MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
When the current Pig Flu turns everyone else into zombies, we are going to need to protect ourselves. Singletrack, we must be prepared.
[b]Here's the rules.[/b]
You are allowed 1 weapon.
Said weapon must currently be in the room you are currently occupying, as when the zombies break into your house, you aren't going to have much time to wander about to find your 6-iron.
For the purposes of this study, the zombie is felled by removing the head or destroying the brain, as in Shaun of the Dead.
Remember guys, 1 weapon, from the room you are in right now. Good luck.
I'm in my living room at the moment, so I don't have many sharp implements of any great size. I think i would end up having to use my TV stand, as its the only thing with sharp-looking corners, and could probably lop one or two heads off if I tried. I wouldn't last long though I expect, its a pretty small bit of kit and I would get overwhelmed by the sheer number of mutants.
Over to you.
I'd own them with some Bombers.
I don't have any in my room though, and looking at what's available I'd be in the shit. I do have 3 tall book cases and 2 wardrobes, though- maybe I'd just shove them onto the beggars.
I've got a slate edge T-square in the spare bedroom - will that do?
(mtt - how's things?)
[edit] thinking about I'd use the GF's geological hammer which is in the bedrooom (gulp)
70s style metal office coat/hat stand.
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In my room I have a few choices.
A baseball bat.
A cricket bat (classic Shaun choice).
A pace stick (has quite a sharp and pointy end).
A large amount of 12" vinyl records (including an as destroyed in the film first pressing of Blue Monday).
A Kukri (my grandad's from WW2).
Hmmm, choices, choices.
I'm at work so not a huge amount of scope, I think the coatstand would do the best job.
[url= http://www.shaunofthedeadmovie.com/game.html ]Shaun Of The Dead Game[/url]
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backed up by these for close quarters
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both within inches of me right now. you can never be too careful where Zombies are concerned
I have a large cactus and a swiss army knife
Hmm, looking round the office the first thing that I can see is a pair of scissors, but that's really a close in tool for the pros. Plenty of things I could throw at them, power supplies, scopes, wieghts, computers etc.
I could stab em with a hot soldering iron, or spray em with solvent and set fire to them, which the special effects department would like.
My best hope is whilst it's flailing around from the burning pcb cleaner, is to lob my road rat at it, hope it falls over, and the crush it's head with the big air compressor.
But things aren't looking good.
Mwahahahahha - Chainsaw in the corner. 😀
N.b. any other day and it would be didgeridoo.
Microphone stand straight through the eye should do! If I was at home I have a baseball bat available for such eventualities!
Ninjutsu style I think I'll be making a few pencils / pens disappear through the eyesocket (a la Joker in the Dark Knight)
other than that i'll be the brolly / coatstand (at work)
at home we have the kids stick bin outside the back door - so plenty of bludgeons in there.
I'll use the PhD student from my group.
I've got a Miroku MK70, 12G shotgun locked in the cabinet in the corner, but the key's hidden in a different room as are the cartriges.
Looks like I'm stuck with a computer keyboard, a couple of heavy books and a load of pens.....I'm screwed!
No, wait I've just noticed the curtain pole, but dogs can look up.
Do you want anything from the shop?
Cornetto
It 'aint hiphop............
The only thing i have to hand is a red pen...
"you've got red on you" ;0)
[url=
then try to get it out of your head[/url].
Its great as a ring tone too, if you like that kinda thing.
im in the office at work
im stuffed, there is a tall chair with metal legs, a couple of fold up umbrellas a pair of scissors and a sellotape dispenser
From the living room, the best i can offer is 2 guitar hero guitars, not sure how much damage they would do!
Or i have a camera tripod in the corner should do the trick!!
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.................
The coat stands look a bit flimsy, however, hook one up to the power supplies, et voilla! DIY PointyStickTazerZombieDestroyer(TM)
Let's see...
/looks around/
Right then, got a pair of 2006 RS Revs, two seat posts, assorted screw drivers, heavy books, speaker stands...
Hmmm...
/rummages/
Aahh! FTW...450mm adjustable wrench with 'Faithful' etched on it.
