MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Seeing a good client at lunch who loves a good joke!
Inspire me with your best (he's not fussy morally speaking!!)
Cheers
Cheers prawn
C'mon the rest of you! I was trying to brighten up your day too!
I've got a seasonal one for starters:
I made myself a snowman
As perfect as can be
I thought I'd keep it as a pet
So let it sleep with me
I made it some pajamas
and a pillow for it's head
Last night the b'stard vanished
and pissed the ****in' bed.
Seasonal cheer (careful with the volume button) 😀
My mates got me a sweater for Christmas.
I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, though.
Every day in the office here is like Christmas!
We do all the work, and the fat bloke in the suit takes all the credit.
Christmas comes but once a year,
Glad Im not Christmas...
You say that, but it fills stockings.
The Potato King was sick of his three princess daughters moping around the palace so he summoned them to his chamber.
(Pam Ayers rustic accent needed here) “Daughters,” he commanded, “It is time for you to marry. Go out and find yourselves a suitable potato husband and report back to me one year from now.”
A year passed and the three daughters returned to tell their father how they had got on.
“My first daughter… tell me who you married!”
“Well Father,” replied the first daughter, “ I met a lovely Jersey Royal and I married him!”
“Very good! Very good!” chortled the Kind proudly. “Daughter number two?”
“Ooh Father, I met a lovely King Edward and I married him!”
“Excellent! Excellent!” smiled the King. “Now, daughter number three – how did you get on?”
(Sad voice here) “Well Father, I’m afraid I must disappoint you. I married….. Des Lynam”
“Des Lynam? Des Lynam?” shouted the King, enraged. “He’s just a common tater!”