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recently found out someone I'd been seeing since April was having a fling with a married man.
I'd had been harbouring suspicions for 6-8 weeks and convinced myself I was an utter fruit loop, but the signals kept coming back time and time again.
Anyway, checked her phone, found the evidence and after she said she'd call it off with him we kind of had a good period of two weeks where she was remorseful and seemed to be genuine.
I then got cold feet and decided I didn't want to be a mug and got rid. The only thing that stopped me so far is he has children.
She then has been pestering me to get back together, but reading between the lines I think she's seeing him again. She only admitted she loves us both, for different reasons (yup!!)
The question is, shall I blow him in to his missus?
When I found out I sent him some messages and he's replied with full apology ( it just happened blah blah blah) and it would make any denial by him impossible. His wife is friends on Facebook with my now ex and she'd been confiding to her about how their marriage wasn't in a good place. So I feel sorry that this woman has been shafted by her shitty fella, as well as her 'mate'...
My original intention was to let sleeping dogs lie, but underneath I'm feeling a sense of duty to this poor woman who's having the piss taken out of her. It won't be a surprise to her I doubt, they\ve spent the last two years riding together waaaayyy too much and there's been rumours, so she may not be surprised at all.
If I do this, am I serving a purpose or just causing family havoc?
bird? you started off well.
She then has been pestering me to get back together, but reading between the lines I think she's seeing him again. She only admitted she loves us both, for different reasons (yup!!)
Stay well clear.
If she can't remain faithful for seven months at the start of a relationship then she's not exactly a keeper.
The question is, shall I blow him in to his missus?
Ask yourself what your motivation is here?
Is it really selfless honesty or just vengeance? A chance to hurt the guy who hurt you?
Personally I'd stay well clear and move on.
bird? you started off well.
most respectful term I can think of atm
The question is, shall I blow him in to his missus?
Nope. MYOB, nothing good can come out of it for you. Find another feathered or non feathered friend and forget all about it.
Speaking from experience as "the wife" in this situation, then I say grass him up.
Walk away and stay away and NO don't blow the whistle as all that will happen is that all concerned will hate you it's a no win situation so like I said walk away and stay well out of it
Tell him that if he doesn't tell his wife, then you will.
He probably won't do it and there's no compelling reason for you to make good on your threat either, but it'll make the ****er sweat for a few days.
Is the 'wife' hot? Might she need consoling if it were to come out about her husbands affair? 🙄
Blow the whistle and walk away leaving a trail of desctruction behind you with a clear conscience that you have done nothing wrong.
your bird
The 70's are calling. 😐
walk away from all if it, not worth the hassle.
Is the 'wife' hot? Might she need consoling if it were to come out about her husbands affair?
not bad actually, that thought had crossed my mind!
Sorry, who are you thinking of blowing?
Grass them and walk away as it all explodes.
The question is, shall I blow him in to his missus?
And thrice, nope.
She only admitted she loves us both, for different reasons (yup!!)
You've done the right thing, consider yourself single - happy days! Absolute radio silence, number block on the mobile, and Facebook block is the way to go.
The more time that goes on, the happier you will be that you took this route. Ignoring her is far more powerful than anything else, it just shows you're confident in your decision.
Get on POF and live it up! Plenty of birds out there!
Being vindictive is never a good idea.
It'll just come back on you one day.
I'd be ****ing it right off. Plus you've only been with her for 6 months or so so better to get out now than further down the road.
Sorry, you'd be a mug to consider any further contact with either . Go biking and enjoy yourself instead.
Trust your gut feeling, our intuition picks up on things our conscious mind doesn't - little body language cues etc. I've been seeing a lady recently who I had jitters about from day one - and the more I learn about the mess her life is in the more I realise I'm best off running away (not walking, running!)
Walk away - your feelings about how other people are being treated are irrelevant and various players in the situation may well not thank you or even really hate you from making your feelings known.
If you walk away now you can keep your head held high and be the bigger man in all of this...grass him up and the situation may become a bit rubbish for you and you could loose some of the moral ground, which may well pee you off even more...I'd leave it.
You've only been seeing her since April. Had you explicitly agreed to go exclusive? If not she may just have been on a different page and been surprised that you were expecting her to not date others?