😈
All I need now is a zombie...
/waits patiently/
A 26" machette that was my grandads in a war a looong time ago, bit rusty now but should do the job!
In my hotel room at the moment in Beijing. Assorted goodies I could use but for originality, I would have to select the condom with integrated vibrator from the condom minibar on my desk to the right.
Roll it over said zombies head and watch it shake his brains to mush.
It's ELECTRO!
waste of a good vibrating condom
the only proper way to use such things is to give them a wash and use them to restore a good head to a pint of Harbin
I'm in the office, I'm going to have to use an old computer monitor, and smash that over it's head, which as we all know; in movies kills instantly. May have to get a bit close though, so may have to push a filing cabinets over it first...
If you're going to the shop, I'm out of coffee...
Bring em on 😈 - Honest - I'm sitting in a Tank museum!
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dave pop on the porn channel and have youself an extra posh w@nk
well i have a packet of jelly babies that i can slap them with,then when they're not expecting it,i can whack em over the head with my collins thesaurus (in a-z form).what if i gouged their eyes with fast fret(damn i just read it's non toxic!!!)
dave pop on the porn channel and have youself an extra posh w@nk
Pornography is illegal in China. You can buy it from mad looking old women who sell it from street carts at night though 🙂
It's odd as there are loads of 'sex shops' in Beijing selling toys etc.
I'd totally ignore the rules and hide behind mick hannah
Up close and personal with the fire extinguisher 😯
i'd just jump the bones of the blonde sitting across from me.
i'd just pray for once that the vinegar strokes were on time - imagine trying to get your rocks off for the last time and a zombie rips your throat out before you're done.
However, in a real situ i'd go for steel shelf divider thats razor sharp.
i'd just jump the bones of the blonde sitting across from me.
i'd just pray for once that the vinegar strokes were on time - imagine trying to get your rocks off for the last time and a zombie rips your throat out before you're done.
However, in a real situ i'd go for steel shelf divider thats razor sharp.
EDIT: Wow, i've never managed it twice before..... 🙂
could the attack wait until I'm next across at the site where the fire arms unit trains?
Im ok TBH behind me is a pair of Manipoo Axel forks I also have a whole tool box with assorted screwdrivers and heavy wrenches and a couple of hammers about 2m from me and a drill. I could do a whole load of on topic bludgeoning from my office. I do have a lot of crap in here!
[Hijack]
[b]aP[/b] - I am placing all my hope in a zombie attack to be honest. Some private 3D model/rendering, a couple of extensions, some web-design, planners are giving me the run-around regarding a new-build (see: glass pavilion...) and I am being forced to sell my bikes! How about you lot? I hear things may be starting to pick up?
[/Hijack]
I have a big letter-opener. Better than scissors, but not by much. I reckon I can keep them at a distance by chucking volumes of tax statutes at them though. With a bit of luck that would slow them down...
And chuckling at davidrussell.
Reckon I'd have to tear a desk leg off and use that, the office is suprisingly free of decent weapons.
I watched Dead Snow this weekend, Nazi weapon wielding Zombies, awesome!
ooohh yeah i saw dead snow at frightfest in london a couple of weeks ago, the director was there seemed like a really nice guy and looked about 12!
i liked the girl that girl that liked it dirty in the outhouse!!!
I think I would either fire staples at their eyes, slam their heads in a filing cabinet or stove their skulls in with my creaky sh!tbox Dell PC.
However everyone knows that killing zombies only buys you time at best. You will end up as one of them sooner or later, unless you can hijack a helicopter and escape to a tropical island with the tough-as-nails female lead.
i could chuck a staffie at em, and then a siamese cat, and finish em off with a chocolate brown poodle, but then i'm buggerd!
my mrs has said i'm going before the poodle 😯
i reckon i cold rip the guard off the large desk fan... pretty messy but would (eventually) get the job done.
I think there is even an extension lead under my desk.
I'm never going to be able to walk into a room without doing this assessment, am i?
currently sitting in a room with big swords in it, so I'm sweet....bring on the hordes of the living dead!!
