[Closed] If you had to...

I'll give some thought...

I think this is a very good question. To my taste, the orangutan/chimp/gorilla/baboon thing is a dead end. It'd be a bit likebeing married to a human, but manky, covered in hair and with horrible, horrible teeth. And she would essentially have the same irritating little mannerisms as a human, so it would just wind you up and you'd end up hating her.

If you've got to cross the species barrier in holy matrimony, I reckon something totally different but surprisingly alluring is the way to go. Otter sounds good. We've discussed the strange allure of the seal to heterosexual men before now. Dolphin would have to be in the frame as long as you'd got a swimming pool. You'd never tire of looking at a reasonably attractive seal. The sex would be brilliant, and you'd each have your own interests and values. It would be a real fusion of experiences. You could tell her about biking, being a lawyer and all that, and she'd tell you about swimming underwater and fishing. You'd learn so much.

If the aquatic element is going to be a problem then I'm going for an oryx, or a kudu or something like that. A nice, big, clean-limbed antelope with enormous, soulful eyes and a sleek coat. I don't reckon you'd have much chat with an antelope, but again, great sex and you'd never get bored of looking at her.

Tricky one, isn't it?

hahaha 😀 fine wordsd there big dummy.

I'll go for a llarma

a wag?

Llama'd have many advantages.

C'mon nickc. Thinking about it for more than 15 minutes will make you go blind. 🙂

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I [i]knew[/i] BigDummy would give serious thought to this question.

[i]We've discussed the strange allure of the seal to heterosexual men before now[/i]

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As long mythologised by doomed fishermen.... excellent book, btw.

I once knew & loved a girl who was - basically - a panther. As a result, I can't watch [i]Cat People[/i].

BigDummy....

is this how the world looks through your eyes?

[url=

sexy animals[/url]

I was going for a tiger...y'know a danger **** everytime... plus none of that boooooring I'm on a diet, just pounds and pounds of meat...

can i have the monkey who was riding the lurcher in the townie rabbit thread, seems like a good laff

a girl who was - basically - a panther

I think there's quite a lot of strain being placed on the meaning of "basically" there noteeth. Was she, or was she not, a panther? If she was, you seem uniquely well-qualified to offer us an opinion on the question pk-ripper poses. 🙂

I used to date a girl who I swear, made love like a disjointed cheetah on speed....It was dangerous, there were bruises.

The adverts over there have just come up with TIGER sheds...It's like being stalked

a danger **** everytime

You're a braver man than I am. Although I may be under-estimating the risks of letting a kudu give me a blow-job.

Kudu...big teeth...say no more

Wait up. How about an okapi?

llama you say

they certainly have nice soft fur and big dreamy eyes
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What about...go with me here....A whale?

you know, a 'thingy' so big, you could actually get in it...How cool would that be?

[i]Was she, or was she not, a panther?[/i]

Hard to tell. She may have been new to Science.

Kimbers - is that an actual wedding photo? 😯

Kimbers...you've cropped that photo haven't you?

What's going on ...down there...

bleat

Nickc, a whale might be a good option, but say if you wanted to go away for the weekend it's hardly going to fit in the passenger seat of a Citroën xsara Picasso without interfering with the gear change in some way. By the time you got to the Cotswolds you'd be proper stressed out and likely to have an argument as soon as you get to the b&b.

Nickc, a whale might be a good option, but say if you wanted to go away for the weekend it's hardly going to fit in the passenger seat of a Citroën xsara Picasso .....

No, but suppose you just wanted to go to the Isle Of Man or Dublin for the weekend?
Or spend a bit longer and pop over to New York?

Yeah I see what you're getting at....but a 'thingy' the size of a small car...C'mon.

It's appealling nick, but imagine her yelling "****ing run in and out of it you scrawny little twit. FASTER!!! Are you in yet? I can't feel a thing. Put another wetsuit on or you won't touch the bloody sides." Get you down after a while.

Kitten, because the world is running out of them

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Imagine down the pub...

"I'm married to a whale"

"Yeah, my missus has put on some weight recently as well..."

"No, no you misunderstand, I'm married to an actual whale...you should see the size of her thingy. Weekends away are an absolute trial, let me tell you..."

I always like cheetahs. Wouldn't want sex with one though. I suppose they're a bit like the supermodel of the animal kingdom.
The OP never mentioned shagging anyway.

He didn't, but you can't found a sustainable marriage on chastity. I reckon you'd be looking at a complete package - sex, a shared life together, the possibility of children. 🙂

does anyone know of any animals that have been succesfully taught to drive? i dont think i could ever live with someone who doesnt drive.

failing that... maybe a gulper eel... there's no way one of them can claim to have a gag reflex.

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I'm in love

An owl.

I always like to look a girl in the eyes, whatever "angle" we're adopting at the time.

a wet slimey octopus

A donkey - draw your own conclusions.

After a friend sent me, for no particular reason, a film of a woman having marital relations with a donkey it's stripped the idea of marrying one of all of its beauty.

Bunnyhop, I can only conclude that you would like a donkey in order to spend time with it's friends in what would, over a period of I guess not more than a couple of weeks, become your sanctuary.

BigDummy - Member
It's appealling nick, but imagine her yelling "****ing run in and out of it you scrawny little twit. FASTER!!! Are you in yet? I can't feel a thing. Put another wetsuit on or you won't touch the bloody sides." Get you down after a while.

Just had a drink/screen interface accident 😆

Donkey - Small, strong as an ox, cute, furry and easy to keep. I'll have 2 please.

Bunnyhop - Member

Donkey - Small, strong as an ox, cute, furry and easy to keep. I'll have 2 please.

Bigamy? You make me sick Bunnyhop.

A skate. Damn good in the sack so I am told by a fisherman I know.

Llama's are too big and smelly.

Alpaca all the way.

Yay - welcome back Torminalis 🙂

Bunnyhop - Member
A donkey - draw your own conclusions.

Wipes coffee off keyboard, screen, window and apprentice. nbt not packing much in the Porridge Gun stakes?

Back to the OP. A bonobo. More niche than a chimp and with a lower bite strength.

😆

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Darn Flickr. 🙁

What do I do please?

cinnamon_girl - Member

Darn Flickr.

What do I do please?

See here and the post below

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/whats-up-with-flickr#post-1686486

Honey Badger. Female, of course.

Thanks very much chaps. Obviously missed that thread!

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i once came across an ocelot and liked the cut of it's jib

but would risk drowning for a petite porpoise

Llamas are out, I'm told they spit rather than swallow.

Maybe a Rhino would give me the horn?

Lolzord. My (human) wife is giving me the stink-eye for my idiotic s****ing.

My first thought was a sleek, characterful alpaca. Or perchance a feisty kangaroo.

a limb regenerating tasty meat unicorn!!!

Actually, I've concluded on a lyger, cos they're huge bitches. Total trophy wife. People would look as we walked along the street hand in paw, popping into superdrug to get the latest garnier tinted eye roller and think "not only is that guy dressed very well, but that's some hot lyger he's managed to pull. A proper lilf!"

No need.

Delete please.

Too far 😥