[Closed] I'm going to Yorkshire later - will I die?

All I know is it [i]will[/i] be your fault.

I've managed to survive over 12 years on this side, you will be safe as long as you don't mention pasty barms.

Beware the moon and stay on the road.

Depends where you go, if your going to Leeds city centre tonight or tomorrow night then yes, you will indeed die.

where? who said you could? did you get a permit?

Are all your injections up to date?

can you shower on your way IN please dirty lancashire bastard

😆

Take some garlic and a silver bullet.

😆

I've got my passport, I've had my malaria jabs and everyfink

I'm guessing you must be a Southern Softie?

If your from down south , could you do me a favour - visit a pub , buy a "sprinkler" of the landlord and take it back with you and explain how to use it just in case I have to visit again . Ta

Take bubble gum-stockings and blue jeans,.and tell em you know Elvis..they like that,.........

A southerner?! I've never been so insulted in my life!

Pfft!

I'm guessing you must be a Southern Softie

A southerner?! I've never been so insulted in my life!

Pfft!

We'll require a security deposit payable at the toll booths on Saddleworth
If you're a Lanc we need a double deposit

I'm guessing you must be a Southern Softie?

In the Wars of the Roses the Yorkshiremen were basically southerners - they drew all their men and support from the south. Lancastrians are [i]proper[/i] northerners.

We went to Brighouse last weekend and it was great, fish'n'chips to die for, and a top [i]Local[/i] freehouse pub within 2mins of the hotel,. it was VERY [i]Local[/i] though....

That's always assuming [s]we[/s] the border guards let him in. Or out again

We went to Brighouse last weekend and it was great, fish'n'chips to die for, and a top Local freehouse pub within 2mins of the hotel,. it was VERY Local though....

Red Rooster ? or The Ship ?

Mmmmmmm beer

The ship I think, little sample shot glasses in front of each pump, they sold pork pies and pancakes as well 😀
I was shitfaced after a bit tbh 😳

Thee will be all reet.

It has to be said that Yorkshire is ace. I love getting over border.

*conversation overheard in the pub*
'na'then'
'Ow art?'
'or'reet'
'g'lad'
[i]Local[/i] 😯

Will I survive?

Just stick to the nice places like Holme Wood in Bradford and you will probably be OK, security is excellent there.

[img] [/img]

We went to Brighouse last weekend and it was great, fish'n'chips to die for, and a top Local freehouse pub within 2mins of the hotel,

You went to Brighouse for a holiday??

Or'reet Ian 😀 no,..work.

[img] :large[/img]

An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Oldham taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Manchester... There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Oldham and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God.

'O.K., thank you,' said the American.

He then travelled to Blackburn, Burnley, Rochdale Littleborough, and Todmorden... In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it. The American, upon leaving Lancashire decided to travel to Yorkshire to see if Yorkshiremen had the same phone.

He arrived in Halifax, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call.'

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over Lancashire and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Lancashire the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'

The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Yorkshire now, son ... it's a local call.'

😉

once you're in Yorkshire, you become Yorkshire.
we Yorkshire folk will welcome you with open arms.
Into the fold.
We will be condescending of your place of origin, but will congratulate you on your rebirth as a citizen of God's own country, Yorkshire.
You will never want to leave, nor will you be allowed to leave.
Be proud, be Yorkshire.

Is there a little smiley for sticking finger down throat?

No-one's ever answered this satisfactorily, but why is it everything from Yorkshire, from Tea to Broadband has to be prefixed with the adjective 'honest', is no one honest in Yorkshire then, so when something is found to be so it's a reason for celebration?

Blimey! Thats put t cat the cat amongst t pigeons!

I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that William Hague was being entirely honest about his sexuality and sharing hotel rooms with his 'friend' 😉

[img] [/img]

we, of Yorkshire, do not need to use the adjective 'honest'.
for when we speak of Yorkshire, honesty is implied, nay, honesty is KNOWN.

We'll require a security deposit payable at the toll booths on Saddleworth
If you're a Lanc we need a double deposit

Forgot to mention

The booths for refunding the deposit are out of order - we'll get around to fixing them one day

If I say I know Hora, would that help?

Some of us can remember when Saddleworth was moved out of Yorkshire, grown men cried in the streets of Uppermill, Greenfield, Delph, Diggle and Dobcross.

I've just had 3 hours riding around the woods and forests near Harrogate, it's snowy and hard pack ice off road but the roads are clear. I'm supping tea and eating biccies now..

I'm ot dead yet..

But I'll let you know if I do pop off.

Bring thermals.

The good people of Yorkshire will be highly offended and angered if you forget the importance of Valentine's Day in Yorkshire.

Therefore, for your own safety, it is essential that you wear a red rose in your lapel whenever you are out in public. Particularly in pubs or at cricket matches.

Stay safe.

"you're going home in a Yorkshire ambulance"

buy a "sprinkler"

[img] http://www.barleybottom.com/lib/images/image.php?ID=113&type=picture [/img]

Stick to the good old Yorkshire saying and thee'l be reet.

Hear all,see all,say nowt,

Eat all,sup all,pay nowt,

And if tha does owt for nowt,do it for thissen.

buy a "sprinkler"

That'll be a sparkler then

Bugger , yeh that's the baby,I know peeps who carry their own in case of emergency

binners - Member
If I say I know Hora, would that help?

Has that ever helped before?

My sister married a wazzack, Ohh the shame 😥 😯 😆
That said, were all northern 😉

Mum from Collyhurst in Manchester, dad from Sheffield.

I live in Todmorden, which doesn't even know which county it's in.

I'm very confused as to who I should hate, how tight I should be, what to drink and who to laugh at.

My mum made sure I was born in yorkshire, in case I was a cricketer

I wasn't

Yorkshiremen say wot they like ,and like wot we bloody well say

you'll die in a badly enthusiastic, not bothered give a shit of splurge. Well done. and irony. nice one mods!

[i]Some of us can remember when Saddleworth was moved out of Yorkshire, grown men cried in the streets of Uppermill, Greenfield, Delph, Diggle and Dobcross.[/i]

Some of them are *still* whining about it, ffs. Mind you, they'll all be dead soon so the rest of us can just enjoy the place.

I'd just like to report that we made it back over the border in one piece.

And very nice it was too 😀

Did you pick up your new bike?

Bar end plug was missing in the photo. This could be a very crude assassination attempt on your good Mancunian self.

I did indeedy sir. I've not tried it out yet, due to most of North Yorkshire looking like a glacier. And the pub looking like a far warmer, safer option

I've foiled the plot though. I'm going to buy some end plugs to avoid any Derek Starship stylee apple-coring incidents