Oh now... im a bike screed here... In the spare bedroom and it has NOTHING in it apart from a computer, a cupboard with clothes, my grandma's thimbles ( at least my thumbs would be ok...), a hi-fi and a Vase with some flowers... SO i'd have to rely on the vase, and maybe the computer screen for shock tactics. Hopefully i would then be able to get to the room next door, where i have screwdrivers and dumbell bars ( good bet i think). Then fight my way to the back door, into the shed, grab the gardening fork, and run for the woods...
Oh, where do we all meet, in the eftrmath of said attack, to mount our fight against the undead?
Got sword three feet from me which would do a decent job despite it being blunt.
The real is question is - what tyres for zombie plague?
does ant powder work on zombies ?
Mossberg M500, 8 shot pump, 20" barrel sat on top of a box containing 250 cartridges, within 3ft of me now. Got a competition at the weekend and have just sorted my kit
Dead Snow is an awesoem film, mainly because my cousing is one of the stuntmen.
See that bit where the zombie takes a sledgehmmer to the head, thats him!
crikey, stuff the electrified coat hangers, just show them my typing and their heads will explode!
Well i'm going to live longer than a lot of you!
Currently in this room -
1 Falchion - 23" blade
1 Rondel dagger - 14" blade (triangular section)
1 Misericord dagger - 12" blade
2 Bollock daggers - 12" & 8" blades
Plus, if i'm in the bedroom at the time i have a fighting axe by the bed.
If i'm in the garage with the bike then i can choose from -
1 Poll-axe
1 spear 9'
1 glaive 8'
1 glaive 7'
I'm sorted!
I'm pretty much screwed - I'm in the living room and my best bet is a 8 inch fire iron! As long as they have short arms I may stand half a chance.
As I was the first person to bring this highly likely sequence of events to the boards attention I feel a certain amount of responsibility and as such nominate myself as leader of the resistance.
Furthermore I feel compelled to clarify the rules and as such disqualify certain people.
[*]1) Anything that requires fuel or ammunition is ruled out.
2) The rebellion cannot be delayed until personal circumstances are more favourable (looking at you [i]mrchrispy[/i])
3)[i] Mr Agreeable[/i] is excluded due to his pessimism
4) We can assume that ant powder is ineffective
5) [i]Muddydwarf[/i] is excluded for obvious reasons
6) Women should ride American motorcycles, wear leather skirts and tube tops.[/*]
Oh, where do we all meet, in the eftrmath of said attack, to mount our fight against the undead?
Glentress Carpark outside the hub.
OI!! Why [i]excluded for obvious reasons[/i]?
??? what the hell happened there?
Anyway - why excluded you elitist git you! 😛
Glentress Carpark outside the hub.
rubbish, they'd never have enough beer. you need a pub for that kind of rendevouz
Anyone who owns [i]'2 Bollock daggers'[/i] is excluded, it was in the small print at the start if you'd bothered to look. 😉
I admit, we will miss your spear collection. Good luck.
rubbish, they'd never have enough beer. you need a pub for that kind of rendezvous
Alright, alright, any suggestions?
besides, GT is already full of braindead folk so it would be hard to distinguish zombie from Freeride-xc-lite-jeyboy in Armour. I guess we could throw turners at the zombies though...
so you'll be needing a Pub that is easily defensible, near some trails and has good beer and plenty of bar snacks?
i'll have a think
why are we pre judging the zombies as being hostile/brain eaters.perhaps they are vegan,and just want a chat. 🙂
they look too healthy to be vegans
I think the trails have to come 3rd on that list mate, behind good beer snacks 🙂
we need an island - clear out the island and man the shore defences. something like the Ailsa Craig where they can't sneak up behind us 🙂
[url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ailsa_Craig ]Fort Zombie - regular sailings from the Scottish West coast[/url]
Zombie:
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The Celebrity Vegan Bryan Adams:
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i'm going to go for the Stickle Barn pub in Langdale.
Not fantastic from a defensive point of view but it has great beer, many snacks and great trails nearby. Plus you get to re-start the human race with some of the rather attractive (non-zombie) bar maids