told the attendant "move her or I will" she carried on so he swam over her causing much splashes and gulping from her. she then got out so it worked. But next week another guy appeared and kept asking me all sorts of questions, boyfriend I thought, luckily original guy was not there, could have been messy.

I have gone past people by doing bad breaststroke too. Making a massive bow wave and lots of splashing. That normally has a good effect without hitting, bit tiring though

Don't get me started on the 'walkers' either 👿

Breaststrokers: turn early and head the other way
Standing at the end: turn early
Errant backstrokers: gently stop them or push them back on course
Footing tapping: in swim clubs the normal agreement is one tap to let people know you are going to overtake - don't stop, just ease up till they've gone
People getting angry: get out and quietly ask the life guard to keep an eye on what's happening in your lane - behave impeccably and wait for Mr(s) Angry to make a fool of themselves.

Madame noticed a woman in the showers putting conditioner in her hair, then putting a swimming cap on, then going swimming. This explained the foul taste on Tuesday lunchtimes.

I'm much happier in public lanes than with doped-up, hyper triathletes using paddles sharpened by years of non-tumble turns.

I once punched somebody who had earlier cut me up in the leg as them swam past the other way. I was disappointed how slowly my fist travelled in water.
I don't swim any more, I can't cope with the lane rage.

I used to swim on Monday nights and sometimes would be the only one in there. Now I swim at weekend lunch times as I find all my personal best swims have happen when the pool is busy.

The most incredible thing i have witnessed was someone using a woman to tumble turn off when the lane was so crowded there was no free wall space. nothing was said by either party.

For a moment I thought that Surfmatt had returned to the parish.

Crikey!

I've just started some lane swimming - once a week after work (I work away). I'm strictly slow lane and, because I'm so unfit, I can only manage one length of front crawl to every 6-8 lengths of breaststroke.

I apologise for my inadequacy to the heroes here, but I have to say that rage is the last thing from my mind when ploughing up and down for 45 minutes.

The 'swimmers' that annoy me are the ones that stand around talking at the shallow end right where you want to touch the wall and push off.
JUST MOVE OVER A BIT!!

Under doctors orders I'm swimming 4-6 times a week, this has to be breast stroke.

Things I'm finding annoying during 'open to all public sessions' are:

People who go into the pool without showering first. A lady proudly told me how she does an hour in the gym then goes straight into the pool. Yuk!

Men who can't crawl properly and splash everyone.
Men who decide this is my lane and I'm swimming in it regardless of children, slower swimmers or just everyone else in general. I try to guess what car they drive.

Women who swim in a pair, walk the first few metres and chat for the whole session, when everyone else has to swim around them.

People who crash into you from behind. Surely its like skiing, driving or cycling, person in front must have right of way (do what you like in lane swimming).

This swimming lark (as I'm new to it) has been a real eye opener to how selfish some folk are.

I did chuckle last week when 'Mr.I'm swimming as fast as I can in a straight line regarless of anyone else around', crashed into the floating barrier, that was placed across the shallow end for the tots swimming session. He had kicked a woman earlier in the head with no apology. grrr.