I had a similar problem, once a month for a few days it became rather irratic.
Turns out it all it needed was a coil fitting.
Wife noise floor is too high the only solution is to remove the noise or replace with something that operates on a wife frequency you can work with. There are more modern wife types available, better more attractive options out there but it will involve some investment. However it may only last for a while as there are constant advancements in the wife field.
Thing is, even if you get the latest model, with constant use and regular servicing, they still start to look a bit dated after a few years and you'll want to upgrade again!
If the situation doesn't improve I suggest you go back to using a dial up connection.
Alternatively, run two in parallel. This seems to work quite well for some people, although when things go wrong the costs involved tend to be quite significant.
How's the socket access? If access is a struggle you can get an electronic device that'll help get you started and maybe try an off the shelf lubricant.
On the subject of Android apps you could try Wife Hacker, and see if you can just gain access to one of your neighbours poorly secured wives.
Try placing a bunch of flowers near your wife. That may improve the signal. Doesn't always work and may invoke a full in depth scan.
I've got a couple of old wifes in the attic - they've been up there a while but they should still be serviceable if you want to give one a crack.
Check to see what protocols are supported, streaming video websites could be a good method of doing this.
Personally, I don't really fancy a wife so I've got one with a cable.
(I'm a girl)
I might be easier just to get a completely new wife. I understand that you can get them online from the Far East. Mind you, there's something to be said for finding your wife in person - I've heard that a lot of these deals yo find online don't really work out in the long term - something about differing protocols and languages.
I understand that you can get them online from the Far East.
I'd be careful with one of these wifes. They come in new packaging but are often pre-owned and have had a hard life.
I once heard a story where the new owner was surprised to find a ping pong ball had been left inside 😯
Cables can end up very messy, beware!! also if you are having trouble turning wife off I find that almost any lycra especially bib shorts and knee warmers works everytime!!!
If wife is currently turned on and working, use this opportunity to check Internet forums for people with similar wife problems...perhaps arrange a temp swap to see if wife problem goes away or is common issue for this model.
Then get together with other participants to discuss.
Chris
Fresh batteries always seems to make mine run a little happier
Reboot with 3 1/2" floppy?
You're not capped are you?
Think you may need a ram upgrade
is she talk talk, yap yap, moan moan or jibber jabber?
My wife started playing up after the house was struck by lightning......
How long have you had it, they tend to slow down after 2-3 years and need replacing. I'm on my third already.
But the box's get smaller each time, so that's nice!
Only if you go for a newer model Hammer, we can't all have brand new ones all the time!
I just go down the pub, they've got free wifes down there
I just go down the pub, they've got free wifes down there
Damn, I'll have to ask my local to get free wifes!
Have you tried configuring port forwarding?
Forward both ports on your main wife access point, this should at least allow you to configure the wife as a public hotspot, which will significantly increase reception.
I like to keep my WIFE secure, normally in the kitchen.
Have you tried going down the park and flashing your firmware?
Same in my house - I can only get a wife signal when I'm on the tablet.
My wife normally has a down cycle for 5 days every month, during that time no traffic is allowed at all, not no way, no how.
Wife signals tend to be all hiss and screech if situated next to a draft. I'd suggest moving the Wife to somewhere near a heat source, say a radiator, where the warmth and piping will enhance frequencies.
Your wife may be corrupted.
Have you tried a wife sniffer to see what's entering the house?
Too much crosstalk can corrupt your wife. Do you know the password to gain entry to the wife's box?
If you do you should be able to change the channel number your wife is transmitting on.
I cant believe this forum.
Why has no-one mentioned that its not the wife's fault. I would suggest having a long hard look at your Dongle and check whether there is anything you can do to get this operating more affectively.
You may find this sorts out all your wife problems.
it's not exclusive to the wife connections out there either, i use a dial up connection or if i'm really stuck a mobile device as a personal hotspot.
i have considered getting a new contract on a cable - but not sure whether i have the need for something with such commitment. I mean it may seem all great initially but then may become unreliable and i'm stuck with it in my house
as soon as I saw this I knew it would be a good one
I'd suggest turning off wife and turning back on again. But as mentioned, there are periods of downtime to be expected (between 3 and 5 days per month - yes as much as that).
Extreme, yes, but could try a different wife? Problem may stop.
Can I suggest you close the curtains when your wife's flashing.
Wouldn't have thought it would be the dongle Mooly, I've had one for years and it's always been a reliable performer, although to be fair it hasn't had a lot of use lately.
Perhaps your wife has interfaced with another dongle and now has compatability issues with yours. Your wife is now on dongle v2.0 and yours is v1.0?
If anyone is thinking of trying a new wifey box then I suggest there is less chance of future comprtability issues if the wiring in the dongle has been cut ,also if you haven't done any research on the new wifey may be best to cover up the dongle to prevent a virus!!!
