[Closed] I'm not enjoying this banana

been in the fridge?

I'd banana and toast for lunch, was great! 🙂

are you certain it's a banana ?

Is it quite straight too?

Are you sure it's not a courgette?

Or a caterpillar?

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Puts all bananas in bin, puts bin outside, puts brick on top of bin, sets fire to brick.
Should be okay now.

Celery Celery ... we are the barmy XX army and we all enjoy celery

You know when people on here say things like they spewed coffee all over their keyboard? Yes? Well, I always assume it's an exaggeration and think it's a bit of a silly thing to say.

Except...

I opened this thread with a smile, because I myself am quite fussy about bananas, and thought I would be able to relate. Then I read this:

scaredypants - Member
are you certain it's a banana ?

and because I was sipping from a can of Tesco Orange Zero at the time, proceeded to spew it all over my clothes, my desk, and my keyboard.

Thanks alot, scaredypants. You owe me.

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I always approach the bananas at the supermarket with a mix of fear and excitement

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But if you don't eat bananas like all the others,"
Scaredypants said, "Then what do you live on?"

"That is a squelching tricky problem around
here," Molgrips answered. "In this sloshflunking
Whales Country, happy eats like pineapples and
pigwinkles is simply not growing. Nothing is
growing except for one extreemly icky-poo
vegetable. It is called the snozzcumber."

"The snozzcumber!" cried Scaredypants. "There's no
such thing!"

Molgrips looked at Scaredypants and smiled, showing
about twenty of his square white teeth. "Yesterday,"
he said "we was not believeing in Molgrips's, was we?
Today we is not believing in snozzcumbers. Just
because we happen not to have actually seen
something with our own little winkles, we think it is
not existing."

what is the green & white situation about in howsyourdad1's 2nd pic?
First one is obviously fake. As is the video. Fake I tell you FAKE!

[quote=DezB ]what is the green & white situation about in howsyourdad1's 2nd pic?
First one is obviously fake. As is the video. Fake I tell you FAKE!

Google Image search shows it's stuffed with cocaine.

http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/646641/20_Creative_Ways_People_Have_Smuggled_Drugs_and_Been_Caught

I had a banana a while back that was starting to go past yellow, into the proper ready-for-eating yellow-with-black-bits state... Then it went into reverse, and started going green. I left it a bit longer to see what it'd happen and after a few more days it basically turned into a bit of wood. I half expected the government to put a big white tent round the house and fly around us in black helicopters

perchypanther - Member

"That is a squelching tricky problem around here," Molgrips answered. "In this sloshflunking Whales Country, happy eats like pineapples and pigwinkles is simply not growing. Nothing is growing except for one extreemly icky-poo
vegetable. It is called the snozzcumber."

Molgrips is Boris Johnson?

Is is straight or bendy ?

First one is obviously fake

Maybe not.

I worked in a supermarket when I was a student and spiders in the bananas was a fairly common occurence. Sometimes they were not dead.

colleague's parents are visiting from china, our office is full of really delicious looking but odd tasting pastries

I keep going back for more tho!

First one is obviously fake

not so

" The adult spider - whose venom can kill a human in two hours - is still yet to be found "

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/oct/19/killer-spider-supermarket-shopping

[i]Google Image search shows it's stuffed with cocaine.[/i]

Ah, I could live with that.

There are no massive spiders in bananas. Or small ones. Or any.

There are no massive spiders in bananas. Or small ones. Or any.

It's the nests you really want to look out for

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A little spider just crawled across my desk. Anyone got a banana they need filled?

[i]It's the nests you really want to look out for[/i]

PHOTOSHOP!

(ps. I'm not scared of spiders, just don't want em in me 'nanas.)

Write on the skin with a biro.

Heavenly.

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😆

I worked in a supermarket when I was a student and spiders in the bananas was a fairly common occurence. Sometimes they were not dead.

local supermarket has had tropical spiders living in the roof void & scorpions running out of the banana crates. 😯

Family flee house after finding lethal Brazilian wandering spider in bunch of bananas in their Waitrose groceries delivery

Now you wouldn't get a lethal kill you in 2 hours spider from any old supermarket would you. I bet at Asda you'd be lucky to get one of those spindly leg tiny body things you find in the garage. And as for Lidl it would be some type unknown to man.

ps. I'm not scared of spiders, just don't want em in me 'nanas.)

In your Nana's what?

Has it been out of its pyjamas for too long?

From the Guardian article...

Pest expert Steve Trippett, who described the spider as “hardcore”

they found that the spider had ripped off its own leg

🙂 Quite a temper....

waayyyyy! Roper's back!

Update thread required, with lots of pics!