[quote=Cougar ]Tell him that if he doesn't tell his wife, then you will.
He probably won't do it and there's no compelling reason for you to make good on your threat either, but it'll make the ****er sweat for a few days.
Like it!
on and on - Member
Sorry, you'd be a mug to consider any further contact with either . Go biking and enjoy yourself instead.
I very rarely comment on threads like this, but this quote is one of the best I've seen.
Tell his wife and get yourself tested for STD and anything else.
I am being serioues when i say get yourself tested, you do not know who the other chap has been sleeping with as well as the lady in question, so do yourself and any future partners a favour and do it soon.
Good luck
It's amazing how vindictive people want to be sometimes.
I married my wife within 6 months of meeting her. This caused TWO ex flings (can't even call them girlfriends) to get directly in touch with my wife through Facebook to try and dob me in to something. I'm not friends with either of FB, for good reasons, so they must have actively gone and stalked me and seen my change of relationship status! They then assumed that because of when we got married that I must have been with them when I was with my wife.
They were short flings for a reason. Zero contact afterwards for a reason. Really are some nutters out there, and sorry girls, most of them are you!
edit
get yourself tested
Good advice - deffo time for an MOT.
on and on - Member
Sorry, you'd be a mug to consider any further contact with either . Go biking and enjoy yourself instead.
This is probably the best advice yet. Please, please heed it.
Leave well alone....ditch your "bird" for a reliable one who likes riding (bikes??!!)
At the end of the day...other peoples business is...well...other peoples business!
Is she fit ? Any photos ? 😉
"shall I blow him in to his missus?" Good grief man, pull yourself together! NO
Get rid of HER, why on earth do you feel the need to protect her, GET A GRIP!!
Do not involve yourself in the shitstorm that's about to engulf the married dude!
I can only assume you're blinded by love/lust and not normally this stoopid.
Geez Louise!
What Cougar said, and add in a bit of advice about getting himself checked for STDs.
That'll really make him sweat.
Is she fit ? Any photos ?
Fair point.
Why is it 'vindictive' to tell the chaps wife? If i had a partner who was cheating on me, i would want to know. Not for the drama of having a row (if he's cheating he's not worth getting upset about) it would be for my health.
I don't want heptitas, aids, gonorrhea or anything else and if that person is cheating i doubt they would have my health and welfare at the forefront of their mind.
There is nothing tough or masculine about keeping silent and there is nothing b*tchy about speaking up. The reason why STD's are on the increase is becuase people put there heads in the sand.
The question is, shall I blow him in to his missus?
Honesty, do you even have to ask?
[quote=mrsfry ]The reason why STD's are on the increase is becuase people put there heads in the sand.Is that ex-vaginal sand?
If you pump the burd who is married to the bloke who is pumping your burd then the square is complete and it all cancels out.
And you have an opening gambit.
The reason not to get involved is because some people are psycho, and the damage they can cause can be big and the truth doesn't matter a jot!
Run, run for the hills and don't look back.
for clarification purposes.... I HAVE got rid of her, in the relationship sense, but there's still the odd text now and then.
I have been tested for STD's and clear
My reason for considering this, is not because I'm vindictive etc, it's I feel sorry for his wife. She's friends with my ex (on FB) and she thinks the sun shines out of my ex's backside. But, she knows that her fella has spent the last 2 years riding (bikes) 3 times a week with her and I think its a case of keeping your friends close and enemies closer.
I feel a duty to tell her and put her out of her misery.
My take is if the marriage is going downhill anyway it will come to an end at some point, so maybe I won't be the marriage breaker, but for now still absorbing all the comments...
Their marriage is not your problem.
So were you the indoor boyfriend or the outdoor one?
Your sense of duty is misplaced. Seriously not your business.
I'll just leave this here.
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Like you did, she may have suspicions anyway. I'd tell her I think.
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OP, it doesn't matter how many times you tell us you've dumped her, we'll still keep telling you to "Run for the Hills..." 🙂
Personally, I don't think you should tell his wife - their marriage is not really your business and you have no idea how he's react to that - he's sorry now, but if you tell her, then he might feel the gloves are off etc and might turn dangerous. But as said earlier, there's nothing to stop you having a bit of fun with him...not THAT kind of fun.