I had to buy a number of felines before I found that Cat 5 gave excellent results.
You could try plugging straight into the rear of the wife box - make sure to turn the wife unit around though to see which port you should be using, but if this proves unsuccessful communication will drop off completely for days.
You could try plugging straight into the rear of the wife box - make sure to turn the wife unit around though to see which port you should be using, but if this proves unsuccessful communication will drop off completely for days.
S****!
This is the thread that keeps on giving! 😆
I find frequent rebooting works...
I had a problem with my Virgin wife once. I was furious so I wrote to the MD but even he couldn't get it operational.
There are different types of box too. It maybe one of those Chinese boxes, in which case, try the Asian ones, they're supposed to be more accessible.
If going for an Asian one Brooess just be very careful if you order one from Thailand, you may find you get something with a dongle rather than the port you were expecting.
Some of the ones with dongles have been to look very convincing, at least until you unwrap it.
Can you get the wife unit streaming properly when it's turned on? They can make a lot of noise when this happens, but I find an old pair of underpants stuffed in the main breather vent helps to cancel it out.
If the wife signal becomes so poor as to be unusable, enthusiastic manipulation of the dongle can render the wife signal redundant.
Double post
I think that this thread could be a serious rival to "Sudocreme Cat" 
Have you tried tethering it?
Mr_C - Member
Double post
Not all of them react well to a DP.
Just thought, is your wife also being used as a local hot spot?
If this is the case it's most likely that without your knowledge, too many neighbours are trying to access your wife at the same time.
Tethering is good. Just be careful you dont get the cord to tight or the plug might be interfered with.
Loving catching up with thread of the year after a top day on the piste, keep em coming!!!
Are you coming in extremely drunk and trying to use the wifey? If you are this can cause real problems, also if its a typical wifey then there should be two buttonssat the top that are obvious and one lower down that can be a bit tricky to locate, but fliddling with either or all of these should get it running a treat!!!
I mount mine near a radiator.
Is yours really hot bikebouy?
.
To the OP, it might sound silly but have you checked for rodents, maybe mice gnawing through a cable or something? Mine once encountered a rabbit and then wouldn't connect to my dongle for weeks.
Have you just tried having a bigger aerial fitted??
I would recomend going to the newer 802.11 N type Wife as with older models I found it impossible to find the G spot.
Unfortunately I eventually had to sever the connection on my wife signal after struggling with a difficult period of erratic reception, eventually diagnosed as a bi-polar malfunction.
Since then I've had the opportunity to demo several different models, with varying degrees of user satisfaction. I've also discovered several online providers, but have learned to become wary of the image, date of manufacture and accompanying technical data as often one, all, or a combination bear little resemblance to the actual component.
been away for a few days, and amazed the op hasnt sorted his wife out yet.
Meh, if she is still receiving spaff oops ahem SPAM there ain't much wrong. Try forcing a lower port with an unexpected upload. The tighter bandwidth should restore communication.
Could you borrow another wife unit to see if the signal is better?
I'm sure if one of us lives close enough we would lend you ours, particularly if it coming close to the monthly usage allowance?
been away for a few days, and amazed the op hasnt sorted his wife out yet.
I noticed on another thread that he's also having trouble with his wireless router. Talk about a run of bad luck.
Have you checked the AC/DC adaptor is up to capacity? I have found that a lack of juice can be quite disruptive to achieving a smooth wife interface.
I think this is an upgrade problem: I suspect the OP upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He then discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. But soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which is as well all know a "huge resource hog". Hence the OPs problems its a resource allocation issue. It has has now taken up all of his bandwidth, so he can't run anything else. One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife 1.0 is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0.
Well it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 often prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new
Plug-Ins he wanted to try, again all those suggestions to try different ports may be causing the problem. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.
Wife 1.0 came bundled with MotherInLaw 1.0 which has an automatic pop-up feature that he can't turn off. Some of you have suugested variations of installing Mistress 1.0, but if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway due to insufficient resources.
Oh it seems that five pages later my missing 'i' is still causing hilarity making this by several leagues my most successful STW post ever!
keppoch - Member
Oh it seems that five pages later my missing 'i' is still causing hilarity making this by several leagues my most successful STW post ever!
Well done,I think eveyone's enjoyed themselves.
Did you manage to get your problems sorted? 😉
it seems that five pages later my missing 'i' is still causing hilarity
Have you had any success with your wife during this time?
Try garnering a positive response by stimulating the rear port and the front port simultaneously.
Success is measured by increased noise levels and upload speed.
IGMC.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Most enjoyable. A mazillion times more entertaining than any of that Picolax guff.
Deadslow wins